Feb 12 2009 Good Times: David After The Divorce
Remember David, the little kid who was high as a kite after going to the dentist? Well this is him 20 years later after going to get a divorce. The video was made by a couple members of the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. I thought it was humorous, but possibly only because I can relate. And now David, I'd like to share with you a passage from my memoir, The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger, that may help you through this troubled period.
"...and in my hour of darkness I approached The Superficial Writer with my problems. Prophetically, he spoke, "Lap dances. As many as you can get before they catch on." Then, stuffing a stack of photocopied $20's in my jacket pocket, he sent me on my way.
Later that night, as I entered The Cat Box for the first time, I felt a lightness about me -- as if a giantweightbitch had been lifted from my shoulders..."
Like that? Well stay tuned for Chapter 6: Getting Tested. The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger hits book shelves this fall.
If that video wasn't your cup of tea hit the jump for the David After The Dentist Remix as well as Chad Vader After The Dentist.
Jan 9 2009 Wife Cheats On Husband, They Separate, Man Demands Return Of Kidney Or Compensation
Doctor Richard Batista married his wife Dawnell in 1990 and donated a kidney to save her life in 2001. Since then, the whore of a hobag cheated on him and filed for divorce. And now Richard, like any normal person, wants his freaking kidney back (or $1.5 million in compensation).
He told reporters at his lawyer's office in Long Island, New York, that going public was a last resort.
"There is no deeper pain that you can ever express than betrayal from somebody who you love and devoted your life to," he said.But divorce lawyers say a donated organ is not a marital asset to be divided.
Wow, I feel you Richard. And as a man who's going through a divorce himself, I've got to say: thank God I never gave the bitch an organ. Or a kid. Haha, I'm free!
Divorce man 'wants kidney back' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Pat and Jennaiii, who know the only organ you should ever give your wife isn't internal. Unless you've been swimming for a long time in cold water, in which case, hey, it happens to me too.
Nov 18 2008 Couple Divorces After Husband Is Caught Banging Virtual Prostitute In Second Life
In a story that reminds me of this one, a couple is getting divorced after a wife caught the husband banging a virtual hooker in Second Life. Jesus, this shit is pathetic.
Amy Taylor, 28, said she had caught husband David Pollard, 40, having sex with an animated woman. The couple, who met in an Internet chatroom in 2003, are now separated.
"I went mad -- I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done," Taylor told the Western Morning News. "It may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over."The couple's real-life wedding in 2005 was eclipsed by a fairy tale ceremony held within Second Life.
Fairy tale wedding ceremony in Second Life, beautiful. But here comes the kicker -- wait for it, wait for it.
Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.
BWHA HAAH AHA HAH HAHAA! Dreams really do come true!
Second Life affair ends in divorce [cnn]
Thanks to Allegro, Curtis, and Ryan, who have never cheated on their significant others because they aren't giant sacks of shit. Ladies?
