Mar 5 2009 It'll Get You Drunk!: The McNuggitini *HORF*

The McNuggitini is a cocktail inspired by the deliciousness that is a McDonald's (all clay) milkshake and Chicken McNuggets (which do constitute an emergency).

Ingredients:

2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don't tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee).

My goodness that sounds....puke in my mouth-y. I do like vodka though. But I only take it ultra-neat. I'm talking straight to the vein, folks -- mainlining! ALL ABOARD THE PASS-OUT EXPRESS, NEXT STOP: BATHROOM FLOOR. CHOO CHOO!

Hit the link if you want to see a pictorial of the McNuggitini experience featuring Alie and Georgia.

In Which Georgia Gives You The McNuggetini [thisrecording]

Thanks to Tank and Bronson, who, not to be outdone, invented the Fillet O' Fishtini.

Feb 25 2009 Excessive Gaming Can Cause Skin Sores

That's right folks, too much gaming can give you the stink-palm, according to a recent article in the British Journal of Dermatology. Of course, the disorder (Playstation palmar hidradenitis) may be based entirely on the single case of a 12-year old girl.

Doctors who examined her at the Geneva University Hospital concluded she had a condition known as 'idiopathic eccrine hidradenitis', a skin disorder that generally causes red, sore lumps on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.

The doctors suspect that the problem was caused by tight and continuous grasping of the console's hand-grips, and repeated pushing of the buttons, alongside sweating caused by the tension of the game.

The unsightly lumps went away after 10 days of gaming abstinence. Now listen folks: if reddened palms are the only negative effect of your excessive gaming, be thankful. After all, you've still got your social life, right? Right?

Game consoles 'cause skin sores' [bbcnews]

Thanks to Shelley, Becky, JMR and Tank, who have no fear of developing Playstation palmar hidradenitis because they only play XBox.

Oct 3 2008 Gamer Grub: Because WoW Can't Wait

Gamer Grubs are meal replacement snacks specially designed with the sedentary gamer in mind.

In flavors like Action Pizza, Racing Wasabi, Strategy Chocolate and Sports PB&J, the snacks are not only fortified with vitamins and minerals, but are specially engineered to be crumb and grease free, protecting your keyboard from its normal all-it-can-eat junk food buffet.

Mmmm, they sound yummy, don't they? No, no they freaking don't. Call me old fashioned, but what the hell's the matter with the classic Mountain Dew/Cheetos combination? Nothing, that's what. Seriously, who cares if your penis turns orange?

Gamer Grub: Because 'Food' Takes Too Long to Chew [gizmodo]

Sep 23 2008 Cribs: Geekologie Writer Edition

I guess things got a little out of hand.

Hit the jump for more of the disgustingness, as well as a link to a whole gallery.

Continue Reading " Cribs: Geekologie Writer Edition "

May 27 2008 Unacceptable: This Freaking Keyboard

Wow, and I thought my roommate's Cheeto and pube keyboard was bad. He's got nothing on this guy. It looks like he's trying to burn his house down. Hrrm, let's dive deeper into the mind of the psychopath behind this epic grossness by analyzing the picture.

Evidence: He likes smoking. A lot. And Lucky Strikes too. He often forgets about his burning cigarettes and/or passes out at the desk.
Analysis: Heroin addict.

Evidence: Package of Pepcid Duo.
Analysis: Suffers from heartburn.

Evidence: Two uneaten baked potatoes, still wrapped in aluminum foil.
Analysis: Likes sour cream.

Evidence: Bottle of Gordon's gin just out of frame on the far right.
Analysis: Wait a minute -- that's my keyboard! Damn I have womanly hands.

Yummy! [geekarmy]

Thanks Shawn, you can have one of the potatoes if you want

Apr 8 2008 Bleeehhh!: You Don't Even Want To Know

Okay, since the baby chocolates turned out to be a hoax, submitter beefytee decided to really ramp up the creepy, disturbing factor to an 11 with this tip. If you've recently eaten lunch or are about to, save reading it for later.

Placenta 10000 is a jelly drink. With placenta. Pig placenta. 10,000 mg worth (hence the name). I just puked in my mouth. Now it's dribbling out onto the keyboard.

Placenta is said to have regenerative properties, especially concerning beauty, and can help with dieting as well. At about $8 per drink, it's expensive, but Japanese aren't exactly known for sacrificing their health and looks for a couple of bucks either.

If 10,000 mg/serving just doesn't cut it for your placenta-loving pallet, they have a Placenta 400,000 concentrate (on the left in the picture) so you can make...Ms. Piggy... bleeeehhhh!!...cocktails.

Placenta 10000 jelly drink is FOSHU for beauty [cscout]

Thanks to beefytee and his incredible steak shirt for the tip

Feb 7 2008 Stink Breath Detector Gives It To You Straight

For $10 you can pick up a Halitosis Detector that lets you know if you have funk breath or not. Because you can't always trust the 'breathe into your hand and sniff' method. The unit has a little LCD face that changes based on the severity of your breath. If the little guy screams "oh shit!" and the device catches fire it's time for a whole tin of Altoids. God this reminds me of a professor I had a few years back (who I've mentioned before). She had the rankest damn breath on the planet. You know how people walk their dogs and use a bag to pick up after them? Yeah, well it was like her lunch bag got switched with one of those and she ate the contents anyways. And if you think I'm joking you can ask my buddy -- he had to be hospitalized after going to her office hours one afternoon.

Halitosis Detector - Do You Smell Something? [ohgizmo]