Oct 27 2009 How To: Never Lose Your Remote Again
If you can manage to lose this remote you're doing something seriously wrong. Or drinking a lot, in which case you're actually doing something seriously right. What a dichotomy!
Dad's Lost The Remote For The Last Time [thereifixedit]
via
Never lose your remote control again with this simple, cheap DIY solution [crunchgear]
Thanks to jules and DaveS, who only use the controls on the television because they lost their remotes. Should have had them grafted to you like I suggested!
Oct 16 2009 That Looks Awful: Samurai Gaming Joypad
There comes a time in every gamer's life when you have to ask yourself, "Is the original manufacturer's controller good enough, or should I opt for a questionably constructed peripheral that looks like a skeletal samurai?" Enter the $25 Warrior USB Joypad. Did I mention the samurai's eyes glow green and the face mask is removable? Because that should make it a no-brainer. Suck it, Dual Shock, your ass just got feudal Japan-inated!
Hit the jump for a picture of the rear and one with the face mask on and eyes glowing. YOINKS!
Continue Reading " That Looks Awful: Samurai Gaming Joypad "
Sep 23 2009 R2-D2, Gaming Droid Has Eight Consoles Packed Inside His Tummy, Head Projector
Popular Science reader Brian De Vitis (truth in Brian) went and stuffed eight different gaming consoles into a life-size model of R2-D2. Can you name all of them? Because I can. I'm just not going to because I don't feel like it. SO THERE. I love wire tangles!
Hit the jump for a shot of R2's insides. Also, first one to name all eight systems doesn't win a prize. These are not the consoles you're looking for!
Continue Reading " R2-D2, Gaming Droid Has Eight Consoles Packed Inside His Tummy, Head Projector "
Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento
This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.
The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.
Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!
Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]
Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.
Jun 29 2009 Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell
Some guy went and stuffed a wireless doorbell into an old NES controller. That is all. There's a video of it in action after the jump. SPOILER ALERT: it goes ding-dong.
Hit it for the video. MASH THE BUTTON. DO IT. YOU MASH IT GOOD!
Continue Reading " Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell "
Jun 19 2009 Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification
Link is possibly NSFW depending on how your boss feels about vomit on your keyboard. GRAPHIC: LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
After the jump you will find a picture of BME member Metal_Games, who had the likeness of a NES controller cut into the back of his leg AND THEN THE SKIN REMOVED. Hey, different strokes for different folks. I like freestyle.
The stencil went on, and we were ready to go. Starting with the lines, the pain wasn't half as bad as I'd expected. In fact, it was a breeze for the most part. It took Jeffrey, the artist, about 20 minutes to cut all the lines. A couple of deep breaths, and we went straight on to removing the skin...
Fun fact: it took me five smelling salts to write this post.
Hit it if you dare.
Continue Reading " Wow, Just Wow: NES Controller Scarification "
Jun 15 2009 Super Mario Bros. Controlled With A Theramin
God, finally -- Super Mario Bros. the way it was meant to be played.
Theremin-Controlled Mario Offers Glimpse of a Bizarre Motion Gaming Alternate History [gizmodo]
Jun 4 2009 Playstation Announces Own Motion Controller
Not to be outdone by XBox's announcement of Project Natal, Playstation brought their own motion controller news to E3. But, unlike Project Natal, which motion captures your entire body, the Playstation version relies on a magic dildo. This is a rather long demonstration of the device presented by two Sony engineers (one nervous, one stoned), so feel free to skip around. But not breakfast, that shit's important.
Thanks to Mister J, who once kicked Mister T's ass in a gold-off.
Jun 2 2009 XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller
XBox announced Project Natal at E3 yesterday and, hooray. Basically it's a video camera capable of full-body tracking so that you can punch and kick and break your television to your heart's content. This is a video of the possibilities. Also, there's another video after the jump that introduces Milo, which appears to be some kind of pedo-program that makes it easier to troll the interweb for 12-year old boys. Because, let's face it, AOL chatrooms are beat, yo.
Hit the jump for the other video that made no sense and not just because I stopped paying attention and went to heat my burrito (ladies?) after thirty seconds.
Continue Reading " XBox's Project Natal: You ARE The Controller "
May 12 2009 So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral
So this is the first look at the DJ Hero turntable peripheral. As you can see, they make it look like a turntable, but with buttons (and sadly no knobs). Three of them. Let's see, there's a, um, purple one, a yellow one and a....and a....*sniffle* I never learned my colors! But I did learn my tastes. OM NOM NOM. Ass. This sandwich tastes like ass.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
Continue Reading " So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral "
May 4 2009 X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles
Flickr user Reintji went and took a bunch of x-rays of video game consoles and controllers, from both today and yesteryear. And also, the future. Just kidding, no future. If time machines existed you'd know it because I'd be writing steamy romance novels about the time I banged a dinosaur but was left only partially satisfied because the third member of our ménage à trois got eaten by a Megalosaurus on the way to the party. So yeah, what I just said. Boom, great tie-in.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more (use file names for identification) and a link to the full Flickr gallery.
Continue Reading " X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles "
Apr 30 2009 I'd Buy One: The NES Controller Mouse
Sadly, the NES Controller Mouse is only conceptual. But, if there's enough consumer interest, I'll step forward and manufacture them myself (read: collect money for pre-orders and skip the country). Capitalism baby, gotta love it. Also, self-conscious strippers and breakfast cereal options.
nintendo nes controller mouse: when can i buy one? [technabob]
Thanks to Matt, Julian and RaDe, who know Count Chocula and Cap'n Crunch make the world go round. Illuminati.
Apr 24 2009 Robotic Heli-Sniper Is Sadly No ROFLCopter
The army is testing out a new robotic-helicopter mounted sniper rifle for urban warfare because, well, CONSPIRACY! Are you ready for this? Our government is....are you sitting down? Our government is....ROBOTS! AAAAAHH! Did you hear that? I thought I heard something.
It's called the Autonomous Rotorcraft Sniper System. It mounts a powerful rifle onto highly stabilized turret, and fixes the package on board a Vigilante unmanned helicopter.The system is intended for the urban battlefield -- an eye in the sky that can stare down concrete canyons, and blink out targets with extreme precision. Attempting to return fire against the ARSS is liable to be a near-suicidal act: ARSS is described as being able to fire seven to 10 aimed shots per minute, and it's unlikely to miss.
Thankfully, the system is not autonomous (yet) and relies on a ground-based pilot with AN XBOX 360-LIKE CONTROLLER to maneuver and fire. Haha, and everyone said all those hours headshotting prepubscent boys in Halo wouldn't get you anywhere! *sniff* I'm just so proud, you little army of one, you!
Army Tests Flying Robo-Sniper [wired]
Thanks to Bo, Lethak, WunderKraut, jk and Todd, who, BOOM, headshot!
Apr 20 2009 Matthew Perry Seeks Medical Attention After Injuring Hands Playing Video Games
Matthew Perry, with nothing to do since Friends went off the air like twenty years ago, has taken to playing video games. Like an addict. Seen here about to take his first hit with Snoop Dogg, Matthew has a serious gaming problem. So serious he had to seek medical attention after damaging his hands.
The actor admits he spends days on end glued to the screen playing war games on his XBox, ruining the muscles and tendons in his hand.
Perry says, "I play a lot of video games a lot of XBox 360. I played Fall Out 3 so often I had to go to a hand doctor. I used my hand too much and had to get injections in it."
Nice try, Mr. Perry, but I suspect the real culprit here is a little thing I like to call chronic masturbation. Been watching a few too many Friends reruns, have we?
Perry's videogame-mangled hand [yahoonews]
Thanks to Edd, who particularly likes the episodes where you can see Rachel's nipples through her shirt (read: all of them).
Mar 26 2009 UPDATE: You Will Like Today's Woot! Shirt
UPDATE: BACK IN STOCK FOR A LIMITED TIME, GO HERE TO GET ONE.
Unfortunately they sold all 3,000 of them between midnight and 6:47 AM this morning. But don't worry, I'm sure a design this popular will be available for regular sale soon. So somebody feel free to drop that link in the comments when it becomes available. Or hell, maybe I'll actually keep up with it and post it here myself as an update. After all, I am turning over a new leaf. And also, this dead squirrel I found in the road. ZOMG, ZOMG, its guts are hanging out!!
Mar 26 2009 DIY: Homemade Tupperware Joysticks
People have been going all nuts for arcade-style joysticks since Street Fighter IV dropped, so much in fact that the official $150 FightSticks are sold out everywhere online and fetching around $300 on eBay and other sites. Ain't that some shit! But now you can make your own with a little Tupperware and ingenuity. Sure it looks ridiculous, but just think how much more ridiculous it would look if it was also a fishtank. IT WOULD LOOK SO RIDICULOUS! Tupperware fishtank arcade joystick FTW! Also, fun fact: "Chun Li panties" is surprisingly not a recommended search term on Youtube. However, I did manage to find a "Street Fighter 4 butt shots/ upskirts" video. Posted after the jump!
Hit it, pervert.
Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!
Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.
Hit the jump for the NES controller.
Continue Reading " Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail! "
Mar 24 2009 Tired Yet?: The Periodic Table Of Controllers
Haha, just when you thought the periodic tables were beat to death with a lead pipe like the way I did that hooker zombie last night -- think again! WICKA-POW, the periodic table of controllers! Hit THIS BUTTON to see a bigger version. You know, one you can actually read. And speaking of actually reading -- I never learned. Thank God for speech recognition software, am I right? End post. Google "dinosaur porn". Delete. Google "dinosaur porn triceratops". What the? I said END POST. Strike out previous six sentences. I SAID STRIKE OUT PREVIOUS SIX SENTENCES. Shit. Oh well, nobody actually reads Geekologie anyways, right? Google "dinosaur porn stegosaurus".
And Now, The Periodic Table of Game Controllers [gizmodo]
Thanks to ardas, who MOM CAN YOU PUT A KID CUISINE IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ME?
Mar 11 2009 Race Car Controlled With Blackberry Storm
So apparently some guys programmed a Blackberry Storm to control a little toy race car using its accelerometers. Then they posted the video on Youtube. Then McLaren saw the video and contacted them about using the device to control a real race car. And that's what they did (second half of the video). Pretty neat. Sure, not as neat as controlling a race car with your mind, but hey, we'd have to go to the aliens for that technology. Which would probably require a few sacrificial probings. Just saying, I'm friends with them. Ladies? No? Okay, plan B. Effeminate gentlemen?
Thanks to Curtis and Troy, who both know race car is the same spelled forward and backwards. It's palindromic!
Mar 10 2009 Control Your iPod With Facial Gestures
That's right, thanks to Kazuhiro Taniguchi of Osaka University, soon stopping the music on your iPod will be as simple as sticking out your ass-shaped tongue.
The Ear Switch looks like a normal set of headphones, according to an Agence France Press report, but includes a set of sensors that allows its on-board computer to measure tiny ear-canal movements.
The result, Taniguchi claimed, is that "an iPod can start or stop music when the wearer sticks his or her tongue out".He added that the user can also skip to the next track by widely opening their eyes or skip back by winking. Other facial expressions could also be programmed to control other features.
Well that's a relief. I mean seriously, my fingers get tired of pushing all those little buttons anyways. I can see the bus now: wait, did you just wink at me? I said, STOP THE WINKING! That's it buddy, fisticuffs -- you asked for them!
Boffin unveils facial expression-controlled iPod [reghardware]
Thanks to Rick and krabivana, who control their iPods the way God intended: with child laborers.
