Nov 20 2009 Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice
I can't even imagine weaving bacon so tight as to not let liquid (well, molten cheese) through, but apparently somebody did. My hat oven mitts are off to you, bacon mug maker. Cause one time I tried weaving bacon and it didn't even make a solid placemat. It did, however, make a solid after-school snack. Kidding, I'm vegetarian. Did you feel that? That was your head imploding.
Bacon Beer Mug [thisisfreakingridiculous]
Thanks to Profound, mike469x, Dominican Joe, Freedom and KilgoreTrout XL, one of which is Kurt Vonnegut's plus-size alter-ego, the other three of which are fighting over who gets to eat the cup.
Nov 20 2009 Takes All Kinds: Machete-Wielding Taco Thief
The latest in a string of taco-related violence, a masked marauder in Illinois held up another man at machete-point and demanded the poor chap's tacos. Admit it -- if you'd have had a machete you would have done the same thing!
Elgin Deputy Police Chief Jeff Swoboda says a local resident was walking back to his vehicle Sunday night after buying 16 tacos for $41 when a man wearing a black ski mask and a hooded sweat shirt ran up to him.
Swoboda says the masked man waved a machete and took the tacos, but nothing else. He then drove off in an older-model light green car.
Wait a minute -- $41 for 16 tacos? Those must be some good-ass tacos! Say, this gives me an idea. *rummaging through closet for ninja-sword* Ow, shit! Shit shit shit shit shit. Cut myself.
Machete-wielding man steals tacos [abcnews]
Thanks to Annie, who won't cut anyone for anything less than a burrito. *phew*
Oct 25 2009 I'd Wash My Mouth Out With It: Bacon Soap
This bacon soap isn't just bacon shaped, it's made with bacon fat. But how do you keep yourself from eating it in the shower? I don't think you can!
Soap can be made from just about any kind of fat. Even though fat from bacon, called lard, isn't the finest of fats to use for making soap, it somehow seemed to be the most exciting. Why? Because bacon is amazing. It has an almost mystical power to it and is a food that can be craved to almost no end. I figured what better way use the extra grease I had from cooking bacon then to turn it into soap!
If you want make some, there's an Instructable posted with all the details you need to Tyler Durden it up yourself. Unfortunately, I could never do it -- I like to drink all the fat out of pan after cooking. It scalds so good!
How to Make Bacon Soap [instructables]
Thanks to naas, who once made fried chicken soap and ate a thigh and two drumsticks sitting on the can one morning.
Oct 12 2009 I Would 100% Eat Those: Mario Bon-Bons
These Mario bon-bons were all created by L337 skilled pastry artist (and Flickr user) Ana Fuji (like the apple!) and feature a fondant character atop a delectable chocolate ball. I think my favorite is either the fire-flower or Bomb-omb (another picture after the jump). Also, Ana did a series of Pokémon characters as well, which I think we can all agree brings new meaning to the term "Poké-bons", am I right? Or any meaning at all SEEING HOW IT DIDN'T EXIST BEFORE I JUST MADE IT UP! Word wizarding degree: I got mine from Hogwarts. Get jealousful!
Hit the jump for another shot of the Mario-bons and one of the Poké-bons.
Oct 8 2009 More Sprinkles!: Custom $25K Cupcake Cars
These are three examples of custom cupcake cars that Neimen Marcus is selling for Christmas this year. Each cake will set you back $25K, but makes the perfect gift for the Lollypop Guild member on your list who has everything. Plus, they come with matching hats!
Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the 'hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What's it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood...and mad genius. Launched at Burning Man as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors.
Yeah, if I ever see a cupcake driving down the sidewalk I'm swearing off drugs forever. Except alcohol. Which, fun fact: I'm petitioning to be included in the food pyramid. STOP FIGHTING IT, FDA!
Sep 30 2009 Massive Gallery Of Star Wars Cupcakes
This is a large gallery of Star Wars cupcakes. Also there might be a cake or two in there, I can't remember. But you're going to look at them all. And not just because I spent all the time resizing and uploading them, but because they're precious. Like emeralds. And little babies. Geez, what is it with me and babies recently? I'll tell you -- I'm late. No, like late late. Please don't tell my parents! If they found out I was carrying a stuffed dinosaur's baby they'd kill me laugh their asses off and ask when I'm gonna move out of the basement already.
Hit the jump for 17 more of the intergalactic deliciousness.
Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale
Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!
One more shot after the jump.
Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento
This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.
The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.
Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!
Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]
Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.
Aug 24 2009 Sure, Why Not?: A Tetris Haircut Design
This is a guy with a Tetris themed shaving in the side of his head. The rest of his hair has got kind of a rainbow motif. I suspect he's French. And, not unlike that toast of theirs, delicious. Syrup me!
Hit the jump for a couple more.
Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: A Tetris Haircut Design "
Aug 11 2009 Eh: World's Largest BLT Is Fairly Large
The record for the world's largest BLT (bacon, lettuce and tomato) sandwich was broken over the weekend with a massive baconator that would made even Wilbur proud. But NOT that stupid talking spider. I'm looking at you, Charlotte. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE ON ME?!?
At the fifth annual Tomato Fest in St. Louis, Tom Coghill and 90 volunteers put together a BLT that stretched 179 feet, two inches, breaking the world record for the biggest bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. They used 500 pounds of bacon, 1,280 pounds of tomatoes, and 100 heads of lettuce.
Eh, I dunno. It looks like they could have made it twice as long if they didn't make it so wide (like me -- lunch ladies?). Also, who cares about making the longest sandwich, I want the record for the tallest one. Because one time I made a peanut butter, banana, honey, graham cracker, marshmallow fluff and chocolate syrup sandwich that reached TO THE MOON. Yeah, unicorns and rainbows helped me eat it and then I found a leprechaun's gold and blew it all on hookers. True story. Except for the hookers, BECAUSE I DON'T PAY FOR SEX. Anymore. Starting after tonight.
Making the World's Longest BLT at Iron Barley, 8.9.09 [riverfronttimes] (with a ton more pictures and information about the build)
via
World Record Bacon Sandwich [neatorama]
Thanks to Eric, who wants to build the world's sexiest sandwich. Piece of cake, Eric: slap yourself between these buns and we'll call it a record. Invite a friend and we can make a club!
Aug 7 2009 Yes, Please!: ChefStack Pancake Machine Cranks Out 200 Pancakes Every Hour
The ChefStack Pancake Machine is my dream come true and can produce up to 200 golden brown patties from heaven every hour IN THREE DIFFERENT SIZES. WEEEEEEOH WEEEEEOH WEEEEEOH! Sorry, that was an ambulance passing. Where were we? Oh yes, I LOVE PANCAKES. One time I even had some with blueberries in them. They were good -- BUT NOT AS GOOD AS THE ONES WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SPRINKLES! You just throw a bag of batter (pancake only, please) in the machine and you'll be neck deep in circular syrup receptacles before you can say, "Remember when Vito turned out to be gay and made out with Johnny Cakes towards the end of The Sopranos? I thought that was romantic." Aaaaaand now I want some johnnycakes.
Thanks to twellve and Mih0, who prefer their pancakes made the old fashioned way: with real cocaine.
Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food
Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!
Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!
Jul 29 2009 Pie Suckers: I Could Probably Eat A Million
Pie suckers are exactly what they sound like: a race of aliens that come down and suck people's pies out of their kitchen windows while they're cooling. No I don't look at pictures or read stuff, I just post! I'm a posting machine. BUT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A ROBOT OR I WILL BEEP BOOP BOP YOUR FACE IN! Okay, I looked at the picture. Are you happy now? Pie suckers are actually miniature pies on sticks, officially making them the most brilliant things I've ever heard of (move over Pop Tarts!). I just ate like four hundred of them with the sticks. Now my tummy hurts. What are you waiting for -- PUNCH ME IN THE GUT, YOU SISSY!
Artisticly Delicious - Pie Suckers [writhem]
Thanks to Michael, who better have a case of these in the mail to me. OR ELSE. Or else somebody else is gonna have to make me some. Anybody? Notice how I said anybody instead of ladies? I really wanted to say ladies BUT I AM TURNING OVER A NEW, MORE SENSITIVE CRUST. Womens?
Jul 17 2009 WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic
A 12-mile long trail of unknown biological goo has been spotted off the coast of Alaska. Personally, it looks like robot love-oil to me (don't ask how I know). *ahem* I'm looking at you, Optimus.
"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.
"It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism.""It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.
ZOMG, it's the North Carolina sewer mutant's illegitimate older cousin! Now I'm not saying I want to deep fry some and include it in my Octo-taco-pancrepe-pizza, because I don't. But I would smear some all over your body and lick it off. God, am I romantic or what?
Hit the jump for a picture of a bucketful of the gunk.
Continue Reading " WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic "
Jul 13 2009 You Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine: Cheeseburger Bed For Sale On eBay
Relax my little lambs, I'm alive. I apologize for not being able to post this past weekend but I've been traveling and am staying at a place with no internet (heathens!). Currently, I'm bringing Geekologie to you from an undisclosed public library near Miami, Florida (COME FIND ME, I DARE YOU!). So yeah, I didn't die and I'm sorry, okay? I swear I'll make it up to you. Nudie pics? You got em. And whatever you female readers would like as well.
So, remember the hamburger bed story Geekologie broke earlier this year? WELL IT'S FOR SALE ON EBAY AND I AM GONNA BE SLEEPING BETWEEN THOSE BUNS IN NO TIME! Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide under that 8-foot sesame seedy goodness with yours truly? I'm quicker than fast food all Kobe beef, just sayin'.
Thanks to Kayla, who actually made the bed. What do you say, Kayla, one last romp in the burger? And to Aaron, who can watch but not touch.
Jul 1 2009
eBay: The Ocarina of Time All White Meat
Lucky McDonalds customer 0iz0 just so happened to score the most covered of all chicken strips: the Ocarina of Thigh.
The shining beam of light accompanied by the melodic Zelda jingle blared out of the chicken select treasure box that was handed to me by a late night, tired, acne infested teenage boy as I opened it and discovered what lay in wait for me. Anyone who is a true Zelda fan must get this precious gem of unintentional craftsmanship! It will help you find your Zelda roots, and be just as much of a heroic mastermind as Link! Don't pass this opportunity, for I am certain you will be able to make great music and friends with this golden nugget!
This is your chance to own a piece of history!Do not eat
*Licking fingers* Sorry, what was that last bit? TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT!
eBay Auction
Thanks to VinnyC, who just played the Song of Deliciousness.
Jun 26 2009 It Buuuuuurns!: India To Make Chili Grenades
India's Defense Research and Development Organization has plans to start manufacturing hot chili grenades. Hot chili grenades are exactly what they sound like: hot. chili. grenades.
Indian defence scientists are planning to put one of the world's hottest chilli powders into hand grenades.
They say the devices will be used to control rioters and in counter-insurgency operations.The chilli, known as Bhut Jolokia, is said to be 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chilli.
Wow, this might very well be the second most delicious grenade I've ever heard of. But NOTHING tops a good tear-gas grenade. I eat sadness!
India plans hot chilli grenades [bbcnews]
Thanks to i like it spicy, whose urine can melt concrete.
Jun 25 2009 Invention Of The Century: In-Car Pizza Oven
I think I speak for us all when I say, it's about damn time. This 12-volt pizza oven plugs right into a car's cigarette lighter or power point so you can cook a breakfast pizza on your commute to work. Or a dinner pizza on your way home! Or burn your car to the ground! The $36 oven is a real product and I just bought two. One for the front seat, and one for the kids in the back. What in the -- damnit kids, I smell burning army men! *sniff* I'm just so proud.
portable pizza oven lets you cook-a nice-a pizz-a pie in a moving car [technabob]
Thanks to FDSY and gnome king, who cook their pizzas on the radiator like normal people.
Jun 25 2009 Now That's Good Eats: 2-Inch Thick Pizza
This is a picture of a slice of pizza with 2-inches of delicious deliciousness piled on. I don't understand the logistics of even cooking a pizza with 2-inches of topping, but I do understand the logistics of eating one. GET INSIDE ME. It buuuuurns!
What we got here is a fantastic pizza with 2 inches of topping. I used three kinds of cheese (around 400g in total), 400g ham, 200g salami, 700g pineapple, 200g shrimp, spices, tomato paste and 200g of button mushroom.
Mmmm, did anyone else just puke in their mouth? I know I did. It was Lucky Charms-y!
Pizza with 2 inches of topping [metrobloggen]
Thanks to Bernie, who likes his pizza with 4-inches of topping. Jesus, Bernie, that's almost a foot.
Jun 16 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Beer Pouches
CarboPouches are pouches made to be filled with delicious life-nectar. They were designed by the Beverage Pouch Group (not to be confused with Capri-Sun) for nanobreweries (read: you) that don't want to invest in expensive bottling equipment.
The best part is the "organoleptic film structure" that doesn't change the taste of the beer at all. The slightly flexible pouch gives the beer room to fizz, and it's easy to fill with the cap on the bottom.
I don't care if they find out organoleptic film causes cancer, I am gonna drink the hell out of these beer pouches. BEER ON THE GO BABY. Move over, disposable coffee cup!
Beer in a pouch doesn't add metallic tastes, easy to fill [dvice]
Thanks to Romeo, who drinks his beer the way God intended: all day long.
