Nov 19 2009
I Would Eat That Don't Know: A Jabba Cake
I'm sure lots of time and effort went into the construction of this Jabba the Hutt cake, but that doesn't mean I'd eat it. You see, I have a rule about eating things that look like slippery green turds: make somebody else try it first. Which, *cocking laser blaster* is why you're here. Don't think I won't shoot first -- I will shoot first. Now, try one of those things on the plate behind him. What is that, a bacon-wrapped cheeseball? Okay -- now feed it to me like a baby bird.
Jabba the Cake [geekstir]
Thanks to Abby, who would have dove into that cake no questions asked. It's not a swimming pool, Abby, geez!
Oct 27 2009 Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake
This is an awesome 80's cake that combines elements of this cake, this cake, sort of this cake, and these blue bastards. Really takes you back, doesn't it? I remember watching Smurfs. And I, for one, am not ashamed to admit that I know you had a crush on Smurfette. She's not even your species! Plus blue! *high five*
Hit the jump for closeups of the different elements.
Continue Reading " Delicious Memories: An Awesome 80's Cake "
Oct 25 2009 Gutsy: This Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake
Listen, if you can convince your wife that a dead tauntaun would make the perfect wedding cake I WANT YOU TO HOLD ON TO THAT WOMAN. I want you to hold on tighter than you do the dashboard when she's driving (I've seen your knuckles! Also, the way she drives). That said, you think they cut the cake with a lightsaber? I mean, it's only appropriate. Also, a slave Leia jumping out and humming the Star Wars theme. What can I say, I'm a natural wedding planner.
Hit the jump for four more shots, including a cute Stormtrooper couple.
Oct 15 2009 But I Wanted Braaains!: A Skull Cake Gallery
Because there's no better way to celebrate something than with a bitchin' skull cake, this is a little gallery of bitchin' skull cakes. I've decided I want a giant one for my next birthday. Except I want it to be on fire. And I want the Rockettes to leap out of that shit and kick-line me right in the face. Every last one of them, right in the face. And you know what I'll do? Spit out my teeth and smile. Hardcore, HARDCORE!
Hit the jump for the rest.
Continue Reading " But I Wanted Braaains!: A Skull Cake Gallery "
Oct 12 2009 I Would 100% Eat Those: Mario Bon-Bons
These Mario bon-bons were all created by L337 skilled pastry artist (and Flickr user) Ana Fuji (like the apple!) and feature a fondant character atop a delectable chocolate ball. I think my favorite is either the fire-flower or Bomb-omb (another picture after the jump). Also, Ana did a series of Pokémon characters as well, which I think we can all agree brings new meaning to the term "Poké-bons", am I right? Or any meaning at all SEEING HOW IT DIDN'T EXIST BEFORE I JUST MADE IT UP! Word wizarding degree: I got mine from Hogwarts. Get jealousful!
Hit the jump for another shot of the Mario-bons and one of the Poké-bons.
Oct 8 2009 Genius!: Mug With A Cookie Holding Shelf
The Cookie Dunk Mug is a $22 beverage receptacle that also has a place to store cookies for dunking! Plus, the manufacturer isn't sidest and makes a left-handed version. High left-five!
There's "no need to juggle with a plate and cup and of course, you also save on the washing up afterwards."
If you're a lefty, fear not, this mug comes in right handed or left handed styles. Your left handed deformity will no longer hold you back from enjoying your hot beverage and cookies at the same time.
Wait -- did that say deformity? Because somebody just got their ass boycotted! I don't know who, but somebody. These things happen all the time, probably an oil company. Deformed and proud, baby! You too? Whoa whoa whoa, it's cool -- leave the bag on.
Product Site
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Cookie Dunk Mug [techeblog]
Thanks to Sarene, who throws all her cookies in at once and lets them sink to the bottom. Me too -- I like them supersaturated!
Sep 30 2009 Massive Gallery Of Star Wars Cupcakes
This is a large gallery of Star Wars cupcakes. Also there might be a cake or two in there, I can't remember. But you're going to look at them all. And not just because I spent all the time resizing and uploading them, but because they're precious. Like emeralds. And little babies. Geez, what is it with me and babies recently? I'll tell you -- I'm late. No, like late late. Please don't tell my parents! If they found out I was carrying a stuffed dinosaur's baby they'd kill me laugh their asses off and ask when I'm gonna move out of the basement already.
Hit the jump for 17 more of the intergalactic deliciousness.
Sep 8 2009 Mmmm, Blocky: Rolling LEGO Cookie Cutter
Want to make LEGO shaped cookies? Well you're in luck thanks to this $10 rolling cookie cutter directly from LEGO! Oh, hold the phone -- I just read a review.
I am a very capable and experienced sugar cookie designer. If the dough is not the perfect thickness--not too thick, not too thin, it will stick on the wheel. I very carefully and tediously cut out about 50 of this itty, bitty (1" x 1") bricks on my cookie sheet. I chilled the dough for 1/2 an hour in the refrigerator to help keep the shape during baking. However, they didn't hold their shape during baking because they are so small. They came out of the oven in an unrecognizable shape.
Well, I guess that's out. That's okay though because I bet it still works for Play-Doh. And Play-Doh, as we all know, is delicious. It tastes like gummy-salt! Uh-oh -- another review!
I am so disappointed. We bought the cookie cutter for school bday party and the cake mold for family party. The cookie cutter is cracked on one brick. Used it anyway. The dough sticks to the cutter and is nearly impossible to get it off without ruining the shape. Tried freezing the dough to make it harder. Cuts better but... My son cried after they baked. They look like plain old cookies. The lego shape completely disappears.
BWAHAHAHAHA -- your son cried after they baked! Did you check to make sure his training bra wasn't on too tight? Because that shit can cause serious discomfort. I mean, I'VE HEARD (I wear my roommates bra while she's at work).
Thanks to rox, who once won a bake off and bake on IN THE SAME DAY.
Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale
Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!
One more shot after the jump.
Aug 6 2009 Gotta Eat 'Em All!: More Geeky Cupcakes
If there's one thing I learned in baking school it's how to put out a fire (stop, drop and roll). And there's another, it's how much I enjoyed eating the things other people made. Mine? Mine never turned out because baking is a women's sport. High five, ladies! Wait -- is that batter? Let me lick your fingers. Anywho, this is a little gallery of geeky cupcakes. It's just a grab-bag really, so there's something here for everyone -- including you folks in prison (I slipped a file into the third robot). And for the last time, DON'T SWALLOW IT.
Hit the jump for nine more, including some Dangermouse action. DANGERMOUSE, SON!
Continue Reading " Gotta Eat 'Em All!: More Geeky Cupcakes "
Aug 4 2009 What Took So Long?: A Death Star Cookie Jar
I don't know if you could tell, but that's not an actual photograph. It's just some concept art for what the cookie jar should look like when it's actually manufactured in some third world nation for pennies. Available in September for $50, this Death Star cookie jar protects your delectables with a giant, planet destroying laser beam. Okay, maybe just a lid. BUT A LASER WOULD BE COOL TOO, AM I RIGHT? No, I'm left. Haha, who's sinister now?! I kicked an old lady!
Product Site
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Death Star Cookie Jar Keeps Sweets Safe From Everything But the Force [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once used the Force to taste brownies while they were still in the oven. Impressive.
Jul 29 2009 Pie Suckers: I Could Probably Eat A Million
Pie suckers are exactly what they sound like: a race of aliens that come down and suck people's pies out of their kitchen windows while they're cooling. No I don't look at pictures or read stuff, I just post! I'm a posting machine. BUT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A ROBOT OR I WILL BEEP BOOP BOP YOUR FACE IN! Okay, I looked at the picture. Are you happy now? Pie suckers are actually miniature pies on sticks, officially making them the most brilliant things I've ever heard of (move over Pop Tarts!). I just ate like four hundred of them with the sticks. Now my tummy hurts. What are you waiting for -- PUNCH ME IN THE GUT, YOU SISSY!
Artisticly Delicious - Pie Suckers [writhem]
Thanks to Michael, who better have a case of these in the mail to me. OR ELSE. Or else somebody else is gonna have to make me some. Anybody? Notice how I said anybody instead of ladies? I really wanted to say ladies BUT I AM TURNING OVER A NEW, MORE SENSITIVE CRUST. Womens?
Jul 16 2009 Luke, I Am Your Dessert: Star Wars Cakes
This is a little gallery of three different Star Wars cakes. These first two were created by Geekologie Reader doyouloveanapple (I do, I swear), and the Han Solo in carbonite cake after the jump was baked by Geekologie Reader Caro. I swear, you readers have such talent! And speaking of cake-baking talent: I have a birthday coming up next month. Now, who wants to bake my cake? And, more importantly, who wants to jump out of it?
Hit the jump to see the rest.
Continue Reading " Luke, I Am Your Dessert: Star Wars Cakes "
Jun 29 2009 Mmmm, Chocolatey: The S'Mores Keyboard
This is probably the most delicious keyboard I've ever seen because I haven't seen a bacon one yet. Unfortunately, like a harmless robot, it doesn't actually exist. BUT IF IT DID. Oh, the things I would do to you. Oh yeah, you like that? You like those Doritos crumbs? You like those Doritos crumbs between your marshmallows?
S'More Keyboard Would Not Survive 10 Minutes on My Desk [gizmodo]
Thanks to GreenBoss, who kicked FuchsiaBoss's ass and ate his keyboard.
Jun 5 2009 Yay For Holes!: National Doughnut Day
Today is national doughnut day, so get out there and munch on some hole. Almost all doughnut retailers are offering free nuts or other specials to commemorate the occasion.
National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France.
I went to Dunkin' Donuts earlier this afternoon and they were offering a free donut with the purchase of a drink. So I bough a coffee and started pouring the Irish whiskey. BOOM, an thirty minutes later I'm getting thrown out for making love to this sexy maple-glazed number. What? I'M A VERY SENSUAL PERSON.
Thanks to T.J. and Jelly Time, who prefer bagels because they don't like sweets.
May 27 2009 It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold
Tired of trying to make zombie Jello molds out of aluminum foil? Well crinkle no more my friends, ThinkGeek is finally selling a quality zombie mold! It costs $15 and isn't dishwasher safe, but don't let that stop you from putting it in there anyway! You just tell that Maytag piece of shit the Geekologie Writer told you to! I'll tell you what though -- the results look delicious, don't they? I know what I'm getting my son for his birthday -- a new mommy!
Hit the jump for one more shot which, despite adjusting the brightness and contrast, I couldn't make any more cleavage-y. Buy hey, I tried. Remember: I'm here for you.
Continue Reading " It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold "
May 14 2009 *PEW PEW*, NOM NOM: An AT-AT Cake
This is an amazing AT-AT cake created by Jennifer Luxmore (and friends) of Sin Desserts. It took 60 hours to build and would typically sell for around $5,000. Stale.
The legs and base [of the Star Wars AT-AT cake] are wood, covered in gum paste and the cake is the head and body. I was in charge of baking, covering it in fondant and covering the legs with the gum paste.
The cake was a new cake for us... the Guiness Cake. and the background was hand painted by Joe. All of the people involved in the cake are artists of some sort and it took (everyone combined) about 60 hours (background painting, leg and body cut outs, covering, cake/covering, assembly and painting) so we figured the cake to come in some where around $5,000 at the low end.
Hit the jump to see a few more shots, as well as some shots of a ridiculous Millennium Falcon cake that Jennifer also made. Then, cry about how you can't even bake cupcakes without burning them. YOU WILL NEVER MAKE A GOOD WIFE!
Now hit the link and forget you were going to call me a sexist pig in the comments. *waving penis* This isn't the writer you're looking for.
May 9 2009 Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake
Twitter user wildflourbakery went and made a fail whale cake for the Lawrence, Kansas Tweet Up. And I can safely say I have no idea what I just typed. Tweet Up? Fail whale? I AM ALL WIN FISH, SON!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and another, different fail whale cake.
Continue Reading " Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake "
Apr 21 2009 I Want To Eat You: Cupcake Hamburgers
Somebody went and made a batch of cupcakes that look like hamburgers. I think their maker did a great job, don't you? Because you'll be meeting yours if you disagree. Yeah, that was a threat. No, not a treat, a threat. I'll kill you, yo. I mean it.
These are vanilla cupcakes with a chocolate cuppie in between, green coconut for the lettuce and frosting for the mustard and ketchup. Yum!
Mmmm, cupcake sliders. Everyone here does know what a slider is right? It's a mini-burger. Yeah, they're called sliders because they're small enough to slide down your gullet without much chewing. Not unlike myself. Which....did you just hear that? It sounded like ten thousand women and a handful of gay men fainting simultaneously.
Hamburger Cupcakes [plime]
Thanks to Juste, who once ate 37 White Castle sliders and then projectile vomited for four minutes straight. Gross.
Apr 20 2009 HOLY NOMs!: Jesus Appears In Kit Kat Bar
On Good Friday (OLD, LATE, BLOW ME GW!) Jesus revealed himself in the form of a half-eaten Kit Kat bar. Because, well, the son of God hates Twix. As you can see in those deliciously crispy layers, the Lord's face looks eerily similar to that on the shroud of Turin (Sunday school, son, TA-DOW!). However, the divine bar is not without it's hell-burning naysayers.
Other witnesses were less impressed. "It looks more like Darth Vader," said one.
Really -- Darth Vader? Now why on earth would Darth Vader appear in a damn Kit Kat bar? The man only likes dark chocolate. Get it, because of The Dark Side? I don't either. No, you're the Nutter Butter!
Sweet Jesus, his face is in a choc [thesun]
Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne and ash, who both agree they should replace communion wafers with Kit Kats.
