Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney
No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.
Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.
"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.
Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!
Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.
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Aug 31 2009 Disney To Acquire Marvel For $4 Billion
Mickey Mouse, in a power move to impress his ratty love interest Minnie, has decided to buy up Marvel Comics for a staggering $4 billion. With the sale come all the right's to Marvel's cache of over 5,000 characters. FIVE THOUSAND!
We believe that adding Marvel to Disney's unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation," Disney president and chief executive Robert Iger said.
"We are pleased to bring this talent and these great assets to Disney.""Disney is the perfect home for Marvel's fantastic library of characters given its proven ability to expand content creation and licensing businesses," said Marvel chief executive Ike Perlmutter.
I mean, way to go and all, Disney, but this was a pretty foolish business decision if you ask me. What in the hell are you gonna do with 5,000 Marvel characters? You should have just bought the 30 cool ones.
Disney to buy Marvel in $4bn deal [bbcnews]
Thanks to Reverend Faux, Lomig, Jason, Aaron, Lauren, Cade, A Girl Named Michael, draw and jawn, who have all puked on different Disney rides, including It's A Small World (it was Jason!).
Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut
This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?
Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!
Jul 22 2009 Wrong: Darth Vader Dancing To MC Hammer
Adding more delicious gasoline to my 'must sue Disney' fire, here's Darth Vader and a few stormtroopers dancing to MC Hammer's 'You Can't Touch This' at the Star Wars Weekends event at one of the theme parks. It pretty much desecrated my entire childhood in 47 seconds. And did anybody else feel the move Darth performed at 0:13 was a little inappropriate for children? Because I felt awkward and I'm just laying in bed watching this on Youtube.
Thanks to Adam, Mindy and Mark, who can touch this. Go on, don't be afraid.
Jul 15 2009 That's It, Disney -- Prepare To Be Sued!
Typically I don't post movie posters because that's IWatchStuff's job, but I'm making an exception in this case because DISNEY STOLE GEEKOLOGIE'S TAGLINE. You think you can just change "awesome" to "guinea pigs" (which, incidentally are a synonym for awesome) and get away with it? THINK AGAIN, YOU DIRTY RODENT! Now, which one of you wants to call Disney and pretend to be a lawyer? Somebody with a deep voice.
G-FORCE movie poster [disneydreaming]
Thanks to Ben, who pleads guilty to dead sexiness.
Jun 16 2009 When The Fairy Tale Ends, Real Life Begins: A Gallery Of Fallen Princesses
This is a gallery of princesses from fairy tales living in current times. All the pictures were taken by photographer Dina Goldstein, and, as you will see, are none too joyful. Which is exactly why I guarantee all of my lovers a horrible time right from the start. THERE WILL BE NO HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Just like making love with a rocketpack on -- in the end, you will get burned.
Hit the jump to see the rest, then the link to see them in higher res or if you can't figure out which fairy tale they're from.
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May 5 2009 Hmm: Star Wars Weekends Advertisments
Star Wars Weekends are Star Wars themed weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios theme park. Here at Geekologie we've already seen several examples of the perversion that goes on there. Well, these are the posters advertising Star Wars Weekends 2009, which, I think we can all agree, are in surprisingly poor taste. Look -- you see how that woman is clutching her purse? Racist.
Hit the jump for three more, all of which contain shocking discriminatory undertones.
Mar 2 2009 Questionable Disney Star Wars Characters
Star Wars Weekends have been a huge hit at the Disney theme parks, and to celebrate the desecration of my childhood comes a limited edition of ridiculous looking Disney characters dressed as Star Wars ones. There's Don Solo in carbonite, a lanky Goofbacca, Mick Skywalker, and highly inappropriate Slave Girl Minnie.
A limited series of 600 statues of each of the figures will retail for $195 each. 500 sets will be available at Disney's Hollywood Studios, while the other 100 will be available at Disneyland. The figures will not be available until around the second week in June, so it looks like they'll appear just in time for the final weekend of Star Wars Weekends.
Wow, I know I'm just itching to get my hands on a Slave Girl Minnie. WTF? Disney, what the hell are you trying to teach our kids? Mommy, I want to be a slave -- just like Minnie! BOOM -- ten years later she's dancing the Sarlacc feeding shift on some slimeball's sail barge.
Hit the jump for a picture of the other two.
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Jan 16 2009 Optimouse Prime: The Mickey Transformer
Apparently this Mickey Mouse-Transformer mashup was on display at this week's Tokyo Toy Forum and is being manufactured for sale late next month. The morphing mouse will set you back about 40 pieces of cheese and is perfect for both Disney and Transformer fans. Plus, if you know somebody who's both, you can count it as both their birthday AND Christmas presents. Sure that would make you a giant cheapskate, but who cares, I already saw you taking extra hot sauce packets from Taco Bell. Haha, you thought I didn't notice, did you, you little cheapskate?*
*Bring me some Fire.
DeceptaToon: Mickey Mouse Transformer debuts in Japan [dvice]
Thanks to Riche-con-carnie, who would probably taste great with a little extra hotsauce.
