Nov 20 2009 For The Dapper Dog: Humunga Staches

The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber. One side's a ball, and the other is giant freaking mustache. So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions).

Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the other. Dogs naturally pick up the ball...which leaves the outrageously funny mustache sticking out! Dogs also love to hold the ball in their mouth, and shake the mustache back and forth!

Not a bad idea. Of course, my dog would just chew up the whole damn thing. You see, she's a bitch. And, based on those tits in the pic, so is Fido. Animal cruelty!

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Humunga Stache [likecool]

Thanks to Niki, whose bitch has a real mustache and moonlights as a carny.

Oct 28 2009 'Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken' Now To Be Known as 'WTF Ken'. Seriously, WTF KEN?

Yes, Barbie Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken is really happening. If you're interested, the dapper doucheberry will be available in April 2010 for $82. If you're not interested, congratulations: we can still be friends.

Cool sophistication in breezy Palm Beach! Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, Ken doll is ready for Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his little companion. Fashion designed exclusively for the Silkstone Barbie doll body. Includes Ken doll, jacket, pink polo shirt, white shoes, dog with leash, swim trunks and accessories, doll stand and certificate of authenticity. For the adult collector.

Oh, it's for the ADULT collector, what a relief. Because adult collectors aren't creepy as hell. Trust me, I knew one. I heard voices coming from the basement!

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Mattel Has Lost Their Minds [toplessrobot]

Thanks to Blastphemer, who is an adult doll collector, which is only moderately less creepy.

Oct 19 2009 Stop Laughing, Dog: Duck Hunt Tramp Stamp

This is Crystal. Crystal doesn't get much sun and has a Duck Hunt tramp stamp. Anybody else get the shivers when they see that dog? God, I hated it when he would laugh at me. Now I'm not saying I want to shoot him with my lightgun, but I would stab this chick and steal one of her kidneys. And by one I mean both. I have a drug addiction.

Duck Hunt Tramp Stamp Tattoo [bme]

Thanks to Alan, who was considering a Contra tramp stamp but then bailed at the last minute and got Metroid instead. I think it was the right decision.

Aug 27 2009 Sure He's Happy?: Enterprise Dog Costume

This is a custom canine USS Enterprise costume made out of cardboard and Bud Light cans. And I have to admit, Bud Light was a smart choice because of its superior drinkability. I'm serious, those things are so drinkable one time I guzzled a whole cooler full of them. There must have been at least 20. This was like an hour ago. Then I started cutting up this box and....holy shit that's my dog!

This dog goes where no dog has gone before [scifiwire]

Thanks to FDSY who made a Millennium Falcon costume for his cat but the cat ran away.

Aug 25 2009 Never Pick Up After Your Dog Again!

If you don't like picking up after your dog but are cool strapping a plastic bag to its ass, you're in luck. All thanks to the revolutionary Pootrap (I would have gone with Shitbag)!

An amazing new device that picks up after your dog without any hassles. Dog feces is extremely dangerous to people even if you pick it up. A residue is left over and can cause blindness, liver damage and death. The Pootrap solves these problems once and for all.

Are you serious? I mean, are you serious? They should at least be advertising how you don't have to bend over and not sensationalizing how dangerous dog waste is. And to prove a point (don't ask me what), I'm gonna pick up after my dog this afternoon with my bare hand.

Product Site

Thanks to Gargamel, who huffs Smurfs like nobody's business. Because it's not, so stop asking questions.

Aug 7 2009 Bark Translator Tells What Your Dog Wants

The Bowlingual Voice bark translator translates a dog's barks into words a human can understand. Words like, "I'm about to pee on the carpet!"

Developed by Takara Tomy, a Japanese toy company, this little gadget is supposed to translate your dog's feelings into words you can understand (while making your dog look like something out of a sci-fi movie). The gadget can tell you if your dog is sad, joyful, alert to danger, needy, happy or frustrated.

The £129 ($215) gadget can be placed on the dog's collar and includes a receiver which would translate the dogs' barks. The translated bark is displayed on the receiver which also plays in audio phrases like 'I feel sad' or 'Leave me alone', the toy will hit the Japanese market on August 27th.

I question how well the device actually works, but what's $215 to pretend you're your Doctor Dolittle? Read: buy a stethoscope and rectal thermometer and call it a day.

Bowlingual Voice Can Help You Talk To Your Dog! [trendsupdates]

Thanks to Trevor, who once had a conversation with a mounted dear head when they were both on peyote.

Aug 5 2009 Oh That's Cold: Laser Pointer And Dog Trick

This is a video of a guy performing a very special trick with his dog and a laser pointer. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, so I'll just say this: at least he didn't draw on the dude's face, because that would have been wrong (his shoes are, in fact, off). Also, not to start a heated debate in the comments about cropping a dog's ears, but I just did. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

How Not to Play With a Laser Pointer [gizmodo]

Thanks to Ryan, who once meant to bring a laser pointer to a presentation but accidentally grabbed his girlfriend's dildo instead. He pointed with it anyways.

Aug 4 2009 Goodbye Cruel World: Snuggies For Dogs

Snuggies for dogs. Or, "Why the Geekologie Writer had a staring match with an oncoming train and lost on purpose." $15 plus $8 shipping gets you a dog Snuggie, a recordable dog tag, and a complete loss of respect for your dog. Just pay additional shipping and you'll get two of each! Act now and I'll even knee you in the genitals -- FREE! And you will like it. YES SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? You may!

Product Site

Thanks to David, who loves his dog too much to do this to it. Right, David? RIGHT?!

Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food

Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!

Product Site

Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!

Jul 27 2009 Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold

Seen here with optional belly dancing belt, the Hand Leash from Alice Wang is just that: a leash with a mannequin hand that you hold. Also works great for cats (I'm looking at you, crazy cat lady). Now why nobody thought of this sooner is beyond me. I mean, it just makes sense. That said, I'm still holding out for a foot model. What? DON'T JUDGE ME.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold "

May 26 2009 Questionable: The Outdoor Dog Crap Flusher

The Powerloo is an outdoor dog crap flusher that ties into your home plumbing's sewer line and flushes special biodegradable bags of dog shit down the drain so you don't step in it while you're playing badminton with Bubbles and the gang. It costs $1000.

The Powerloo: pick it up, flush it down! Pick up your dog waste, hands free and flush it away with the Powerloo.

Did that make any sense? Does having a bag over your arm constitute hands free? Because if not, when was the last time you saw a bag of dog shit walk across the lawn and throw itself away? Exactly, that summer you tried PCP. The prosecution rests.

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Powerloo dog toilet won't teach Fido to flush [dvice]

May 18 2009 Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best?

This is a video of an experiment called 'Puppy Pulling Power' that helps determine which breed of dog women respond to most. Basically some guy attached a digital camera to a dog's collar that takes a picture every time it detects a smile. Or breasts. Quite possibly breasts. Whatever the case, I'm adopting everything the pound has to offer. Cats too. Ladies?

Hit the jump for some of the sweater yammier images, along with a graph showing the success of the various dogs, and a longer, 10 minute movie about the project.

Continue Reading " Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best? "

Apr 25 2009 Red Rover, Red Rover: Glowing Puppies

Created in the same fashion as the glowing kitties we posted way back in December, 2007, scientists have bred transgenic (expressing a gene from another, unrelated organism) puppies that glow red under UV light. I don't want one. Ain't no devil dog livin' in this house!

A team led by Byeong-Chun Lee of Seoul National University in South Korea created the dogs by cloning fibroblast cells that express a red fluorescent gene produced by sea anemones.

Greg Barsh, a geneticist at Stanford University who studies dogs as models of human disease, says creating a transgenic dog is "an important accomplishment", showing that cloning and transgenesis can be applied to a wide range of mammals.

"I do not know of specific situations where the ability to produce transgenic dogs represents an immediate experimental opportunity," Barsh adds. But transgenic dogs will give researchers another potential tool to understand disease.

Eh, I thought it was so you wouldn't kick your dog on the way to the kitchen for a midnight snack. I don't know about this whole disease bit. Which reminds me: any of you good at identifying rashes? I can send pics.

Hit the jump for what the puppies look like when they're not glowing. Except the middle one, the middle one isn't a glower.

Continue Reading " Red Rover, Red Rover: Glowing Puppies "

Apr 22 2009 Pet Cosplay Festival In Rio de Janeiro

Live near Rio de Janeiro (Brazil)? Do you like pets? Do you like pets dressed up as characters from comic books, video games, movies and cartoons? If so, you're in luck -- there's a pet cosplay festival this Sunday, April 26th! Per the Bablefishily translated page:

The event starts to the 9 Hours and is especially come back advantages fans of livens up and cachorros. E since the 20 better fancies will be awardees, capriche creativity. Valley everything: of Wolverine and Super Man, until Torch Human being (Or Canine Torch).

Beyond everything, if you to want to adopt one cãozinho, Ong ANIDA, through the campaign "Devoid Snout", will go to adopt and to receive donations for the abandoned animals from the city, of which it takes care of.

Sounds like a good time. And for a good cause too. So if you're in the area feel free to check it out and take some pictures. If they're not too blurry (and, quite frankly, even if they are) I'll post them so everyone can 'ooooh' and 'awwwwh' and 'that's so cruel' in harmony. Then we'll record an album and make millions.

Pet Cosplay, Rio de Janeiro [combustao]

Thanks to loyal Brazilian tipster Romeo, who may or may not attend the festival depending on whether his dog is out fighting crime that morning or not.

Apr 20 2009 Awesome: Dog Named Link Dressed As Link

Loyal Geekologie Reader Natalia sent me pictures of her dog, Link, dressed as our favorite video game adventurer of the same name. As you can see, his costume is complete with classic green tunic, sword and shield. And that, my friends, is awesome. So awesome, in fact, I've been inspired to rename my dog Zelda and make her a dress.

UPDATE: BAD IDEA -- BAD IDEA!

Hit the jump for two more.

Continue Reading " Awesome: Dog Named Link Dressed As Link "

Mar 18 2009 I've Seen It All Now: Extreme LED Sheep Art

This video has to be seen to be believed. Some guys strapped LED covered vests on sheep and then had the dogs herd them in specific patterns to create ridiculous art on a hillside in Wales. They even play a game of Pong and recreate the Mona Lisa using different colored LEDs on sheep in a pen. You just have to watch it to understand. Then, I think we'll all agree, sheep: not just for sex anymore.

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Sheep-Powered LED Display Lights Up Welsh Hillside [gizmodo]

Thanks to Grey and Kim, who have never gotten tender with sheep. OR SO THEY SAY!

Mar 6 2009 Delicious!: Bubble Buddy Blows Bacon Flavored Bubbles For Your Dog Or Child!

Sure bubble guns have existed forever, but not BACON flavored bubbles! That's right, now you can blow bacon, chicken, or peanut butter flavored bubbles for your favorite pooch or small child.

Dogs love these yummy scented bubbles. You can use these dog bubbles with the included bubble wands or with any bubble machine, bubble blower, bubble gun or bubble shooter for dogs. One thing's for sure: your dog is gonna love popping all those flavored bubbles! 100% non-toxic bubbles are and safe for dogs and kids.

The gun costs $9.25 and 2-packs of bubbles are $4.25. Cheap! Fun! Delicious! I couldn't find any nutritional info, but I'm sure it's safe to say that drinking a whole bottle constitutes a well balanced meal. *GLUG GLUG GLUG* Mmmm, bacon-y. *BURP* Oooh -- just as delicious coming back up! WHEE, BUBBLES!

Product Site

Thanks to Alex, who marinated a Bacon Explosion in bacon bubbles and swears it was delicious.

Mar 2 2009 Bought It!: Dogs Licking your iPhone Clean

iClean is a 99¢ iPhone/iPod Touch application that makes it look like a dog is lick-cleaning your screen from the inside out. How precious! Currently there are only three lickers available, but more are promised in future updates. I just bought it! Best 99¢ I've ever spent. Well, except for the time I put $1 in a vending machine and got two bags of Doritos. There was a Cool Ranch hanger!

iClean Brings Puppy Lick Fest To Your iPhone [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Seth, who promises to make a human version soon. I can hardly wait! No thanks.

Mar 1 2009 Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog

This is a video of Bizkit the sleepwalking dog. You should watch it, it's funny and sad at the same time. SPOILER ALERT: The dog sleepwalks into the wall. I originally thought it was cruel, but then watched the rest of the user's videos and they film the dog all the time, so I don't think they knew it would run into the wall. That said, I'm stealing Bizkit and starting a circus. DOOT DOOT DOODLE DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOOT. Cotton candy makes my clothes come off!

Hit the jump for a couple other videos of Bizkit, including one of some wicked sleep-standing action.

Continue Reading " Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog "

Feb 25 2009 Sony Rolly Conducts AIBO Robotic Dog Army

I have no idea what I'm watching, but I'll tell you one thing: I don't like the look of it. This red sore on my palm either. And I don't even play video games! What are you trying to insinuate? That sock is a liar!

Youtube

Thanks to Bro_mole, who is ready to stomp those little bastards as soon as they try to transform and roll out.