Feb 2 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Zombie Cake
Geekologie reader Kristen went and made her boyfriend a zombie cake. That was nice of you, Kristen.
The hand was crafted out of newspaper, paper mache and tape. The cake is all chocolate with Oreo crumbles to resemble dirt. My boyfriend's name is Jonathan and he's studying Animation. He keeps the hand at the studio on his desk.
I call the ring finger! Mmmm, papery. Fiber, bitches, what?
Hit the jump for several more pictures, including one of the zombie trying to put the move on Jonathan.
Jan 27 2009 It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera?
This is a digital camera made out socks by Netta Amir. Unfortunately, it can only take really fuzzy(!) pictures and is kind of a pervert (foot fetish). Wanna make one yourself? Look under your computer desk -- balled up socks? Well wash them. Then stitch them together and, if you're anything like me, PRESTO -- you're bleeding. Ha, I wasn't supposed to put them on first. But they were so warm and fresh out of the dryer! Alright, let's try this again. Ah, there we go -- eight socks sewn together. Kind of looks like an octopus. Hmm, I guess there are actual skills involved. But not gloves -- save those for the video camera.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups, including a picture the camera took.
Continue Reading " It's A Sock, It's A Camera, It's A....Sockera? "
Sep 30 2008 Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It
This F*** The Rain Umbrella is made by Art Lebedev and lets mother nature know where to stick it. It's a real product and will set you back about $55. Although, personally, I like the rain. Like that Garbage song goes, "I'm only happy when it rains, I'm only happy when it's complicated." Okay, that last part was a lie. I hate complicated shit. Like math. Oh, an tyoping without l ookkning.
Hit the jump for an uncensored picture and what it looks like from the rain's point of view.
Continue Reading " Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It "
Aug 19 2008 World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge
The world's largest digger is a giant trencher built a couple years ago by German manufacturer Krupp. It took more than 5 years and $100 million to design and manufacture.
The machine is almost 95 meters (311 ft) high and 215 meters (705 ft) long which is just like almost 2.5 football fields in length with 45,500 tons in weight. Maximum digging speed is 10 meters (32 ft) per minute and it can move more than 76,000 cubic meters (~2,700,000 cubic ft) of coal, rock, and earth per day.
Wow, pretty impressive. You get two of these things working around the clock for a couple days and I could finally bury my girlfriend. Haha! No, but seriously honey, go to the gym.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the digging behemoth.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge "
Aug 5 2008 Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink
Well folks, it happened. Somebody went and named their energy drink after a slang term for a woman's nether region. Or a cat. The one that starts with p and ends with ussy. Yep. This is almost as bad as the German Poontang Juice.
(Our product) is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs.
The name Pussy shocks and demands attention - that's the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity.
Oh really? Well it looks like you may have settled for a little mediocrity yourself there, Pussy. Because I just concocted my own drink, and Assf*** is gonna take the energy supplement market by storm. From behind.
Hit the jump if you really want to see the can without the censor bar, and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink "
Jun 19 2008
Japan Sees Significant Increase In The Popularity Of Adult Geriatric Films
Apparently business is booming for makers of geriatric boom-boom movies in Japan. Demand for such titles as "Grandparents Getting Down" and "Never Too Old To Bone" has nearly doubled in the past decade. TIME has a whole long article about it, but I thought I'd just include my favorite part, since it's quite possibly the awesomest thing I've ever read, ever.
Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that's because he's kept his part-time job -- as a porn star.Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name -- he prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years.
Dude, you've got your face plastered all over porno boxes (that's him in the picture). How the hell could they not know? The article even says your character has become his own brand. Surely someone has told them. I mean, you're a very distinguished gentleman, and that pipe is a dead give-away. Seriously though, you're my new hero. I wish my wife and family didn't know what I do for a living. They're embarrassed as hell.
Japan's Booming Sex Niche: Elder Porn [time] (nice long article if you're interested)
Thanks Alex and Allyson, but I don't know if I can forgive you
Jun 6 2008 Star Trek Rap Is Not Suitable For Work, Home
First, there were the Star Wars raps, and now, Star Trek. This is song called The U.S.S. Enterprise (is getting *insert slang term for a woman's nether-region here* tonight) by some group called Those Aren't Muskets. It's very NSFW because it's all about doing it and they say a bunch of dirty words. I didn't like it at first, but it got okay towards the end. Don't get me wrong -- I still got fired for watching it, but at least now I've got catchy lyrics about the captian's "log" stuck in my head.
Youtube (all the lyrics and a link to a downloadable mp3 here as well)
Thanks Shawn, I'll never view Star Trek: The Next Generation the same again
