Nov 18 2009 This Wasn't In The Job Description: Microsoft Store Employees Required To Dance

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are. That said, I would've passed out halfway through the song BUT ONLY CAUSE I'D BEEN DRINKING.

The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology.

Wow, like THAT doesn't sound like the biggest bunch of promotional bullshit I've ever read. People spending hours in a retail store, really? THEY'RE CALLED HOMELESS. The last time I ever spent hours in a retail establishment my mom forgot me at Sears while I was playing in the middle of a clothes rack and they closed the store for the night. And that, my friends, is why I can't sleep without a circular saw.

Youtube

Thanks to Patrick, Mark, babysteps and Mixtech, who, dance! *pew pew* I SAID DANCE!

Nov 14 2009 Impressive: 300,000 Birds Perform Air Ballet

I have no idea who the hell can tell that's 300,000 birds, but I'm running with it. And by running I mean flying. Just like those birds. Except less graceful. But equally naked! Think of me as like the Eleventh Plague of Egypt, if the Eleventh Plague of Egypt were a naked man standing on the roof flapping his arms. I'm coming for you, Pharoah! *caw caw!*

It's a bird! It's a cloud! It's a bird cloud [yahoobuzz]

Oct 29 2009 Uh-Oh: Another Little Running, Jumping Robot

ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words 'robot' and 'rapid'. Very clever. Or should I say vever? I'm gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference. He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn't running, just walking fast), dance and jump. Plus look kinda cute. There, I said it -- just because you hate something with all your heart doesn't mean you can't find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example.

ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie]

Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren't ashamed to admit they've thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys -- burn them at the stake!

Oct 24 2009 Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot

I'm pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it's an actual robot, but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn't hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don't get me wrong, I'd still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn't pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn't.

Youtube
and
Youtube (longer, 9:00 video)

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

Oct 11 2009 Topless Asian Man Busts Moves/Shows Off His Neo-Geo Collection (Plus Bare Ass!)

NOTE: Double shot of bare ass at 1:24 and 1:28. You can't get that at Starbucks!

This is a video of some crazed Asian man dancing his ass off while displaying some of rarer Neo-Geo titles in his collection. It's by far one of the most disturbing things I've seen, but I can't help but watch it again and again. It has something to do with the way he dances, which is technically amazing. You can't learn those moves in gym class! I don't care how many times you offer to stay after school and help pick up the orange cones.

NSFW: Topless Weirdo Shows Off His Neo-Geo Collection [kotaku]

Thanks to Aisha, who once danced the devil under the table and then stole the bitch's horns. Nice, I want to wear them!

Oct 6 2009 I Couldn't Make This Up: New 'Horny Ballerina' Species Of Tyrannosaurus Discovered

That's right folks, scientists have discovered a new species of tyrannosaurus, completely different than the much larger (and arguably sexier) t-rex everyone is accustomed to. But you've got to admit, this little bugger is cute as a button.

The new, more graceful tyrannosaur is named Alioramus altai.

A. altai apparently has a similar skeleton to larger Tyrannosaur-type dinos such as Tarbosaurus, Alioramus, Gorgosaurus etc. But among these burly heavyweights, A. altai was surely the butt of cruel locker-room bullying and dino towel-snapping, weighing in at a puny 800 pounds or so - half the weight of the regular tyrannosaurs. The ballerina-esque, "gracile" A. altai also differed from the big boys in having horns and an elongated snout.

The new dino was slim, light on its feet, horny and partial to meat

HIYO -- just like every ballerina I've ever known! Except the lesbians (no meat).

Horny new 'ballerina' Tyrannosaur was light on its feet [theregister]

Thanks to Barry and Kelly, who have danced with the dinosaurs in the pale moonlight and lived to tell about it.

Sep 2 2009 Record: 13,000 People Dancing To Thriller

13,957 people recently came together in Mexico to dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller and set the world record for worst waste of a hot afternoon. Which, I might note, just beat out the previous record held by yours truly when I didn't drink one scorching afternoon in August.

Youtube

Thanks to naas, who keeps asking me to call him the Thrilla from Illi(nois) but I refuse.

Aug 31 2009 Setting A Good Example: Pole Dancing Doll

These pole dancing dolls are real products despite everything you know about life telling you they shouldn't be. I'll tell you one thing: no daughter of mine is playing with a damn stripper doll. I'm looking right at you, Barbie. Hussy! Product features:

• style
• interesting
• music
• flash
• up and down
• go round and round

Wow. That's, uh, really something. Really something wrong with the world. I mean, how the hell does something like this get approved for manufacture and sale? Japan. Right, I keep forgetting.

Pole Dancer Doll Doesn't Really Set the Perfect Role Model [gizmodo]

Thanks to Octopus Pie, far tastier than Squid Cake.

Aug 18 2009 Music Video: Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?

This is a music video for a song by The Guild titled 'Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?' And to answer your question, no. The Geekologie Writer does not do Night Elves. Dwarves, call me.

Youtube

Thanks to Mel, who farms awesome like some poor saps farm WoW gold.

Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut

This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?

Youtube

Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!

Jul 22 2009 Wrong: Darth Vader Dancing To MC Hammer

Adding more delicious gasoline to my 'must sue Disney' fire, here's Darth Vader and a few stormtroopers dancing to MC Hammer's 'You Can't Touch This' at the Star Wars Weekends event at one of the theme parks. It pretty much desecrated my entire childhood in 47 seconds. And did anybody else feel the move Darth performed at 0:13 was a little inappropriate for children? Because I felt awkward and I'm just laying in bed watching this on Youtube.

Youtube

Thanks to Adam, Mindy and Mark, who can touch this. Go on, don't be afraid.

Jun 30 2009 Blocky Moonwalky: Michael Jackson As LEGO

This is Michael Jackson in LEGO form. And, because I'm actually made of solid gold classiness, I'm not going there. And by there I mean Michael Jackson jokes. And by not going I mean I heard they're going to burn the body so he can be the king of snap and crackle now too. *moonwalks self in crotch*

Michael Jackson - Moonwalk [mocpages]

Thanks to naas, who danced his ass off one time. Literally, both cheeks, gone.

Jun 17 2009 For The Ladies: Guys Dancing To Zelda Song

This is a video of three guys dryhumping the air out of a basement to the Song of Storms from the Zelda series. I wasn't going to post it, but then I realized that I hadn't done anything for you ladies out there in awhile. Well, besides call late at night and then hang up when you answer. Kidding, that wasn't me (yes it was).

Youtube

Thanks to Martyn and Adam, who only break it down to the Bolero of Fire.

May 12 2009 Good Times, Good Times: Burlesque Cosplay

So apparently a bunch of burlesque dancers did cosplay routines at LA's Bordello Bar over the weekend. This is Princess Peach, but hit the jump for Chun Li, Link, Princess Zelda and Samus Aran (complete with arm blaster!). Yow yow! Blah blah blah blah blah blah are you still reading this? Because nobody else even started.

Hit the link for a whole bunch more.

Video Game Girls Burlesque @ Bordello [laweekly]
via
Burlesque goes nerdy at Los Angeles' Bordello club [destructoid]

Thanks to Margo the Jeweler, who could put all these chicks to shame. IF SHE WANTED. And to Marc, who could too.

Apr 10 2009 Anything Can Happen: Stripper Turns Nun

Anna Nobili is a 38-year old stripper veteran who has been dancing the lap for 20 years all across Europe. But not anymore! She has seen the light, and now only dances for Jesus. I'd tithe her.

Sister Anna, originally from Milan, says she was 'inspired' during a visit to the shrine of St Francis in Assisi. Deciding she wanted more out of life, Miss Nobili has joined the the order of the Sister Workers of the Holy House of Nazareth.

"I was throwing away my life dancing for men. I was being used as a drug by people who wanted to see me dance."

Next week she will be in Rome to perform a ballet called Holy Dance, dedicated to episodes from the Bible, for senior cardinals and bishops.

I apologize if you already watched the video, I meant to warn you it makes no sense, features no quality strip-club action, and only briefly shows Anna doing her new dance for God (around 2:45). The rest is an interview in Italian that I couldn't understand. Still, for 38, she's not the worst looking stripper I've ever seen. Fun fact: they let the dancers perform pregnant in West Virginia. It's true. And I can say that because I was born there. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M WILD AND WONDERFUL, BITCHES, WHAT?!

Sister Anna dances for God after 20 years as a lapdancer [couriermail]

Thanks to Julian, who allegedly saw an arm pop out during a lap dance and *HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF* I can't believe I just wrote that.

Mar 6 2009 Giant Remote Controls Windows Media Center

Why? Because pushing little buttons with your thumbs is for little sissies. You need MAN-LEGS to stomp MAN-SIZED BUTTONS to prove you are a REAL MAN. *SHA-POW* Look, I just punched a hole to the center of the galaxy with my MAN-FIST. That doesn't even make sense but it doesn't have to because I am so full of MAN-RAGE. NOW I'M HUMPING A SODA MACHINE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MORE DR. PEPPER? RAWR!

Our intrepid modder achieved his goal by stitching together two PS2 Dance Dance Revolution mats, a PS2-to-PC controller converter box, and some homebrew source code.

What were we just talking about? Oh right, a giant controller. That thing is mad stupid. I would stomp right through that sucker and into the apartment below mine because my legs are like tree trunks -- wooden. 'Tis true, lost 'em both to the Kraken. YAAARR!

Hit the jump to see a video of the controller in action.

Continue Reading " Giant Remote Controls Windows Media Center "

Jan 25 2009 T-Mobile's Dance Spectacular Commercial

This is a recent commercial from T-Mobile that is almost identical in execution to this stunt (the second video), except there's like a billion times more dancing in this one. Basically a bunch of confederates (damn you, the north!) are walking around in a train station when they bust out in dance and get all wild up in that bitch while onlookers go "what the f***?" and a couple old people question if they remembered to take their medication. Good times. Oh man -- can you imagine if you were just been passing through on your way to catch a train? You'd have missed it. Then been pissed.

Youtube

Thanks to Jon and Mr M, who did a dance number in the middle school talent show but got booed off stage so they set off a stink-bomb in the back of the auditorium.

Jan 4 2009 Sexy Pole-Dancing LEGO Minifig Works For Tips In The Everfrost Mountain Brewery

High atop the snow-covered peak of Everfrost Mountain the elves brew a wicked batch of grog -- a grog so powerful it can etch diamonds and make a Goron's pee burn. I'm telling you, that stuff will even put hair on an infant's chest. It's true, look at my newborn. Just kidding, that's a Furby. Anyway, this is a LEGO brewpub built by a guy named Andrew. And what brewpub is complete without a pole-dancing LEGO minifig? None. And this particular dancer is powered by a 9v motor, so she spins about the pole like a champ -- in both directions (video after the jump)! Which is a lot more than I can say for the last stripper I saw -- she tried to slide down the pole upside down and fell on her neck! Needless to say, I took my dollar back while she was dazed.

Hit the jump for a short video of Plastica doing her thing on the pole.

Continue Reading " Sexy Pole-Dancing LEGO Minifig Works For Tips In The Everfrost Mountain Brewery "

Dec 31 2008 The All New New Years Eve Ball: Now With More Lights, Efficiency And, Uh, Triforces

What you're looking at is the new New Years Eve ball to be dropped (they literally should drop it one year -- after setting it on fire. Fireball Island FTW!) in Times Square tonight.

Last year, the Times Square Ball got an LED makeover for its 100th anniversary. This year that tradition continues, all 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDs of it (and don't forget the 2,668 Waterford crystals). The 12-foot-wide, 11,875-pound ball is capable of displaying "16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns"

The ball is 20% more efficient than last year as well, which means it will only consume enough power to run a handful of towns in the midwest. Oooooh, and what's with the Philips Rebel LEDs? I like the sound of those. "F*** you, we'll light when we want!"

Next year, Rogue LEDs.

The 'New' New Year's Eve Ball: 32,256 LEDs, 11,875 pounds, 20% more efficient [dvice]

Dec 29 2008 50-Foot Asimo To Lead Rose Bowl Parade

Honda is rocking out with their robot out January 1st at the Tournament of Roses on January 1st in Pasadena, California. That's right, a 50-foot likeness of Asimo, the harbinger of our destruction, will lead the parade along with a Honda FCX Clarity (fuel cell car). Be sure to tune in and watch the giant robotic bastard go rogue and start stomping dancers and bystanders. Which, I think we can all agree, will make for some awesome freaking television.

Hit the jump for two more pictures, including one of construction.

Continue Reading " 50-Foot Asimo To Lead Rose Bowl Parade "