Oct 27 2009 No Beach For Me: 'Monster' Great White Almost Bites Smaller Great White In Half
This is a picture of a 10-foot great white shark that was almost bitten in half by what is believed to be a 20-foot great white -- just five feet short of Jaws and only seven short of my penis.
'It certainly opened up my eyes. I mean the shark that was caught is a substantial shark in itself,' says Jeff Krause of Queensland Fisheries.
The great white, the most dangerous creature in the sea, was still alive when hauled onto a boat near Deadman's Beach off north Stradbroke island.'Whatever attacked and took chunks out of this big shark must be massive,' said 19-year-old surfer Ashton Smith. 'I've heard about the big one that's lurking out there somewhere.
'We're all being very, very cautious.'
Listen, I'm not saying I'm the world's manliest man, but for a lifetime supply of Australian beer and the chance to ride in a kangaroo's pouch, I will kill this shark anyway you want. Provided you want me to throw dynamite from a helicopter.
Thanks to Ann, wes, Blastphemer, neo geo, Chris and salsa shark, who have all ridden sharks before and said it was a memorable experience.
Sep 30 2009 It's About Time!: A Dinosaur Serving Spoon
I can honestly say I've never wanted to have sex with a bowl of noodles so bad in my entire life. Well, that's not entirely true.
Thanks to Carolina, who only eats her pasta the way god intended: with Mario and Luigi.
Aug 24 2009 Wow, That's Ridiculous: This Pizza Cutter
Because rich people sometimes struggle to find new things to blow their money on, Frankie Flood makes custom, one-of-a-kind pizza cutters. No word on price or if they're dishwasher safe, but from the looks of this one, no. That thing will kill every dish in the washer and then start eying your cupboard. Look out, little Indian!
The most intense-looking pizza cutters ever? [dvice]
Thanks to Dan, who cuts pizza the way nature intended: with a rusty battle axe.
Jul 15 2009 VISA Card Users Charged $23 Quadrillion
Several people rocking VISA prepaid credit cards got a peculiar $23,148,855,308,184,500 charge this week when using their VISA BUXX cards. That's 23 quadrillion dollars. To put that figure in layman's terms, it's almost double what I'm suing Disney for.
In New Hampshire, Josh Muszynski said he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and when he later checked his account online found that he had been charged
In North Texas, Jon Seale saw the same 17-figure bill on his credit card statement, presumably for a meal July 13 at a restaurant owned by celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck.
Uh-oh -- I smell a Wolfgang Puck/big tobacco conspiracy. Rumor has it that dirty Austrian's been cooking with tommaco for years!
Visa card surprise: $23,148,855,308,184,500 [msnbc]
Thanks to Justin, Stephanie and debaser, who are now addicted to Wolfgang Puck brand pasta sauce.
Apr 9 2009 Time Appropriate: A Gallery Of Last Suppers
Just in time for Easter comes a gallery of last suppers, many of which with a geek twist to them. I posted a few of my favorites after the jump (including Popeye and Battlestar Galactica) but Popped Culture has 101 of them, so be sure to hit their link and see them all (in HQ to boot). And, speaking of last suppers: a small salad and two pieces of reheated pizza. Ha, I kid: two fifths of gin and a whole bear steak. Raw. It's an aphrodisiac you know. Like tiger penis, but boneless.
PUSH HIT IT REAL GOOD FOR THE REST.
Continue Reading " Time Appropriate: A Gallery Of Last Suppers "
Mar 31 2009 Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table
The PING-PONG Dining Table by designer Hunn Wai is a luxurious looking table fit for both eating and beating the old ball around after dinner.
PING-PONG Dining table harks back to the origins of table-tennis with its duality of both being a table fit for dining and playing on. What started off as impromptu after-dinner amusement mimicking tennis in an indoor environment for upper-class Victorians became an international phenomenon with rules and standards. This is an official-sized game table with a DuPont Corian surface CNC machine-routed with French Rococo patterns interjected with Ping-pong iconography filled with gold lacquer, supported by stately hand-lathed timber legs. In the middle, a long rectangular vase filled with dainty blossoms does double-duty as a game-net and a table floral arrangement.
I want it. I don't care how much it costs, I want it. I freaking love myself some table tennis. You think I'm kidding? I sleep with my favorite paddle at night. He has a name, and it's Spanky. What's that, Spanky -- I've been bad? Ooooh, [PRIVATE PRIVATE PRIVATE]. 30-love, Spanky, 30-LOOOOVE!! And I'm finished. Now, could you go tell one of your little athletic sock friends to come in here for a minute?
Hit the jump for several more of the opulence.
Continue Reading " Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table "
Jan 23 2009 Mmmm, I'd Eat Him: Windwaker Link Bento
Mmmm, bento: artsy AND delicious. Throw some Zelda up in the mix and, hello, side of lust! This particular box was made by anna the red, who was also responsible for some of the other ridiculous bento we've seen in the past.
I first thought of making Link on his boat, but there was too much blue... so I gave up. I love when Link raises his hand in the air and strikes a poise when finds an item, so I decided to make Toon Link in the forest, finding a piece of heart.
Freaking amazing -- it really looks too good to eat!
UPDATE, TWO WEEKS LATER: Probably should have, Link's getting hairy. And, oh God -- *HORF* musky.
Hit the jump for closeups.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, I'd Eat Him: Windwaker Link Bento "
Jan 20 2009 Admit It, You're Lazy: A Cup Noodle Machine
Why you'd need a vending machine for a product that only requires hot water and three minutes to be ready for consumption is beyond me. Yet, here it is, a Cup Noodle (I always thought it was Cup-O-Noodles) vending machine.
It's small enough to fit on a counter top, and includes a hot water thermos and storage for up to four Cup Noodle bowls with a dispenser. It even has an automatic timer that'll beep when three minutes is up and your food is ready to eat.
Jesus, it's called a microwave, folks. And who else has accidentally eaten part of the styrofoam cup while downing a Cup Noodle all drunk? Go ahead, admit it -- nothing to be ashamed of. HAHA, you freaking ate the cup! To your credit though, I wouldn't trust you with a fork either.
Nissin offers introverts compact cup noodle vending machines [tokyomango]
Thanks to Niki, who stopped eating Ramen in college because she got to look at some under a microscope and it looked too noodley.
Sep 17 2008 Marble Maze Table Looks Fun, Expensive
Remember when you were a kid and your parents wouldn't let you have dessert until you ate everything on your plate even though they convinced you it was rattlesnake and Rocky Mountain oysters (fried bull nads). Yeah, that sucked. But at least you would have had some entertainment if you ate on this Marbelous dinner table. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase (which my mom originated but was later stolen and altered by a popular rock band), "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your balls?"
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the table.
Sep 12 2008 The Latest Microsoft Ad With Bill And Jerry
This is Microsoft's latest (and longest, at 4:30) commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. I found it moderately entertaining. But what I really took away from the experience was this: if Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld ever stayed at my place, I'd rob those suckers blind. Or at least 20/100. That was a vision joke!
Thanks to Doug and Popadopolis, you can come stay at my place anytime. Just bring beer.
Jul 10 2008 Tie Napkins: Who Wears A Shirt To Dinner?
I typically eat alfresco, which for some might mean outdoors, but for me means butt-ass naked. I don't care if it's a 7-course dinner or a box of Oreos, I need to be comfortable. Well, for those formal tie-only affairs come these Dress For Dinner Napkins. As you can see, they're napkins with ties printed on them. They come in four tie patterns and a box of twenty will set you back $5.95. Not bad considering the money you'll save on dry cleaning bills. The only problem is, I'm having trouble finding a place to tuck them in. Hold on, I've got it. I'll just make a little incision here below the Adam's apple and...I'm bleeding. Wow, a lot. Like a lot a lot. Great, now my napkin tie is rui....
Dress For Dinner Napkins [ohgizmo]
Jun 30 2008 How Romantic: Dinner In The Sky
Dinner In The Sky is just that -- eating while suspended 164 feet in the air via crane. The table sits 22 people and three staff in the middle. The company will hoist you anywhere they can get a permit, and the service probably costs a freaking fortune. They'll even hoist another platform to the same height if you want live music available. And, now don't tell them I told you, but if you enter coupon code 'Hovering Hooters' while ordering on the website they'll even send a few strippers up. The service is available for 8-hour sessions and I have no idea how you relieve yourself after guzzling three bottles of wine up there. But, if I had to guess, I'd say the same way you normally would -- but with real people instead of a urinal cake for target practice.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and promo video.
Jun 5 2008 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome
As a man who frequently blogs and eats his lunch on the john, I know all about the benefits of canning your food (!). And now there's a restaurant in Taiwan that is cashing in on what I've known for years -- eating on the throne is the shit (!).
Patrons sit on toilets for seats and eat food off covered sinks and bathtubs. The food is served in a mini-toilet bowls and patrons drink out of mini travel potties. To finish the atmosphere, toilet paper is provided in the place of napkins.
"It's really unusual, so special that it doesn't gross me out," said Betty Tsai, 16, a Taipei high school sophomore trying Modern Toilet for the first time on a friend's recommendation.But for a few customers, the toilet humor is too much. "My son thought it was disgusting and didn't know if he could finish his food," said Taipei mother Lin Li-ju.
Wow, Lin Li-ju, it sounds like your son has a problem. Namely that he was born with a vagina and doesn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life. Seriously, if I had one of those oldschool TV-dinner stands I don't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. So yeah, I once saw a little kid at Home Depot urinate in one of the unplumbed toilets they had on display. I wonder if they have similar problems here. Well, my legs are going numb, time to get up.
Several more pictures and a video news report about the place, after the jump.
Continue Reading " 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome "
Feb 21 2008 Bravit Candle Is Neat, Expensive, Romantic
The Bravit Candle was created by Christoph Van Bommel. Basically you light the main wick, and then the flame can split and take different wick paths, sometimes with as many as 5 going at once. They cost anywhere from $80 - $170 depending on the size. The actual wick structure was "inspired from the molecular structure of cholesterol" and the candles were "specially designed for long romantic dinners, as the light can last up to 5 hours." Ah yes, the cholesterol inspired romantic dinner candle. I'll tell you what, I find cholesterol so romantic. Cholesterol and heart attacks both really get me in the mood.
Bravit, The Multi-flame Candle [cribfashion]
Thanks to Brendan, who knows how to wine and dine the ladies, for the tip
Feb 14 2008 Kinetic Energy Powered Cell Phone Is Green
The Atlas Kinetic Cell Phone concept is made out of aluminum and glass. In the center you get to see the kinetic energy harvesting unit, which is similar to those in fancy kinetic watches. Turning the phone upside down a few times will juice the unit up enough to make and receive calls and text messages (which is about all the phone will do). I like it. Design is a little weird, but that's to be expected. And you know what else should be expected? Dinner on the table when I get home. I mean I've got two dogs and three cats and all they do while I'm at work is sleep their asses off. Is it too much to ask for them to put a damn Eggo in the toaster? I know those freaking cats get on the kitchen counter when I'm not around, don't tell me they couldn't do it.
A couple more pictures of the phone after the jump.
Continue Reading " Kinetic Energy Powered Cell Phone Is Green "
Sep 10 2007 Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable
If you live in your uncle's attic like I do, then you can appreciate making the most out of limited space. To help is the 2 + 1 chair and table combo thingy from sdesignunit that packs three pieces of furniture into one. It can be a dining table and two chairs, a couch, or a bed. The only problem is that, um, it's made of cardboard. Now I'm no stranger to passing out at the bar, and it's plenty comfy at the time, but when I do make it home I like something a little softer. Well, that, and my girlfriend pees the bed, which would ruin this thing. HAHA! Now everyone knows! Maybe next time you'll think before making my eggs so runny.
Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable [ohgizmo]
