Nov 18 2009 You're Gonna Burn In Hell!: Dino Car Decal

Listen, I'm not here to tell you to follow Jesus or smoke buddha or whatever, I'm just here to report the things I see and maybe make a couple drug connections in the process. And this is a 'dinosaur eating the Jesus fish' car decal. Love it or hate it, you've got to admit it's the first time you've ever seen a t-rex holding something with its little arms. And THAT, my friends, is biblical.

Product Site
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Picture

Thanks to Logisticz and martyn, who are pissed dinosaurs didn't make it onto the ark. Me too guys, me too.

Nov 16 2009 Pikachu Girl Gets Proposed To By Raichu

Belle Starenchak, better known as Pikachu Girl, or "PikaBelleChu", is now engaged DESPITE MY MUCH EARLIER PROPOSAL. I asked first, jerkbag. I was gonna catch all that!

When Chris Herbert decided to pop the question to his girlfriend of three years, Belle Starenchak, he picked the most romantic place he could think of: Anime Weekend Atlanta, with both dressed as Pokemon. It ... kind of makes sense for them.

Belle, or "PikaBelleChu," is featured in the Guinness Book of World Records: Gamer Edition for her massive Pikachu memorabilia collection, and Herbert met her by staging a Pokemon auction. So while we might be tempted to laugh, it would seem that the pursuit of 'em all is a major component of this couple's lives.

Wow, this story is so full of wow I don't even know where to begin. So I'll just start by saying who the hell stages an auction to meet a woman? That's pretty low. But, admittedly, genius. Which is exactly why you should set up an auction for locks of Edward Cullen's hair in your garage. Don't worry, you can thank me later.

Hit the jump for a video of the proposal.

Continue Reading " Pikachu Girl Gets Proposed To By Raichu "

Nov 15 2009 Geekologie Reader Gets Cisco Bars Tattoo

Because I love you all and am so proud of your accomplishments, here's Geekologie Reader Brian's recent Cisco Systems "bars" tattoo. For those of you not in the know, it's a stylized version of the Golden Gate Bridge. AND YES TATTOOS COUNT AS ACCOMPLISHMENTS. But, no matter what your BFF may have told you, being first in the comments doesn't.

Thanks Brian, and remember to get those moles looked at regularly.

Nov 10 2009 How Do You Not Bite Them?: Bacon Nails

Geekologie Reader Melissa has taken it upon herself to paint her fingernails in a different style every day for an entire year and blog about it. Today's theme is bacon, and I'll be the first to admit I would bite every single one of those fingers clean off. And by 'clean off' I mean do you know how hard it is to bite through a finger? Surprisingly easy. Go ahead -- put one in my mouth, I DARE DOUBLE DARE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE you. Here, I'll close my eyes and everything. *zip* Haha, nice try buddy.

Hit the jump for a shot of the other cuticles.

Continue Reading " How Do You Not Bite Them?: Bacon Nails "

Nov 4 2009 Tutorial: How To Make The Chewbacca Sound

This is a short video tutorial of some busty geek girl teaching you how to sound like Chewbacca. And I don't care how cute you think she is, watch her from 1:10 to 1:18 and then tell me that. Also, whether you follow the instructions or not, you're gonna end up looking retarded. Just a heads up.

Youtube

Thanks to Rémy, whose name may have been lost in formatting.

Nov 2 2009 Oooh, Nice Wheels: Pac-Man Drives In Style

I've often wondered what kind of car Pac-Man would drive, and now I know. He doesn't just gobble dots -- he gobbles the dotted line! OM NOM NOM!! And, in case you can't see this and somebody is reading it to you, the car is bright red and yellow. Kind of like a firetruck/schoolbus combo. Which -- these kids are heroes, damnit!

Hit the jump for several more shots of the car including the sweet rims.

Continue Reading " Oooh, Nice Wheels: Pac-Man Drives In Style "

Nov 1 2009 Please Stop Breaking Into My Car: "Try Again And I'll Go Gordon Freeman On Your Ass"

Some poor bastard, fed up with his car being broken into, decided to leave this passive aggressive note for the thieves. And not only does he reference Half-Life, THE DUDE KEEPS AN OCARINA IN HIS CAR. ZOMG, do you think he's Link?! Yeah, me neither.

Also, to guy's credit, I added the asterisk to his signature. DUDE MEANS BUSINESS.

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Thanks to gabby, who would have booby trapped the car with Goron bombs.

Oct 31 2009 'Tis The Season: For A Zombie Wedding Cake

Is there any better way to celebrate a couple's undying love and devotion for one another than with a zombie wedding cake? There is not. As you can see, the cake features the lovely couple on top fighting off a horde of the undead with chainsaws. Can you say romantic? This reminds me of the time I took a girl out in highschool and accidentally ran over a bum with my dad's car on the way to makeout point and made he swear she'd never tell anybody I received straight A's and gave a speech at the graduation ceremony. Whew, good recovery, GW.

Hit the jump for a shot of the lucky couple whose marriage may or may not end in a 911 call about a domestic stabbing (it's totally going to).

Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: For A Zombie Wedding Cake "

Oct 30 2009 It's About Time: Glow In The Dark Lingerie

Listen ladies -- if you have to wear glow in the dark lingerie in order for your lover to find all your parts, I've got news for you: you may be dating a middle-schooler. NOT COOL.

LuminoGlow is an Australian company that makes unmentionables that look normal with the lights on, but glow in the dark when they're turned off. Pretty neat, but don't glow in the dark items need to be left in the light for a while before they glow? Are you supposed to wear these around the house all day first just to charge them up before gametime at night? And will they glow through your clothes if you wear a thin shirt or dress?

Unmentionables, I love that term. Because they're actually totaaaaally mentionable. PANTIES PANTIES BRA THONG BOOBIE BELT. See? No big deal. Also, call me old fashioned but I prefer non-glowing genitals. Just sayin'.

Because I love you, hit the jump for four more full-body shots of the undies in action.

Continue Reading " It's About Time: Glow In The Dark Lingerie "

Oct 23 2009 Indiana Jones Action Figure (Plus Fridge!)

I never saw the new Indiana Jones movie because I prefer my childhood memories un-desecrated, but for those of you that did, and actually liked it, there's this $175 Kingdom of the Crystal Skull action figure. And it comes complete with the lead-lined fridge Indy uses to survive the nuclear blast! What an accessory! Unfortunately, it doesn't come with that fake apple, which is a shame because that was the only reason I was going to buy it. Oh, and why Indy's face looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings is beyond me. That ring belongs in a museum!

Product Site
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Commemorate The Worst Indiana Jones Scene With This Action Figure [nerdapproved]

Thanks to tom and Mark, who like a little lead in their vegetables because they want to be retarded.

Oct 18 2009 Okay: Man Raps Eminem Songs In Klingon

This is a video of German rapper Klenginem covering Eminem's 'Without Me' in the Klingon language. Apparently this guy actually dresses up and plays gigs doing this. And, honestly, I'm not surprised, Germans are weird as shit. Videos. Case closed!

Klenginem: Eminem Meets Klingon [poppedculture]

Thanks to Matthew, Chrissy and dan, who, from the quality of their emails, don't even know one language. Kidding (but not really)!

Oct 16 2009 Okaaaay: Children's Giant Gaping Jaws Shirts

These are two $25 hoodies designed by Mouthman that, when a child crosses their arms, appear as though they're going to eat you. Now I know that one's a dinosaur, but rest assured I would never make out with a child's elbows. Seriously. You know, that pose reminds me of middle school when you'd wrap your arms around yourself like that and pretend you were making out with someone against a bank of lockers. Except it was just you, and the other kids would start laughing. But not with you, AT you. And then the tears would start to fall. I just wanted to fit in so bad!

Mouthman Hoodies (with a whole bunch of other designs)
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Huge fanged mouth hoodies [boingboing]

Thanks to b00m, Peter and Aubrey, who don't wear hoodies because they mess up their beautiful manes. RAWR!

Oct 14 2009 Now That's Fine Art: A Coat Hanger Gorilla

Apparently this is old but I don't care because it's the first time I've seen it and if you've seen it before then maybe YOU should have sent it to me earlier. That's right, YOU'RE the one to blame here. Jerk. Anyway, this behemoth was created entirely out of bent coat hangers by Scottish artist David Mach. And I think we can all agree, it speaks volumes. About how, you know, gorillas like to hang from stuff. Get it? Because of the hangers!! God, I slay me.

Coat Hanger Gorilla [reubenmiller]

Thanks to naas, who once Donkey Kong'ed two chicks at once and even though I don't know what that means I'm going to play along like I do. Sweeeet.

Oct 14 2009 Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky

Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. But be warned!

But seriously the tops of canned drinks can be really dirty; one commenter on Boing Boing Gadgets agrees with me and gives the thumbs down to the Bottle Tops as well. But the others say that it's perfect for beer for a couple of reasons - one, because it keeps the carbon dioxide from escaping, so you don't have to worry about not being able to empty huge cans of booze, and two, because if you cover the can itself the bottle top makes it look like you're drinking an energy drink.

No. But you know what IS perfect for beer? My mouth. Which, MEDICAL FACT: is also perfect for burritos!

Hit the jump for the terrible tv commercial.

Continue Reading " Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky "

Sep 21 2009 I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey

This is video of a Japanese air hockey table (possibly manufactured by Sega) that's designed to give game participants seizures. I couldn't even see the puck most of the time. And not just because I was rolling around on the floor clutching my eyes, but I was. Your mom keeps sending nudey pics!

Hit the jump for two more videos of the table, the first of which has a bunch of fake pucks on the table the whole time, and the second demonstrating the table's variable goal size capabilities.

Continue Reading " I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey "

Sep 16 2009 Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes

This is a head rendered in Tetris blocks as imagined by Rihards Rozans. I have no idea if he used his own face for the model, but if he did, he's a pretty handsome guy. You know, in a Donkey Kong sort of way. Speaking of which: remember Candy Kong in Donkey Kong Country? I wanted to hit that like a bushel of bananas: still green and $0.79/lb?

Hit the jump for three more shots of the blocks.

Continue Reading " Blockhead!: Face Rendered In Tetris Shapes "

Sep 14 2009 Norwegian Viking Man Changes Name To Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov

The beast seen here, best known for once sinking a rival Viking's ship with a single whip of his fiery mullet, has changed his name. He used to be Andreas Jankov. But nooooow he's Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. You've got to admit: it does have a ring to it.

"I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like," said the film enthusiast. "I wanted to see how far I could take it with respect to the number of names. I started thinking about this three years ago and it was approved in January this year."

Thanks to our commenters, we've been able to break down the name:

- Julius is an homage to the famous chimp at the Kristiansand Zoo
- 'Arn' is a Swedish knight movie
- Elessar and Gimli are from 'Lord of the Rings'
- 'MacGyver', just the greatest Richard Dean Anderson show ever!
- 'Highlander' could refer to either the movie or TV show
- Chewbacka (aka Chewbacca) is from 'Star Wars'

Can you guess the name that doesn't belong? Me neither. I loved 'Lord of the Rings'!

Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov: Norway's Longest Name? [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to TT likes little boys and Steve, who named their sons Sue to make them tough.

Sep 11 2009 You Look Different: Is That You, R2?

This is definitely NOT the droid I'm looking for. Kidding -- come here you lovable little trashcan, you! Now hump my leg.

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This [pictureisunrelated]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, next round at the cantina's on me. Psyche! I WILL SHOOT FIRST.

Sep 2 2009 Record: 13,000 People Dancing To Thriller

13,957 people recently came together in Mexico to dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller and set the world record for worst waste of a hot afternoon. Which, I might note, just beat out the previous record held by yours truly when I didn't drink one scorching afternoon in August.

Youtube

Thanks to naas, who keeps asking me to call him the Thrilla from Illi(nois) but I refuse.

Aug 28 2009 I'd Sleep Under That: Mega Man 2 Chain Mail

From the same maker as last week's chain mail chess set comes this awesome Mega Man 2 chain mail blanket/wall hanging. I know this little picture doesn't do it justice so click HERE to see a higher res version. Then, click HERE to discover life's greatest secrets. Oh, sorry, hyperlink must be broken (tricked you!).

After one and a half years, the Megaman II Project is finally finished. The dimensions are 38" x 45", as it hangs on the wall, and its total weight is over 16 pounds.

Ring Count: 63,608

Can you imagine crimping 63,000 little rings together? Because I can't. And not just because I'd probably swallow a half dozen for every ten I got together, but I would. I LIKE TO PUT THINGS IN MY MOUTH, OKAY? Just saying, good thing I can type without looking. Those consonants -- delicioso!

Project Page [chainmailbasket]

Thanks to NES--still-the-best, who won't even talk to you about playing Genesis.