Nov 18 2009 You're Gonna Burn In Hell!: Dino Car Decal
Listen, I'm not here to tell you to follow Jesus or smoke buddha or whatever, I'm just here to report the things I see and maybe make a couple drug connections in the process. And this is a 'dinosaur eating the Jesus fish' car decal. Love it or hate it, you've got to admit it's the first time you've ever seen a t-rex holding something with its little arms. And THAT, my friends, is biblical.
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Thanks to Logisticz and martyn, who are pissed dinosaurs didn't make it onto the ark. Me too guys, me too.
Nov 17 2009 DO WANT: Dinosaur Hatchling Ornaments
Just look at that cute little devil wrapped up all tight in his egg! It's like he's a little present himself -- all he needs is a bow! Show your strictly platonic dino-love this holiday season with this $14 Brachiosaurus hatchling ornament from the Big Bad Toy Store. They make the perfect Christmas momento for children and adults who never stopped loving dinos alike. Unfortunately, I want a REAL dino hatchling for Christmas. I'm talking from my loins. Godzilla, Falkor, Puff, Barney -- one of you better immaculate concept me. DO IT NOW!
Dinosauria Hatching Egg Ornament [nerdapproved]
Thanks to Naja, who better have gotten me a season pass to Jurassic Park.
Nov 12 2009 Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa?
Tired of those creepy little gnomes hanging out in your garden? Well how about a creepy little Jawa?! Available for pre-order from the StarWarsShop, the $35 lawn ornament is certain to draw attention to your flower beds and eventually be stolen/broken by punk-ass teenagers.
* Crafted in solid resin, this fully painted Jawa is ready - rain or shine
* Exclusively available at StarWarsShop
* Measures close to a foot in height
* Sculpted in a chunky, garden gnome-like styleShips Worldwide, except Mexico
Sorry Mexico, no Garden Jawas for you. Wait, why? Here, I'll give you a hint: it starts with GEORGE and ends with LUCAS IS A PUDGY BIGOT. You heard it here first! Unless his lawyers contact me, in which case this was all a direct quote from some other blog.
Hit the jump for two shots of Jawas hanging out in unnatural habitats.
Continue Reading " Forget Gnomes, How About A Garden Jawa? "
Oct 19 2009 DO WANT: Tyrannosaurus Rex Wall Decals
This $45 Tyrannosaurs Rex wall decal is available from Etsy seller lildecalshoppe (who will make you any decal you want) and is definitely something I'd never tire of waking up next to. Also, a box of Thin Mints.
* Made from 7 year high quality vinyl * Measures 65 x 45 inches * Available in many other colors. Please email color choice or black will be sent.
We use a durable high grade matte finish vinyl which gives a painted look and feel to your wall. Decals are self adhesive making them easy to apply and remove, leaving no residue behind. This material is specifically made for interior walls and will last a very long time indoors.
7 year vinyl? They're aging their vinyl! If that's not a sign of quality I don't know what is. Because one time I drank 12-year old bourbon and then when I was puking it felt like I was breathing fire. DAMN YEAH JUST LIKE BOWSER!
Thanks to twellve, who is totally gonna get one for her new nephew. Jealous!
Oct 13 2009 Genius: The 100' Extension Cord Coil Lamp
Craighton Berman may or may not own stock in an extension cord company (I think he does), but he did design the Coil Lamp, a lamp constructed of an acrylic frame around which you wrap a 100' electric cord.
When fully-assembled, the Coil Lamp is a striking addition to any room, but when you look at the raw elements of the lamp, you'll be scratching your head saying "that's all there is?" This is truly a case where the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.
You can order the Coil Lamp over at Craighton Berman's website. The D.I.Y. version (B.Y.O. extension cord) retails for $75 (USD), while a hand-coiled edition, signed and numbered by the artist sells for $150 bucks.
Impressive, Craighton (can I call you Craig?), but what happens when, oh I dunno, an unruly blogger bites through the corn?! Did I say corn -- I meant cord. Damnit, now all I can think about is Mexican-style corn on the cob. Curse you, obesity!
Hit the jump for a shot of the lamp on and a picture of the unassembled unit.
Continue Reading " Genius: The 100' Extension Cord Coil Lamp "
Oct 5 2009 Delicious Light: DIY Bacon Strip Lampshade
Bacon, perhaps the most versatile tool on the planet (suck it, duct tape!), can be fashioned into just about anything. Including, but not limited to: guns and lube. And what more does a person really need (besides the love of a good woman and maybe a pet)?!
Anyway, Flickr user Kris Kelley went and made a lampshade out of bacon slices and posted a little picture tutorial. And one thing's for certain: I bet it smells divine when it heats up! Plus, 10 to 1 odds your dog eats the whole lamp first you leave the house. Ever seen a dog pass an electric cord? It's something you don't forget.
Thanks to jessica, who gamma radiated a pig in the hopes of creating naturally glowing bacon. Unfortunately, it just turns green and beats the shit out of things when it gets mad.
Sep 21 2009 Sexy Japanese Lap Pillow Is An Actual Lap
This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.
This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.
And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!
Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.
Jun 16 2009 You + Me - Clothes + Mario = Romance
This handmade bed blanket was created by Etsy seller punzie and looks great (punzie also does custom work and has a bunch of other designs if you look in the sold items section). Granted, it would look even better with you underneath it. I'm not talking dead hooker style either, I'm talking real romantical like. What do you say, come over around 8? We'll fire up some oldschool NES, drink some sparkling cider (my parents don't allow alcohol in the house) and then retire to my luxurious twin-size. Oooh, you like a little role playing, do you? Well then, let me just slip into my Raccoon Mario costume. Okay, now pretend you're a garbage can.
Hit the jump for a ton more blankets (including some Zelda, Mega Man and Metroid action) and another link to the Etsy store.
Jun 15 2009 Blocky: Tetris Pots For Growing Grass
These are planters in the form of tetrads. They are equally suited for growing shit or use as cereal bowls. And, because I'm a complete slaya', I've even come up with another use: decoration. Did I just blow your mind? No? THEN WHOSE WAS THAT? Quick -- the lights!
Tetris Goes to Pot [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who grows his 'grass' in old milk jugs like a normal person.
Jun 4 2009 I Like: Conan's New Mario Inspired Backdrop
These are two comparison shots of Conan O'Brien's new Tonight Show stained glass backdrop and the alleged inspiration for said drop. As you can see, it's based on shapes and scenes from the Mushroom Kingdom. So, yeah. I don't watch the Tonight Show though because I go to bed early. Did I say go to bed? I meant pass out drunk. Also, I don't have television. Or internet. So then where do these posts come from? I AM A ROBOT! *BEEP BOP BOOP* TERMINATE, TERMINATE. Kidding! I hate those bastards. And that wasn't a very funny joke to play on you, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better I shit myself writing it.
Conan's New Backdrop Sure Looks Familiar... [gizmodo]
Thanks to Fally, PlayUsOut and Matt, who don't sleep but not because they're vampires. Or are they? Your guess is as good as mine.
May 22 2009 Retro Gaming Refrigerator Magnet Sets
Looking for some retro-gaming flair you can stick to the fridge? Enter MagnetGames' Etsy shop. Seen here is a small sampling of a 22-piece, $30 Super Mario magnet set. Mario not doing it for you? Hit the jump for some Zelda, Pac-Man and Tetris action. Shit, there might even be an $8 cheeseburger coaster set. And no, I didn't just post this because I threatened the maker with future defamation of character unless I got a complimentary Zelda set. Susan, I hope you're reading this.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more and link to the store.
Apr 15 2009 Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture
Tetris furniture: it just makes sense. Furniture is blocky, tetrads are blocky, BOOM-SHACKA-SHAKE'N'BAKE -- Tetris furniture. It's tetradical! Except -- why does that long block have five squares?
Artists Diego Silvério and Helder Filipov have created a beautiful furniture design that uses the Tetris bricks we have all known to both love and hate. The different bricks combined show many different options and ways for gamers to also have a great looking room and profess their utmost love for the original Tetris game.
ZOMG, I want all long pieces! No, wait, squares! And go ahead and throw in some of those L's. Fine, I'll take them all. But for free. Seriously, this is a gun. *PEW PEW* Haha, did I say gun? I meant laser blaster.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the possibilities.
Continue Reading " Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture "
Apr 13 2009 It's Trippy Time!: The Bulbdial Clock
The Bulbdial clock is like a sundial except, instead of the sun, it uses little LEDs to cast shadows from the timepiece's center spoke. Impressively, it casts three different shadows to correspond to the hours, minutes and seconds. It achieves this feat by having three tiers of LEDs, with the highest casting the (red) hour hand (explanatory pictures after the jump).
Additionally, for fun and clarity, we used red, green, and blue LEDs for the three rings, making each shadow hand of the clock a different color. Each ring has 12 LEDs, and the 36 LEDs are efficiently multiplexed by an AVR microcontroller that also handles the timekeeping part of the project.
So it's a a sundial for inside -- awesome! I swear, what will they come up with next? Interactive adult DVDs? Haha, already been done. And not to brag or anything, but I did crack the disk. Ladies?
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the build page.
Mar 6 2009 It's On eeeeeeBay: Pac-Man Neon Light Set
Looking for a set of Pac-Man neon lights for your rumpus room? No? How about the game room? Well you're in luck, because eBay seller JNN2728 is selling them joints! There' a five-piece set available with all the characters you see here, or you can buy them individually. Current bidding for the set is at $151. Bidding on the individual characters is around $10-$30. No idea what they'll actually go for. But a word of warning if you do decide to bid: be careful where you put the Man of Pac, I've heard he likes to munch the carpet -- Ms. Pac-Man too. HIYO, lesbian! Love you women.
Hit the jump for a closeup and a link to the auctions.
Continue Reading " It's On eeeeeeBay: Pac-Man Neon Light Set "
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Jan 23 2009 ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!!
Did I mention it was in the Great Chicago Fire? It was.
2005 Mercedes SLR McLaren, extensive fire damage. It has a lot of usable parts, including:* ENGINE
*TRANSMISION
*EXHAUST SYSTEM
*MOST OF THE FRONT SUSPENSION L+R
* FRONT WHEELS
* AND MANY OTHER MISCELANIOUS PARTS.
Screw it, I'm welding a patio chair to that sucker and calling myself Richy McMoney Burntride. So, uh, can one of you lovely readers float me $44K? Come on -- I'll let you sit on the gas tank and make VROOM VROOM noises!
Hit the jump for two more of the sadness.
Continue Reading " ZOMG, I'm Buying It Now: $250K Mercedes SLR McLaren On Ebay For Only $45K!!! "
Jan 15 2009 Delicious Light: A Gummi Bear Chandelier
Artist YaYa Chou made a chandelier by stringing gummi bears together because, goddamnit, lamps should be functional AND delicious.
Hit the jump for a closeup and a gummi bearskin rug.
Continue Reading " Delicious Light: A Gummi Bear Chandelier "
Dec 23 2008 The Ultimate In Christmas Lighting Effects
I vow to be the guy who puts up the ridiculous Christmas lights every year. But no inflatable decorations. Those things are freaking classless. Unless you have them in your yard, in which case, good looking. But we're talking lights here. We're talking serious exterior illumination. We're talking....Light-O-Rama!
Light-O-Rama is an affordable, computerized lighting system designed to control elaborate or simple lighting displays. The Light-O-Rama system can be applied to almost any lighting situation, from stand-alone controllers to synchronizing hundreds of controllers, motion detectors, animation servos and other devices using a personal computer or master controller. Light-O-Rama controllers are micro-processor based (miniature computers inside) and are equipped to produce a number of great lighting effects such as smooth ramping, cyclic/cross fading, dimming, twinkling and many others.
You heard it here folks, miniature computers inside. You just shell out $2,700 for a 128 channel system, plug in a shit-ton of lights, connect to your PC, and presto, you triple the electric bill and burn your house to the ground. But I think we can all agree: it's a small price to pay for a Youtube video I'll watch every Christmas.
Hit the jump for a picture of a fire waiting to happen and a bunch more classic Christmas lighting videos, most of which are OLD AS HELL.
Continue Reading " The Ultimate In Christmas Lighting Effects "
Dec 22 2008 Instant Decorating: The Christmas Cannon
If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too many dirty jokes and the boubon-soaked skeezeball (trust me, I could smell his breath when I sat on his lap at the mall in '85. Also, I'm now spreading a rumor he touched my butt) passes your apartment. If there's another thing, it's decorating. It's time consuming, and, come May, you have to take everything down again. That's why the Christmas Cannon is so genius. You just lather something in glue, pump up the cannon, and BAM -- you just Christmas'd that shit. It's as easy as shooting yourself in the foot trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Which, haha, is easier than you think (read: I'm missing two toes and have to wear a special shoe).
DIY Christmas Cannon is a Festive Tinsel Explosion [gizmodo]
Nov 17 2008 Tetris Bracelet: Damn You Got Blocky Wrists
Looking for that perfect present for the Tetris fan in your family? How about two free therapy sessions? No? Okay, how about a $70 Tetris bracelet?
This handmade Tetris resin bracelet is embellished with a scene from the classic block-stacking puzzler. Created by Warsaw artist Sylwia Calus (a.k.a. "Sisicata"), its painstakingly detailed with tiny colorful bricks, infused into a clear resin cuff.
I'm not sure what "scene" from the game that is, but it looks like the one where you freaking suck and can't drop a line to save your life from a group of terrorists demanding ransom from you family or they'll kill you. :)
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " Tetris Bracelet: Damn You Got Blocky Wrists "
