Sure you could argue 17,000-miles isn't actually that close, but everything is relative. Compared to the rest of space that's like the distance between your privates and b-hole. DANGEROUSLY CLOSE. Also, I don't trust NASA's calculations enough to believe there's not a chance... / Continue →

This is an actual photograph taken by Hector Siliezar at the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza. As you can see, the Mayan's communication lasers have already begun sending signals to the mothership to destroy earth. Well -- it's been real, folks. Reaaaally disappointing. Of the... / Continue →

NUKEMAP is a Google Maps application created by Alex Wellerstein (who may or may yes live in a fallout bunker) to visualize the area affected if a nuclear bomb was dropped in your neighborhood. You just choose the size of the atomic bomb you want to drop (or a historical prese... / Continue →

Because humanity is determined to have an apocalypse this year one way or another, scientists have moved the nuclear doomsday clock forward a minute to 11:55. Quick -- we should probably make out while there's still time! "No way, you smell like booze." Yeah but you're uuuuu... / Continue →

Is that a 'life back' guarantee? That's right folks, ten days to Judgement Day. That's the highest you can count on two hands provided you weren't born with extra digits (I have a half-pinky so I can round-up to eleven!). Apparently some religious zealots have unraveled th... / Continue →

That's right folks, I'm calling it. Sometime on or before May 30th. The world may end in 2012, but it all starts in 2011. BOOM, movie concept. Get that made by fall -- I want Shia Laboof attached. If you get up any morning for the next few weeks, you'll be treated to the s... / Continue →

If it can tear a hole in space just imagine what it could do to an ass! Seen here (but not really because it doesn't exist yet) looking suspiciously like staring down the barrel of a Portal gun, a new ultra-superlaser capable of tearing the very fabric of space-time (and expos... / Continue →

THEY'RE CALLED DECEPTICONS FOR A REASON, MORONS. Basically what these two jerks did is program robots to play hide-and-seek, and for the hider to leave a false trail for the seeker to follow. Wonderful news, really. I couldn't be happier right now if my genitals were on fire... / Continue →

The latest in zombie apocalypse pie-charts, this one shows what you'll most likely be doing in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Not to brag or anything, but I'll almost certainly be in the little green pie-piece. Ooooor masturbating in my closet until I'm eaten. Things That... / Continue →

Note: There's a video of the robot in action after the jump but it's not for the faint of heart. Or butt. *squirt* Oh God. The Myon (rhymes with Cylon -- coincidence? I think not) is a humanoid robot (the worst kind) with modular body parts so if one gets torn off in battle... / Continue →