Oct 25 2009 Gutsy: This Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake

Listen, if you can convince your wife that a dead tauntaun would make the perfect wedding cake I WANT YOU TO HOLD ON TO THAT WOMAN. I want you to hold on tighter than you do the dashboard when she's driving (I've seen your knuckles! Also, the way she drives). That said, you think they cut the cake with a lightsaber? I mean, it's only appropriate. Also, a slave Leia jumping out and humming the Star Wars theme. What can I say, I'm a natural wedding planner.

Hit the jump for four more shots, including a cute Stormtrooper couple.

Continue Reading " Gutsy: This Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake "

Oct 5 2009 For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks

Doctor Elena Bodner won this year's Ig Noble Prize for Public Health with a bra designed to turn into two functional gas masks should the need arise (and why wouldn't it?).

The aim of the awards is to honour achievements that "first make people laugh and then make them think".

The Ig Nobel Prizes were presented to the winners by genuine Nobel laureates.

Past winners also returned to take part in the celebrations. They included Kees Moeliker, the discoverer of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck, and Dr Francis Fesmire, who devised the digital rectal massage as cure for intractable hiccups.

Wow, what an elite group. You've got to admit though, a gas mask bra is pretty clever. Granted, not as clever as the gas mask underwear I just invented, but you act like you've never seen a guy with worn panties on his face before. THIS IS NORMAL IN JAPAN!

Hit the jump for the worthwhile complete list of winners.

Continue Reading " For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks "

Oct 4 2009 Bangladeshi Man Kills 83,000 Rats, Wins TV

Seen here doing God knows what, 40-year old Bangladeshi farmer Mokhairul Islam killed 83,450 rats from January to September and won the coveted #1 Rat Slaya title. His reward: a 14-inch color television.

Proof of his accomplishment came in the form of 83,450 rat's tails delivered by Mr Islam to local officials.

"Rodents are the most feared enemy for farmers, so it is an honour to win this prize," he said.

The competition aims to reduce the damage done to crops in the impoverished land, with an estimated 6.5 million rats killed this year. The Government estimates that as much as 10 per cent of Bangladesh's annual harvest of rice, wheat and potatoes is devoured by rodents.

Pfft, for that kinda prize I woulda killed at least twice that many rats. WITH LASERS. Just saying, you ever had laser-roasted womp rat before? I have -- on Tatooine! Also, don't tell Luke but I've seen Leia naked. He might get jealous!

Farmer wins TV for killing record number of rats in Bangladesh [timesonline]

Thanks to trishna87, who's actually Bangladeshi and I've promised to help win the title next year. I hope we get a cassette player!

Sep 1 2009 Geekologie Readers Find Love On Omegle

Remember the article from a while ago about Omegle, the website that gets you randomly chatting to some stranger with candy? Well two Geekologie Readers hooked up on the site after reading the article about it and are now madly in love and totally gonna get married and have a white picket fence or whatever the hell people do whose marriages don't end in bitter divorce. Per Jessica, the lucky lady:

well i'm in this relationship...and i must tell you we met on the infamous OMEGLE. ...no i am not lying....i totally would have saved our conversation if i'd known we would be in this relationship now....annd...i think we'll end up getting married one day.....HOW WEIRD IS THIS???

How weird is this? More like HOW AWESOME AND CONGRATULATIONS GUYS. I took a stab at OMEGLE-ING love myself (picture above) and you can see how well it worked out for me. Promising in the beginning, penis-y in the end: the life and times of the Geekologie Writer.

Omegle

Thanks Jessica, Geekologie wishes you two the best.

Aug 28 2009 I Could Do Better: LEGO House Construction

Remember the story about the house in Britain that would be constructed entirely out of LEGO blocks? Well this is it, mid-construction. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed that it has a wooden infrastructure. I thought the whole damn thing was gonna be LEGO, right down to the john.

This two-story Lego palace, which resides in the middle of a vineyard, sports a working bathroom, and is covered inside and out with bricks pieced together by 272 Legos. Over three million bricks were used to build the Lego pad, so doing some quick math here -- that's over 816 million Lego pieces!

I have no idea whether the math in that quote I used is correct or not, the important thing is that it's Friday and I am putting pants on for the first time this week and getting the hell out of here. Town, prepare to be painted red! With vomit. I like fruity drinks!

This Old House: UK Toy Master Builds House From Legos [geekstir] (with a whole gallery of construction pictures)

Thanks to jessica and Rogefgv, who once built a house of K-Nex but it was blown down by the big bad wolf and then he ate them. The end.

Jun 11 2009 Um, Hooray?: Smurf Party Sets World Record

Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt you can score a Guinness World Record for absolutely anything, a group of 2,510 students in Swansea, UK donned Smurf costumes and became "the largest gathering of people dressed as Smurfs". Wow, that's a whole lot of blue penises.

The record was previously held by the town of Castleblayney in County Monaghan, Ireland, which recorded 1,253 Smurfs gathered in the high street last year.

"This is just the beginning of our world record run. We are hoping to set, break and smash Guinness World Records for iconic characters from Daleks to Superheroes. Watch this space."

Well, isn't that something? I'm all for the continued cosplayery. May I suggest the largest crowd of naked female Wonderwomen anything. Also, you can't trust those goons from Guinness, so I'll be officiating.

Hit the jump for a partial shot of a Smurf's ass.

Continue Reading " Um, Hooray?: Smurf Party Sets World Record "

May 6 2009 Another Day, Another Star Wars Wedding

Duncan Thomson, 41, and Sammi Gardiner, 39, just got married on Star Wars Day in a Star Wars themed ceremony. And you know what they say about a couple that Star Warses together: they, uh, probably go to conventions and collect action figures?

During the wedding, Mr Thomson told his bride: "I promise to protect you from carbon freezing and promise to protect you from the Dark Side, through hyperspace and into the far reaches of the galaxy."

The couple had to remove certain Star Wars references from the 20-minute civil service because "Jedi" is a recognised religion, he added.

The bride's ring was made out of meteorite found in Canyon Diablo in the US, engraved with: "May the 4th be with you."

The couple, from the Isle of Wight, even invited the movie's director George Lucas, who wrote back to them saying he was unable to attend.

Oh really, George was 'unable to attend', huh? Do you think he was really unable or just TOO BUSY BEING A GIANT DICK AND TURNING HIS BACK ON HIS FANS. *flicking George the bird* You see this, George -- this one's for you. Yeah, and this ain't no regular bird either -- that's a Millennium Falcon, bitch!

Star Wars inspires couple's bizarre sci-fi wedding [telegraph]

Thanks to Tiago, who plans to marry in a Geekologie-themed wedding. Nice, Tiago, but NO ROBOTS.

Apr 10 2009 Ashley, This Is Joseph, Will You Marry Me?

Ashley, Joseph wants you to marry him. And I trust Joseph's judgment since you're the one that introduced him to Geekologie in the first place. Plus, I'll vouch for him too since he did send me a news tip once and I used it. Obviously you both have great taste. In addition, you two make a very beautiful looking couple. And that's not just the awesome king's throne you're sitting on talking! But if it could, it would say "Geekologie Writer, sit thine rear upon my seat and dine on this most delicious turkey leg". And there would be mead, and I would drink it out of a jeweled goblet. *sniff* I told myself I wouldn't cry.

Ashely and Joseph met during a school musical in 2004 and have been going steady ever since. For their first date they went to see Passion of The Christ, which is arguably the world's greatest date movie. Joseph wailed like a baby.

So, as you two go forth and continue to nourish each other in mind, body and spirit, remember: a couple that Geekologie's together, is really sick has a strong foundation and great sense of humor.

In all seriousness though, I wish you two the best.

So, Ashley, will you marry Joseph?

Feb 25 2009 How Romantic: Man Proposes At LEGOLAND

So some guy proposed to his girlfriend at LEGOLAND in Las Vegas, apparently because every other place in Vegas was too crowded. With hookers. Crowded with hookers. *booking flight*

Cobb proposed to Williams with the help of a "Lacey Will You Marry Me?" sign hand-crafted by one of the park's master model builders and displayed as a part of "The Strip" Lego site.

"I wanted to do something special," Cobb said, "and this idea just popped into my head one day."

Unfortunately, Williams walked right past the sign, which was mounted on a mini replica of Paris' Eiffel Tower and decorated with two four-inch bride and groom models of the couple - twice - before Cobb got down on one knee.

That's romantic as shit, Cobb, good looking. And you know what they say: a couple that LEGO's together, eventually winds up experimenting with them in the bedroom and having to make a late night visit to the ER. Medical bills, folks, I have them.

Fort Collins man proposes at Legoland [coloradoan]

Thanks to Aaron, who proposed to his girlfriend at Six Flags like a normal person.

Feb 20 2009 WOOT!: This Is My 3,000th Geekologie Post

That's right folks, you are looking at a model of prolific writing. Well technically, a Zelda shield cake I just looked up on the internet. But that's not what's important, that's just what you're going to bake me tonight for forgetting this momentous occasion. 3,000 articles, wow. And you guys have contributed 70,425 comments to said articles -- good looking! I remember back when I wrote my 100th post I was pretty confident I was going to run out of things to say soon. Yet, another 2,900 later, here I am in the same soiled boxers. Thanks to all of you that read the site regularly and enjoy it. And even to those of you that read the site regularly but hate me and wish I'd go screw off and bang a dinosaur. Because I will totally do that. Thanks everyone!

Zelda Cake: Never Say Never [kotaku]

Feb 5 2009 Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes

Kamani Hubbard was recently born with 12 fully developed (and functional) fingers and toes. I'm jealous -- I was born with a nubbin next to my left pinky and they cut it off at birth. But the nipple on my back is still there. Nice one, doc.

"It's merely an interesting and beautiful variation rather than a worrisome thing," said Dr. Michael Treece and St. Luke's Hospital Pediatrician. "I would be tempted to leave those fingers in place. I realize children would tease each other over the slightest things, and having extra digits on each hand is more than slight. But imagine what sort of a pianist a 12-fingered person would be. Imagine what sort of a flamenco guitarist. If nothing else, think of their typing skills."

"I just want him to see what greatness will be in store for him," said the baby's proud father.

Greatness, huh -- like being an illustrious blogger? I AM TEH L337 P4WNR OF INTERWEBZ!

A couple more pictures of the mad digits after the jump.

Continue Reading " Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes "

Jan 28 2009 Exclusive Follow Up: A Match Made In Halo

Remember Desirai Labrada and John Henry, the couple that met playing Halo and planned on getting married this month in a Halo-themed wedding at Otronicon? Well they did it folks, the couple is how happily married and PEW PEWing away to their hearts content together.

The ceremony started just after 1 p.m. in the Science Center's theater. Onstage, a screenshot from Ivory Tower, one of the wedding couple's favorite "Halo" levels, was projected, and a string quartet played songs from the game's soundtrack. Atop an incline of stadium seating, Master Chief began his walk down to the stage followed by John and his groomsmen, their ties marked with the winged-sword emblem of John's "Halo" character. Bridesmaids -- including a matron of honor who just months before had confessed that she didn't know who Master Chief was -- proceeded to their positions. And then, instead of "Here Comes the Bride," Desirai entered to the dramatic score of the "Halo" menu music.

Awesome. Congratulations Desirai and John, Geekologie wishes you the best and many kills to come. Also, I've been inspired to have my own video-game themed wedding the next time I get married. Zelda all the way, baby. Isn't that right honey? Honey? Goddammit.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, a video, and some exclusive insight into the awesomeness provided by my bridesmaid tipster, evilcharismatic.

Continue Reading " Exclusive Follow Up: A Match Made In Halo "

Jan 14 2009 26 Years Later, Man Solves Rubik's Cube

It took Graham Parker 26 years to finally solve the Rubik's Cube he bought back in 1983. If you can't tell by the picture, he's really proud of himself. Kind of reminds me of the first time I ate a 72-oz steak and got my picture on the wall.

'I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it,' the 45-year-old from Portchester, Hampshire, said. 'It has driven me mad over the years - it felt like it had taken over my life.

'I have missed important events to stay in and solve it and I would lie awake at night thinking about it.

'I have had wrist and back problems from spending hours on it but it was all worth it. When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid colour, I wept.'

Wow, Graham, so you're a little crybaby, huh? Now I'm not saying there's ever a time when a person should just accept their own mental inadequacies and bail on a project, but damnit Graham, that time was 25½ years ago.

Man takes 26 years to solve Rubik's Cube [metro]

Thanks to Praveen, who can solve a Rubik's in under a minute using either the "hammer" or "new stickers" methods.

Jan 8 2009 Super Mario Bros. Knocked Off As Best-Selling Video Game Ever, Your Wii Mii Rejoices

That's right folks, Wii Sports is now the best-selling video game ever. And not just because it comes bundled with the Wii, but 100% because it comes bundled with the Wii.

Shocked? Don't be. Unlike most video games that can be bought at retail, Wii Sports comes bundled with the Wii hardware in every territory other than Japan and Korea. In other words, if you bought a Wii, you bought Wii Sports whether you liked it or not (chances are, you liked it). With over 45 million Wiis sold worldwide to date, it's only logical that Wii Sports would start smashing records sooner or later.

And before you brand Wii Sports a false champion due to being bundled with hardware, consider that Super Mario Bros. was also sold as a bundle with the original Nintendo Entertainment System during its mid-80's heyday.

Well hooray. More importantly, did anybody notice that I Photoshopped Mario's fingers so he's now holding up two (for second place!) instead of one? Because I did that. I also took the pinky off his other hand. Gambling debt.

Wii Sports is best-selling game ever [yahoo]

Thanks to D.K., who may or may not still attend anger management classes for all the barrel throwing.

Dec 15 2008 I Hear Wedding Bells!: A Match Made In Halo

John Henry and Desirai Labrada (PsychoVandal and SickNdehed, respectively) met playing Halo in 2004 and are now getting married in a Halo themed wedding at this year's Otronicon gaming convention in Orlando, FL.

They met when she lived in New York and he was in Florida. She'd become Xbox Live friends with his roommate, and they slowly started to play games together, regularly. When he didn't show up online one day during the time they usually played, she sent him a message and her phone number.

"I was drawn to her laugh," John said in a phone interview with MTV News earlier this week. "I had made her laugh a few times and thought her laugh was kind of cute."

They played "Halo" as teammates. As they were falling in love, they tended to protect each other a lot, watching each other's back as lasers and grenades fell around them. And in an act of sacrifice only possible during a blossoming romance, Desirai agreed to take Dramamine so she could last through three-hour binges of campaign mode on "Halo 3" with John without getting motion sickness.

That's true love.

That IS true love. Don't give up readers, there's hope for you yet. The wedding goes down January 17th and I'm totally gonna crash it (with permission). God and booze willing, I'll even make out with a bridesmaid. Oh, and apparently the event is receiving some negative attention regarding the couple's decision to go with a video game themed wedding. Which, I think we can all agree, is utterly freaking stupidtalk. I've got news for you folks: I got married in a non-Halo themed ceremony, and you know what? That marriage went straight to shit. Coincidence? No.

A heartfelt congratulations to the husband-and-wife to be.

Halo' Wedding Planned By Two Video Game Fans; Master Chief Will Officiate [mtv]

Thanks to evilcharismatic, my woman on the inside, who promises to keep me posted on the awesomeness as it develops. Expect a followup post after the event.