Aug 31 2009 Branded Jägermeister Cooler With Tap

I can't drink Jäger because it makes my clothes fall off and catch fire and me fight people and break stuff and all kinds of other awesome things that I have to start saving for special occassions. But hey, if you do regularly enjoy black licorice flavored unicorn blood, you're in luck.

The cooler holds 6 bottles of your drink, with two of them hooked into the built-in dispenser. There's plenty of room for other drinks (ie. Red Bull) so as to keep things interesting. If you really love Jägermeister, then $120 (drinks not included) will get you this branded cooler.

I assume it'll work with any bottle that's short enough to fit in the cooler. Which isn't a terrible idea, but you could just get a regular cooler, and then screw the cap off and pour the drink whenever you want some. Archaic, I know, but you did just save yourself $100. And you know how many extra bottles of Jäger that is? I don't -- I TOLD YOU I DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. Bourbon. So hot it burns my lips.

Keep Cold Jägermeister On Tap Anywhere You Go [ohgizmo]

Jan 3 2009 Questionable: Fridge Door Can Caddies

What the hell is a Fridge Door Can Caddy? It's a piece of molded plastic that holds four cans vertically in the refrigerator door so you can save space. And, as an added bonus, it comes with a handle so you can grab your brew and run should the cops come to raid your meth lab (I'm on to you!). $10 gets you a set of two. Also, $10 to anyone who can explain why there's a 3:1 soda to beer ratio in the picture. Who the hell only takes one beer somewhere? Well, except the shower.

Beer Can Door Caddy Might Just Save the Environment From Beer Fridges [uberreview]

Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller

The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.

One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]

Dec 15 2008 Dubai Resort Building Air-Conditioned Beach

A new Versace hotel in Dubai is going to feature an air-conditioned beach. Ha, and all this time I thought beaches were supposed to be hot.

A system of heat-absorbing pipes and giant wind blowers will "keep tourists cool in the searing 40-50C (104-122F) heat." Soheil Abedian, president of Palazzo Versace hotel that will be home to the refrigerated beach, said: "We will suck the heat out of the sand to keep it cool enough to lie on. This is the kind of luxury that top people want."

Top people? What the f*** is a top person? And, more importantly, how do I become one? Unfortunately, this opulence comes at a cost. Namely, mother nature's ass.

The city's continued expansion will also add to its huge carbon footprint. Each person living in Dubai has a carbon footprint of more than 44 tons of CO2 a year.

A 44-ton footprint -- that's bigger than Bigfoot's! But seriously, Satan, how about a little AC down here, it's freaking hot.

Versace hotel to refrigerate beach [news.au]

Thanks Natalie and jumpin_j, now listen: don't sin lest you want a burning coal jammed up your ass for eternity. And *TSSSSSSSSSS* OH MOTHER OF MELTING ASS TRUST ME YOU DOOOOOOON'T!

Nov 13 2008 For The Ladies Everyone: A Makeup Fridge

Korean manufacturer IDOCI is releasing a small refrigerator specifically designed for storing cosmetics. The unit will keep eyeliner, blush, rouge, lipstick, war paint, and fake blood in "the ideal 8 - 12 degree Celsius (46 - 53 Fahrenheit) range." Not only that, each fridge has an interior light. So you can see the shit inside! No word on price, but they do come in a ton of different colors. Which, if you're actually considering a fridge for your makeup, is probably far more important than cost.

Hit the jump for color options!

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Oct 1 2008 Flatshare Refrigerator Keeps Your No Good Thieving Roommates Out Of Your Food

Not really, it just separates everyone's food so it doesn't get mixed up. The Flatshare is a finalist in the Electrolux Design Lab 2008 competition and is the brainchild of Austrian design student Stefan Buchberger, who has obviously had it up to here with getting his freaking Eggos stolen. The unit consists of a base on which you can stack four separate refrigerator/freezer modules. Neat concept, but pretty worthless in real-world application. This won't stop a roommate from stealing your cold cuts, trust me. But you know what will? Poison. Haha, I poured rat killer in the OJ. I think it worked too, because I haven't heard a peep from the loud bastard in a few hours. I'll go check on him just as soon as I finish this screwdrive....oh Jesus -- quick, somebody call poison cont

Flatshare Fridge Separates Your Roommate's Rotten Food From Yours [gizmodo]

Thanks to Sophia, who agrees it's a sin punishable by pissing on their clean clothes pile to steal a roommate's last pudding pack.

Sep 9 2008 How To Really Make Drinks 'On The Rocks'

ZOMG now you can really make drinks 'on the rocks'. You just chill these special Nordic Rocks in the freezer before use, and presto, they keep your drink cold! A set of ten costs about $29 and are sure to scratch your glass and f*** your teeth. $29? I mean seriously, I can get rocks from the yard.

UPDATE: Mmmm, scotch and mud on the rocks. Oh, and what's this -- I got a roly-poly!

stone ice cubes really put your drinks on the rocks [technabob]

Aug 27 2008 BEEP BOOP BEEP: Ultra-Rare R2-D2 Fridge

This R2-D2 fridge, one of only 1,000 given away at Japanese 7-11's back in 2002 as a promotional prize for when Attack of the Bones came out, is now for sale by ToyEast. The trashcanny droid can both cool and heat your meat, but asking price is a staggering $1,070. So yeah, a little out of my price range. But I did just call up a Jawa buddy of mine and told him I'd pay upwards of $40 for one in good condition. Then I threatened to gouge those glowing eyes right out of his freaking head if he doesn't make it happen. Shifty little bastard stole my toaster once.

Hit the jump for one more picture of the handsome devil.

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Jun 13 2008 Guy Scores Himself A DWI On Cooler Scooter

Well folks, they finally got me. After months of (relatively) incident free cooler scooting around town, I finally scored my first DWI while doing 13 MPH down the sidewalk.

Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.

Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.

These jackasses have the story all wrong. First off, my name is Leslie J. "Mad Bomber" Marr, and secondly, there were only 12 beers left because I slammed two before the cop got out of his car.

Under New York state law, driving any motorized vehicle must be done without alcohol, including motorized coolers. In various states, other modes of transportation in which driving is prohibited while intoxicated include lawnmowers, boats, bicycles, golf carts, wheelchairs and horses.

Wow, no drunk wheelchairing, huh? Why don't we just go the extra mile and make being handicapped illegal too?

Man Gets DWI After Riding Motorized Cooler [wgal]

Thanks Jacob, now everyone's gonna make fun of me

May 5 2008 Man Orders Beer Coffin, Uses It As A Cooler

The Geekologie Writer has a drinking problem and may or may not have alcohol poisoning this morning. But, being the brave cosmonaut that he is he's going to curl up on the cold bathroom floor until he feels better.

Me: Hey liver, how you feeling this morning?
Liver:
Me: Liver?
Liver:
Me: Uh oh.

Anyway, Bill Bramanti loves Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and had a coffin made that looks like a can of the stuff. He's using it as a cooler until he dies. Bill Bramanti is an American hero and I suggest he replace that clown Hamilton on $10 bills.

Illinois man designs beer can coffin [usatoday]

Thanks Judy, I'll buy you a beer when my economic stimulus check arrives

Apr 30 2008 Water-Cooled Shirt Keeps You, Well, Cool

The Cool Shirt is a water-cooled t-shirt. It keeps you cool. Not cool in a "I'm gonna get mad laid in this Geekologie t-shirt" way, but rather in a "not warm or hot" way. They were designed for race car drivers, and pump 45-60 degree water around your nipples through 50 feet of rubber hose. You just plug the ends into a pump, and away you go. Since I couldn't find any pricing info, and my trusty Metro doesn't have any AC, I decided to make my own for the hot summer months. Unfortunately, the water was recently cut off in my tenement, so I had to use bourbon instead. Well this morning I was halfway to the grocery store when a crappy song came on the radio and really pissed me off. I yanked one of the tubes out of the pump and let it work all that delicious bourbon down my throat. I got drunk pretty fast (drinking out of a straw gets you drunk faster) and drove my car through a Hardees. I made the most of the situation though and had a delicious order of biscuits and gravy before the police got there. In hindsight, filling the shirt with bourbon was a bad idea. Vodka or gin is probably the way to go.

Water-Cool Yourself With a Cool Shirt [uberreview]

Thanks to Wes, who everyone finds both hot and cool

Jan 16 2008 Mineral Oil Computer Cooling: Sure, Why Not

Take one computer, drop it into an aquarium, fill with mineral oil and presto! -- a mineral oil cooled computer case. I decided to make one of my own and I've got to say it's pretty cool except for the fact that all my fish keep dying. What do they not like mineral oil or something? The man responsible for the mod had this to say: "after about 2 hours, the temperature settled at a new maximum of 84C on the CPU under load." That's pretty impressive, seeing how the temperature of my CPU settled at broken under heavy load. And by 'under heavy load' I mean I sat on it.

A video tutorial to make your own after the jump.

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