Jun 29 2009 I'm In Love
I have never felt feelings like this before. Marry me?
Hit the jump for a couple more of the before and after.
Jun 4 2009 Boom Drink: How To Make Exploding Cocktails
You just freeze a mint flavored Mento in an ice cube and then make a drink for a friend (read: enemy). Any artificially sweetened soda should work, but preferably something darker so the frozen Mento isn't so obvious. Then, a few minutes later when the Mento is exposed to the soda, BOOOSH! Alternatively, garnish your friend's glass with a live hand grenade.
Mix an Exploding Drink [wired]
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who once bit a Snap-N-Pop to make it explode because she's hardcore.
Apr 26 2009 Princess Leia Pulled Over For Drunk Driving
This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the story besides it's of a bunch of Princess Leias having a pillow fight and God has bestowed me with the power of awesomeness. But no need to thank me folks, I did it for myself. So anyway, Darth Vader's daughter just got pulled over for drunk driving.
Police found the mother-of-two Dodds, 28, dressed in white robes with plaited hair, while her husband was wearing robes. "She was dressed as Princess Leia and her husband as Luke Skywalker and they found it was a bit embarrassing to walk the streets of Murton dressed in their costumes.
When breathalysed she was more than twice over the legal drink driving limit.Magistrates banned Dodds from driving for 20 months, fined her £255 and ordered her to pay £60 in costs and a £15 victim surcharge.
Dear. Mrs Dodds (aka the woman who likes to get drunk and dress as Princess Leia, aka the woman of my dreams),
Firstly: if you were my girl, you would never have to drive drunk, because I have droids for that shit. Secondly: I can't believe your husband (aka Luke Failwalker) didn't even have the decency to Force choke and/or mind trick the arresting officer. You, princess, are running with the wrong Jedi. Marry Me?
Yours,
Obi Won Geekologie
Woman dressed as Princess Leia of Star Wars stopped for drink driving [telegraph]
Thanks to Ross, who once ran over his neighbor's cat on a speeder bike but it was okay because speeder bikes float.
Apr 21 2009 Cocktails For The Trekkie Boozehound
Let's face it, even Trekkies like to get all crunk on spacejuice and get into Vulcan Death Grip fights at the bar. Completely understandable. These are only two of ten Star Trek inspired cocktails, so be sure to hit the jump to see eight more. Then make one. However, I was a little sad to see there was no Red Shot (with significantly increased chance of death). Or Khaaaaanikazi. Or 3 Buttery Nipples.
Also, you show me a bar that actually keeps figs in stock and I'll show you a guy whoring himself out for drinks. Ha, or you can tell The Superficial Writer yourself, whatever.
Hit the jump for the rest. You'd howl too if your figs were frozen. Anybody?
Jan 2 2009 D+Caf Strips Detect Amount Of Caffeine In Your Coffee, Ur+In Strips Coming Soon
Some people drink decaf coffee. These people, given normal coffee, will go apeshit, bouncing off the walls and breaking things. Given espresso, they will spontaneously human combust and create a black (coffee) hole that will smell like fresh roasted beans and suck many an oblivious barista into its odoriferous depths. That's why it's important they never drink regular coffee or a Red Bull. To keep the rest of the world safe from these people, somebody developed D+Caf strips.
D+caf test strips are simply little strips of paper coated with antibodies that tell if you a beverage is properly decaffeinated, turning up blue lines if it's got more than 20mg of caffeine per 6oz serving. Even modern decaffeination procedures can't remove every single trace of caffeine, but between 20 and 30 percent of coffee and tea drinks "contain unacceptably high levels of caffeine" according to the strip's maker, Silver Lakes Research.
A box of 20 strips costs $10 and I really wish they were Roof+e strips instead because the Superficial Writer keeps eyeing me salaciously and encouraging me to chug my Appletini.
D+Caf Detects If You're Drinking Real Coffee Instead of Decaf [gizmodo]
Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller
The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.
One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]
Dec 8 2008 Gun Booze Dispenser Just Makes Good Sense
Let's face it, guns and booze go together like trebuchets and LSD: they were made for each other. So the $22 Shots Gun Drink Dispenser comes as no surprise. You just jam the topper (complete with holster) on a bottle, pump the pump, and PEW PEW drinks to your hearts content. Load Bacardi 151 or everclear and a lighter and your gun magically transforms into a flamethrower! *PEW PEW* Whee! Oh -- *WHOOOOSH* Haha, my cubicle's on fire. MEDIC!
Shots Gun Drink Dispenser makes you the new Sheriff in town [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who never drinks without packing heat. And also, Mylanta. The dude drinks some pretty nasty shit.
Dec 3 2008 Out Of This World Deliciousness: Space Beer
Mmmm, space beer. It's the stuff my sci-fi fantasies are made of. Well, that, and the aquamarine breasts of alien chicks. Well now fantasy and reality collide -- with honest-to-God space beer (sort of)!
The beer will be made with barley -- to be harvested this weekend -- descended from seeds that spent five months in 2006 aboard the International Space Station.
Sapporo isn't planning to sell the special brew, at least for now, and hasn't decided how it will distribute the planned 100 bottles, Matsumura said.So far, scientists have not found any difference between space barley and the Earth-confined version, she said.
First of all, The Geekologie Writer clearly deserves a bottle. And secondly, have you tried the new beer on tap at the Mos Eisley Cantina? It's called PEW PEW Pilsner. BWAHAHHA HAHA! Han shot first! Whew *wiping tear* God I hate myself.
Japanese brewery to make beer from space barley [heraldtribune]
Thanks to Jumpin_J and Pat, who, for the tips, can each get a sip of my space brew. Backwash.
Aug 21 2008 Mega Man Energy Drink Coming Soon
It seems like every video game character out there wants his own damn energy drink these days. So it comes as no surprise that Mega Man (who actually looks like a little boy) in getting one to coincide with the release of Mega Man 9. At first glance the product looks like an energy cell, but a closer inspection reveals it's just a freaking can.
The drink will be called "Rockman E Can Drink" because it's coming out in Japan and Mega Man is called Rockman over there. The drink will cost ¥137, or about $1.25 a can. No word on what it tastes like, though.
Ha, that's easy -- if it's anything like the majority of other energy drinks, it'll taste like Dr. Wily's taint.
mega man energy drink helps you beat down robot masters [technabob]
Jul 30 2008 Drinking Buddy: Malaysian Pen-Tailed Shrew
Well folks, I've found myself a new drinking buddy. The Malaysian pen-tailed shrew subsists entirely on fermented nectar from the pertam palm plant, which can be as high as 3.8 percent alcohol.
A new study found that the tiny animal subsists on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer... Amazingly, though the tree shrews drink like fish, they don't seem to get drunk. The researchers, led by Frank Wiens of Germany's University of Bayreuth, videotaped regular nocturnal feeding sessions and followed the movements of radio-tagged tree shrews. Though they measured blood-alcohol concentrations in the animals higher than those in humans with similarly high alcohol intake, the tree shrews showed no signs of intoxication.
Well folks, no sense hiding it now -- I had sex with a shrew. The pen-tailed variety, dear reader, is my progeny.
Tiny tree shrew can drink you under the table [msnbc]
Thanks to Chad, the only man who's ever come close to beating my pen-tailed progeny in a drinking contest.
Jul 16 2008 Tetris Ice Cubes Keep Drinks Cold, Gamey
We've seen Tetris shelves, mirrors, decals, waffles, and even another set of ice cube trays, but here comes another. Because, well, I love Tetris and I love drinking. Both hold a very special place in my heart. A place I go when my wife starts blathering about the rough day she had at work and I'm trying to tune her out.
tetris + ice cubes = icetris [technabob]
Thanks Shawn and Mary, now lets play a game. It's called Drinktris, and we'll make up the rules as we go along. Rule 1: Drink. Rule 2: Something to do with Tetris. Oh, I've got it -- shapes. So we drink and call out shapes. I'll start. *gulp* Orange. Okay, your turn Shawn.
Apr 21 2008 LED Lemon Lights Up Drinks, Adds No Flavor
Drink a lot of hefeweizen? Like the flavor a lemon slice adds to your beer? If so this product isn't for you, because it's just a piece of molded plastic with an LED inside. It sits on the side of a glass and run $3.30 for a pack of three. They're guaranteed to make your next party a questionable one. You know what's not questionable though? Baby showers with lots of beer. I went to one this weekend and they were rocking Bass kegs and a roasted boar. It was awesome. There were a bunch of kids running around, and it really made me want to have one. Especially when a group of 4-year olds tackled an 8-year old and the littlest one started yelling "Kick him in the nutsack!" *wipes tear* So freaking cute.
Worthwhile picture I photoshopped together of what one of the wedges looks like in a drink, after the jump.
Continue Reading " LED Lemon Lights Up Drinks, Adds No Flavor "
Feb 11 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Chicken Holder Is Iffy
The Col-Pop is the brainchild of BBQ Chicken USA (a Korean BBQ franchise). They have over 3,500 stores worldwide, but they're just making their way to the states (they have a handful of stores in NY, NJ, and NC), so you may have to wait a bit until you get to experience the awesomeness that is the Col-Pop. Basically it's a cup insert that perches your chicken nuggets safely and conveniently above your beverage. As you can see from the schematic there, it's pretty simple. Almost as simple as the version I created, which is liquefied chicken soda. Not only is it convenient, you don't have to worry about anybody trying to steal your nuggets. You know, because they're liquid and taste like shit.
Jan 4 2008 Mug Displays The Way You Like Your Brew
The Drink Selector Mug ($24) is a receptacle for hot liquids that has three metal bands around it. The top band is turned to indicate if you prefer coffee or tea. The second band indicates your milk preference (breast, etc.), and the third your sugar. Now I don't know how things are done in other offices, but here I have to make my own damn coffee. Which is actually a good thing, because my coworkers don't really like me. The last time I did get a fellow employee to bring me a mug I'm pretty sure it was urinated in. Now call me crazy, but I like my coffee the same way I like my women -- with no penis involved. So I make it myself, sans dong. Okay, maybe just to stir in the milk.
Drink Selector Mug ensures a perfect brew, every time [dvice]
Dec 11 2007 Super Mario Energy Drink: Awesome!
Apparently there's a Super Mario energy drink out and I couldn't be happier about it. It's called Super Mario Bros Power Up! Energy Drink, which is a pretty awesome name, not to mention a great play on 'Power Ups'. It comes as an 8.4 oz can of blue-raspberry tasting deliciousness that's sure to have you bouncing off the walls and banging Princess Peach for hours. Unless it has some of that mushroom that Mario's holding in it. Which, based on his eyes, I'd say it does. In which case you've got to be careful with the stuff. The last time I ate a mushroom that looked like that I drove my girlfriend's car into a creek because a cow standing in the road told me to. It even knew my name, and I'd never met that cow before in my life. True story.
super mario power up! energy drink: just add vodka [technabob]
