Nov 6 2009 Impressive: Hasbro Star Wars Diorama Contest

Unbeknownst to me Hasbro has been holding a Star Wars diorama contest. This is a sample of one of the finalists titled 'Captain Solo Awaits His Fate in the Carbon Freezing Chamber'. I would have gone with 'Hey, You Said This Place Was a Strip Club', but whatever. Hit the jump to see the rest of Han getting frozen and the four other finalists. Then, go vote if you want to. Or don't, it's no skin off my back. But I do wish it was the skin off my pudding, because I can't stand that shit. WHICH IS WHY I NORMALLY STICK TO SNACK PACKS. *ahem* Mom.
Hit the jump for a bunch more diorama.
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Oct 31 2009 HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Have Fun Everyone!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! This is me in my get-up last year just before losing the costume contest and sai-ing all the judges in the face. Everybody have fun out there tonight and remember to be safe (but not too safe). Also, if you see a David after the Dentist stumbling around, that's me (I scored a nitrous tank!). HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Oct 13 2009 It's Just So....Beautiful: Amazing Sand Art
This is the winner of the hit television series Ukraine's Got Talent, Kseniya Simonova, showing off her sand manipulating skills. And let me tell you, it's impressive. Almost as impressive as the time I made a three-bucket sandcastle at the beach before the ocean washed it away. DAMN YOU, POSEIDON, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!
Thanks to Joemo, Misa, Harriet and naas, who have all kicked sand in an opponent's face during a fistfight.
Oct 4 2009 Bangladeshi Man Kills 83,000 Rats, Wins TV

Seen here doing God knows what, 40-year old Bangladeshi farmer Mokhairul Islam killed 83,450 rats from January to September and won the coveted #1 Rat Slaya title. His reward: a 14-inch color television.
Proof of his accomplishment came in the form of 83,450 rat's tails delivered by Mr Islam to local officials.
"Rodents are the most feared enemy for farmers, so it is an honour to win this prize," he said.The competition aims to reduce the damage done to crops in the impoverished land, with an estimated 6.5 million rats killed this year. The Government estimates that as much as 10 per cent of Bangladesh's annual harvest of rice, wheat and potatoes is devoured by rodents.
Pfft, for that kinda prize I woulda killed at least twice that many rats. WITH LASERS. Just saying, you ever had laser-roasted womp rat before? I have -- on Tatooine! Also, don't tell Luke but I've seen Leia naked. He might get jealous!
Farmer wins TV for killing record number of rats in Bangladesh [timesonline]
Thanks to trishna87, who's actually Bangladeshi and I've promised to help win the title next year. I hope we get a cassette player!
Sep 10 2009 Finally: The Buckyball Haiku Contest Winners

First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to grade your haiku, but I took my time and read EVERY SINGLE ONE. I just wasn't expecting 1,600 entries, since I didn't even get that many comments ON MY BIRTHDAY. Read: everyone who entered but didn't wish me a happy birthday was disqualified. I jest. But seriously, you all did great and I'm very proud of the quality of poetry (most of) you wrote. Also, a bunch of you are clearly special needs. But that's okay, so am I. We'll have more contests in the future just as soon as people contact me with free swag to give away (I'm looking at you, Mercedes). Also, I can't stress how near impossible it was to choose winners. I haven't slept in four days trying to sort through all this awesome. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the winners:
Grand Prize:
407. AM
Powered by man flesh
Robots hunt down last blogger
Cry Geekologie
Runners Up (in no particular order):
1014. pellaz
Red skies born in flame
Metal masters torment us
Prophet was ignored
74. Matt
On the internet,
Dangerous to go alone...
Take Geekologie
1221. well thats nice
The Robots bring doom
So before we are all killed
Post Zelda Side Boob
There you have it, I guess I was really feeling Zelda and the robot apocalypse (but don't think I didn't enjoy your dinosaur entries -- they made me so hot!). I will be contacting the winners tomorrow. And again, it really was impossible to choose winners. I had the field narrowed down to 190 (including yours) and had to choose four. But don't worry, you'll win next time. Thanks for participating everyone, and I don't care what everybody else says: you're all winners in my book.
Sep 2 2009 CONTEST: Win Free Buckyball Magnets!

That's right folks, you wanna win your very own set of Buckyball rare earth magnets? Well you're in luck, cause I've got 5 free sets to give away!
Each set contains 216 powerful rare earth magnets that can be shaped, molded, torn apart and snapped together in UNLIMITED WAYS. Make sculptures, puzzles, patterns, shapes, stick stuff to the fridge, invent a new game--trying to find something more useful is useless.
The magnets regularly sell for $30 plus $6 shipping (buy two get free shipping), but the first 40 people to order and use promo code "geek" will get 20% off.
As for winning a free set, I'm holding a haiku contest. If you don't know what a haiku is go HERE (no seasonal reference necessary). To read Anticlown's contest policy go HERE. Then, enter your best Geekologie themed haiku IN THE COMMENTS. I will be choosing one grand prize winner to win two (2) sets, and 3 runners up to each receive one (1) set. I will be judging based entirely on my own sense of theology and geometry.
ONE POEM PER EMAIL ADDRESS. I WILL CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'VE ENTERED MORE THAN ONCE IF YOU WIN. So go open a million different Gmail accounts. Contest ends 5 PM Eastern, Sunday, September 6th and winners will be announced that night. I have provided the haiku below to get you all started.
The Geekologie Writer
Never Touched A Girl
There you have it, now GO GO GO!
UPDATE: CHECK YOUR POEMS, 5-7-5 SYLLABLES FOLKS, NOT WORDS. Not following proper format will result in disqualification and me whipping your ass.
UPDATE UPDATE: STOP SENDING THE HAIKU AS TIPS ENTER THEM IN THE COMMENTS I WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Jul 17 2009 Guy Gets Palm Pre Tattoo To Win Free Phone
Some jackass went and got a Palm Pre tattoo on his arm in an attempt to win a free phone. Wow, I don't even know what to say. Except, ZOMG -- I'm getting a Ferrari tat!
Thanks to Brian, the actual tattoo artist, for at least giving the man a good looking Pre.
Jun 3 2009 Miss Atom 2009: Nuclear Power In My Pants

So apparently Russia has been holding the Miss Atom contest since 2004 and I have yet to be a guest judge. That's some sauce, Russia. Vodka sauce. Anyways, here is Miss Atom 2009, Yekaterina Bulgakova, who was picked out of the 350 contestants that all work in the Russian nuclear power sector. Nice. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I was hoping for three boobs too.
Official Site
via
Russia selects Nuclear Beauties 2009 [mosnews]
Thanks to Void, who slept with like thirty of the contests and now glows in the dark.
Apr 15 2009 Floating Cloud Sofa Looks Comfy, Conceptual

The Cloud is a levitating sofa that floats thanks to magnets and, I suspect, a tiny wizard. Unfortunately, it's only conceptual. Which, for those of you who don't know what conceptual is, means really soft. You should buy one.
Cloud is a sofa concept designed for ultra comfort and relaxation. The soft floating upper part is supported by the magnetic force generated by the bottom base. No matter if you want to work and sit with comfort or simply a power nap to release the stress, you can always enjoy your time to relax on the floating cloud.
Designed by D.K. Wei (no relation to that barrel throwing bastard), the Cloud recently won honorable mention (3rd loser) in a relaxation design contest. Which, wait a minute, relaxation design contest -- WTF is that? Fifth of gin and a handful of Valium. BOOM, blue ribbon.
Cloud magnetically levitating sofa is the greatest couch concept, ever
Mar 25 2009 Stephen Colbert's Name On Space Station

Stephen Colbert just won a contest to have a new section of the International Space Station named after him. Unfortunately, those sticklers at NASA probably won't let it fly -- or orbit (ZING!).
The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.
NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins.Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report" to write in his name - and they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes.
NASA reserves the right to choose an appropriate name. Agency spokesman John Yembrick said NASA will decide in April, but will give top vote-getters "the most consideration."
Colbert sounds just as good as Serenity if you ask me. But they're both kind of weak. I was sort of hoping for something with a little more pizazz. Namely, "The GW's Intergalactic Boom Boom Room: where the beer is yesterday's urine and the lapdances are OUT OF THIS WORLD®".
Comic Colbert wins NASA space station name contest [yahoonews]
Thanks to Pepe Le PEWPEW, who wrote in 'The PEW PEW Room', which I agree, does have a ring to it.
Feb 26 2009 Kid Designs Homeless Domes Out Of Trash

12-year old Max Wallack is a boy. A 12-year old one. Max Wallack, 12-year old boy, understands the plight of the homeless. Not really, because he's never been homeless, but he still feels for them all the same. Did I mention he's an inventor? 12-year old boy-inventor Max Wallack designed a homeless dome for the less fortunate, out of trash.
12-year-old Max Wallack stole the show at Design Squad's Trash to Treasure contest with his "Home Dome." The dome provides shelter for the homeless and is made from plastic, wire and packing peanuts.
This isn't his first big win. "When I was six," Max said, "I won an invention contest that included a trip to Chicago. While there, I saw homeless people living on streets, and beneath highways and underpasses. I felt very sorry for these people, and ever since then, felt that my goal and obligation was to find a way to help them. My invention improves the living conditions for homeless people, refugees, or disaster victims by giving them easy-to-assemble shelter."
Good looking, Max, I'm proud of you. It's a nice change to see a youngster finally using their superpowers for good. Because if I were you I'd have been x-ray visioning through all my teacher's shirts. ZOMG, check out the chest hair on that shop teacher -- it's like a forest!
Hit the jump for a video about Max and his invention.
Continue Reading " Kid Designs Homeless Domes Out Of Trash "
Feb 24 2009 Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan

Apparently 25-year old Amanda Johnstone from South London was chosen by XBox as the UK's hottest Halo fan. I find it a little hard to believe, but who knows, I'd still Chief it.
At this point, we'd love to tell you (Miss World Style) about her charity work, measurements and star sign, but sadly we can only inform you that aside from walking round her house in a skimpy top and hot pants, Amanda runs her own events management company, hangs about the Halo Club night at The Cross, Kings Cross, London, sings karaoke and walks her pet Chihuahua 'Chiefy'. Come on, at least it's not quite as obvious as calling it Halo. Ok, maybe it is.
Eh, she's okay. I doubt she can actually play Halo though. I would have thought the UK's hottest Halo fan would have been more, you know, caught in a house fire. Did that just get you excited? It did me! It's called pyrophilia folks, and I've got it.
Continue Reading " Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan "
Dec 9 2008 Good Job: Steampunk'd Star Wars Characters

We've already seen steampunk'd Star Wars here on Geekologie. First in LEGO form, then as a Vader helmet, then figurines, and, most recently, a steamy little R2. Well recently, the Society of Digital Artists held a little Steampunk Star Wars contest, and these are some of the winners. Now tell me, does being all Victorian make Princess Leia any less bangable?
A: No, provided she remove the burning coals from her vajayjay.
Hit the jump for several more winners.
Continue Reading " Good Job: Steampunk'd Star Wars Characters "
Dec 1 2008 CONTEST: Win This Awesome Monty Python Box Set
Want to win the ridiculously awesome Monty Python Collector's Set shown above? Of course you do. The set features a 21-disc box set with four seasons of the series, two new-to-DVD documentaries, two live performances, and six "personal best" compilations. Just head on over to our sibling site I Watch Stuff for all the contest details.
Nov 11 2008 Design Contest Mimobot Flash Drives

Mimoco, the company best known for making cute USB drives (particularly the Star Wars series), recently held a contest in which fans were encouraged to design their own Mimobot and submit them for voting. Well the ballots were cast, and these are (five of the) six winners, each made into a real Mimobot. Available in 1, 2, 4 and 8GB capacities, they'll set you back $25, $35, $50 or $80, respectively. I really want the Russian Cosmonaut myself. And not just because I'm building a rocketship and blasting off to the moon (although I totally am). Nope, I'm just a man that loves good Russian vodka. You ever broken the top off a bottle so you have to finish the whole thing in one sitting? Mmmm, something about the broken glass really makes your stomach bleed.
Sep 18 2008 Large Hadron Collider Gets New Name

The Royal Society of Chemistry in London recently held a contest to rename the Large Hadron Collider. The votes are in, and the doomsday machine's new name is *drumroll please*....Halo!
After sifting more than 2,500 responses, ranging from The Big Banger to Infinite Devil Machine and The Matter Splatterer, it has now selected a winner to rechristen the vast enterprise.
"Halo conjures visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom. The circle of light reflects the collider's form; it is a crowning achievement of science and engineering. It also gives more than a nod to the experiment's importance to religious debate."
Visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom? I get it -- like Master Chief, right?
Large Hadron Collider: Public chooses 'Halo' as its new name [telegraph]
Thanks to Kevo and Mikeeeeeeeeeeeee, both of whom swear they voted for the much catchier 'Oh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck'
Aug 27 2008 Grown Man Builds LEGO Boba Fett Costume

Simon, a grown-ass man, went and built himself a full Boba Fett costume out of LEGO pieces. As you can see, it's pretty damn impressive. Right up there with that little kid's cardboard Halo arsenal. Hit the jump for a bunch more of Simon and his costume, along with a Vader version he made as well. Uh-oh -- I just had the most brilliant idea ever.
Introducing the First Annual Geekologie LEGO Leia's Golden Bikini Contest! Full rules follow.
1. Contestants must construct and model a LEGO Golden Bikini
2. Digital photo required in entry
3. Must be holding a sign that reads "Geekologie" or "I Love You Geekologie Writer, I Want To Have Your Babies But Know You Don't Want Kids Right Now And I'm Totally Cool With That" or something similar so I know it's for the contest
4. No dudes
5. Hey you -- the guy that thought it would be funny to still enter anyways: stop.
6. LEGO pieces optional
7. Bikini optional
8. Naked photos only
Contest ends when I feel like it. Winners will be notified by personal stripper-gram. Your choice: fireman or police officer, I play both equally well.
Hit it for the photos.
Continue Reading " Grown Man Builds LEGO Boba Fett Costume "
Aug 27 2008 Game De-makes: BioShock For Gameboy

The Pixelation forum ran a contest for users to create screenshots of what modern games would look like on the Gameboy. As you can see, that's BioShock, and there's a pretty good Twilight Princess and Guitar Hero after the jump. The board's current contest is to make your own Mega Man level, within the color and graphic limitations of the original NES games. Pretty neat stuff, and there's definitely a good amount of talent out there. Check it out and give it a go if it's your cup of tea. If it's my cup of tea, slip in a roofie when I go to the bathroom. I'm trying to get crunked.
Hit it for the other two mock-ups.
Jul 29 2008 Ask Palpatine Contests: Star Wars Prizes

Askpalpatine, a website that encourages watchers to, well, ask a geriatric Palpatine puppet questions, is now holding a couple contests -- and one gives you the chance to win Star Wars related prizes! The first (no-prize) contest involves renaming Emperor Palpsmear.
The contest is called "What's my name?" People've been asking what Palpatine's real name is, but he's so old, he's forgotten, and he's looking for viewer's help: suggest the best new name for Palpatine, and that will become his name. No prizes, but credit and web-show fame.
That's easy -- Ol' Lightning Hands. Piece of cake. The next contest should prove more difficult though. And it involves prizes.
This one's called the "Design a Better Vader" contest. Basically, Vader's armor is getting a little long in the tooth, and could use some sprucing up. Viewers are being encouraged to submit a new design (sketch, painting, 3D model, whatever) of what a new, more bad-ass Darth Vader ought to look like. The winner gets a secret prize, and the winning design gets made into a puppet which will be featured on the show. We're still working out the specific prizes, but they will be awesome, and they will be Star Wars-related. Keep watching the skies! There will be one grand-prize winner, that's for sure. There will also be a number of runner-ups, too. Probably 3.
Hell yeah, I'm on it!
UPDATE: Finished! My sure to be winning entry is posted after the jump.
Continue Reading " Ask Palpatine Contests: Star Wars Prizes "
Jul 21 2008 UPDATE: Star Wars Gets Fine Art Treatment

Well, we've already seen some Star Wars fine art in the past, but now Worth1000 just ran a 2-day contest to see who could make the coolest Photoshopping using Star Wars characters and classic art pieces. The one there is a take on Napoleon Crossing The Alps. But instead of Napoleon, it's Darth Vader. Darth Vader riding a horse -- like he would ever do that! So ridiculous. Hit the jump for a few more of my favorites, and make sure to hit the link for a bunch more. A lot of them are really freaking good, especially considering the artists only had two days to complete their work. Of course, if I had entered I would have totally won. I'd have used Jacques-Louis David's Death of Marat, but instead of Marat in the tub, it would be Jar Jar! With more blood. Lots more blood. Somebody send me a ribbon.
Note: Anybody that wants to actually make that, please do and send me a link so I can throw it up and give you a shoutout for your l33t photohaxoring.
UPDATE: Readers MadMonkey and Bryan were kind enough to make some. Hit the jump to see them.
Continue Reading " UPDATE: Star Wars Gets Fine Art Treatment "

