Mar 31 2009 Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table
The PING-PONG Dining Table by designer Hunn Wai is a luxurious looking table fit for both eating and beating the old ball around after dinner.
PING-PONG Dining table harks back to the origins of table-tennis with its duality of both being a table fit for dining and playing on. What started off as impromptu after-dinner amusement mimicking tennis in an indoor environment for upper-class Victorians became an international phenomenon with rules and standards. This is an official-sized game table with a DuPont Corian surface CNC machine-routed with French Rococo patterns interjected with Ping-pong iconography filled with gold lacquer, supported by stately hand-lathed timber legs. In the middle, a long rectangular vase filled with dainty blossoms does double-duty as a game-net and a table floral arrangement.
I want it. I don't care how much it costs, I want it. I freaking love myself some table tennis. You think I'm kidding? I sleep with my favorite paddle at night. He has a name, and it's Spanky. What's that, Spanky -- I've been bad? Ooooh, [PRIVATE PRIVATE PRIVATE]. 30-love, Spanky, 30-LOOOOVE!! And I'm finished. Now, could you go tell one of your little athletic sock friends to come in here for a minute?
Hit the jump for several more of the opulence.
Continue Reading " Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table "
Dec 1 2008 Haha, I'm Rich!: Fiber Optic Placemats
The LumiTable table runner is made from woven fiber optic strands and glows while you dine in the dark. Available in a variety of hideous colors, each 63"x13" runner will set you back a costly $200, but is sure to get the neighbors talking. Talking about what a tacky freaking idiot you are. Seriously, the only people that eat in the dark are vampires. And if there's one thing I know about vampires, it's that I tried to stab myself to death with my nachos watching Twilight this weekend.
Luminous tablecloth adds an eerie glow to your dining experience [dvice]
Oct 29 2007 Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped
When I think topless table, I think topless table dancers gyrating and whatnot and otherwise being all boobily up in my face. Well this table is the exact opposite.
It’s just a paradigm shift in what we normally think a table should look like - some legs supporting a flat surface. Design Diana Halbeisen wanted to experiment with different forms. She thought about what a dinner table is used for, how things are placed, etc. Her design is a series of metal rods with bent circles to hold various dinner and flatware.
Yeah, so this is the wackest table ever. As a matter of fact, I don't think you can call this a table. So from now on this will be known as a fable. But not one about mythical beasts and animals and shit like that with a moral at the end. No this fable has metal rods that can end up jammed in your ass if you bend over in its vicinity. Try telling that one to your kids before bed.
One more after the spill.
Continue Reading " Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped "
Oct 9 2007 Credit Card Reminder For Heavy Drinkers
The Doberman Credit Card Reminder is a device that reminds you to get your credit card back from the bartender at the end of the night. You push one of the buttons, which starts an alarm for 1-4 hours, and when the time is up it beeps and flashes it's LED. This amazing technology costs $8. I gave it a go one night and it didn't get my card back. I was so drunk I thought it's blinking and beeping meant it was time to try making out with the bartender. She broke my nose and kicked me out. She's so hot.
Doberman Security Credit Card Reminder [ohgizmo]
Sep 4 2007 My Private Sky Plates
If you have more money than you know what to do with, then the guys at Kram/Weisshaar can help you get rid of some. For an undisclosed amount they will create a custom set of plates that depict the night sky exactly as it was the time and place of your birth. The plates are painted in gold and platinum, and a set can contain over 500 stars, nebulae, spaceships, etc. Of course, if you have the money for these things, call me and for the same price I'll do your bedroom ceiling with glow in the dark stickers.
My Private Sky Plates [kitsune noir]
Aug 27 2007 Table Makes You Kill Dining Partner
I have enough trouble eating as it is, so why designers Stefano Merlo and Claudia Taddia would want to make it harder is a mystery to me. They have designed a table (now to be known as the table that made me kill my wife) that has each setting (glass, fork, knife, etc) tethered to its match on the opposite side of the table. So if you're using your knife, your dining partner cannot. This is absolutely brilliant. I can see it now. "Honey, I swear to god you better put down that knife right now so I can stab you."
A couple more of the world's worst table after the jump.
Jul 2 2007 The Ultimate Coffee Cup
Designer David Pier believes he's put together the ultimate coffee cup, which he describes as:
The ultimate in ergonomic modern design. A unique and innovative cup that is as delightful to the hand as it is to the eye. Usually, original designs are different just to be different and therefore can be awkward to use, but this mug was designed to be superior in its function. Every convention was challenged during the design process; new techniques were even developed to accurately manufacture the unusual shape. Just as no time or effort was spared in the design, only the finest porcelain was used in the manufacture.
You can get them for $22 each here, though it's not nearly as ultimate as the designer would have you believe. I asked mine to pick up some groceries and all it did was crash my car into a tree. Ultimate my ass!
