Nov 13 2009 Yes...YES!: Tyrannosaurs Doing It Dino-style

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Except I'm not so much talking as fantasizing. God I'd love to be in the middle of those two. Ha -- I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich.

Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version)

Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.

Oct 8 2009 Raptor Jesus Went Extinct For Your Sins

First of all, we're not going there. I just thought this would be a good time to open up a discussion about what sort of dinosaur mount you think Jesus will ride into battle against the robots. My guess is a supersweet t-rex/raptor hybrid God made just for him. That can fly. Oooh -- and breath fire. Okay, basically a dragon. Puuuuuuuff!

Image [bme]

Thanks to tripcreator, who may or may not be a travel agent.

Oct 6 2009 Dino-Rider: Geekologie Writer Vs. The Volcano

Jesse Starr, to thank me for showcasing his incredible Christopher Walken ballpoint pen portrait, took my shoutout at the end of the post, which read, "Thanks Jesse, now how about one of me riding a dinosaur battling a volcano?", and made the dream a reality. This is only a part of the piece, click HERE to see it in all its high-res glory. OH HELL YES! TAKE THAT, VOLCANO. Joe ain't got shit on me!

As an added bonus, Jesse made a video of how he created the piece, which you can see after the jump. But, SPOILER ALERT: there's a picture of my ugly mug involved, so shy away.

Hit it for the video.

Continue Reading " Dino-Rider: Geekologie Writer Vs. The Volcano "

Oct 5 2009 Great News!: All Dinosaurs Go To Heaven

In wonderful news, at least according to this $18 t-shirt design from Threadless (where were you on this, CNN?!), all dinosaurs go to heaven. So yeah, maybe there's a merciful God after all. But, as a guy who wasn't ever planning on seeing the pearly gates: does the Catholic church still do that thing they used to where you pay to have your sins absolved? And, if so, can I borrow some money? Couple mill should do me.

Product Site

Thanks to Adam, who's trying his hardest to go to hell because he heard that's where all marsupials go. You're sick.

Sep 20 2009 Good Lookin': Kiasaurus Spotted At Walmart

So I got so drunk last night I woke up this morning and didn't even know I was the Geekologie Writer. Also, I think I pissed the bed but I'm too afraid to smell it. But that's neither here nor there, what is here is this Kia Stegosaurus spotted at Wal-Mart (three Wal-Mart automotive posts in a week, I blow goats love dinos!) I'll lay off them, I swear. Seriously though, is this not the most beautiful automobile you've ever seen? Because I would 115% rear-end the hell out of that sucker. IM IN UR TAILPIPE VOIDIN UR WARRANTY!

StegaCARous [peopleofwalmart]

Thanks to killerabbit, Johannes, Spikey DaPikey, N!9htR3@p3r, TabiCat, Greg and Lizzie, who all agree I would look good in this thing.

Sep 17 2009 Tyrannosaurus Rex Ancestor Was Smaller, More Manageable Size (Read: Swooooon)

Turns out the ferocious T-Rex (who, I would like to mention, is a brutal lover) actually started as a tinier, much more manageable size. OMG -- I'm going to grow them in my roommates closet! Also, weed.

About 125 million years ago a tiny version of Tyrannosaurus rex roamed what is now northeastern China. Tiny, that is, by T. rex standards -- you still wouldn't want to meet it face to face. Described by paleontologist Paul Sereno as "punk size," this early predator stood about nine feet tall.

It just seems small compared to the giant T. rex that evolved millions of years later and was as much as 100 times more massive.

"It really is the blueprint for the later (T. rex) dinosaurs," Sereno said, "it was a blueprint that was scalable."

The Geekologie Writer is currently seeking funding for a dinosaur farm. I will pay both interest and dividends on your investment. If interested, please send non-consecutive, unmarked bills in a Christmas card to:

Thanks, I look forward to taking your money and having sex with dinosaurs doing business with you.
Early, smaller version of T. rex discovered [googlenews]

Thanks to Amanda, Aaron, Kelly, Ryan, Henry, Brent, darkfall13, shawno, Jackie, Ian, Dianne, delinear, Priscilla, Nate, Lynz, CertifiedHobo, Dane, ech0z, Jose, Bethy and e., who I'm totally gonna solicit as babysitters once the operation is underway.

Sep 9 2009 3rd Most Complete T. Rex Skeleton For Sale

"Samson", who is being billed as the third most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (I would hit that like a meteor), will be on the auction block in Las Vegas October 3rd. Bidding is expected to top $6 million. Great. Anybody know how to rob a bank?

Experts say the 170 bones discovered about 17 years ago in South Dakota represent more than half the skeleton of a 40-foot-long, 7.5 ton dinosaur that lived 66 million years ago.

"This represents the pinnacle of paleontology," Lindgren told The Associated Press on Friday.

"Most of the major museums in the world have casts of T. rexes," as opposed to the real thing, he said. "Bidding on this T. rex is not going to be a gamble, it's going to be the opportunity of a lifetime to whoever gets it."

The more I think about it, the more I can't believe they're letting this happen. You can't just sell a dinosaur. I mean, dinosaurs are people too, you know? THEY'RE NOT LIKE PROSTITUTES. Also, I don't care if the auction is going down in Vegas, this is just horribly, horribly wrong (I'll give you $2,000 for one night alone. $600 for just the skull).

T. rex for sale: Dinosaur fossil on block in Vegas [yahoonews]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, are any of you by chance millionaires?

Aug 20 2009 RAWR!: The Best iPhone Dock Ever Made

This is an iPhone dock made out of a dinosaur toy. You can make one yourself if you want. You just cut a hole in a dinosaur toy, maybe pleasure yourself with it a couple times because I mean, it's there, and then stuff the docking wire in there. It is seriously the best iPhone dock you could possibly ever make and I don't want any lip about it. I mean it, what I say goes. I am the world's greatest lover. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL. No, I said special, not special needs.

iPhone Dinosaur Dock Is Bound To Rule Them All [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Byll and Aaron, who, RAWR! Okay, now I'm in the mood.

Aug 5 2009 Is This The Luckiest Man On Planet Earth?

What I wouldn't give to switch places with this guy for 30 minutes. 30 minutes!

Robotic Dinosaurs Ponder Man's Extinction [gizmodo]

Jul 23 2009 Quick, I Need A Shovel!: Some Dinosaurs May Have Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather

In steamy dinosaur news, paleontologists now believe that several different species of dinosaur may have sought refuge underground in cold weather.

The world's oldest known dinosaur burrow, recently discovered on the southeast coast of Australia, suggests that some dinos went underground to escape extreme weather.

The burrow is strikingly similar to another one found in Montana in 2005, which held the remains of a 96-million-year-old dinosaur family.

"Right now burrowing dinosaurs might look like an exception to the rule," he said. "But I wouldn't be surprised if more species [dug burrows]. Ten years from now it might be considered commonplace."

Now I'm not saying I just dug a hole to China trying to find a hibernating dinosaur, but I am riding in a rickshaw and we did just hit a flying cat.

Dinos Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather [neatorama]

Thanks to Matt, who is training one of those truffle-sniffing pigs to find dinosaur burrows.

May 3 2009 Dinosaur 'Blood' Extracted From Fossils

And I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna be Jurassic Parking it before you can say, "Geekologie Writer, are you sure you want to go into the raptor pen?" To which I will reply, "oh I'm sure. I'm sure".

A dinosaur bone buried for 80 million years has yielded a mix of proteins and microstructures resembling cells.

[Scientists] report recovering not just collagen - which conveys little evolutionary information because it is the same in almost all animals - but also haemoglobin, elastin and laminin, as well as cell-like structures resembling blood and bone cells. The proteins should reveal more about dinosaur evolution because they vary much more between species.

Haemoglobin baby! This particular fossil came from a hadrosaurid (duck-billed dinosaur), so I guess I'm boning them first. But hopefully they'll be able to score some blood from one of those flying bastards. 65 million years in the making, The Geekologie Writer joins the mile-high club.

First dino 'blood' extracted from ancient bone [newscientist]

Thanks to b00geyman, who better not be hiding under my bed tonight. And to Zmann966 and trishna87, who are celebrating an anniversary today. Happy anniversary guys!

Apr 16 2009 AT-AT X-Ray Reveals Shocking Interior

THEY'RE DINOSAURS! No wonder I was always so drawn to the lumbering giants so much. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who's lighted his saber during the Hoth battle scene, right? Right?

AT-AT Walker X-Rayed: It's a Dinosaur! [gizmodo]

Apr 15 2009 I Feel Funny: Best Dinosaur Tattoo EVER

Well earlier this week we saw the best dinosaur costume ever, and now, the best tattoo. I really love the realism. And by realism I mean how the guy is obviously sitting on one of the dinosaur's spines -- because that's how I ride.

This Is A Very Good Tattoo [holytaco]

Thanks to Chase is First, who, technically, has you all beat.

Apr 13 2009 Sexiest Dinosaur Costume EVER EVER EVER

My God what I wouldn't give to be that guy.

Best costume ever? You be the judge.*

*Unless you answered "no", in which case, you seriously suck at judging.

Picture [izismile]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who knew how inherently sexy this was as soon as he saw it. Spikey, we should start a club.

Apr 6 2009 Creep Factor 12: Learning Robot Child

What is this, an entry in the world's creepiest robot competition? Shockingly not. It's 'Child-robot with Biomimetic Body' (CB2), a learning robot and harbinger of death. Just look into those eyes -- can you feel him stabbing you in your sleep? I can, and it burns. You see, he's using a laser knife. Technology: robots have it.

As you might expect, the bot hasn't simply spent its past two years of existence terrifying the staff at Osaka University, it's actually been learning, and it's now apparently able to make use of its 51 air-powered motors to move itself through a room "quite smoothly" -- with a helping hand, of course. What's more, the researchers behind CB2 are now also starting to talk about some of their future projects, including a new "robo species" that they say will have learning abilities "somewhere between those of a human and other primate species such as the chimpanzee."

Osaka, Osaka, Osaka, when will you learn? I say cut the robotics and actually make a positive contribution to humanity instead of trying to destroy us. Need some ideas for areas of study? Good, I happen to have a list: 1. cloning dinosaurs 2. cloning the things that came after dinosaurs but weren't dinosaurs but were still really sexy, like woolly mammoths and shit. 3. a shrinking ray.

Well, I think you've got your work cut out for you, now get cracking. Also, I'd be happy to intern if you ever successfully clone anything. No, really, I insist.

CB2 "Child Robot" returns: smarter, creepier than ever [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, Paul, Crystal, Spoonman and Soop, who thought the robot was cute and are therefore dead to me.

Mar 30 2009 Students Attempt Dinosaur Theft, Fail

A group of students, celebrating the end of a school course, decided to steal a life-size triceratops replica from the Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester, England. Unfortunately, they didn't get very far before being stopped by the man. Which is a shame, because I would have bought it from them on the black market.

Deciding to relocate it in the middle of a roundabout as a joke, they set about lifting the 20ft long and 10ft tall plastic triceratops. But just as they carried it off above their heads into the night, they were stopped in their tracks by a policeman.

The revellers were ordered to take the dinosaur back immediately otherwise they would have been arrested for theft and criminal damage.

The Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester is packed full of life-sized reconstructions of dinosaurs, alongside skeletons and fossils.

The museum's website says the models 'beg to be touched by little hands - and that is encouraged, as is the handling of some of the dinosaur fossils.'

What the? *booking flight to England* Hello, Dinosaur Museum? Yes, I was wondering about the possibility of renting out your facility for a private party. Number of guests? One. Also, is there a pharmacy nearby? I'm gonna need some lube. Oooh, and boner pills.

Hit the jump for one more of the sexy shenanigans.

Continue Reading " Students Attempt Dinosaur Theft, Fail "

Mar 26 2009 When Dinos Are Packaged Together, I Win

Pfft, that ain't no fail. That, my friends, is a win. A big 'ol Geekologie Writer win. Now who wants to drive me to the toy store?

Packaging Fail [failblog]

Thanks to junkyard dog, who knows quality children's toys when he sees them.

Mar 24 2009 Own Your Own Velociraptor Trophy Mount

Remember the life-like Dilophosaurus mount that Geekologie Reader Josh made? Well he's at it again, this time with a 1:1 scale velociraptor head!

Up for auction is a full size replica of the Velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It measures 28 inches from the nose to base of the mount. It is made of high quality poly urethane resin that has been painted and sealed. The dinosaur is mounted to a wooden base that can be mounted to a wall like a trophy animal.

Josh is selling the head on eBay. Current bidding is at $200 with 6 days remaining. Now I really hope none of you outbid me, because this thing would look perfect mounted in my trophy room. And by 'trophy room' I obviously mean bedroom. And when I say 'bedroom' I'm talking the actual bed. And by bed I mean my ass. Sexy time!

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and another link to the auction.

Continue Reading " Own Your Own Velociraptor Trophy Mount "

Feb 25 2009 Yes Please!: Life-Size Dinosaur Bone Pillows

Sadly, they're not the sort of dinosaur bone pillows I was hoping for. But they'll have to do. Or, I'll have to do, rather.

Sayaka Yamamoto has designed replica of real dinosaur bones made from soft rubber-coated foam. Imagine yourself curling up on a T-Rex tail with a good book or sitting in front of your TV up on the horns of a Triceratops skull.

ZOMG -- sitting on the horns of a Triceratops!?!? Are they trying to make it all steamy in here? Because I can barely see past my glasses. Haha -- they're all filled with bourbon. Everything looks brown!

Life sized dinosaur bones is way cooler than pillows [newlaunches]

Thanks to eloy, who tricked me over to his house with the promise of a time machine but it turned out to just be a washing machine. I puked during the spin cycle.

Feb 23 2009 I've Seen It All Now: Dinosaurs And Robots

That's right folks, someone officially rule 34'ed dinosaurs banging robots. And, sometimes, robots banging dinosaurs, which makes me sick. Just go to www.dinosaursf***ingrobots.com (possibly NSFW) for pictures and video. It was disturbing. But really only when the dinosaurs were on the receiving end -- everything else was cool.

Dinosaursf***ingrobots

Thanks to Bro_mole, The Mighty Musnud, MoD, pst and bigjerm, who are even sicker than I initially imagined.