Aug 21 2009 Uh-Oh: Gamers More Likely To Be Depressed

No that isn't me. That is a sad gamer. You see, a recent study found that gamers are more likely to be depressed than non-gamers. Shocking, I know.

The average gamer is 35, overweight, and more likely to be depressed, says a new study conducted by researchers at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

The study, which was carried out in the Seattle-Tacoma area, found that gamers reported "lower extraversion, consistent with research on adolescents that linked video-game playing to a sedentary lifestyle and overweight status, and to mental-health concerns."

Oh yeah? Well I'm only 28, overweight and depressed. So put that in your study and smoke it like a bong (BLUBLBLUBLBLUBLBLUBLUB)!

Study: Games are depressing...or are they? [yahoo]

Thanks to Matt, who is like a giraffe in a potato sack.

Jan 31 2009 Cheers To You!: Sadly Not A Drinking Game

Many of you have probably already seen this since it was featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show, but for those of you who haven't -- Cheers To You!

Hit the jump for the much better metal-remix.

Continue Reading " Cheers To You!: Sadly Not A Drinking Game "

Jun 25 2008 Sky Ceilings: Like Sky Lights, But Depressing

Sky Ceilings are probably an old as hell idea. So old. Your mommy probably read you a news story about them when you were a child. Yet, here they are -- weird. Sky Ceilings were designed to mimic daylight and change with the time of day from sun up to sun down. They're for people like me that work in Cubeville and don't see the light of day unless they sneak up to the roof and contemplate jumping. Which I do frequently. The sidewalk just looks so appetizing from up here. Oh -- here comes The Superficial Writer, late as always and trying to sneak in the side door. *hooccckkkkkkkk*

Sky Ceilings make you feel like you're outside even when you're not [dvice]

Jun 17 2008 Robotic Girlfriend For Lonely Men Seems Highly Questionable, Lowly Statured

E.M.A. (Eternal Maiden Actualization, seriously?) is a 15-inch Japanese robot developed by SEGA to keep lonely men company and help combat loneliness and depression. She'll cost about $175 and hits the streets (like a hooker!) in September.

Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named "EMA" puckers up for nearby human heads, entering what designers call its "love mode."

She's very lovable and though she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

EMA, which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization, can also hand out business cards, sing and dance, with Sega hoping to sell 10,000 in the first year.

Ah yes, the 15-inch robotic girlfriend. Listen, a girlfriend made out of plastic and metal, no matter how much you inflate her, just isn't a real girlfriend. Even if she comes with vibration modes and "life-like" parts, it's just not the same. Trust me. And this little robot is no different. Although, for the sake of science, I will suspend disappointment and give her a go.

UPDATE: Cleanup in aisle The Bed! Little bits of plastic everywhere. That robot is a freak in the sack! Highly recommended. SEGA, I'm gonna need a replacement. And, well, another Dreamcast. The robot broke before I was finished and I wanted to keep the experience all SEGA.

Japan makes robot girlfriend for lonely men [msnbc]

Thanks Matt and Ro, I've never been more scared of a little robotic woman before.

Jun 12 2008 Robotic Dog Better Than The Real Thing For Combating Loneliness In Old Folks

Researchers at St. Louis University are using Aibo, a discontinued (maulings) robot dog from Sony to study how a robotic pet can alleviate loneliness in old folks. According to their study, a dog made out of metal and plastic is just as good as a real puppy. And possible even better since they could be fitted with sensors and shit to take a patient's pulse, blood pressure, savings account, etc. The video is a must watch, as the old people are the cutest bunch of nuts I've ever seen. I'm still skeptical about the whole robotic dog thing though. I mean, some crazy old bat brings a Big Dog home, and the next thing you know, dead old people everywhere. And then who would AOL sell their internet services to?

Robot Dog Therapy [sciencentral]

Thanks to Shawn, who knows how much I love old people and hate robots

Sep 12 2007 Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness

Dr. Whippy is an ice cream machine with a twist. It uses voice stress analysis to determine a user's degree of unhappiness based on a list of predetermined questions, and then gives the sad bastard an appropriate amount of ice cream. More yummy goodness the sadder you are. I can see it now, my girlfriend tearing the damn thing open and faceplanting right in the ice cream bucket. Not because she's depressed, but because she loves ice cream and is fat. As hell.

Dr. Whippy Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness [uberreview]