Aug 31 2009 Ninja Turtles Offering Relationship Advice
I like turtles AND pizza. Also, this is good news for me cause I couldn't cook to save my life anyway (don't even think about it, Jigsaw!).
TMNT Relationship Advice [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Aisha, who offered up this piece of relationship advice: Chicks dig guys who aren't monster douchebags (douching is so 80's).
Jul 7 2009 YOU SLEPT WITH WHO?: X-Men Universe Relationship Map
I know, it looks like a really badass flowchart, but it's not, it's a relationship map for all the characters in the X-Men universe. Giant full-res version HERE. You know, I had forgotten Domino was involved with that man-whore Wolverine. Now I need to get tested.
X-Men Universe Relationship Map [uncannyxmen]
Thanks to Nick and Julian, who have had so many superhero women they can barely count them on one stump.
Jun 11 2009 Dino Break Ups: The Story Of My Life
If you've ever wanted to get to know me better, watch this video -- it's the story of my life. And, if you can't tell, I don't perform well in relationships. But don't let that stop you. Ladies?
Thanks to helliebee and Megan, who just realized they don't want to date me after all.
Jan 8 2009 Learn: How To Excel In A Job Interview
And that, dear reader, is how I became The Geekologie Writer.
Thanks to Tim, whose special skills aren't just limited to a 20-inch dong.
Jul 24 2008 ZombieHarmony: The Zombie Of Your Dreams Is Only A Click Away
Still looking for that special someone zombie? Well look no further than ZombieHarmony, an online dating service for the undead. ZombieHarmony...because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely. But don't go trying to use the site if you haven't been infected.
Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.
Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.
Despite the warning, I used the site anyways and think I found the zombie of my dreams, her name is LimblessLisa, and she's gorgeous in a corspy kinda way. Just kidding, I don't think the site really works, it's just a fun looking frontpage. Sorry to let you down, sickos. But seriously, if you want to date an undead bitch with a taste for blood my ex-girlfriend's number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.
UPDATE: Had to remove the number. Haha, I'm being sued!
Thanks to Alex, Julian, and Shawn, all of whom used the website to score some zombie brain.
Jan 28 2008 Indiana Jones Home Theater Looking Okay
I would actually consider this "Indiana Jones" themed home theater more of an "Egyptian themed" home theater with some Indiana Jones props strewn about, but whatever. It's still way badder-ass than my theater, which is a pair of binoculars I use to watch my neighbor's television.
That being said, the movie props they have are pretty cool, including the golden idol from Raiders. You know what pissed me off about that? That Indy replaced the idol with a damn bag of sand. That thing had to weigh way more than a freaking bag of sand. Man that made me angry. And then when the monkey died because it ate a poisoned date? That was pretty upsetting too -- until you realized it was in with the Nazis and deserved to die. But how about that line by Sallah? He catches it, points to the monkey and says "Bad dates." F***ing classic! And speaking of bad dates, I went on one over the weekend. What made it so bad you ask? Take a wild guess. Yep, she had a penis. It was way bigger than mine. It happened again. I swear, eHarmony sucks.
A ton more pictures of the theater's movie props, after the whip-crack.
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