Nov 2 2009 Spanish Space Hotel Still A Go For 2012

Intergalactic Suites, the $4.4 million per 3-night space hotel (you better change the sheets!) that we first reported on back in 2007, is apparently still a go for a 2012 grand opening. I'm skeptical. Also, on the waiting list. God I'm rich!

Galactic Suite Ltd, set up in 2007, hopes to start its project with a single pod in orbit 280 miles above the earth, with the capacity to hold four guests and two astronaut-pilots.

It will take a day and a half to reach the pod -- which Claramunt compared to a mountain retreat, with no staff to greet the traveler.

"When the passengers arrive in the rocket, they will join it for three days, rocket and capsule. With this we create in the tourist a confidence that he hasn't been abandoned. After three days the passenger returns to the transport rocket and returns to earth," he said.

Interesting, but I can think of a better business model. Namely, taking the customers to the hotel, then pulling away and threatening to leave them there if they don't pay another $10 million (you know they've got it). Geekologie Writer LLC: 2010 Startup of the Year!

Space hotel says it's on schedule to open in 2012 [msnbc]

Thanks to thanks to, who made me do that on purpose to make me look stupid EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS YOU FDSY.

Oct 28 2009 Haha, Sucker!: Bugatti Veyron Gets The Boot

I like making fun of ridiculously rich people because it makes me feel better about not knowing where I'm sleeping tonight. Take this Bugatti Veyron owner, who thought he could park his land-jet wherever the hell he wanted. Think again, Richie Rich! But seriously, you'd think somebody who can afford a $1.2 million car could also afford to hire a band of mercenaries to hover above the thing in a helicopter and scares off parking enforcement with a little friendly fire. I swear, no class.

Bugatti Veyron Illegal Parking FAIL [totalprosports]

Thanks to Asbo, who only parks his van in front of schools. No, that's not creepy.

Sep 15 2009 In The Land Of The Blind, The Man With One Eye Is King: Ridiculous Cyclops Sunglasses

I don't wear sunglasses because I like squinting, but for those of you that do, and only have one giant eye, maybe these new Martin Margiela sunglasses are for you. Sure they look like a giant windshield and cost $570, but that's a small price to pay for looking like a giant Miami douche-hydrant, am I right? Of course I am. Unless we're talking about handed, in which case I'm left. Speaking of which -- remember that no child left behind program? It's a lie (my parents abandoned me at a water park).

Martin Margiela Sunglasses [likecool]

Thanks to naas, who doesn't wear sunglasses BECAUSE HE OPTS FOR DUAL EYE PATCHES. Damn yeah, matey!

Aug 24 2009 Wow, That's Ridiculous: This Pizza Cutter

Because rich people sometimes struggle to find new things to blow their money on, Frankie Flood makes custom, one-of-a-kind pizza cutters. No word on price or if they're dishwasher safe, but from the looks of this one, no. That thing will kill every dish in the washer and then start eying your cupboard. Look out, little Indian!

The most intense-looking pizza cutters ever? [dvice]

Thanks to Dan, who cuts pizza the way nature intended: with a rusty battle axe.

Jun 4 2009 Rolls Royce: Now With Automatic Purse Rack

The new Rolls Royce 200EX has an automatic purse holder. And no, it's not the floor (although those work great too and come standard in most cars). There's a video after the jump that you have to see to believe, but basically a little gripper arm automatically tightens against the purse to ensure your diamonds and gold bars don't fall out during travel. It's stupid. Because when I'm rich enough for a Rolls Royce I'll be damned if I'm carrying my own purse. No, it will be traveling in it's own Rolls Royce. Inside a diamond airplane. Made of platinum. Don't question my logic, peasant.

Hit the jump for a short video of the 'just another thing to break' in action.

Continue Reading " Rolls Royce: Now With Automatic Purse Rack "

Apr 14 2009 Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator

The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that's supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman's tanning bed of solitude.

The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body's natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz.

Through intensive treatment with the body's own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect.

Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body.

Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and "will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time." But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let's be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will -- provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro.

Product Website

Thanks to Mushishi, who's also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.

Apr 3 2009 Elevator Garages 'Must Have' For The Rich

We already featured a Lamborghini elevator garage a while ago, now here comes one with a Porsche. Apparently London's rich are going apeshit over these things, and buying them faster than Cardock can build them.

The £40,000 (~$59,000) parking spots can be hidden beneath a flowerbed, lawn, or even another parking space.Owners simply press a button on a keyring to raise they car out of the ground much like the rocket launching apparatus in Thunderbirds.

There is already a four month waiting list to get the sci-fi style parking space installed.

Wow, that sounds like an enormous waste of money. Seriously, I suggest you rich asshats on the waiting list go find some other idiotic way to blow your money. I mean it, go! Haha -- now who's first in line, bitches?!

Pop-up garage is latest London must-have [newslite]

Thanks to towhee, who has a whole elevator garage for her shoes. You know, because women like shoes.

Mar 12 2009 Wow: What A Trillion Dollars Looks Like

Remember when we showed you what a billion dollars looks like? Well this is what a trillion dollars looks like. Allegedly. That little red stick on the left is supposed to be a human, for reference. Now I'm not very good at math so I couldn't actually make any direct comparisons between the real billion dollars and this hypothetical trillion dollars, but I'd believe just about anything somebody tells me. Free candy? Just let me grab my bookbag.

This particular rendering was made through Google SketchUp, Google's 3D modeling software. Measurements were taken of a $10,000 stack of $100 bills (just half an inch thick!) and pretty much multiplied from there using simple geometry. In that trillion dollar shot, each pallet holds $100 million...and the pallets are double stacked.

Now whether this is an accurate portrayal of a trillion dollars is irrelevant. What is relevant is that I'm going to steal it. I don't care if it's just a rendering, I'll steal the computer it was made on. I'm gonna be rich! A trillion dollars, son, that's like....almost a zillion.

To Conceptualize a Trillion Dollars, We Require Computer Visualization [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison, who I will blame for the crime and then give half the money to once he's out of prison. Provided I haven't spent it all already (I'll have spent it all already).

Feb 27 2009 Rad To The Power Of Sick $2.5 Million iPhone

That's right folks, a ridiculously stupid $2.5 million iPhone complete with 18-carat gold, 160 small diamonds, and topped off with a 6.6-carat behemoth as the home button. The piece is called the 'King's Button' and is available now if you want it. But, if you're looking for something a little cheaper, forget the King's Button, I've got your Peasant's Joystick right here -- $2.75.

World's Stupidest, Most Expensive iPhone Mod Yet Costs 2.5 Million Dollars [gizmodo]

Feb 2 2009 What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table

I don't get it -- I don't need to see my feet while I'm shooting pool. But if you have a foot fetish and some serious coin ($25,150), you can pick up a G1 Glass Top Pool Table. It's freaking glass covered in some patented (and likely cancerous) material called Vitrik that allegedly plays like felt. I don't believe a word of it, but there's a video after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. And, while you're at it, how about a unicorn for yours truly?

Hit the jump for several more pictures and the video.

Continue Reading " What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table "

Jan 31 2009 This Is What A Billion Dollars Looks Like

Get a good look folks, because you're sure as hell never gonna see it in real life.

One Billion Dollar is stacked on 12 standard pallets, altogether 10 million 100 USD notes. One Billion Dollar is not so much about what you see but what you could do or not do with the money. Besides, this is the most expensive piece of art ever made.

Haha, that's not art, that's somebody robbed a bank. And speaking of which....

UPDATE: Damnit, wrong bank. Oh well -- anybody looking to get pregnant?

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and another piece of art by the same artist (Michael Marcovici) that depicts an average life in bags of Rolex sand.

Continue Reading " This Is What A Billion Dollars Looks Like "

Dec 30 2008 Spoiled Brats: The Cloud 9 Radio Flyer

The Cloud 9 by Radio Flyer is thankfully just conceptual at this time because no child, I don't care if they pick platinum boogers, deserves to ride around in such opulence. The questionable Flyer comes complete with two seats, MP3 player, speaker system, 5-point racing harnesses, and a digital display with temperature, odometer, and speedometer readouts. If the Cloud makes production, expect around a $1,000 pricetag. And to think: I spent my youth being pushed around in a wheelbarrow. For shame.

Radio Flyer Cloud 9 Wagon Crushes My Youthful Memories With MP3 Player, Bucket Seats [gizmodo]

Dec 23 2008 Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch

The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums" and looks like it'll break just putting it on. The base model will set you back $275,000, but if you want that shit to have platinum and diamonds and a set of grillz it'll be $400,000. I have no idea what makes the thing tell time, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with a winch. And speaking of which -- more beer you wretched beast!

Mad props in advance to everyone that's going to use their comment to tell me beer wench is spelled with an e.

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesomely constructed movement.

Continue Reading " Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch "

Dec 16 2008 Luke Skywalker's Lightsaber Sells At Auction

The lightsaber (which was made from part of a photography flashgun) that Mark Hamill swung around like the Star Wars Kid in A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back recently sold at auction for a cool £133,000 (~$206,000). Some other stuff from the movies sold as well, but for less dough.

An original section of the Death Star from the first 1977 movie also fetched £13,300 and C-3PO's helmet and robotic hands worn by British actor Anthony Daniels in the 1983 hit Star Wars: Return of the Jedi sold for £66,444 and £20,000 respectively.

I wish I had $200,000 bones to blow on movie props, because I would have bought that damn lightsaber. Then traded it for a truckload of hookers. And that, at least according to my grandpappy, is living the good life.

Use the profit, Luke! Lightsaber used by Luke Skywalker in Star Wars sold for £133,000 [dailymail]

Thanks to Ska, who once traded a Federation blaster for a night with an Ewok.

Nov 3 2008 $110,000 Solid Aluminum Speakers

Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money. Just kidding, I totally do. All of it. Stick 'em up! Jewelry too. Anyway the KEF Muon speakers are each milled from a solid piece of aluminum and take a week to make. And allegedly they sell for $110,000. Which is $1,000 times ninety-something. For speakers. But if you're seriously interested, call me, I'm an authorized dealer -- of kicking your rich ass!

Product Page

Thanks to Momboelitist, who wouldn't pay a dime over $69,950 for those mothers.

Oct 23 2008 Maybe Someday: A Lamborghini Garage

I've never felt poorer in my entire life.

Youtube

Thanks to Andrew, who, along with robot apocalypse tipster Nolan, is taking turns kicking me in the nuts today.

Sep 29 2008 What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside

The Airbus A380 is a $300 million, 7-story plane that's as long as two blue whales and 260 ft from wingtip to wingtip. And, apparently, it's a flying resort.

The A380 is the ultimate in luxury. It has three decks: the top two for passengers and the lower one available for a medical center, shopping or a fast-food franchise. The aircraft has features like spas, casinos, gyms, bedrooms, and duty-free shops. Some airlines also plan to fix staterooms with beds, showers, a water feature, a double-width staircase between decks, and luxurious, book-lined club-style bars.

Wow, that sounds....like a huge freaking waste.

Hit the jump to see the ridiculousness that is the inside of an A380.

Continue Reading " What A Five-Star Plane Looks Like Inside "

Sep 17 2008 Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon

In this installment of money doesn't buy class comes a Ferrari station wagon. It was custom built by Ferrari for the Sultanate of Brunei and is making me sick to my stomach. The only thing worse than paying Ferrari to build a station wagon is to make one yourself. I just don't get it. And in other news, the new Facebook sucks monster hangy-downy dinosaur balls and I wish I did too.

Hit the jump for two more pictures.

Continue Reading " Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon "

Sep 10 2008 Further Proof: Money Doesn't Buy Class

Thought the gold Porsche and Burberry Maserati were bad? How about a pink camo Bugatti Veyron? I know, I think I just shat in my mouth a little too. The Veyron (and green camo Rolls Royce Phantom after the jump!) are both owned by Nigo, the ban behind Japanese clothing line Bathing Ape. Fortunately, if there is such a thing as fortune in this case, the eye poison is actually the result of vinyl wraps (like the Maserati) so you can rip the hideous off before you sell it to someone else. Man, I can't wait till I'm a rich a-hole with no class. I've already got classless asshole down pat, now I just need the rich. I'm coming for you, bank!

Hit the jump for the camo Rolls and an unrelated camo Porsche.

Continue Reading " Further Proof: Money Doesn't Buy Class "

Sep 5 2008 Study: Sports Cars Really Do Turn Women On

Despite containing drivers with notoriously small packages, women really are turned on by exotic sports cars, according to a study recently conducted by British insurer Hiscox (!).

To test the theory that high-performance cars get people hot, Moxon had 40 men and women listen to recordings of the three Italian exotics and a Volkswagen Polo. Everyone had significantly more testosterone after hearing the exotics, and all of the women were turned on by the Maserati. The guys, on the other hand, were drawn to the Lamborghini.

"We saw significant peaks in the amount of testosterone in the body, particularly in women," Maxon says, noting that even women who said they had no interest in cars were turned on. "Testosterone is indicative of positive arousal in the human body so we can confidently conclude from the results out today that the roar of a luxury car engine actually does cause a primeval physiological response."

Wait a minute -- testosterone is what makes a person turned on? So what if I buy a Ferrari to impress the chicks, but then end up in a steady relationship? Will she, you know, dude-ify? Because, as the saying goes: fool me once, shame on you, but you grow a penis and this relationship is f***in' over.

Hit the jump for videos of each car so you can hear for yourself.

Continue Reading " Study: Sports Cars Really Do Turn Women On "