Nov 18 2009 R2-D2 Finally Spotted In New Star Trek Movie

Remember how you heard J.J. Abrams snuck R2-D2 somewhere in the new Star Trek movie? And remember how you kept going back to the theater with the hopes of spotting him? God, you need a hobby. I dunno, World of Warcraft or something. Anyway, thanks to the recent release of the film and newfangled slow-motion technology, the droid has been spotted.

The blog Gizmodo has located the brave droid's appearance, and frankly, it's no surprise that 99.999% of the world couldn't spot the "Star Wars" star. R2-D2 appears for about one microsecond during a battle scene. Floating across the screen from left to right, the droid appears to be enjoying himself, however briefly.

Well, there he is. Finally, we can all sleep at night. Together, in a big pile like in Where The Wild Things Are the one time they're all happy before Max proceeds to eff everything up. And speaking of which: you run away from my home and guess what -- there isn't going to be any chocolate cake waiting for you when you get back. There's gonna be a locked door. And maybe a belt so you can whip yourself if you're lucky.

Confirmed: R2-D2 Finally Discovered In Star Trek [gizmodo]
via
Found: R2-D2 in 'Star Trek' [yahoomovies]

Thanks to jessica, Matty and Lunarion, who spotted him the first time but didn't want to say anything because they didn't want to ruin it for the rest of you. Plus, they make great friends because they can keep secrets.

Nov 5 2009 Shower With 3-D Wrap Around Touchscreen

Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what's the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it -- I will always out one-up you!

The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets.

I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates.

Install a 3D wraparound touchscreen in your shower [dvice]

Oct 2 2009 Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW

This is a conceptual solar powered BMW. It may look like a fish, but it's not, it's a car, silly! Well, not a real car, cause it's only a concept. Like me. I ONLY EXIST YOUR INTERNET!

Created by 24-yo German designer Anne Forschner, the Lovos stands fo Lifestyle of Voluntary Simplicity. Each of those scales--which are replaceable and turn constantly to align with the sun--is covered with solar cells.

Now I'm no aerodynamicist, but that shit looks like it'll slow you down. AND I CAN'T DRIVE 55, know what I'm saying? It's against my law! The Geekologie law of awesome. Which, honestly, makes gravity look like a little bitch.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of the craziness.

Continue Reading " Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW "

Sep 24 2009 For The Ladies: This Ridiculous-Ass Shoe

Yes, that's a shoe. And it's ridiculous looking, isn't it? I know -- what's the matter with flip-flops? I don't get it either. YES I'M JUST JEALOUS!

And a high heel shoe at that. Designed by London architect Julian Hakes, the Mojito shoe is made of carbon fiber--to give it strength and spring--and laminated with rubber on the bottom and leather--from furniture manufacturers in High Wycombe, England--on top.

I can't even begin to imagine how you put that thing on. You could lock me in a room with a pair of these for an hour, and when you came back and I've one have on dangling from an ear and a high-heel sized bulge in my shorts. Yeah, I'd be waving it at ya.

Wait, This Is a Shoe? [gizmodo]

Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!

F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]

Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

Aug 19 2009 Sport?: Indoor Synchronized Bicycle Riding

I can honestly say I had no idea indoor synchronized bike riding was a real thing. But now that I do, I can't say I'm surprised (I once saw a grown-ass man lounging in a kiddy pool in his front yard, beating himself in the head with an oversized plastic bat). So yeah, I guess what I'm getting at is this: they need sexier uniforms.

Youtube

Thanks to twellve, who once synchronized her fist with some guy's face for looking at her funny. He had a wonk eye, twellve, geez.

Jul 28 2009 Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2

Growing up, my dad would only slow to 25MPH to drop me off at school, so I'm no stranger to bailing out of moving vehicles. Just not at Mach 2. That's crazy talk. Now don't get me wrong, I would still do it. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DANG.

Movie producers paid two Sukhoi Su-35 pilots to fly without a canopy at Mach 2.0, and have one of them eject in what probably is one of the most dangerous stunts ever filmed.

Two words, Russian movie producers: special effects. Just throwing that out there.

Hit the jump for a shot of the remaining pilot flying with no canopy.

Continue Reading " Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2 "

Jun 17 2009 Zappity Zap!: Police Will Tase Your Grandma

Just in case you were wondering, the police will tase your 72-year old grandma. You hear that, members of the geriatric species? YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM THE ZAPPERY! Also, does the officer really yell "TASERED!" as he's doing it? Because that's awesome. I'm gonna start doing that.

POSTED! LEAVE A COMMENT -- LEAVE A COMMENT!!

Youtube

Thanks to Watch-303, alex, double dragon, The Naked Wizard and Beth, who would have torn the electrodes out and flown off on their jetpacks like superheroes.

Apr 3 2009 Angry Villagers Chase Off Street View Car

A group of angry villagers in Broughton, England chased off a Google Street View car because they feared an invasion of privacy and increased crime in the area.

"I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs told The Times of London. "My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime.

"This is an affluent area. We've already had three burglaries locally in the past six weeks. If our houses are plastered all over Google it's an invitation for more criminals to strike. I was determined to make a stand, so I called the police."

Just to be fair, I broke into Mr. Jacob's home and stole his valuables and last bowl of cereal just to prove that, even without Street View, The Geekologie Writer will still rob you blind. But seriously, Paul, if you could pick up some more Raisin Nut Bran, that would be awesome.

Gang of villagers chase away Google car [cnn]

Thanks to Brad, who once chased a Google Street View car six blocks before he realized it was a pizza delivery guy.

Mar 17 2009 Oh Grow Up: Flat Worms Fencing....Sexually

I know, I know, I should grow up. I just can't help myself. At least not when there's penis fencing involved. Superficial Writer, en garde!

Youtube

Thanks to LeftRIGHTleft, a college champion in Tit Kwon Do.

Mar 11 2009 Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face

This is a picture of Dr. Claw's face from Inspector Gadget. For those of you who wanted to keep it a mystery, I'm sorry, but I was too lazy to edit a picture with a censor bar. Oh, and the Easter Bunny isn't real either -- it's just some sex offender in a rabbit costume. Geekologie: shooting straight from the hip since April, 2006.

Hit the jump for a full body shot and bonus MAD Cat.

Continue Reading " Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face "

Mar 9 2009 Kangaroo Broke Into Home, Mistaken For Ninja

A kangroo recently broke into the home of Beat Ettlin while he and his family were sleeping. He mistook the kangaroo for a ninja and began to pummel the 90lb beast.

The 42-year-old told Sky News Online: "I just saw this black thing. I thought it was a lunatic ninja, an intruder. It just fell on top of us on the bed.

Finally, Beat was able to subdue the kangaroo in his son's room, and kick the leggy bastard out the door.

"When I got in there, it was against the wall by the window, trying to get out I think so I just jumped on top of it. I got him in a headlock and pressed him to the ground.

"I had to open the door with one hand, pressing the kangaroo to the wall with the other hand. Finally, the door opened and I could actually release it.

Good looking. Of course, how could you not kick a kangaroo out of your house with a name like Beat? That would be like being named POW and getting your ass kicked by a koala that broke in through the attic.

Oz Dad Fights Off 'Lunatic Ninja' Kangaroo [skynews]

Thanks to Alex, Jazzy 8 Ball, and Victoria, who have all punched ninja-roos in the pouch and lived to tell about it.

Feb 11 2009 Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin

Somebody went and translated all of Zelda II into Latin for the three people out there that might actually play it that way. They also did the original Zelda and Final Fantasy VI. Whee. As many of you may know, Zelda II is a sore subject for me because it's the only game in the entire series I haven't beat. And believe me, I've tried. I fire that sucker up and play through it at least twice a year AND STILL CAN'T DEFEAT THE LAST PALACE. So, anybody want to come over and beat it for me while I watch? The game too. HIYO!

Hit the jump for some more screenshots of the translated games.

Continue Reading " Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin "

Feb 4 2009 Man Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month

Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has vowed to only eat bacon for the month of February. Why? Because it's delicious. And healthy.

Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.

No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.

I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.

So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.

Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]

Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.

Feb 4 2009 Lightning Hits Cow, Cow Lives To Moo About It

The cow featured here, who we will refer to as "Well Done", was struck by lightning and lived to chew grass and moo about it, which is apparently rare.

When lightning hits the ground, current flows through the earth in a wide area around the point of impact. This is how a lightning strike can kill a field full of cows - the long wheelbase of the average cow means that a nearby strike induces a significant potential difference across the ground spanned by the cow's front and back legs; current flows through cow, cow dies.

For those of you who aren't science-minded, let me break that down in layman's terms: basically lightning strikes a cow, and makes it delicious. I smell barbecue! Or a cow on fire, same difference.

The path lightning takes through a cow [tywkiwdbi]

Thanks to towhee monster, who attracts lightning like she does men -- with witchcraft.

Jan 25 2009 T-Mobile's Dance Spectacular Commercial

This is a recent commercial from T-Mobile that is almost identical in execution to this stunt (the second video), except there's like a billion times more dancing in this one. Basically a bunch of confederates (damn you, the north!) are walking around in a train station when they bust out in dance and get all wild up in that bitch while onlookers go "what the f***?" and a couple old people question if they remembered to take their medication. Good times. Oh man -- can you imagine if you were just been passing through on your way to catch a train? You'd have missed it. Then been pissed.

Youtube

Thanks to Jon and Mr M, who did a dance number in the middle school talent show but got booed off stage so they set off a stink-bomb in the back of the auditorium.

Jan 8 2009 Whee: Watch Walmart Spread Like A Virus!

Walmart: where else can you go drink and have shopping cart races at 3 AM? Ha, besides my underground race track? Nowhere, that's where. Now click here to watch an interactive map of Walmart's virus-like growth from 1964 to 2007. As you can see, the big-box giant has been invading America like a disease for 45 years. Just imagine: if every Walmart store was actually a giant robot. We'd all be dead as shit! Now somebody get Hollywood on the phone -- I smell an Oscar.

Watching the Growth of Walmart Across America [flowingdata]
via
The Andromeda Strain [splicetoday]

Thanks to Andrew, who doesn't know anything about viruses because he's clean. Ladies? Sorry Andrew, I tried.

Jan 5 2009 Little Jellyfish Cheats Death, Death Is Pissed

So apparently there's this little jellyfish creature (Turritopsis nutricula, a form of hydrozoa) that doesn't ever die. Biology is beyond me, so I'll let somebody else do the talking while I make a sandwich have a sandwich made for me.

What these little folks do is they revert completely to a sexually immature, colonial stage after they reach sexual maturity. They're even cooler than that. When they're young they've got only several tentacles, but at a mature stage, they get to 80-90 of them.

They're able to return to polyp stage due to a cell change in the external screen (Exumbrella), which allows them to bypass death. As far as scientists have been able to find out, this change renders the hydrozoa virtually immortal.

Did that make any sense? I didnt' bother reading it, but I think it had something to do with being able to regenerate your arm like a starfish. *sawing through bone*

UPDATE: Um, so does anybody have the number for Luke Skywalker's doctor?

Meet the world's only immortal animal [zmescience]

Thanks to Emile, who only wants to live long enough to see a hovercar.

Jan 2 2009 D+Caf Strips Detect Amount Of Caffeine In Your Coffee, Ur+In Strips Coming Soon

Some people drink decaf coffee. These people, given normal coffee, will go apeshit, bouncing off the walls and breaking things. Given espresso, they will spontaneously human combust and create a black (coffee) hole that will smell like fresh roasted beans and suck many an oblivious barista into its odoriferous depths. That's why it's important they never drink regular coffee or a Red Bull. To keep the rest of the world safe from these people, somebody developed D+Caf strips.

D+caf test strips are simply little strips of paper coated with antibodies that tell if you a beverage is properly decaffeinated, turning up blue lines if it's got more than 20mg of caffeine per 6oz serving. Even modern decaffeination procedures can't remove every single trace of caffeine, but between 20 and 30 percent of coffee and tea drinks "contain unacceptably high levels of caffeine" according to the strip's maker, Silver Lakes Research.

A box of 20 strips costs $10 and I really wish they were Roof+e strips instead because the Superficial Writer keeps eyeing me salaciously and encouraging me to chug my Appletini.

D+Caf Detects If You're Drinking Real Coffee Instead of Decaf [gizmodo]

Dec 4 2008 Annoy Coworkers With The Annoyatron 2.0

The Annoyatron 2.0 is a little gadget that makes annoying noises at random so you can drive a very special coworker to the point of stabbing you and/or stealing your lunch from the communal fridge. The sounds are as follows:

-15kHz (Mosquito tone) (full volume)
-Cricket chirping (medium/low volume)
-IM Doorbell (low volume)
-Grating Electronic noise (full volume)
-Typical Electronic Beep (medium volume)

Just hide the little board in somebody's office, don your stab-proof jacket, and wait for the insanity to set in! Don't have a stab-proof jacket? Well you're in luck -- I happen to be selling them! They may just look like garbage bags, but you have The Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee they are real garbage bags.

Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need an Annoyatron, because he's got warlock powers and shit.