Oct 23 2009 Man Pleads Guilty In La-Z-Boy DWI Case
62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick.
Anderson's customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a "Hell Yeah It's Fast" bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle's headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term.
First of all, I can't believe it doesn't have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can't believe it doesn't have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don't tell me a beer tree because I'mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer. Gimme the beer -- I want the beer.
Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.
Oct 22 2009 Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers
The Intelligent Bump is a speed bump that lowers itself if a driver is under a predetermined speed. It has no effect on me though because I drive a hovercar from the future.
Dubbed the Intelligent Bump, this clever system by Mexico-based Decano Industries actually retracts if you're "going slow enough", rewarding cautious drivers. These bumps are priced at an affordable $1,500 each.
"The system uses metal plates that measure the force of an impact against them. Cars going slow enough will cause the plates to lower, though any faster and the speed bump will remain where it is."
Listen, I hate speed bumps as much as the next person, but if I find out my state government is blowing $1,500 a pop for the things I'm gonna stop paying taxes. And by stop I mean never start. I'm flying under the radar, whee! Oh -- now I'm barnstorming! NNNNNNEEEEEAAAROOOOOOOM.
Hit the jump to see an animation of the bump in action that may or may not have contracted out to a kindergarten art class.
Continue Reading " Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers "
Jul 19 2009 Hot Dog!: Weinermobile Crashes Into Home
One of the iconic Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles crashed into a Wisconsin home on Friday, following a failed turn-around.
Police say the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.
Ha, women. I can't believe we still issue them licenses. But seriously, if any of you ladies need a hot dog parked in your garage, call me. I'm sensitive to a woman's needs.
Wienermobile Crashes Into Wisconsin Home [foxnews]
Thanks to Dustin, FDSY, Masami and phil, who prefer to park it around back.
Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter
Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.
The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.
I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.
Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]
Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.
May 2 2009 On Camera: Bus Driver Crashes While Texting
He's not just driving any bus either, he's sporting that short joint (see man in wheelchair tethered in the back). Jesus. Dude texts for six minutes straight before finally rear-ending somebody. You'd think being on camera would be enough to deter this sort of behavior, but no, it's not. This is almost as bad as your middle school bus driver drinking and smoking the whole ride. Miss you Mrs. Wright! Madison County (AL) Public Schools Bus #114 FTW!
Bus Driver Crashes While Texting [break]
Thanks to Brandon, who once piloted a bus off a cliff but downshifted right before he hit the ground and drove off without a scratch.
Sep 12 2008 My Turn, My Turn!: A Human Catapult
A couple weeks ago we saw the AirKick human catapult,and today we've got a video of the homemade variety. I don't really have much to say except they didn't make it powerful enough. You'd have to chuck a body at least twice that hard if you expect to damage a castle.
Homemade Human Catapult Action - Don't Try This at Home [uberreview]
Aug 26 2008 How To Slow Down Speeders In China
This is how local authorities decided to combat speeders on the Jing Zhuang highway in ShanXi province, China: with two 100 foot long, 2 foot high barriers that require motorists to slow down and wind their way through the passage. Hey, you know what else discourages speeders? Cutting their brake lines. Because then they can only go as fast as they feel comfortable hitting a tree. My wife sure as hell doesn't speed anymore. Or even drive for that matter. You see, she's dead. *sobbing*And the sad part is *sniffle* I hate cooking for myself.
Jump for one more picture of the foolproof anti-speeding deterrent.
Aug 1 2008 Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!!
The Discovery Channel has an open casting call until midnight on August 6th looking for a male host for a new show they're producing -- Super Testing. So what is Super Testing?
The show explores the world of extreme testing - a world of explosions, planned crashes, and controlled chaos. The show is produced on a level as big as the subjects it covers. There are no scale models. No recreations. No "staged reality". Our cameras are involved in actual tests conducted by the U.S. military, government agencies, corporations and inventors around the world.
And who are they looking for?
We're looking for someone who is
:
* In his late 30s to early 40s.
* Smart - he needs to be credible in his interactions with scientists and engineers. Science, stuntman, or engineering background is a strong plus. He does not have to be an "expert" in science or engineering per se, but should grasp the science or engineering concepts at least well enough to ask the kind of intelligent questions that our intelligent viewers appreciate.
* Tough, but an "Everyman" - He should be credible dealing with military officials, mechanics, pilots, test subjects - the whole range of folks who build things and sometimes blow things up all in the name of progress. Military, construction, or mechanical engineering background is a strong plus. He should come off as knowledgeable but likeable - and definitely a man's man.
* Charismatic, but not too "hosty" - He should be able to explain the who-what-where-when-how of the testing in a clear, direct, and always conversational way. We need someone who seems comfortable in his own skin and comfortable on camera. But he should also be comfortable letting the light shine on the real stars of the show - the people who he encounters, who make "super testing" a reality.
Interesting, Discovery channel. But you could have made it a lot shorter. It should have read:
We're looking for someone who is:Mike Rowe.
And, since it's Friday and I have a man-crush on Mike Rowe that's borderline sexual, I've included several MUST MUST MUST SEE videos of Mike when he used to sell crap on QVC. If you're a Mike Rowe fan you must watch them, and even if you're not, they're hilarious. Search Youtube for a bunch more if you like them.
Continue Reading " Casting Couch: Host A Show On The Discovery Channel -- Super Testing!! "
Jul 15 2008 Crashed B-2 Bomber Pics Get Me Misty Eyed
If there's one thing that's sad, it's the death of a pet. Followed distantly by $1.2 billion plane crashes. And, while we've already posted another picture and video of the crash, here are some nice close-ups of the now infamous wreck. Pretty sad isn't it? I think so. Of course, it's not as bad as when Hammy the Hamster went. There are very few things sadder than watching your dad cook and eat your only friend because you couldn't make it to base in a little league game.
Hit the jump for two more pictures, including one of a firetruck and another of two doctors crawling through a field with a steampunk computer. Just kidding, apparently they're deactivating remaining explosives in the ejector seat.
Continue Reading " Crashed B-2 Bomber Pics Get Me Misty Eyed "
Jul 11 2008 Dummy On Segway Kisses Another Dummy
This is allegedly a Segway crash-test video used to determine the effects (including potential eroticism) that can occur when someone plows their Segway into a stationary person. If you can't watch it, it basically looks like two dummies kissing. Honestly, I don't even know why they performed this test in the first place. I can tell you what happens when you crash your Segway into something: you look even stupider.
Segway Crash Test is Awkward For All Parties Involved [gizmodo]
Jun 19 2008 Worst Ferrari Owner Ever
So some Ferrari owner in Brazil crashed his 2000 360 Modena into some other car. Then -- at a later date -- had to push it around town because it was out of gas. Not surprisingly, it turns out the dude hadn't been paying his taxes and fines for the car either. Which makes him the worst Ferrari owner ever. While most owners treat a Ferrari like their baby (one that wasn't an accident), this guy treats his like a redheaded stepchild.
A bunch more pictures of the damage, him pushing it through the streets, and a screenshot of the car's tax sheet after the jump. Anybody that wants to shed more light on the article feel free to, my Portuguese is limited (and I'm dumb as shit).
Jun 6 2008 Video Of The B-2 Bomber Crash Released
Remember the B-2 Bomber that crashed in February? Well the government has finally released footage of the $1.2 billion disaster after verifying there were no aliens, terrorists, zombies, polygamists, or rogue robots involved. It's pretty sad to watch, especially since the camera operator has the motor skills of a newborn. The first half of the video is another B-2 taking off, so skip through halfway to see the second one that actually crashes. It's not super-crazy or anything, but the crew ejector-seating out was neat to watch. The rest is just sad. Like the family video of me crashing my bike as a kid. You can hear my dad laughing and telling the neighbor he loosened a bunch of bolts.
Another video after the jump, but it cuts out right before the crash.
May 21 2008 Promo Vid: How Not To Sell Microcontrollers
I found this promotional video for Texas Instruments' new MSP430 Ultra Low Power Microcontroller particularly funny because I used to work for the company. *TI stock plummets* Basically it's two monster geeks showing how you can run the thing on different fruits (just like the potato clock you made when you were six). However, the main reason I posted it is because it has an awesome scene that starts at 1:20.
Blue Guy: Now if you're watching this on Youtube feel free to respond with your own interesting power sources for the MSP430.
Red Guy: I can tell you a martini works wonderfully.
Blue Guy: But you didn't drink that martini right?
Red Guy: Nooo, of course not, that would violate TI policy. *smile disappears, looks down and contemplates killing himself in the middle of a Texas Instruments promo video*
Freaking classic.
Fruit-Powered Chip Promo Vid Shows Why Geeks Don't do PR [gizmodo]
