Nov 16 2009 Bacon Sunrise Is The New Tequila Sunrise
I love tequila sunrises. You know why? They're fruity, come with a little umbrella, and go down great with breakfast. Which, more often than not, is two quarts of mimosas I mixed into an orange juice carton. I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ON EATING HEALTHY. But, for those of you that prefer a solid breakfast, maybe you'll be interested in this bacon sunrise, which is actually just some bacon, an egg and a couple sprigs of inedible greenery. Now imagine if you were miniaturized and walking those rolling bacon hills. Would you stop to enjoy the eggrise or would you be too busy driving bacon into your mouth to notice? No need to answer, I've got your number.
Hit the jump for another one of a bacon road.
Continue Reading " Bacon Sunrise Is The New Tequila Sunrise "
Oct 1 2009 Huge Cache Of Dinosaurs Eggs Found In India
In promising dinosaur-cloning news, hundreds of football-sized Sauropod eggs have been uncovered in India. Secretary, book me a flight! Oh, wait, they're all infertile. Secretary, cancel that flight and order me a pizza!
"The important finding is that these eggs have been found in different layers that means the dinosaurs came to the place over and over year after year," he said.
"The second important thing is that we have got volcanic ash deposits on the eggs which suggests that volcanic activity could have caused their extinction."The other thing we have found is that all these eggs are unhatched and infertile. So what made the eggs infertile? We need to carry out further studies to learn more from the findings."
Dr Ramkumar and his team have called on the central and state governments to protect what they are calling a "Jurassic treasure trove".
Hell yes, Jurassic treasure trove. That's better than pirate gold in my book. And my book is awesome and has COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS OF ME BONING DINOSAURS (tasteful ones). Just saying, go ahead and send the Caldecott to my parent's house.
Dinosaur eggs are found in India [bbcnews]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Awesome Saucer, who have a time machine and may or may not be responsible for some of those eggs (read: the eggs are infertile so I suspect they are).
May 29 2009 Make Anything Taste Delicious: Baconnaise
I've known about Baconnaise for a while but I've been getting this tip pretty steadily for like a year now so I guess I can't keep it all to myself anymore. Baconnaise: bacon flavored mayonnaise. From J&D foods (who also make bacon lube and BaconSalt (see the salt after the jump), a 3-pack of 15-ounce jars in on sale from Amazon for the low, low artery clogging price of $11. And with the combined power of Baconnaise and Baconsalt, you really can make anything taste like bacon! And I do mean anything. Oh hoooooney!
Hit the jump to see the salt.
Continue Reading " Make Anything Taste Delicious: Baconnaise "
May 28 2009 Those Look Fragile: Eggshell Speakers
A guy named Gomhi (who may or may not own chickens) went and made himself some speakers out of a pair of eggshells and Hi-Vi B1S drivers. As you can see, they probably remind you of boobs. Because you're a serious pervert (no amateurs here!). Blah blah blah [insert joke about being careful not to fry your speakers here]. Blogging: I am good at it.
Amazing DIY speakers made of eggshells [dvice]
Thanks to Octopus Pie, anon and Shelly, who prefer their speakers with a side of bacon.
Apr 29 2009 About Time: Anti-Robot Denny's Commercial
Truthfully, I rarely go to Denny's because I prefer IHOP's Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity combo (two eggs, two bacon strips, two pork sausage links and two buttermilk pancakes crowned with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping). But I may make a change after seeing this commercial, which highlights the importance of eating a hearty breakfast in the fight against machines. You can't go fighting those robotic bastards on an empty stomach -- they'll gut you like a fish! The Grand Slamwich from Denny's: it's what John Connor would do.
Thanks to Scurls, who knows a Carnation Instant Breakfast just won't cut it.
Mar 4 2009 Now You're Cooking!: Wii Breakfast
This is video of a fake video game called Wii Breakfast. It's similar to Cooking Mama, except fake and with way more peripherals. And speaking of breakfast....
OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU BOOZEHOUNDS DRANK THE LAST OF MY GIN?
Thanks to Jillian, who is more than welcome to come over and cook breakfast whenever she likes. Just a heads up though, Jillian -- I like my eggs like I like my panyhose: runny.
Nov 30 2008 Gay Penguins Steal Eggs From Straight Couples, Get Proposition 8'ed By Zoo
Two gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, China have been stealthily stealing eggs from straight couples and replacing them with rocks. Brilliant!
But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracized the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.
"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper."It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.
Not discrimination my ass. Next thing you know the couple won't even be allowed to marry. Seriously, I have had it up to here *raising arm as high over head as possible* with this nonsense. Penguins are people too, you know? And wow, my pits smell like chili-dogs with lots of chopped onion. F***ing love those things. Gay penguins too. Pittsburgh, eh, not so much.
Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples [telegraph]
Thanks to Matt, who allegedly saw a turtle threesome at the zoo once.
Oct 22 2008 New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista
These are the two new Mac ads (other one after the jump) that take a direct stab at Microsoft's recent commercial endeavors and Vista. Now I hate to call this a mud slinging campaign, but that certainly seems to be what it is. Which, I think we can all agree, harkens back to the age old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: It was a cock! Trust me, I'm an evolutionary bioscientologist.
Hit the jump for the other one.
Continue Reading " New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista "
Oct 1 2008 Flatshare Refrigerator Keeps Your No Good Thieving Roommates Out Of Your Food
Not really, it just separates everyone's food so it doesn't get mixed up. The Flatshare is a finalist in the Electrolux Design Lab 2008 competition and is the brainchild of Austrian design student Stefan Buchberger, who has obviously had it up to here with getting his freaking Eggos stolen. The unit consists of a base on which you can stack four separate refrigerator/freezer modules. Neat concept, but pretty worthless in real-world application. This won't stop a roommate from stealing your cold cuts, trust me. But you know what will? Poison. Haha, I poured rat killer in the OJ. I think it worked too, because I haven't heard a peep from the loud bastard in a few hours. I'll go check on him just as soon as I finish this screwdrive....oh Jesus -- quick, somebody call poison cont
Flatshare Fridge Separates Your Roommate's Rotten Food From Yours [gizmodo]
Thanks to Sophia, who agrees it's a sin punishable by pissing on their clean clothes pile to steal a roommate's last pudding pack.
Sep 17 2008 Ninja Cat Is Mad Stealthy, Will Kill You
Sorry for the late start today folks. You see, my girlfriend and I got in a fight last night over how I like my eggs cooked, and she, in a fit of rage, broke my interwebs. But I've pieced them back together and am ready to roll. So let's do this!
Here's a video of a ninja cat that only approaches when the cameraman isn't looking. Skip about halfway through the video for the good stuff. It's pretty cute. Reminds me of the time The Terrorist tried to jump on the bed but landed on my face and clawed the everliving shit out of it. Thankfully, I have a great personality.
Thanks to Chachoregard, who once ninjad a guy in the face for selling him faulty shurikens.
May 20 2008 Steve Ballmer Gets Egged In Hungary
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer got egged in Hungary by some student during a speech at Covinus University in Budapest. I'm kind of partial to the helicockter treatment myself, but that's just personal preference. Apparently the kid stands up, screams, "Hey you, Microsoft has stolen 45 million something something somethings from the Hungary people. Give that money back right now!" Then he lets the eggs fly (with absolutely no accuracy). What in the freaking hell is the matter with that kid? First off, he didn't even hit him. And secondly, egging someone is immature and I can't believe a college student would resort to something so juvenile. Grow up and buy some stink bombs already.
Another slow motion video after the jump.
Feb 12 2008 Computer Mug Is Surprisingly Conceptual
Jason Farsai has conceptualized the Yuno PC, which is a computer in a coffee mug. He envisions the device having all the necessary morning computer applications: weather, time, traffic, stock prices, comic strips, and email. You can also upload your own screensaver images and just stare blankly at your coffee mug until 11 am like I do. Neat I guess, but completely impractical. Oh, and there's no mention of it being dishwasher safe, so that's, uh, a pretty major design flaw as far as I'm concerned. You got me, I only posted this because of those delicious looking griddle cakes in the picture. Huh? What do you mean it's an English muffin? Are you sure? Shit, well I'd still pound those hash browns.
Several more pictures after the jump.
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Jan 14 2008 Egg Fryers Shape Your Eggs Into Weapons
Urban Trends has designed a line of egg fryers that shape your morning eggs into weapons of minimal destruction. Now I'm not really sure why they decided on gun molds instead of barnyard animals, but I think it had something to do with those anti-drug commercials they used to play during my childhood. You know, the one with the egg that was supposed to be your brain. They'd toss it into a frying pan, and that was supposed to be your brain on drugs. Damn I couldn't wait to get my hands on drugs after seeing those commercials. Raw eggs are disgusting, but a fried egg -- delicious. Unfortunately the resulting drug abuse has made my brain a highly sought after treat for zombies.
Your loved one will finally get the hint with the gun-shaped egg maker [dvice]
