Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm
2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).
"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."
Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.
Jul 30 2009 Cocoa & The Sandersens: Strike 3, Yer Out!
NOTE: VIDEO BEST WATCHED WITH CANDY AND ICE CREAM BUT NOT POP-TARTS.
I honestly didn't know what a strike out was until I watched this, and I think it's pretty safe to say I've been living my life in vain. This video is so jam packed with important life lessons that I'm thinking about writing a book about it. It's gonna be called, 'Striking Out: How Not To Give A Dang'. Yeah, and it's gonna be a bestseller in both self help AND cookbooks because I'm going to include a couple of my favorite stoned recipes like 'Skittles' and 'Ice Cream Right Out Of The Box'. So, Cocoa, what do you say -- me, you, a palace made of candy? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
May 12 2009 Denny's: Now With More Dinosaurs, Drugs
This is a new commercial for Denny's advertising how cool it is to get all high out of your mind and then go eat breakfast at 4am -- but not before dropping a handful of acid in the parking lot. I mean, Jesus, the unicorn can't even chew his fries. And while I did appreciate the inclusion of a dinosaur, this commercial is still sending the wrong message to today's youth. One about breakfast being the most important meal of the day. IT'S LUNCH, PEOPLE.
Thanks to Verity, who knows how much I love dinosaurs. But not how much I love leprechauns. *wink* Just kidding, those little bastards are creeeeepy.
May 1 2009 iSnort App: All The Cool Kids Are Doing It
iSnort is a bootleg iPhone app that makes it appear as though you're cutting up coke and snorting it. Unfortunately, it's not even a real app. It's just a video that you have to choreograph your movements to (the iPhone's touchscreen doesn't respond to heavily abused credit cards or rolled up bills). That said, you can pick it up for £5 at their website. Or, put that money towards some real nose candy. Yeah, I'm talking that good shit. Model airplane glue.
TheiSnort
via
Perfect Cocaine Simulator Will Never Make It to the iPhone App Store [gizmodo]
Thanks to prestoner, who will be building his first gravity bong in no time. *sniff* They grow up so fast.
Apr 26 2009 Princess Leia Pulled Over For Drunk Driving
This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the story besides it's of a bunch of Princess Leias having a pillow fight and God has bestowed me with the power of awesomeness. But no need to thank me folks, I did it for myself. So anyway, Darth Vader's daughter just got pulled over for drunk driving.
Police found the mother-of-two Dodds, 28, dressed in white robes with plaited hair, while her husband was wearing robes. "She was dressed as Princess Leia and her husband as Luke Skywalker and they found it was a bit embarrassing to walk the streets of Murton dressed in their costumes.
When breathalysed she was more than twice over the legal drink driving limit.Magistrates banned Dodds from driving for 20 months, fined her £255 and ordered her to pay £60 in costs and a £15 victim surcharge.
Dear. Mrs Dodds (aka the woman who likes to get drunk and dress as Princess Leia, aka the woman of my dreams),
Firstly: if you were my girl, you would never have to drive drunk, because I have droids for that shit. Secondly: I can't believe your husband (aka Luke Failwalker) didn't even have the decency to Force choke and/or mind trick the arresting officer. You, princess, are running with the wrong Jedi. Marry Me?
Yours,
Obi Won Geekologie
Woman dressed as Princess Leia of Star Wars stopped for drink driving [telegraph]
Thanks to Ross, who once ran over his neighbor's cat on a speeder bike but it was okay because speeder bikes float.
Apr 21 2009 Whee: Getting High With The God Of Thunder
A day late (the story of my life), comes an animated gif of Thor getting all high on some beaster-looking weed. It's all good too, since, as you may recall from your Germanic mythology course in college, Thor is Canadian. *thunder rumbling* Eh?
Thanks to Alex, who once got high with Poseidon in an octopus' garden in the shade. Cool.
Apr 20 2009 Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir
I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, that glass has a tumor!", and you're right, it kind of does. The Glass Tank is a conceptual wine receptacle that keeps your glass topped off at a constant level. That way you get drunk with while you're, you know, I've been drinking. Now I know -- 4.20's supposed to be about smoking, but, and it might just be the booze talking -- but I love booze. Also, this is a stupid idea. I already have a wine glass with built in receptacle -- it's called the box. Or, if I feel like being Mr. Fancy Pants, the bottle. Class: you can't spell Geekologie Writer without it.
Hit the jump for one more shot of how it works (air replaces wine in reservoir as you drink).
Continue Reading " Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir "
Apr 16 2009 Pure Awesome: Nitrous Oxide Game Boy
I know what you're thinking, and no, the PediSedate isn't an unmarked van and bandanna soaked in chloroform. It's a Game Boy hooked up to a nitrous oxide tank! Designed to distract kids while you gas them at the doctor's/dentist's office, it might just be the best invention ever. Of course, I always loved getting gassed. So much that the dentist actually caught me trying to wheel a nitrous tank out to my mom's car once. That was Monday. I have two fingers.
Game Boy Oddities - The PediSedate [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Raúl, who always chose the bubble-gum nose when getting gassed. Nice, I was a cherry guy.
Mar 21 2009 Waveform Bracelets Are A Clever Idea
The Sound Advice Project was designed to help parents keep their kids off drugs by giving them a reminder of how much they're loved and how bad drugs are. In this case, it's a bracelet that says, in waveform, something like "you're way too cool for drugs", or, "drugs will make your penis shrink". Thankfully, for $18 you can go to the website and record whatever message you want. I decided to made one for myself with one of my favorite inspirational messages from the bible, "When in doubt, PEW PEW PEW". *WHA-PISSSH!* Whoa, what was that? You getting bible-belted, son!
Feb 12 2009 Good Times: David After The Divorce
Remember David, the little kid who was high as a kite after going to the dentist? Well this is him 20 years later after going to get a divorce. The video was made by a couple members of the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. I thought it was humorous, but possibly only because I can relate. And now David, I'd like to share with you a passage from my memoir, The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger, that may help you through this troubled period.
"...and in my hour of darkness I approached The Superficial Writer with my problems. Prophetically, he spoke, "Lap dances. As many as you can get before they catch on." Then, stuffing a stack of photocopied $20's in my jacket pocket, he sent me on my way.
Later that night, as I entered The Cat Box for the first time, I felt a lightness about me -- as if a giantweightbitch had been lifted from my shoulders..."
Like that? Well stay tuned for Chapter 6: Getting Tested. The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger hits book shelves this fall.
If that video wasn't your cup of tea hit the jump for the David After The Dentist Remix as well as Chad Vader After The Dentist.
Nov 26 2008 College Students Play Real-Life Quidditch
This is a video about college students playing a non-wizard version of Quidditch. You know, that game in Harry Potter where the players fly around with broomsticks up their asses. Unsurprisingly, it's taking college campuses by storm (just like Humans vs. Zombies!).
The earthbound variation is called Muggle Quidditch. The sport originated in 2005 when a student at Middlebury College adapted the game for the nonmagical world. Its popularity quickly spread, and today more than 150 colleges throughout the United States have Quidditch teams.
As in the fictional game, each Muggle Quidditch team has seven players: three chasers, two beaters, a keeper, and a seeker. Chasers score points by throwing a quaffle, or volleyball, through one of three hoops (worth 10 points) while trying to avoid bludgers, or dodgeballs, that are thrown by beaters. (If chasers are hit by a bludger, they must drop the quaffle.) The keeper's job is to protect the three goalposts, while the seeker must capture the snitch -- a sock stuffed with tennis balls carried by a person (typically a cross-country runner) dressed in gold. Capturing the snitch nets an additional 30 points and ends the game.
You know, different strokes for different folks. I spent my college career drinking and doing drugs, but Quidditch sounds fun too. And by fun I mean I was thankfully never violated by a broomstick in college. That came later. And splintery.
Not Harry Potter? Not a Problem [butoday]
Thanks to Brett and Hailey, who aren't allowed to play because they can fly.
