Apr 30 2009 Good Eats: A Whole Chicken In A Can
Hungry? Yeah, but are you whole chicken in a can hungry? That's right folks, Sweet Sue's Canned Whole Chicken (without giblets) is an entire cooked chicken in a can (a big one). Equally perfect for camping trips or throwing up everywhere! Hit the jump to see an uncanning in progress, which will leave you wondering why you've ever eaten anything else. Then go get one. You'll be doubled over on the bathroom floor with the runs quicker than you can say "I think I ate the asshole"! Bon Appétit!
Hit it for the uncanning. Really makes me want one.
Dec 1 2008 The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls. Alternatively, Developing An Eating Disorder
Wow. Last week it was cooking with paste, and this week, actual balls. The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls is completely uncalled for and contains many delicious rocky mountain oyster recipes. An excerpt from the 'About The Author' section:
Ljubomir Erovic has been cooking testicles for over 20 years.
When not cooking or eating testicles, or helping others to do so, he now runs a company involved in the maintenance of medical and dental equipment.He is married with one daughter and one testicle.
*HORF* When will the insanity end? I completely understand the "waste not, want not" mentality of using all possible edibles on an animal, but the balls? Those things weren't made for eating -- they were made for necklaces. BLING!
Hit the jump to see how to properly peel a testicle and a testicle pizza. Both of which will make you puke if you've eaten recently. Cheers!
Aug 4 2008 Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation
Well forks -- can I call you forks? Good, anyway my loyal sporks, the Montauk Monster mystery has been solved. Turns out it was my sister. Haha, Tracey -- that's what you get for mom and dad always loving you more. Fine, so nobody has identified what the hell the beast is yet. But there is another picture, along with three horrible Photoshop fakes (all included after the jump for your FAKE!ing pleasure). Oh, and an interview with the three women that found the thing. They say they've got the corpse decomposing in a box at a friend's place. SICK! And also, start the grill. I'd really believe this was all a hoax if the three chicks seemed mentally capable of tying their shoes. But they're not. I think they're Velcro girls. So, my spoony friends, check out all the media after the jump and draw your own conclusions. But remember -- even bloated, fugly monsters need love. Isn't that right, Tracey? HOLY MOTHER OF....PUT YOUR BAG BACK ON BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH A STICK!
Hit the jump for a new picture, three obvious Photoshoppings, and a painful interview with three life failures.
Continue Reading " Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation "
Jul 30 2008 Monster Washes Ashore In Montauk
Allegedly this is a picture of some unknown monster that washed ashore in Montauk, on the eastern tip of Long Island. Obviously it's fake, because 1. like a girlfriend that doesn't make me want to blow my eardrums out, monsters don't exist, and 2. whoever made it modeled the damn thing after Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (minus the shell). Anybody know what movie this is a viral for? After a little interweb spelunking my guess is a film adaptation of The Montauk Project. Apparently it centers around governmental time-travel experiments, but does feature some sort of alien monster coming to Earth. So, yeah, that's my guess -- which, I might add, is 120% correct. Because if it's not, I'll just edit the post and change it to be right. In case you haven't noticed folks, all your interweb are belong to me.
I'll update the story and let you know what's up when the truth is discovered.
Click through to see the uncensored version. Warning: It's fugly.
