20-year old failures Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart were arrested after accidentally butt-dialing 911 during a car burglary spree. That...is a really unfortunate butt-dial (and I know a guy who called his girlfriend while he was making out with her brother). When th... / Continue →

This is a very high production value video introducing Red Rex Velvet, a mustachioed supervillain who wants to rid the city of Seattle of Phoenix Jones and the rest of the vigilante superheroes running around spraying people with mace or whatever the hell those basketcases do. ... / Continue →

AHAHHAHAHHAHA -- that's right by my house! Microsoft recently patented a feature for GPS systems that allows pedestrians to choose a walking route that avoids crime-ridden and bad-weather areas and a bunch of folks are getting up in a huff about it because some jackass at CBS... / Continue →

Police in Surrey, England have developed an iPhone app that tracks local officers so citizens feel a heightened sense of safety and security. Oooooooooor rob a bank on the other side of town. The app is totally well-intentioned. It's supposed to give residents a sense of secu... / Continue →

Pennsylvania, which is apparently some kind of mecca for f***ing ninjas, is back in the news, this time after a rogue ninja went on a crime spree, breaking into a bunch of cars and stabbing a dude. Pfft, a real ninja would've killed him. Worthwhile quotes: In the latest even... / Continue →

Beard: real or Sharpie? Seen here proving denim's making a comeback, Ricky Lee Kalichun (who looks suspiciously like a short-bus zombie) was arrested after trying to drunkenly break into an old roommate's with his face all markered up and wielding a "large sword". LEARN HOW T... / Continue →

Pheonix Jones is a real-life superhero that patrols the streets of Seattle at night gettin' his crime-bust on (also, tights). Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, he would look better without the tablecloth cape and athletic shorts. Yow yow -- take it off! *penis hits t... / Continue →

Apparently Batman (who's a known fast-food thief) robbed a McDonalds in San Francisco last night. Why San Francisco? Because he and Robin retired there to ride rainbows to their hearts' content. But apparently the dong-loving duo have fallen on hard times. Double entendre, ... / Continue →

Two piece of shit thieves broke in and stole two Motorola Droid phones from a man's apartment, then proceeded to take a bunch of pictures of themselves like the vain little failures that they are. Little did they know, little did they know. What they didn't foresee, however, ... / Continue →

Some poor bastard, fed up with his car being broken into, decided to leave this passive aggressive note for the thieves. And not only does he reference Half-Life, THE DUDE KEEPS AN OCARINA IN HIS CAR. ZOMG, do you think he's Link?! Yeah, me neither. Also, to guy's credit,... / Continue →