Nov 13 2009 Ladies: Quick Conversions Cooking Towel
I've never cooked anything in my life except crystal meth and I ended up blowing up the trailer, but I have eaten things before. Including, and virtually limited to: cereal and pudding. What can I say, I'm a health nut. Anyway, the Useful Towel is a $22 piece of fabric with conversions and stuff on it. I think. I actually don't know what they are, it all looks like jibber-jabber to me. But I'd still tie it around my waist and prance around the kitchen bare-assed. Suck it, Jamie Oliver!
Useful Towel Has a Couple of Uses [uberreview]
Oct 8 2009 Genius!: Mug With A Cookie Holding Shelf
The Cookie Dunk Mug is a $22 beverage receptacle that also has a place to store cookies for dunking! Plus, the manufacturer isn't sidest and makes a left-handed version. High left-five!
There's "no need to juggle with a plate and cup and of course, you also save on the washing up afterwards."
If you're a lefty, fear not, this mug comes in right handed or left handed styles. Your left handed deformity will no longer hold you back from enjoying your hot beverage and cookies at the same time.
Wait -- did that say deformity? Because somebody just got their ass boycotted! I don't know who, but somebody. These things happen all the time, probably an oil company. Deformed and proud, baby! You too? Whoa whoa whoa, it's cool -- leave the bag on.
Product Site
via
Cookie Dunk Mug [techeblog]
Thanks to Sarene, who throws all her cookies in at once and lets them sink to the bottom. Me too -- I like them supersaturated!
Sep 8 2009 Mmmm, Blocky: Rolling LEGO Cookie Cutter
Want to make LEGO shaped cookies? Well you're in luck thanks to this $10 rolling cookie cutter directly from LEGO! Oh, hold the phone -- I just read a review.
I am a very capable and experienced sugar cookie designer. If the dough is not the perfect thickness--not too thick, not too thin, it will stick on the wheel. I very carefully and tediously cut out about 50 of this itty, bitty (1" x 1") bricks on my cookie sheet. I chilled the dough for 1/2 an hour in the refrigerator to help keep the shape during baking. However, they didn't hold their shape during baking because they are so small. They came out of the oven in an unrecognizable shape.
Well, I guess that's out. That's okay though because I bet it still works for Play-Doh. And Play-Doh, as we all know, is delicious. It tastes like gummy-salt! Uh-oh -- another review!
I am so disappointed. We bought the cookie cutter for school bday party and the cake mold for family party. The cookie cutter is cracked on one brick. Used it anyway. The dough sticks to the cutter and is nearly impossible to get it off without ruining the shape. Tried freezing the dough to make it harder. Cuts better but... My son cried after they baked. They look like plain old cookies. The lego shape completely disappears.
BWAHAHAHAHA -- your son cried after they baked! Did you check to make sure his training bra wasn't on too tight? Because that shit can cause serious discomfort. I mean, I'VE HEARD (I wear my roommates bra while she's at work).
Thanks to rox, who once won a bake off and bake on IN THE SAME DAY.
Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale
Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!
One more shot after the jump.
Aug 4 2009 What Took So Long?: A Death Star Cookie Jar
I don't know if you could tell, but that's not an actual photograph. It's just some concept art for what the cookie jar should look like when it's actually manufactured in some third world nation for pennies. Available in September for $50, this Death Star cookie jar protects your delectables with a giant, planet destroying laser beam. Okay, maybe just a lid. BUT A LASER WOULD BE COOL TOO, AM I RIGHT? No, I'm left. Haha, who's sinister now?! I kicked an old lady!
Product Site
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Death Star Cookie Jar Keeps Sweets Safe From Everything But the Force [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once used the Force to taste brownies while they were still in the oven. Impressive.
Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food
Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!
Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!
Jul 30 2009 Don't Eat The Pan!: Pac-Man Oven Mitts
This $12 Pac-Man Hothead from Fred is a silicon oven mitt that's "ready to eat the heat". Or, I dunno, your cookies! I like how the inside of his mouth looks like a Pac-Man level, I thought that was a nice touch. But not as nice as yours. No seriously -- this back isn't gonna rub itself.
Product Site (click 'buy' and 'shop online' if you want to find a place that sells them)
Jul 13 2009 You're Not So Uncatchable Now, Are You?: Anatomy Of A Gingerbread Man
Jason Freeny, the man behind all the other weird anatomy studies we've featured (and possibly a med school dropout), is back at it, this time with a gingerbread man. Which reminds me: one Christmas my mom made a batch of gingerbread cookies before dinner and said I could only have one or I'd spoil my supper. Well, long story short, I ate like fifteen and got so sick I puked under the Christmas tree. I blamed it all on the dogs. You know what -- it feels good to finally tell somebody. I've been meaning to get this off my chest ever since it happened. 2008 was a bad Christmas for the Geekologie Writer.
Thanks to Jason, the man behind the scalpel.
Apr 2 2009 Apple iPhoto, You're Almost Too Good
This is a picture of some delicious cookies waiting to be baked, and as you can see, Apple iPhoto spotted a face in the crowd. ZOMG -- is that you, Mr. Cookie Bear?! OM NOM NOM NOM!
Thanks to Duan, who once tried to bake a real bear but the tranquilizer dart wore off and it broke out of the oven and destroyed his kitchen.
Feb 8 2009 Do It Yourself: How To Make Pixel Cookies
This is a chunk of cookie dough made by extruding individual "pixel logs" out of a Play-Doh machine and stacking them to form a design. Flickr user SeattleJonman has a little picture tutorial if you want to see the process, it's pretty basic. Now, if they just tasted like Girl Scout Cookies we'd be in business. The hell yeah business. Any guesses what this particular design is? Here, I'll give you a hint: tape your buttcheeks together.
Hit it to find out.
Continue Reading " Do It Yourself: How To Make Pixel Cookies "
Feb 5 2009 Idiot Tries To Strangle Girlfriend With Wiimote
In the latest of video game-themed attacks, a guy tried to strangle his girlfriend with the cord of a Wiimote. And I'll tell you -- he even LOOKS like the kind of guy that'd try to strangle someone with a video game controller. What a quarter-pound of fail.
An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.
The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after.
First of all, you don't ever try to strangle a woman, that's pathetic. And secondly, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never, ever, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, come between a woman and her Girl Scout Cookies. You're lucky to be alive, Alvarez, now kill yourself.
Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller [statesman]
Thanks to Jordan, who once tried to choke his roommate with a PS3 controller. The plan was doomed from the start.
Dec 3 2008 Highly Questionable: Stoned Sesame Street
This is a Sesame Street ripoff featuring the Pot Cookie Monster. You know, because he loves pot cookies. Now as someone who's done several people's fair share of drugs in their life (do as I say kids, not as I do), I found it lacking. I question if the makers have ever actually made a GB out of a Mountain Dew 2-liter or eaten a peanut butter and mushroom sandwich. Just saying, I spoke to a parking cone for over an hour. Good people.
Thanks to Hunter, who knows the magic's in the butter. And also, the hat. We're on to you Frosty!
Jul 9 2008 Idiot Kid Tries To Feed Cops LSD Cookies
Christian Phillips, 18, of Lake Worth, Texas, was arrested for delivering baskets of drugged cookies to police departments in the Dallas area. Christian, who we will now refer to as Dishonorable Captain Meltyface of the USS Acidprise, decided to be charitable with his stash of LSD and make some psychedelic cookies for the area police force. He was arrested after police were "tipped off that someone was falsely claiming to deliver treats on behalf of Mothers Against Drunk Driving." Wow man, that was kind of a dick move. You could have at least manned up and said you were from NORML or something.
"Our officers took a good whiff and thought they smelled like marijuana," McGuire said, adding that preliminary tests instead detected traces of LSD.The suspect denied trying to contaminate the goodies or harm anyone and said one of his friends might have been smoking pot while Phillips was baking, McGuire said. The suspect is not affiliated with MADD, the chief said.
In Fort Worth, at least three officers got sick after eating some cookies and candy from a basket delivered to that police station Monday night, authorities said.
First of all, Captain Meltyface, you should have made donuts. And secondly, police, you don't get "sick" from eating laced cookies and candy, you get "tripping". You know, like the ceiling looks really awesome and and you see faces in a brick wall. Sick is a fever and diarrhea. Tripping is light trails and crawling around on the floor because the ceiling is two feet high.
Hit the link for the full story.
Teen Accused of Giving Cops LSD Cookies [aolnews]
Thanks Pat, you wanna drop and then walk around town and comment on people's yards?
Mar 28 2008 Mr. T Cookie Jar Keeps Cookies Safe, Fool!
Listen up, fool! Stuff your cookies in my head and I'll help keep them fresh and safe from annoying rugrats. And if I catch one standing on a stool trying to get at them I'll bite the little bastard's fingers off. I'm Mr. T, damnit. I pity the fool that tries to get up in my dome piece and steal cookies. F***, I need more necklaces. My head feels light enough to float off. Quick, more bling, I got no time for the jibba-jabba!
Mr. T's World of Warcraft commercial and a must see music video called Treat Your Mother Right, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Mr. T Cookie Jar Keeps Cookies Safe, Fool! "
Feb 8 2008 The Taste Is Strong With This Cookie
Well it's been awhile since we've seen any Yoda inspired delicacies, but at long last comes another, this time in cookie form. They were created by dessert maker Zoë Lukas to celebrate the upcoming Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin Institute Science Museum in Philadelphia. I'd eat one. Hell, I'd eat a bunch of them as long as they're not Yoda flavored. I've heard the taste of a 900 year old shriveled Jedi master just isn't as appetizing as one would think. Shocking, I know.
Another picture of the cookies after the jump.
