Aug 2 2009 Craft Time!: Make Your Own D-20 Handbag
Be honest, every single one of you would rock this handbag. I know I would, and I don't give a dang if it clashes with my live bear chaps or not (all man, baby). Available from evilmadscientist as mini and full-size kits ($20 and $25, respectively) you're still gonna have to know how to sew. Which I, unfortunately, do not. Last time I tried mending a tear in my jeans I ended up sewing my penis to my ankle. True story.
Hit the jump for some shots of the unfinished kit so you can get a real sense of all the fun to be had.
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Dec 10 2008 Craft Time!: Make Your Own Zombie Barbie
Want to make your own zombified Barbie doll? No problem. All it takes is some paint, a razor blade, some Sculpey, a regular Barbie doll, and some brains (!). Hit the jump to see the basic process, which is so simple even a zombie could do it (!). Ha, this reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd always steal my little sister's Barbies and rip their heads off and set them on fire. Without fail the brat would always threatening to tell mom on me. So you know what I did? I told her I'd murder her imaginary friend if she even thought about it. Love you Kaitlyn!
Hit it for a bunch more, including the process.
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Nov 19 2008 Yes!: Star Wars Arts And Crafts For Sale
Star Wars arts and crafts: I just can't get enough of that shit. It's like juice, but not liquid and nowhere near as sugary. Actually, I'm trying to limit my juice intake because I've been drinking too much lately and it's making me run up the walls. Well, not literally. Yes literally! I fell and hurt myself pretty badly. Broke the coffee table. And a cat. Anyway, today on Etsy we have some $5 patterns to make your own crochet Darth Vader and lightsabers, a $12 finger puppet Yoda, and a $950 sequin Darth Maul "painting". Hit up the jump to see them all. And then hit up your parents up for some beer money. Then we can go drink by the train tracks!
Hit it like a vending machine with a half-vended Snickers.
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Nov 19 2008 Solid Snake Escapes Prison In Cardboard Box
A Turkish man, who may or may not be a fan of the Metal Gear Solid series, but who I am dubbing Solid Turkish Snake anyways, escaped German prison in a cardboard box.
The man hid in the box at the end of a shift of his prison job of making stationery and was carried out by a courier service along with other boxes. The inmate then cut through a tarp in the truck and jumped out shortly after the vehicle left the prison grounds. The driver eventually noticed the tarp flapping in the wind and reported the cut to the police.
Wait a minute -- job making stationery? No wonder the poor bastard wanted to escape so bad. Pressing license plates I can understand, but making stationery? That's just cruel and unusual.
Prison Inmate Escapes Jail Using Cardboard Box [snagwiremedia]
Thanks to Kevin, who once escaped a POW camp in a paper airplane. And Saul, who fled an undesirable woman's house in the morning when he rolled the toilet paper out the window, slid down the roll and had an escape.
Sep 29 2008 eBay: Needle Felted iPhone For Sale
Geekologie reader Chris went and made a wool iPhone and put it up for sale on eBay to see what sort of reception (!) it would get.
This auction is for a hand made (by me) needle-felted iPhone toy/art. Needle-felting has been a hobby of mine for over a year now and I decided to offer this one of a kind toy I made this week. This wool iPhone measures 4 3/4" X 2 3/4" and 0.5" thick. Made with great quality wool. This "toy" is not intended for children or pets. It is packaged in a bag with a Squid Wool card.
Bidding starts at $25 with $5 shipping. I'm pretty damn tempted to make a bid, but sadly, I've been banned from eBay. Some policy about not selling prescription drugs you found in your roommate's medicine cabinet.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures and a link to the auction.
Aug 11 2008 Woman Knitting Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 Scarf, Will Be About 30 Feet Long Finished
Cassie from Georgia is knitting a Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 scarf. Why? Because she's awesome, that's why. So far it's about 1/3 done and already over 10 feet long. So it's gonna be one hell of a long scarf. Keep you real warm. Now I'm not sure who that guy is in the picture there, but if I had to guess, I'd say a man that knows what's up -- knitting and Irish whiskey, always a good time. You start out making a sweater for your sister, and end up knitting yourself a night in the slammer. Survival Tip: Knit your asshole closed.
Hit the jump for one more picture, along with a link to her project blog.
Jul 31 2008 Felt Zelda Looks Sharp, I May Have To Buy
Etsy seller wedgered2 has made a handsome Link out of felt. And seeing as how I love everything Zelda, here he is. He is available for purchase at the bargain price of $75.
Link is a needle-felted soft sculpture made of wool on wire, so he is posable, but struggles to stand unassisted (I have some tips for the buyer if they wish to display him). His Accessories are sculpted from Polymer clay and he is able to hold them in his hand or carry the shield or sword on his back.
And, get this -- this is the best part -- the tip was actually sent to me by the maker, who had this to say:
"I am sending you this link to Zelda-related project I just finished. This little project caused me hours of headache which I only started because of the amigurumi Link you wrote of last week."
ZOMG! Not only did a Geekologie post inspire somebody to make something, but it caused hours of headache! I have powers! But not invisibility, because that jogger totally just saw my package.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of him.
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Apr 7 2008 Yes!: Super Mario Piranha Plant Dongwear
This is a pair of underwear available on Etsy featuring a silk-screened piranha plant from Super Maro Bros. They run $17 and are made from American Apparel undies (unworn), so they're sweatshop and scabies free. Now maybe I'm only speaking for myself when I say this, but doesn't that piranha plant look like the scary man-eating dong that chases you in your nightmares? Anybody else getting that?
Piranha Plant Underwear [gonintendo]
Thanks to Ryan, whose member wouldn't even begin to fit in those things, for the tip
Mar 20 2008 Sleep Masks May Pose A Danger In Bed
FreakyOldWoman is a freaky old woman that makes things and sells them on Etsy. Recently she made a line of disturbing sleep masks that will make you kill your partner if you wake up and see them in one. Several of them made me queasy just looking at them. The picture there is of a steampunk model, but they get a lot more disturbing than that. They're all $10 apiece with free shipping, so some of you may actually want one. They're too creepy for me though. Besides, my girlfriend and I have other sleep related problems to concern ourselves with. Like, oh I don't know, waking up to a cat shitting on the pillow between our faces.
Several more masks, along with a link to all of them, after the jump.
Feb 22 2008 Knitted Gas Mask Will Keep You Warm But Not Safe From A Chemical Attack
This nonfunctional knitted gas mask was made by skilled craftswoman teriyakimoto for a friend to keep warm on his bike commute to work. It looks good and has more style than a boring "bank robber" style mask. I, however, prefer the real deal. I wear a gas mask I picked up from the military surplus store just in case anybody decides to chemically attack me. I was going to get one for my girlfriend too but I didn't have enough money. No worries though, because like the boyscout motto goes, "she's a whore and doesn't deserve one."
Knit gas-mask hat [boingboing]
Dec 11 2007 Galaga Quilt Keeps You Warm, 8-Bit Style
Can you tell I'm cold this morning? I am. All I can think about is stretching out on a bearskin rug with a lovely lady and getting under this quilt. Because bearskin rugs and 8-bit video game quilts were practically made for each other. This Galaga quilt measures 60 x 60" and is 100% cotton. It was made by CarolinaPatchworks and is available for $475. It reminds me of this Pac Man rug featured awhile ago, because of all the old school awesomeness. I've been quilting for years and I've never made anything half as cool. Oh you didn't know I quilted? Hell yeah I do, and I'm all man. All man you hear! To prove it I'll drink this whole bottle of bleach. *Glug, glug, glug* HA! Nothing to it. Now watch this mule kick me in the nuts, I won't even flinch.
Staying Toasty Warm with Galaga and a Good Book [uberreview]
Nov 26 2007 Life-Size LEGO Figure Is Cool, Cardboard
A man has made a life-size LEGO figure entirely out of cardboard and hot glue, complete with removable and rotating body parts.
All flat and rounded surface planes of the original LEGO man were measured to the 32nd of an inch and mathematically converted to recreate the LEGO man at 60" (5ft) tall. The proportions of the 60" final piece are accurate to the 16th of an inch, with cardboard thickness taken into consideration. All surface scores performed with X-acto at 1/2" intervals for rounded applications.
The whole project took about 50 hours from start to finish. I wonder if he's going to paint it, or if that would detract from the whole "it's made of cardboard" appeal. Painted or not, I do know one thing -- this would make the world's awesomest piñata. Fill that sucker up with airplane bottles and have at it. Ever seen a life-size LEGO figure bleed little liquor bottles? Me neither, but I just made it my life's goal.
Man Makes Life-Sized LEGO Minifig from Cardboard [boingboing]
Nov 6 2007 Make A Life-Size Jabba The Hutt Puppet
Want to make your own life-size Jabba the Hutt puppet? I don’t, but maybe you do. If so there’s a tutorial online at Star Wars Crafts. You get to use all sorts of fun crap like irrigation tubing, mattress padding, PVC, and LOTS of glue. If you do everything right you end up with a mediocre looking Jabba puppet capable of being controlled by two people. I know I said earlier that I didn’t want to make one, but maybe if a few of you ladies out there volunteered to be my chained Princess Leias I would reconsider. Any takers? No? Screw this project. I hate crafts anyway.
A few more pictures and a video after the jump.
Oct 24 2007 New XBox 360 Is Soft As Hell, Pillowy
A beautiful woman named Hannah made an XBox 360 out of fabric and pillow fluff or whatever the hell you shove in things to make them cushy. What the system lacks in game play it certainly makes up for in being a great thing to rest your head on. Hell, I would have even settled for this version for Christmas last year. I told my mom I wanted an XBox and all I got was a handle of whisky and carton of cigarettes for herself.
Xbox 360 Plushie [deviantART]
Aug 31 2007 Cologne Makes You Smell Like Craft Time
Demeter, a fragrance company notorious for their offbeat odors (sushi, humidor, dirt) has released a Crayon scent that is sure to drive the kindergarden ladies wild! At $19 per ounce, it's a little more expensive than melting crayons on yourself, but probably safer. A must have for the under 6 crowd, nothing says "I accidentally glued my genitals to my leg during craft time" like smelling of crayons.
Cologne Makes You Smell Like Craft Time [gizmodo]
Aug 30 2007 Crayola's Talking Ruler
Crayola, a company best known for those different colored snack sticks, has just released an audio ruler for kids. You roll it along and it leaves a trail of disappearing ink to ensure that you measured what you wanted. It will then tell you how long the distance was, in quarter inch increments up to a foot. A foot? That's pretty weak, for $8 I was expecting a little more. I was just about to order one too, to measure my ding-dong. I can hear it now. "Your ding-dong is three feet long and you should tote your balls in a wheelbarrow." No joke I should.
Crayola's Talking Ruler [ohgizmo]
Jul 16 2007 Money Origami
Want to see some amazing origami made from paper money? Check out this gallery. And want to see a man so handsome his smile has been known to kill? Right over here, ladies.
Jul 9 2007 Papercraft T-Rex automata eats caveman
Flying Pig has created this amazing T-Rex papercraft automata which they describe as:
A super fun animated paper model for you to pop out and make. Turn the handle on the terrible T.Rex and he reaches down and bites! The T.Rex catches any object placed beneath his might jaws with the power of paper. Awesome! Includes free anachronistic cave man for your T.Rex to eat. Follow the fully illustrated instructions and, with an evening or two of your time and a tube of PVA glue you can have this delightful model for your collection.
It's even more impressive that it's completely constructed from paper and glue. Sort of like my car. My horribly depressing car.
