Oct 30 2009 I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs
This is a sweet furniture ensemble designed by Vladi Rapaport that features a skull chair, brain ottoman and spine lamp. I want them all. And by all I mean just the skull chair. But I want it throne-sized and it needs to shoot flames.
A collection of products inspired by the Dutch "vanitas" still life paintings from the 16th and 17th century. The characteristic type of symbolic still life painting is the one where the symbols of emptiness, time and death were placed on the canvas as a reminder of the vanity of one's earthly life.
Listen, I don't know about Dutch symbolism or whatever but I do know an ottoman I want to kick the hell out of when I see one. And that brain, my dear Watson, is one such ottoman. *kick kick* You like that? You will never build an empire!
Hit the jump for one more shot of the awesome.
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Oct 26 2009 Homeless Style: Cardboard Print Bed Covers
Ever wanted a bedspread that's printed to look like a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together? Who hasn't!? And one that looks like a snake pit, am I right? No -- just me? What the hell's the matter with you people?
This high quality duvet cover features a photographic print of a cardboard box. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.
The cotton has a thread count of 144 threads per square inch, so it's soft to the touch virtually non-iron. The duvet cover is produced in Pakistan and child labour is not used.30% of the gross profits go to Centrepoint, the UK charity for homeless young people aged 16-25 (charity number 292411). Every night Centrepoint provides support and housing for 800 vulnerable homeless young people.
I actually kind of like it, and $81 for a king size ain't bad (plus $10/pillowcase). Of course, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do if you try bringing a girl home. Namely, why there's a homeless person sleeping in your room. I'm a drifter, okay?!
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who made a quilt out of trashbags but it blew away and got stuck on top of a light pole.
Oct 19 2009 DO WANT: Tyrannosaurus Rex Wall Decals
This $45 Tyrannosaurs Rex wall decal is available from Etsy seller lildecalshoppe (who will make you any decal you want) and is definitely something I'd never tire of waking up next to. Also, a box of Thin Mints.
* Made from 7 year high quality vinyl * Measures 65 x 45 inches * Available in many other colors. Please email color choice or black will be sent.
We use a durable high grade matte finish vinyl which gives a painted look and feel to your wall. Decals are self adhesive making them easy to apply and remove, leaving no residue behind. This material is specifically made for interior walls and will last a very long time indoors.
7 year vinyl? They're aging their vinyl! If that's not a sign of quality I don't know what is. Because one time I drank 12-year old bourbon and then when I was puking it felt like I was breathing fire. DAMN YEAH JUST LIKE BOWSER!
Thanks to twellve, who is totally gonna get one for her new nephew. Jealous!
Mar 6 2009 It's On eeeeeeBay: Pac-Man Neon Light Set
Looking for a set of Pac-Man neon lights for your rumpus room? No? How about the game room? Well you're in luck, because eBay seller JNN2728 is selling them joints! There' a five-piece set available with all the characters you see here, or you can buy them individually. Current bidding for the set is at $151. Bidding on the individual characters is around $10-$30. No idea what they'll actually go for. But a word of warning if you do decide to bid: be careful where you put the Man of Pac, I've heard he likes to munch the carpet -- Ms. Pac-Man too. HIYO, lesbian! Love you women.
Hit the jump for a closeup and a link to the auctions.
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Mar 6 2009 FAKE!: Magnetic Photoshop Picture Boards
From meninos, the same company that's bringing us tampon flash drives, comes some Photoshop/Illustrator picture boards. They're basically magnetic whiteboards that come with magnet sets that look like the various Photoshop/Illustrator toolboxes. The toolbox magnets for either program will set you back $25, $65 with a 20" magnetic board, and $80 with a 30" board. So buy one for your cubicle, and then start hanging all your memos/emails. That way when your boss comes by to ask why you haven't done jackshit for the day, you can tell him the most recent memo was clearly a fake, and has been Photoshopped -- you could tell because the shadows were all wrong. You will then be applauded for your detective skills and promoted. Or fired. Hopefully fired.
Hit the jump to see closeups of the two magnet sets.
Continue Reading " FAKE!: Magnetic Photoshop Picture Boards "
Dec 22 2008 Instant Decorating: The Christmas Cannon
If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too many dirty jokes and the boubon-soaked skeezeball (trust me, I could smell his breath when I sat on his lap at the mall in '85. Also, I'm now spreading a rumor he touched my butt) passes your apartment. If there's another thing, it's decorating. It's time consuming, and, come May, you have to take everything down again. That's why the Christmas Cannon is so genius. You just lather something in glue, pump up the cannon, and BAM -- you just Christmas'd that shit. It's as easy as shooting yourself in the foot trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Which, haha, is easier than you think (read: I'm missing two toes and have to wear a special shoe).
DIY Christmas Cannon is a Festive Tinsel Explosion [gizmodo]
Sep 17 2008 Under The Sea: Fish 'N Flush Toilet Aquarium
The Fish 'N Flush is a 2.5 gallon aquarium that replaces your regular ceramic tank. It consists of two pieces: the actual fill tank, and the aquarium, which surrounds the fill tank for the "fish in your toilet" effect. It costs $300 and is great for pocket fishermen and people who can't keep pet fish alive (comes conveniently located atop a fish cemetery). But for the love of God, DO NOT sell one to this kid, that's just asking for it. I want one though. The only problem is you don't get to enjoy the aquarium while you're sitting on the john. Unless...
UPDATE: You ever tried straddling a toilet? I shat on the floor!
Two more pictures and a video of the flushing in action after the jump.
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Jul 8 2008 Garden Zombies Add An Undead Touch To Your Flowerbed, Hopefully Scare Solicitors
Tired of staring at the same damn group of garden gnomes in your flowerbed? Well how about (un)livening things up a bit with a Garden Zombie? Garden Zombies cost $90 and the 32"W x 20"D x 8"H sculptures look like they're climbing out of the ground and ready to gnaw on some headfruit.
Not for the faint of heart, the life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!
Garden? Maybe. Inside the apartment? F*** no. The last thing I need to see while stumbling my way to a midnight snack is a zombie climbing out of the floor. I'd decimate my tighty-offwhities (if I was wearing any) and cry like a baby. Eventually I'd come to, grab one of my zombie-survival kits, and proceed to kill the poor sap that lives in the apartment below mine.
Jun 27 2008 Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps
Some designers over at Transparent House have come up with a pretty clever way of recycling old cassette tapes. Not as clever as shooting them off your fence from the back porch, but still pretty clever. They're making lamps. That's right, lamps. You know, illumination devices. As you can see from the picture, they cast pretty cool shadows on the walls. But I don't think they're for sale, so if you're interested you'll have to make one yourself. But please, don't be a dipshit and use opaque tapes like I did.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Continue Reading " Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps "
Jun 18 2008 Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals
These are wicked Nintendo wall graphics made by a company called Blik. They're licensed and everything, so rest assured that Nintendo will get their piece of that ass should you decide to buy some. As seen in the photos, they come in Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, and New Super Mario Bros. themes, and are all completely awesome (and a good size). Unfortunately, each 24-42 sticker set costs $75 and it takes multiple sets to make a really cool scene. Hit the jump for more ideas of what you can do and what appears to be a highly inappropriate silhouette of two schoolgirls making out. You know, for size comparison.
I'm serious, hit the jump.
Continue Reading " Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals "
Apr 1 2008 Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark
The Fullmoon sideboard table by Sotirios Papadopoulos (hell yeah!) has a giant, and accurate, picture of the moon on it. But that's not all! It, get this -- glows! In the dark. It's painted with a special eco-safe glowing paint that is only slightly radioactive. Not enough to really do anything to you, but don't have children. Not that they'd be affected by the table or anything, I just don't like kids. Kidding, I love the little bastards. And the table won't really do anything to you. Except keep you up at night. Maybe stub your toe in the morning.
A picture of the table being not so glow-y after the jump.
Continue Reading " Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark "
Apr 1 2008 Pixel Sofa Features Big Squares Of Color
The Pixel Couch was designed by Royal College of Art graduate student Christian Zuzunaga and will be sold by Italian furniture company Moroso. No word on how much they'll cost, but they look like vomit. I want one badly. If you have a girlfriend like mine that's prone to puking and peeing the couch (I TOLD YOU I'D TELL EVERYONE!) then this thing would be perfect.
UPDATE: The woman called and told me to take the post down because she's embarrassed. I told her to relax, that it was an April Fools' joke. She said it wasn't funny because she really does pee the sofa. I just laughed and hung up.
Two more close-ups after the jump.
Continue Reading " Pixel Sofa Features Big Squares Of Color "
Mar 20 2008 Tetris Mirror Is Reflective, Many Pieces
The Tetris mirror is the brainchild of UK product designer Soner Ozenc. It's a mirror made of 13 separate interlocking pieces. They come in gold and silver surfaces and totally suck because there's no such thing as single square tetrads in Tetris. Come on Soner, get with the program. No word on price or availability, but I don't care anyways, because this thing would be a danger to have around. With so many separate little mirrors, one is bound to fall off the wall and break. And you know what that means don't you? That's right -- you'll step on the broken pieces one night on the way to the bathroom to drain your snake. Your need to frequently urinate will be due to a bladder weakened from holding it too long too many times . You'll cut your foot open and leave a blood trail down the hallway. Then your wife will wake up and freak out because you're not in bed and there's a blood trail leading out of the room. She'll call the cops and say you've been murdered even though in reality you're safely asleep on the john. Then you'll hear a pound on the door, wake up, and forget to put your pants back on before answering it. It'll be the cops, and they'll all laugh at your penis.
tetris mirror reflects your puzzled expression [technabob]
Mar 19 2008 Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light
I hate the hospital. I can see white and pass out just thinking about it. But for some reason I found myself strangely attracted to this "Lichtinfusion" Lamp by Christian Maas. As you can see it looks like a bunch of intravenous bottles with lights inside and tubes dangling. Kind of morbid, but neat. Now what you need to do is take one of these and add a naked guy that looks like the Unabomber. Let's say this guy, oh I don't know, drank “two or three glasses” of vodka and drove his car into a parked fire truck. Imagine the shuffle of slippers and this thing squeaking across the floor as he tries to make his way over to your side of the room whenever you turn off the lights. And that, my friends, is the true story of why I don’t like hospitals.
One more picture with the lights off after the jump.
Continue Reading " Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light "
Mar 18 2008 What Took So Long?: The R2-D2 Trashcan
Man, people have been calling R2-D2 a trashcan forever. Why in the hell it took someone so long to finally monopolize on this idea and make THE AWSOMEST TRASHCAN IN THE GALAXY is a mysery to me. Available from Urban Outfitters the cute little guy stands 24" tall and costs $148. And as if that wasn't already sweet enough, he's a no-touch model. So all you have to do to throw something away is just stomp on his penis there in the front and presto, he opens.
UPDATE: Turns out that's not his penis, just another foot.
R2D2 trash can guarantees instant membership in the geekdom hall of fame [dvice]
Mar 11 2008 Space Invader Coffee Table On Craigslist
Some guy made a Space Invader themed coffee table and is now selling it on Craigslist. He's asking $450, which is expensive. He has the list of materials he used on his website and apparently the thing cost him $415.59 to build. Which is also expensive. I'd be tempted to make one if I could do it for around $100. Maybe I can. The seller is getting rid of this table because he "had another clever idea for a coffee table and no room for two of them." Now the real question is "What the hell is this other awesome table he has up his sleeve?" Do you think it's going to be Zelda themed? Because man that would be AWE-to the-SOME. Possibly even more awesome than Zelda girl, just way flatter.
A couple more pictures after the jump.
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Feb 21 2008 Elastic Bookshelf Is Simple And Stretchy
Despite Steve Job's accusation that "people don't read anymore", I still do. Today it was the back of a cereal box, yesterday it was a nudey magazine I found under my roommate's bed. Being such an avid reader, I need a good place to store all my literature. Enter the Elastic Bookshelf. Designed by Arianna Vivenzio, the form fitting shelf consists of an elastic band stretched over two pegs. I love it, so simple. Just make sure to hit studs when you're putting up the pegs or the bookshelf will transform into all your shit on the floor.
Feb 18 2008 Broom Lamps Are WTF I Mean Come On
These are Brooms Of Light. They're brooms. They're lights. They're ridiculous. Each one packs a 6 watt low-energy bulb and "gives a surprisingly nice ambiance light".(?) They come in white, green and red and go with just about any decor in your closet. The best part is that buying one will only set you back $176. So you can get five of them for under a grand. Awesome, I know. I just bought them out.
Product Page
Thanks to Dolores, who would make a great president, for the tip
Feb 12 2008 Whole Room In A Box : Suck It IKEA!
The CASULO is a room packed into a 90 x 120 cm box. It includes a wardrobe, desk/table, cabinet, rotating and height-adjustable desk chair, two stools, a bed and mattress, and set of shelves. It's not necessarily anything to impress a lady, but great for the person that squats in abandoned apartment buildings and may need to move at a moment's notice. Apparently it takes about 7 minutes from start to finish. And you know what else takes 7 minutes from start to finish? Making sweet love to my girlfriend. Twice. She doesn't call me Don Geekologie Juan for nothing. Okay, I make her call me that.
Two larger pictures and a video of the assembly process after the jump.
Feb 7 2008 Magnetic Curtains Are Kind Of A Neat Idea
These magnetic curtains, by designer Florian Kräutli are, you'd never guess by the name -- magnetic. The curtains contain hundreds of little circular magnets, allowing you to arrange your window treatments with just the right amount of crinkle to suit your taste. I'm really digging them. Almost as much as I'm digging that room in the picture, which, incidentally, is my office. We don't have desks or anything, just a couple of chairs and lots of debris on the floor. The boss said it's supposed to increase productivity, but so far it's just increased the occurrence of all-day office chair races.
A ton more pictures of the curtains after the jump, with a bunch of closeups.
Continue Reading " Magnetic Curtains Are Kind Of A Neat Idea "
