Sep 1 2009 Geekologie Readers Find Love On Omegle
Remember the article from a while ago about Omegle, the website that gets you randomly chatting to some stranger with candy? Well two Geekologie Readers hooked up on the site after reading the article about it and are now madly in love and totally gonna get married and have a white picket fence or whatever the hell people do whose marriages don't end in bitter divorce. Per Jessica, the lucky lady:
well i'm in this relationship...and i must tell you we met on the infamous OMEGLE. ...no i am not lying....i totally would have saved our conversation if i'd known we would be in this relationship now....annd...i think we'll end up getting married one day.....HOW WEIRD IS THIS???
How weird is this? More like HOW AWESOME AND CONGRATULATIONS GUYS. I took a stab at OMEGLE-ING love myself (picture above) and you can see how well it worked out for me. Promising in the beginning, penis-y in the end: the life and times of the Geekologie Writer.
Thanks Jessica, Geekologie wishes you two the best.
Jan 14 2009 Morons Who Named Their Son Adolph Hitler Lose Their Kids To Youth And Family Services
Remember Heath and Deborah Campbell, the two failures at life that named their children Adolph Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie? Well, unsurprisingly, they've had their kids removed from the household by the New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services because they're freaking idiots and shouldn't have been allowed to breed in the first place.
No reason was given for why the children were removed, however, and Holland Township police chief David Van Gilson told the site they had not received any reports of abuse or negligence.
Um, naming your son Adolph Hitler IS abuse.
"They're just names, you know," Heath Campbell told the Easton Express-Times in December. "Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that."
However, Heath reportedly denies the Holocaust and their home is decorated with swastikas.
Real smooth there, Heath, real smooth. Now if you'll excuse me, I've just been informed your nuts won a date with my tire iron. And guess what -- you're paying.
Report: Child named Adolf Hitler removed from home in New Jersey [nydailynews]
Thanks to Shaggy, who, despite my convincing, wouldn't name his son Thundercats.
Jul 24 2008 ZombieHarmony: The Zombie Of Your Dreams Is Only A Click Away
Still looking for that special someone zombie? Well look no further than ZombieHarmony, an online dating service for the undead. ZombieHarmony...because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely. But don't go trying to use the site if you haven't been infected.
Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.
Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.
Despite the warning, I used the site anyways and think I found the zombie of my dreams, her name is LimblessLisa, and she's gorgeous in a corspy kinda way. Just kidding, I don't think the site really works, it's just a fun looking frontpage. Sorry to let you down, sickos. But seriously, if you want to date an undead bitch with a taste for blood my ex-girlfriend's number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.
UPDATE: Had to remove the number. Haha, I'm being sued!
Thanks to Alex, Julian, and Shawn, all of whom used the website to score some zombie brain.
Feb 7 2008 Stink Breath Detector Gives It To You Straight
For $10 you can pick up a Halitosis Detector that lets you know if you have funk breath or not. Because you can't always trust the 'breathe into your hand and sniff' method. The unit has a little LCD face that changes based on the severity of your breath. If the little guy screams "oh shit!" and the device catches fire it's time for a whole tin of Altoids. God this reminds me of a professor I had a few years back (who I've mentioned before). She had the rankest damn breath on the planet. You know how people walk their dogs and use a bag to pick up after them? Yeah, well it was like her lunch bag got switched with one of those and she ate the contents anyways. And if you think I'm joking you can ask my buddy -- he had to be hospitalized after going to her office hours one afternoon.
