Oct 7 2009 Oldschool Destruction: Rampage In Real Life
This is a video of the oldschool classic Rampage in real life, brought to you by the same angry bald man that produced the real life Paperboy (but not the movie). I chuckled. But I did NOT upchuck, even though I did two nights ago. That was the night I walked into the restroom at a bar and caught a guy standing at the pisser trying to blow a snot rocket on the wall above the urinal. So you know what I did? I waited till he was done pissing THEN WHIPPED HIS MONKEY ASS. Being gross: don't do it around me.
Sep 28 2009 Sadness: LEGO House Gets Demolished
The LEGO house built by James May for his BBC program Toy Stories was recently demolished after nobody stepped forward to buy and preserve the plastic abode. I would have, but I don't have the money. Or pants (pants? where I'm going I don't need pants). I'm going back to the past! Anyway, this is a little gallery of the demolition. Allegedly the blocks (which were actually donated by LEGO) are going to be used for charity builds in the future. So yeah, that's a silver lining. But not a silver panty liner! Which, haha, HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF.
Hit the jump for several more shots of the sadness.
Sep 11 2009 But I Don't Wanna Hit Him!: WALL-E Piñata
This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with a face drawn on the side. I remember one time I hit it so hard I dented a can of succotash! Also, all the bananas got real mushy.
wall-e pinata filled with candy, not garbage [technabob]
Thanks to naas, who hate WALL-E but loves beating things with a dowel.
Jun 10 2009 Street Fighter II Bonus Stage In Real Life
Alright, I have to lay off the ropacalypse posts for a little bit, I was starting to have heart palpitations. Also, a serious decrease in libido. Thankfully, I just watched Jurassic Park in fast forward, so I think I'll be okay. Anyway, this is the 'beat up the car' bonus stage from Street Fighter II reenacted by a real life Ryu. And, as you can probably tell, he received no bonus points.
Thanks to asiantom, who would have begun with a couple well-placed Hadoukens to get the party started quickly.
Apr 14 2009 Trying To Pancake A Car With A Rocket Sled
This is by far one of the coolest videos I've seen in awhile. In it, the Mythbusters attempt to fuse metal and pancake a compact car using a rocket-sled traveling at 650MPH. The results are....amazing. And why I don't drive. With a license.
Thanks to snipmint, who once rode a rocket to the moon and didn't bother to bring me back any cheese. Just sayin', kind of a dick move.
Jan 25 2009 Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs
Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.
These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.
They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs "
Jan 23 2009 ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!!
Did I mention it was in the Great Chicago Fire? It was.
2005 Mercedes SLR McLaren, extensive fire damage. It has a lot of usable parts, including:* ENGINE
*TRANSMISION
*EXHAUST SYSTEM
*MOST OF THE FRONT SUSPENSION L+R
* FRONT WHEELS
* AND MANY OTHER MISCELANIOUS PARTS.
Screw it, I'm welding a patio chair to that sucker and calling myself Richy McMoney Burntride. So, uh, can one of you lovely readers float me $44K? Come on -- I'll let you sit on the gas tank and make VROOM VROOM noises!
Hit the jump for two more of the sadness.
Continue Reading " ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!! "
Jan 17 2009 Stop Confusing Me, Damnit: The TOFU Robot
TOFU is a meat-free robot that looks and acts like a penguin crossed with a Furby crossed with my ex-girlfriend's muff (which I DID see once when I walked in on her in the shower -- score!) Developed at the MIT Media Lab, the little bastard dances to music and has OLED eyes that look eerily sexy. "He's a "squash and stretch" robot, one that uses techniques of social expression employed by 2D animators to give himself some personality." I have no idea what that means but I've killed my fair share of Furbys and, by God, I'll kill a battalion of these little robotic bitches too. But....those eyes....
UPDATE: Humankind, please forgive me, for I have sinned in the most I had-sex-with-a-robot way possible. And, I still have some more reading to do on the subject, but I think I might be pregnant.
Sep 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Cardboard Cat Playhouses
These fold-it-yourself cat playhouses from suckUK are made from grade-A cardboard and there is no way in hell my cats could fit through that little hole in the top without utterly destroying the thing. But if you have small cats, each one costs about $27, making them some of the most expensive pieces of soon-to-be shredded cardboard I've ever seen. Seriously, if you love your cats and want to get them the nicest playthings, do what I did and get them all Power Wheels. Oh, hold on. "Jimmy, what did I tell you about running over the dog's tail? Haha, yeah, you want to be going full speed. Good kitty."
Product Page
Thanks to Phil, whose pets dine exclusively on Dom Pérignon. Drunk pets are the best pets!
Aug 11 2008 Weapon Wielding Wobots Worry World
This is one of the most disturbing videos I've seen in a long time. It's two robots going at it with medieval weaponry. I have no idea why they exist, or what they're demonstrating, but I can't believe some shmuck programmed robots to swing weapons. WTF were you thinking? Like I don't already have enough to worry about. This is definitely gonna give me nightmares and daymares. But hopefully not a rash. I just got over the last one and can finally sit down on the toilet again. I freaking hate hovering.
Youtube
Thanks Brian, I love fearing for my life.
Mar 21 2008 End Of The World Clock Is Inaccurate
Artist Gianni Motti had a dream. A dream of a really long LED timer that displays an approximate countdown to the sun's demise and resulting destruction of the earth. It started in 2005, so we're at about 5 billion years minus a few. But I've got some bad news for you Gianni. The world will end when I say so. And it's going to be a hell of a lot sooner than 5 billion years. That's right, and there's nothing that blue douche Captain Planet and his kiddy companions can do about it either. MUWHAHAHA!! *cough, cough* *chin falls off* F***ing leprosy.
clock counts down to the end of the world [technabob]
Feb 25 2008 Wind Turbine Can't Handle The Storm, Goes Out With Flying Blades Of Fury
I'm from the school where you'd think more wind for a wind turbine would just mean more energy. Well, as this video proves, that is not always the case. Storm winds for this turbine spelled awesome disaster (although they spelled it awsum disastur, storm winds can't really spell) and a chance for super-sweet slow-motion replays. Poor turbine, just out there trying to produce some green energy, and next thing you know "BA-DOOOSH!" it's in a million pieces and generating no energy whatsoever. Sad, but fun to watch -- like a narcoleptic wiener dog (video of him after the jump).
UPDATE: Narcoleptic wiener dog video updated to much cooler one, thanks to Super Frank, my brother.
Continue Reading " Wind Turbine Can't Handle The Storm, Goes Out With Flying Blades Of Fury "
Jan 25 2008 The World Is Doomed, Head For The Hills
Dan Bloom thinks the world is screwed. Who is Dan Bloom you ask? Some scientist or expert on global warming? No, he's a writer that doesn't own a computer and lives in Taiwan teaching English. Proving it doesn't take a scientist to believe Mother Earth is packing up her bags and calling it quits. Dan is also the one that came up with the idea for these awesome Polar Cities. Basically he thinks that in no longer than 500 years (and possible way sooner) the world's population will be decimated and only a few hundred million people will survive in these specially-designed cities in the Arctic.
Well damn, Dan, way to put a damper on my usual 'Get Drunk and Watch The Price Is Right' Friday ritual. Screaming at the idiotic contestants really lost its luster with this depressing news. Oh my god you better bid $601 or I swear I'll kill you! Oh you lost? Really? Well maybe it's because YOU'RE A BONEHEAD ASSCAP AND DIDN'T BID WHAT I TOLD YOU TO. Jesus the people are stupid today. It's like half-wit vs. quarter-wit day on The Price Is Right. I bet these are the same morons responsible for destroying the damn planet. God I hate them so much.
A few more pictures of the conceptual cities after the jump, in case you're building a sweet Habitrail for your gerbils and want to use them for reference.
Continue Reading " The World Is Doomed, Head For The Hills "
Apr 20 2007 Detonating 100 tons of explosives
This is a video of defense contractors detonating 100 tons of various explosive munitions. And yes, it's every bit as awesome as it sounds.
Apr 13 2007 Cardcraft robot goes up in Peeps fire
Bunny Burn is an annual event that a group of friends (location unknown) organize.The purpose of the party is the spectacular immolation of marshmallow bunny Peeps, centered each year on a different theme. This Easter, the theme of the crime was Robots. One participant, Sengkelat, built this incredible six-legged cardboard robot piloted and crewed by oodles of Just Born Bunnies. Sparked up, the gooey treats achieve a Napalmy intensity unmatched in kitchen pyrotechnics. Sengkelat documents the construction, display, and destruction of the bunny hellbot in three Flickr sets.
That's a hell of a lot of effort to put into something you're going to light on fire.
