May 20 2009 Analog Digital Clock Looks Like Digital Clock, Is Made Of Analog Clocks, I'm All Man
Hell yeah I am too. The Clock Clock tells time using a digital-looking display made up of 24 smaller, analog clocks. It is a pretty neat idea and is best viewed from far away otherwise you might burn your retinas out or go crazy like that guy in that movie that was all like AAAAAAAHH!
Created by Swedish designers Humans Since 1982, the Clock Clock installation features 48 electronically-controlled analog clock hands which automatically rotate into the proper positions to form a giant digital display.
I kind of want it. It reminds me a lot of this clock, which is major badassery. Or Colonel Kickass if you're really digging it.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots and a video of the clock in action.
Jan 9 2009 Obama Requests Extension For Analog TV Shutdown. Confused Grandparents Rejoice, But Don't Really Know What's Happening.
President-elect Barack Obama requested Congress extend the analog television cut-off date because inadequate funding and flaws in the converter box program. You know, because a bunch of people are stupid. And dumb. Mad dumb.
John Podesta, co-chair of the Obama-Biden transition team, requested that "the cut-off date (February 17th) for analog signals should be reconsidered and extended". The letter was sent this Thursday to the chairs and ranking Republicans on the House Energy & Commerce Committee and Senate Commerce Committee.
Apparently there is some concern that the inbreds will freak out and blame the new president when their picture-boxes stop working shortly after his inauguration. So better to postpone the shutdown and educate the yokels before things get out of hand. Uh-oh, and speaking of getting out of hand -- where'd my penis go?
Jan 9 2009 Pre & Post Dump Weighing: The Toilet Scale
The Toilet Scale was designed by Haikun Deng so you can weigh yourself while using the john. Personally, I like to sit down while I pee. I'm not sure why I just shared that. Anway, the only problem is you have to make sure your feet aren't touching the ground while it's weighing, or it won't work. So you have to kick your legs out in front of you. Which, let's be honest, we all do anyways. One time I kicked the towel-bar off the wall! This scale is perfect for determining the weight of turds so you can brag to your friends about them later. Wow, a six pounder -- somebody call Guinness! Seriously, I think this warrants a free beer.
Hit the jump for another picture and a little comic of a rabbit sitting on a toilet, in case you've always wanted to see that.
Continue Reading " Pre & Post Dump Weighing: The Toilet Scale "
Sep 19 2008 Macs Used To Help Make New Microsoft Ad
Uh-oh. It's been discovered that some of the images used in Microsoft's new 'I'm a PC' commercial were created with Macs.
Four of the images that Microsoft made available on its PressPass site today display the designation "Adobe Photoshop C3 Macintosh" when their file properties are examined. The images appear to be frames from the television ads that Microsoft will launch later today.
One of the images is of a real Microsoft engineer, identified only as "Sean," who resembles John Hodgman, the actor who plays the PC character in Apple Inc.'s iconic ads.
Well seeing how Microsoft hired ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky to create the commercials, it's not surprising that they were using Macs since there wasn't a "no Macs" clause in the agreement. Probably should have been though. I told you to let me handle the law, Microsoft, I'm mad legal. Ha, well technically I'm 17, but I have a good fake.
On a side note, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so get out there and avast, ye maties and whatever the hell else pirates do.*
*Raping unacceptable, pillaging fine.
Microsoft's 'I'm a PC' ad images made on Macs [computerworld]
Thanks to Stephen and Huggy Bear, who are both half PC, half Mac, but 100% pirate.
Jul 17 2008 New Analog Watch Models From Tokyoflash
In a departure from their typically cryptic watches, Tokyoflash has just dropped a line of easier to read analog models from Nekura. That's three of the them there, but there are five in total, so hit the jump for high-res pictures of all of them. Each sells for $85, has an engraved strap which is available with a black or clear outer, and is sure to get you laid. Trust me, I have the Twilight (the middle one) and that thing attracts the ladies like a rare earth magnet attracts a female rare earth magnet. I just strapped that baby on and BA-BOOM, mad chicks were hanging all up on me and fondling my watch. It was sensual. I mean these chicks were so close their chestfruits were like a foot and half away from my mouth (a first!). Mmmm, I could smell the intoxicating scent of their shampoos and I just wanted to eat them up like a zombie chomping on a brain. You feeling me? Because I'm feeling you. Literally. And no, this doesn't count as sexual harassment. This is totally legit.
Hit the jump for a big picture of each one.
Continue Reading " New Analog Watch Models From Tokyoflash "
May 27 2008 Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records
Let's face it: records are round and made of vinyl. The ATTIGO: TT is the brainchild of Dundee University student Scott Hobbs and is basically two digital turntables (with waveforms displayed) that allows DJ's to "loop, sample and scratch wave forms just as you would a record." Scott is currently looking for manufacturers interested in producing the ATTIGO, and I'm currently looking for a new girlfriend interested in producing beautiful music. But just with me -- not my roommate and the Fed-Ex guy while I'm busy mowing the yard. I HATE YOU JANET! YOU'RE LOOSE AND NOW EVERYONE ON GEEKOLOGIE KNOWS IT.
UPDATE: YOU DIRTY STRUMPET!
UPDATE: Okay, we're back together. But I'm leaving this up because I know she's gonna end up banging the dude that works the aquarium section at the local pet store. I've seen the way they flirt around the cichlids.
UPDATE: Wow, the reptile guy too. Didn't see that coming. Nice touch you skank.
A worthwhile VIDEO of the unit in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records "
Apr 28 2008 Acoustic Drum Machine Is A-Okay In My Book
Sure I could make beats with a drum synthesizer on the computer, but honestly, that's a little too digital for my tastes. Now I know what you're thinking: short of actually playing the drums, how can I get around this obstacle? Simple -- you make little robotic drums out of coffee cans, toss those mothers in a bomb-looking briefcase, make sure there's lots of sketchy wires hanging out, and then have them controlled by MIDI from a sequencer. And as easy as that you have your own acoustic drum machine. Pretty awesome, huh? I thought so. But I actually posted this though because I'm acting as matchmaker for Little Yellow Drum Machine, and I think this briefcase is right up his alley. What do you think my little robotic friend? *tink tink ta tink TINK* Ha, he said he'd attack that ass like a gong. Do I know him or what?
Thanks to the self proclaimed King of the Computer Geeks, for the tip
Apr 11 2008 Digital Looking Watch Is All Analog, Awesome
The Di Grisogono Meccanica DG watch looks digital, but is purely analog. Only 177 are being made, and each contains over 651 parts.
The mechanically operated digital display of the second timezone shows tens of hours, single hours, tens of minutes and single minutes, all displayed by mobile microsegments driven by an assemblage of 23 cams connected to a set of gears and a triggering and synchronization system. The time information is displayed by an array of 23 horizontally and vertically positioned microsegments. Vertical segments are 9 mm high and weigh at most 25 milligrams while the horizontal segments measure 2.90 mm in length and weigh only 10 milligrams. The segments have four faces: two opposing visible faces fitted with colored strips and two opposing unmarked faces. Time changes are effected by 90° rotations of the required segment or segments. Involving one to twelve segments, time changes are lightning fast.
Freaking awesome! Man, I want a digital looking analog watch. Especially one that's more expensive than a house. I swear, I'd just stare at it changing time all day long. Plus it'd probably cover the cancerous looking mole that I'm too afraid to go get checked out. If it has hair growing out of it does that mean it's safe?
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Digital Looking Watch Is All Analog, Awesome "
Feb 20 2008 Digital Tattoo Is Conceptual, Questionable
The Digital Tattoo Interface was another entry in the Greener Design Competition that the gravity lamp won second place in. It's an electronic interface embedded under the skin that looks like a tattoo. It's nuts. You could use it as a phone, computer, or traditional tattoo by downloading a picture of a unicorn from the internet. It runs on blood by turning glucose and oxygen into electricity. I don't trust it. Mostly because Jim Mielke, the man responsible for the concept, ends his spiel with "This product is waterproof and powered by pizza." Now get real Jim, who's going to believe that? Everybody who isn't a raving lunatic knows a digital tattoo interface can't run on pizza. Spaghetti-O's maybe, but pizza? You so crazy.
Two more pictures with words after the hop.
Continue Reading " Digital Tattoo Is Conceptual, Questionable "
Feb 18 2008 Pen Turns Your Writing Into Text Mesages
The D:Scribe is a pen that digitizes your writing to send as a text message. You write whatever you want, circle the name of the recipient, and the pen sends the data to your cell phone via Bluetooth, which in turn fires off the text or email message. The current status of messages is displayed on the pen's little OLED display. I'm really digging this concept. I love writing on bar napkins and hate typing text messages, so this would be perfect for me. Of course there's no chance in hell it would be able to decipher my handwriting. It looks like cuneiform, but with more hearts above the i's and unicorn doodles mixed in.
SMS And Email Pen [yankodesign]
Jan 22 2008 Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame
I touched on this packing tape back in October, but now SUCK UK is selling the stuff, in both traditional LCD and Pixel varieties. A mini roll will set you back £5 (~$9.80) and the big ones go for £7.50 (~$14.70), which is pretty freaking expensive for some damn tape. Still, if you can't stand the look of plain analog packing tape, maybe this is for you. You know, the pixel tape kind of reminds me of the opscan forms you had to fill out for multiple choice tests in college. I would always get two and after I was done taking the test I'd put a fake name on the other and fill in the bubbles to look like a monster penis. Ah, college.
A NSFW example of an old test of mine if you don't know what I'm talking about, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Message Tape: Analog Packing Tape Is Lame "
Jan 7 2008 Get Prints Of Nintendo Collages For Cheap
I posted Chris Lange's Nintendo collages a couple weeks ago, and mentioned the staggering $250 pricetag. Well due to the incredible demand (thanks to my article no doubt), Chris has decided to sell 8.5" x 11" digital prints of the pieces for $20 each. So they're a lot more affordable. They're also a lot more, uh, less collagey. Which is both proper grammar and a real word. I just asked the dog and he totally licked his privates, which means yes. Well it either means yes or that his unit burns from humping the space heater.
nintendo collages for everyone [technabob]
Dec 13 2007 Mobile Notetaker Digitizes Your Analog Notes
The Mobile Notetaker attaches to the top of any pad of paper and digitizes your notes for download to a computer later (and translated to editable text). It can store up to 50 standard pages of notes or doodles, and costs $170. It's aimed at solving the same problem of analog vs. digital notes that the FLY Fusion Pentop Computer is attempting. I need one, because I take really good notes at meetings with my boss. Okay, they're more like drawings. My latest is called "Mr. Abelman gets an arrow in his head and squirts blood everywhere". It's a picture of my boss, Mr. Abelman, with an arrow in his head and blood going everywhere. It really got me into creating art around the office to brighten the place up. Unfortunately I got fired when I was caught working on another art project of mine. It was a rather brilliant performance piece I came up with entitled "Me boning the secretary on the boss's desk during his lunch break". Turns out he hadn't gone to lunch yet, just the bathroom.
Nov 19 2007 Amazon Releases Kindle, Oh Happy Day!
Kindle, Amazon's ebook reader dropped today for $400. Over 90,000 titles are already available for the device, and each is less than $10. You can also get subscriptions to major newspapers, magazines, etc. for a monthly fee. "The unit is not Wi-Fi compatible. Instead, it's on its own EV-DO network, called Whispernet, which is affiliated with Sprint." You can't actually use it as a web browser though, except for free access to Wikipedia. So, yeah. Someone get one and tell me how it is. I like the newspaper subscription idea, but I prefer my books analog. There's just nothing more relaxing than sitting on the john with a hardback stretched across your naked thighs. Well, until your legs fall asleep and you collapse trying to stand up. Then you're lying on the cold tile floor with your pants around your ankles and a cat licking your face.
Amazon's Kindle unveiled: an ebook reader with free Internet access [sci-fi]
Oct 16 2007 New Rubik's Cube Is Digital, I Miss Analog
Well apparently the analog version of the Rubik's cube just wasn't enough for the greedy company (it only sold a paltry 300 million units), so here comes the Rubik's Revolution! No really, that's what it's called. The segments don't move at all anymore, instead you can play 6 different games with awesome titles like Cube Catcher and Pattern Panic. They all revolve around pushing the glowing button in the middle of each side. The unit costs $20. I think I'll stick to the original analog version. You know, I once solved it in under a minute. Using my penis.
Rubik's Revolution [ohgizmo]
Sep 18 2007 Talking Photo Album Steals Your Voice
This talking photo album, from Vat19, uh, talks. You can record a 10 second statement for each of the 24 photos in the album and then listen to them while you're reliving the memories. It costs $20, and isn't that bad of an idea if you plan on dying. I'm getting one to set on the coffee table for visitors. "On the next page is a picture of my testicles, don't look if you don't believe me. HAHA! You turned. You are so gay, those are my balls! Those are them! They're attached to me. Sucker! Now put down the album because the next page has private pictures of my girlfriend. Seriously, stop. HAHA! Gotcha -- you turned again! More balls! Whee!"
Sep 11 2007 Makeover Toy For Girls Is Questionable
The GirlTech Digi Makeover is a device you plug into your tv and is the "fun way to change hairstyles, makeup, and accessories." It takes your picture via the onboard digital camera, and you can then put lipstick on and try different hair colors. It costs $94 and is made for children 6 and up. Because nothing quite says "daddy's little girl is going to grow up to be the best stripper ever" like buying this for your six year old daughter.
Makeover Toy For Girls Is Questionable [uberreview]
Aug 31 2007 Magical Pen Turns Analog to Digital
The Fly Fusion pen ($80) may look like just another vibrator, but this one is special. When used in conjunction with the $8 Fly Fusion Notebooks, it can magically convert your analog notes and doodles to digital format! The technology behind this breakthrough is called very tiny dots. These dots, almost imperceptible to the human eye, are all too clear to the pen, which uses them to figure out what the hell your chicken scratch is. The pen can also play MP3's and games and there is a slew of software available to teach you different subjects like algebra and French. While this product comes highly recommended, who the hell takes notes anymore? I never took notes in college, I just took digital pictures of the chalkboard whenever the teacher wrote something. And a bunch of the big breasted co-ed next to me, because, well, I'm a booby fan.
Product Site [thanks to Cygnus the Magnificent for the tip]
Aug 29 2007 Game Offers Chance at First Kiss
For those of you out there that have yet to make it to first base, it might not be too late. Toys4Me is releasing Electronic Spin the Bottle, because, uh, analog bottles are stupid and will not get you laid. The damn thing costs $34, which is ridiculous to pay for something I have a ton of in the recycling bin. It does take me back though. Sitting in a circle, watching the bottle slow down, praying it lands on Suzy, the 4th grader of my dreams. Then having it go too far and making out with my sister for a half hour. God, I think I just puked in my mouth a little.
Game Offers Chance at First Kiss [ubergizmo]
