Oct 8 2009 Glass And Brass: This Steampunk-y Table
This is a steampunk inspired side-table created by Tom Spina Designs (the same man responsible for the Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk). Prices start around $1000 and vary depending on size and design. I want one. Granted it may just be a bunch of painted PVC pipes and a couple gauges and glass baubles, but I could never make one. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I've been drinking all morning. Haha, now I see two tables. No -- three! Aaaaaand I'm puking in my mouth. I feel noodles. WHEN DID I EAT NOODLES?!?!
Product Site (with a couple other sweet products as well -- I'm looking at you, t-rex desk and skull throne)
Thanks to Tom, the man behind the brass curtain. Now send me one.
Sep 12 2009 Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails
This is somebody's false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they're good looking. I can't say for certain I'd date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn't), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a rack, I'm getting hungry.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the whole set.
Continue Reading " Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails "
Sep 10 2009 Nice: Badass LEGO Star Wars Chess Set
Typically you don't hear "badass" and "chess" in the same sentence unless you're talking about the time Bobby Fisher beat Medusa to death with nothing but a rook. But I feel they're appropriate together here because this custom LEGO Star Wars chess set by Brandon Griffith is simply bangin'. And yes, I can say that because I'm hip. Literally, I only have one. I threw the other one out humping a Dilophosaurus this morning! Also, I suspect tennis elbow.
Flickr Set (with lots of worthwhile closeups)
via
Lego Star Wars Chess Set [likecool]
Thanks to Chuey "The Rock 'n Roll" Midget, who could actually stand in for one of those chess pieces. He's that small.
Sep 10 2009 Nice Kicks, Brah: Custom Super Mario Shoes
If there's one thing to earn some serious street cred, it's a pair of custom painted Mario shoes. Kidding, it's calling a grizzly bear a bitch to her tits and stealing a cub, but these might net you a little.
Each one is precisely handpainted by Rachelle Williams of ParadoxArtistry, and covered with imagery of all of your favorite Super Mario characters. At $160 smackeroos a pair, they're not cheap, but think about how much two original paintings and a pair of high-tops would cost you and then it doesn't seem that bad. While the pair shown above is a Men's size 11, Rachelle will happily make you a pair in any size.
I, for one, would rock the hell outta those puppies. WOOF WOOF, know what I'm sayin'?! I don't, I think I've lost my got-damn mind.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the impressiveness.
Continue Reading " Nice Kicks, Brah: Custom Super Mario Shoes "
Sep 2 2009 Makes A Perfect Gift: Man Eating LEGO Pits
Two LEGO posts in a row involving scary shit with teeth -- BOOSH! So some guy started a website called igotyouamaneatingpit.com that sells man-eating pits made of LEGO. These are two examples of the seemingly endless possibilities. Pits start in the low $20's and go up from there. They are completely customizable by choosing a feeding system (person), food escape system (bike, monkey, etc.) and theme pack. They make the perfect gift for that person on your gift list who already has everything -- everything but a man-eating pit! Which, haha, come standard on some female models. I've seen toothy vaginas!
Thanks to Eddy and Jake, who tried to make DUPLO man-eating pits but they just weren't that scary.
Aug 24 2009 Wow, That's Ridiculous: This Pizza Cutter
Because rich people sometimes struggle to find new things to blow their money on, Frankie Flood makes custom, one-of-a-kind pizza cutters. No word on price or if they're dishwasher safe, but from the looks of this one, no. That thing will kill every dish in the washer and then start eying your cupboard. Look out, little Indian!
The most intense-looking pizza cutters ever? [dvice]
Thanks to Dan, who cuts pizza the way nature intended: with a rusty battle axe.
Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain
Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!
Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.
Jul 15 2009 Custom Star Wars Dolls Auctioned For Charity
A bunch of Mighty Mugg vinyl dolls are being customized into Star Wars characters and auctioned off to raise money for the Make-A-Wish foundation. *sniff* Almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Thankfully I was able to punch back the tears. All man, baby. (I'm gonna need an ice-pack)
Artists, comic book creators, toy designers, and celebrity fans are getting out their markers, paint brushes and glue guns to transform blank Mighty Muggs into one-of-a-kind Star Wars art to be auctioned by The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
The final Mighty Muggs art pieces will be on display at San Diego Comic-Con and on StarWars.com. Each Mighty Mugg art piece will be auctioned off to raise money for The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
That's great. I really do dig these customizable dolls. I could never make a good one, but that's just because I've glued my hand to my genitals one too many times. Now I know what you're wondering, and since I love you, I'll be honest: Forty six.
The Empire Muggs Back: Art for a Mighty Good Cause [starwars]
Thanks to towhee, who once glued herself to a stripper pole trying to perform a trick. Pics or it didn't happen.
Jul 6 2009 Slow Roller: Guy Builds 2MPH Fiat Tank
Ironsmith Kogoro Kurata went and built himself a little tank out of a Fiat and old tractor. Unfortunately, it tops out at 3km (~1.8MPH), making it the world's most boring drive. You could fall asleep at the wheel for an hour and not even make to the end of your driveway. No, this thing needs some rockets. And fuzzy dice. Because nothing says, "helloooooo ladies" better than a pair of fuzzy dice. Besides me. Helloooooo ladies. You liked that, didn't you? It's my deep voice -- it resonates inside you. Like an opera singer's, but 80x manlier.
Hit the jump for a video of the tank inaction(!).
Jun 27 2009 MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car
Francois Knorreck spent ten years and $20,000 to create this "Snaefell", a motorcycle with a sidecar made from an actual car. It looks pretty damn sleek. Not as sleek as my mane, but I use women's haircare products. Also, hygiene producst. What? I can have a cycle too!
Hit the jump for several more shots of the confusion.
Continue Reading " MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car "
Jun 16 2009 You + Me - Clothes + Mario = Romance
This handmade bed blanket was created by Etsy seller punzie and looks great (punzie also does custom work and has a bunch of other designs if you look in the sold items section). Granted, it would look even better with you underneath it. I'm not talking dead hooker style either, I'm talking real romantical like. What do you say, come over around 8? We'll fire up some oldschool NES, drink some sparkling cider (my parents don't allow alcohol in the house) and then retire to my luxurious twin-size. Oooh, you like a little role playing, do you? Well then, let me just slip into my Raccoon Mario costume. Okay, now pretend you're a garbage can.
Hit the jump for a ton more blankets (including some Zelda, Mega Man and Metroid action) and another link to the Etsy store.
Jun 14 2009 Golden: ZOMG, WTF Are Those Things?!
Impressive, but mine drag on the pavement.
Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz [wonkette]
Thanks to Spoonman, who may or may not want to give this vehicle a physical.
Jun 5 2009 I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes
These custom painted Metal Gear Solid shoes were made by UCLA student and artist Jacob Patterson (no relation to Robert Pattinson) and shown off at the E3 convention. I want like four for each foot. You know, because I have big feet. ;) Ladies, that wink was for you.
He is apparently going to talk with Kojima and team to discuss the possibility of mass-producing these shoes via the Puma brand. So if things go well expect to be able to buy these at a store near you sometime in the future!
Well I usually only wear flip flips and aqua socks, but I'd make an exception for these bad boys. And speaking of bad boys -- I've been one lately. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to ride on my motorcycle. And by motorcycle I mean lawn mower. And by 'ride on' I mean cut the backyard. Any takers? Come on -- I'll make lemonade!
Hit the jump for two closeups.
Continue Reading " I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes "
May 20 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Beef Jerky Underwear
Beef jerky underwear is $139 underwear made out of untreated beef jerky. It is nutritious, delicious and sexy as all get-out. It kicks the shit out of those other edible underwears because those things taste awful even though they look like they should taste like Fruit Roll-Ups. Plus these ones are meatier. RAWR!
Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We've even "bedazzled" this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones.
We consider these to be the first in "meat haute couture". They are made to order for each specific customer from the highest quality of dried preserved meats we can find at the closest convenience store.
First of all, it should be "haute meat couture". And secondly, why the hell aren't they available in teriyaki? The Geekologie Writer demands teriyaki flavored draws for his women! Also, blindfolds. I have an internet face. :(
Hit the jump for a couple more shots, including a modeling one.
May 12 2009 $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games
Looking to blow $2,500 on something that's bound to get all scuffed up and smell funky within a few months? Cool, buy me one of those masturbation machines. Or these shoes.
These are an exclusive pair...only one of its kind. Patent leather back with embedded fiber optic wiring in the shape of the XBOX logo. Battery placement is in the tongue as well as on and off switch that has 2 settings: Strobe or Constant light functions. Gradient lime swoosh faded to black. The toe is painted in a surreal Tiger Camouflage with accents of lime and bright green. These are a men's size 11.
$2,500 for a pair of sneakers? For that kind of money I was at least expecting them to play Halo. Yeah, and have speakers so I can hear all the penisless pre-pubescent boys telling me what a homosexual African American I am.
Hit the jump for several more shots including the fiber optics in action.
Continue Reading " $2,500 XBox Shoes Don't Even Play Games "
Apr 29 2009 How To: Quit Your Gaming Development Job
Farbs, a game developer working for 2K Australia quit his job, and this is how he submitted his two six weeks -- with a custom game (A Message for 2K Australia)! And I'll tell you -- it sure takes the cake over this resignation! *brutally punching myself in the balls*
Farbs will no longer be working for 2K Australia come June 5th, having resigned his position in order to work full time creating games like the most excellent ROM CHECK FAIL.
Combining elements of Mario and a small splash of his own game, Polychromatic Funk Monkey, Farbs delivers one of the more entertaining "I Quit" notices you're ever likely to find.
Nice. Now call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to the old 'stop showing up for work' method of resignation? It's classic -- you just stop showing up for work. Everyone will start to get all worried and think you're dead. Which, I think we can all agree, I did for the lulz.
How To Quit Your Game Development Job [kotaku]
Thanks to Simon and Julian, who have both quit jobs by crashing their cars into the office lobby. Nice guys, I like your style.
Apr 18 2009 Must Have: Custom Monkey Island Shoes
Converse All-Stars aren't really my thing, but I would make an exception and rock the hell out of these mama-jammas. Inspired by The Secret of Monkey Island, the shoes were hand-painted by a Spanish fan with scenes from the game (the opening and an insult swordfight). Awesome, now I want a pair of custom Monkey Island kicks. Also, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. WHEE!
Hit the jump for close-ups of each shoe.
This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
Apr 7 2009 Star Wars And Mario Russian Nesting Dolls
Some artsy folks went and custom painted traditional Matryoshka dolls to look like characters from Star Wars and Super Mario, respectively. Not bad. I think these would make a great arts-and-crafts project to do with your kids, provided they don't eat the paint or glue their heads to the kitchen table. Which, be honest, they totally will. Haha, do I know your kids or what? On my way to work today I saw your youngest standing in the front yard hitting himself in the head with a Whiffleball bat. *sniff* Made me wish I had one of my own. The bat, not the kid.
Hit the jump for some closeups of the two sets.
Continue Reading " Star Wars And Mario Russian Nesting Dolls "
Mar 27 2009 Customize!: iGoogle Video Game Themes
Want to customize your Googling experience with some sweet gaming art? Well now you can thanks to a series of iGoogle gaming themes. Pick from Zelda, Mega Man, Mario, Street Fighter, Spore, WoW, Animal Crossing and a bunch more. Use a different one every day of the week! Or don't, I don't care. It's not like I'm going to beat you over the head if you don't. Hey, what's that!?!? PEW PEW! Haha -- I didn't say anything about lasers!
Thanks to dealmaker7783, Douche McAllister and Julian, who all opted for Zelda because they know what's up.
Mar 16 2009 Ooh La La: A Gallery Of X-Box 360 Mods
Personally, I like my XBox just the way it came: solid gold with diamond accents. But apparently some of you peasants like to glue plastic and shit to your XBoxes to make you feel special. Good for you. Hit the jump for a bunch more, including several Halo mods and a pretty sweet looking clock/tissue box combo. Now if you'll excuse me, I must call my servant to wipe my lips clean after breakfast. *ahem* Heeeeere kitty, kitty.
Hit it for a bunch more and the link to an even larger gallery.
