Nov 18 2009 I'll Miss You: Pirate Bay Tracker Shut Down

Well folks, it happened. The Pirate Bay BitTorrent tracker officially kicked the bucket yesterday. What does this mean for Pirate Bay users?

Although the site will remain operational for now, millions of BitTorrent users will lose the use of its tracker and will instead have to rely on DHT and alternative trackers to continue downloading.

"Now that the decentralized system for finding peers is so well developed, TPB has decided that there is no need to run a tracker anymore, so it will remain down! It's the end of an era, but the era is no longer up2date. We have put a server in a museum already, and now the tracking can be put there as well" the Pirate Bay crew write on their blog.

And what does this mean for iTunes users?

iTunes sucks, there's no porn on iTunes.

HELL YES I QUOTED MYSELF IN AN ARTICLE! I know shit -- I can say things!

The Pirate Bay Tracker Shuts Down for Good [torrentfreak]

Thanks to Bill, who hasn't paid for music since the Green Jellö cassette with 'Three Little Pigs'.

Nov 13 2009 Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa

This is a recreation of Da Vinci's 'Mona Lisa' made entirely out of motherboard parts (plus a frame). It sits in the ASUS headquarters in Peitou, Taiwan and is almost half as good looking as the motherboard 'Starry Night' I made. Which I just so happen to be selling for $10 million. If you're interested shoot me an email and I'll start smashing every desktop in this computer lab ship it out as soon as the check clears.

Two closeups after the jump.

Continue Reading " Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa "

Nov 12 2009 Early Computing: Children's New Alphabet

Is this how today's children learn the alphabet? No. Is this how tomorrow's children will learn the alphabet? Probably not. Is spanking the best way to teach your children things? My parents thought so, and look how smart I am. Well, you can't physically SEE how smart I am. What you're looking at is called handsome.

How Today's Kids Learn The Alphabet [verybored]

Thanks to Nick, who learned the alphabet the old fashioned way: he didn't. His tip was nothing but wingdings and a link!

Oct 29 2009 A-Ha!: So THAT'S How Twins Are Made

This is a cute pair of twins rocking Mac copy/paste shirts. There's a shot of twin boys after the jump wearing the Microsoft equivalent. Honestly, did you know this was how twins were made? Because I didn't. I just thought you had to do it twice in a row!

Hit the jump for the boys.

Continue Reading " A-Ha!: So THAT'S How Twins Are Made "

Oct 23 2009 Dirt Slingers!: Apple Ad Taking On Windows 7

This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft's new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it's even a real word, spell check didn't say anything so I'm going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple. Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you're reading this: I'd be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin' (contact me for shipping address).

Youtube

Thanks to Kevin, who doesn't take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.

Oct 5 2009 Little Family Moves Into A Computer Case

Not a real one, silly! You'd have to have a freaking giant computer (or tiny family) for that to happen. What is this, the 50's? No, cause sexual harassment didn't exist back then. Back me up, Mad Men. I love you, Don! I thought that latest cigarette ad campaign of yours was absolutely great -- really killer. See what I did there?! Killer -- like cigarettes! Hire me Don, I have to be around you!

Hit the jump for two more shots of the dollcase.

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Aug 30 2009 Dual Screen Laptops Here Before Christmas (You Hear That, Santa? You Fat Bastard You)

So apparently the dual 15.4" screened gGscreen Spacebook will be released in time for Christmas this year. Also, the elves I've been holding hostage. BUT ONLY IF SANTA MEETS MY DEMANDS.

The Alaska based company, started by Gordon Stewart (yep, that is where the G in gScreen comes from), is aiming its dual screen laptops at professional designers, filmmakers, photographers and really anyone who can't live without a dual screen for everyday productivity...The chassis (which we expect is at least 12 pounds) is built around the 15.4 inch screen (though the first units that come to market will have 16-inch or 17-inch screens) and its twin, identically sized screen slides out from behind the first using a uniquely designed sliding mechanism.

They will run Windows 7 and be powered by Intel Core 2 Duo processors, 4GB of RAM and high-end Nvidia GF900M GT discrete graphics. The plan is for fast 7,200 RPM hard drives and six or nine-cell batteries...."It is absolutely the opposite of a netbook," he told us. Yea that is no kidding with a price tag that he is hoping to keep under $3,000.

Damn! 30" of screen real estate, that's a lot. This thing isn't even a laptop any more. It's a muffintop. ZING!

GScreen's Dual-Screen Spacebook Coming Soon(ish) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Melissa, Mark and Mike, whose names all begin with the letter M. What? I NOTICE THESE THINGS! Did you get your hair cut? All of them, good one.

Aug 27 2009 100 Years Of Movie Special Effects In 5:00

This is a little video montage of notable special effects from movies in the past 100 years all packed into a five minute clip. And as you'll see, we haven't come very far. I want to be able to feeeeeel the movies. I read Brave New World in high school! Also, almost half of a Shakespeare play. Now it's all comic books and cereal boxes.

100 Years of Special Effects [collegehumor]

Thanks to Paul, who once got specially infected by the government and now has the power of three men.

Aug 22 2009 High Security: USB Drive Has Number Lock

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you're really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99).

[The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you'll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there's also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too.

Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera?

Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.

Aug 9 2009 No, Wrong, No: $32,000 Golden Computers

I don't care if a computer can run a real-time simulation of the Big Bang while playing Crysis at the highest settings and rendering a HD home movie you made of the neighbor's dog humping a stray cat, it shouldn't cost $32,000.

Gaiser High End Design PCs range from $7,820 to $32,300, and it isn't because they've got such great components. No, it's because they have 24 carat parpartial gilding with gold leaf.

Yeah, no. Although, I DID just think of a computer that is worth $32,000. It's called my old laptop, and I'll even sign it for you. And, not to get your hopes up, but it may contain some nudey pics (I'll make sure it does).

Jul 22 2009 That's Geeky: Poster Of Computer Hardware

This is a poster of computer hardware designed by deviantART user Sonic480. Since it's kind of small, you can see a full size version HERE. Then, print it out and tack it to the ceiling above your bed. Move over, Megan Fox, there's a new poster in town my room. Just look at those CPU sockets -- YOW YOW!

The Computer Hardware Chart Identifies Your PC's Parts [lifehacker]

Thanks again to GreenBoss, who once beat FuchsiaBoss in a silicon chip eating contest.

Jul 21 2009 Brand Keyboard Replaces Letters With Logos

The Brand Keyboard, designed by Ignacio Pilotto, has logos instead of letters on all the keys. That's neat.

BRANDS : Adidas - Burger king - Coca Cola - Disney - Ebay - Facebook - Google - Hp - Intel - J&b - Kodak - Lacoste - Mac donald´s - Nike - O2 - Pepsi - Quaker - Rolling stone - Shell - Twitter - Unilever - Virgin - WordPress - Xerox - You tube - Zippo

The repetition of the logos used by the advertising psychology, causes us to systematically recognize the brands, getting us to recognize the logos rather than our own alphabet.

Psychology, I love psychology. One time I brainwashed a whole craft room full of senior citizens into thinking I was Jesus, then demanded a tithe. Whee! Next stop: hell.

The Brand Keyboard [geekygadgets]

Thanks to GreenBoss, who controls his rainbow of minions from his throne in the Emerald City.

Jun 2 2009 Winner Of Baby Race Crawls For Laptop

First of all, I bet on baby races all the time ($40 on the bald one with a dirty diaper). And secondly, Kajus Aukščionis recently won a Lithuanian baby race and is a super fast crawler. Not as fast as me, but I have a special skill set. But what gets young Kajus crawling so fast? Laptops. The little haxor loves those things and bolts to them whenever he sees one. It's true, I heard one time he shat through his diaper in Best Buy he was so excited.

Lithuanian Baby Racing Champion Mired In Performance-Enhancing Laptop Scandal [gizmodo]

Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, who may or may not have fallen asleep at the keyboard.

May 23 2009 Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive

This is a USB drive that looks like a spoonful of cereal. And, just like Mary Poppins would say, "a spoonful of cereal helps the....WHY ARE THERE GRAPE NUTS IN MY LAPTOP, YOU LITTLE BITCHES?!?"

Hit the jump to see a video of the cereal in action.

Continue Reading " Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive "

May 8 2009 Computer Repairman Breaks Into Office, Steals Hard Drive, Charges To Fix It

Kevin Andrew Lutes (28, of 2121 Cypress Road, Bethlehem, PA) is probably the best computer repairman ever. EVER.

Lutes, who had fixed computers for Action Realty in the past, was called the day after the break-in to repair the broken computer's hard drive. He told the owner he could retrieve her lost data and files.

Meanwhile, the owner of the company called the computer manufacturer, who told her it was impossible to retrieve the data without the hard drive. Police then discovered Lutes' car, with a computer repair sticker on the door, was seen parked in front of the office on the night of the break-in.

On Friday, Lutes brought the computer back with all the lost data and tried to charge the company $50 an hour for 40 hours of work.

Wow, $2,000 to return the computer you stole, that's just good business if you ask me. Get the Better Business Bureau on the phone, I think somebody in Bethlehem deserves a medal. It's baby Jesus!

Computer repairman charged with theft [morningcall]

Thanks to John and Reanda, a married couple who Geekologie together. Nice, guys, I like your style.

Apr 28 2009 Supercomputer To Compete On Jeopardy!

If you haven't heard, an IBM 'Blue Gene' supercomputer is going to compete on Jeopardy! and show us humans just how good for nothing we are. We don't even excel at remembering trivial information! I'll take 'OMG, We're Screwed' for $600, Alex.

The IBM researchers who created Watson -- an homage to IBM founder Thomas J. Watson Sr. -- have said that they are not confident yet that their creation could compete well on the show. The New York Times reports that human champions are able to provide correct response 85% of the time to questions asked.

The computer will offer answers to the question via a synthesized voice and will choose its own follow up categories. IBM says that for the show, the computer would not be connected to the internet. How Watson will be presented and what gender the computer will be are under consideration. A screen and a projected avatar are one consideration.

You know what they should make the computer look like? Alex before he shaved that beautiful stashe of his. Loved that thing. I've even written him several letters asking him to regrow it. What do you say -- one last ride for old times' sake?

IBM Supercomputer to Compete on Jeopardy! [dailytech]

Thanks to Steve, Lisa, Mike, cougar78 and uglybuckling, all of whom could beat Ken Jennings.*

*In a bikini contest.

Apr 24 2009 Cat Appears Wirelessly Controlled By Printer

This is Molly the cat. Molly the cat appears to be wirelessly controlled by the actions of this home printer. It's a very special connection. Not as special as my printer and I, but that's only because we've been going at it since junior-high. Isn't that right, Inky? Now tone me. Oh yeah, baby. Darker!

Youtube

Thanks to the-iguana, who once shot a man for calling him an anole.

Apr 22 2009 Music To My Ears: Old Computer Parts Performing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

Some guy went and programmed a whole bunch of old computer parts to perform Queen's iconic 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. You just have to see it to believe it. But, you can read this first if you want:

No effects or sampling was used. What you see is what you hear (does that even make sense?)

Atari 800XL was used for the lead piano/organ sound
Texas Instruments TI-99/4a as lead guitar
8 Inch Floppy Disk as Bass
3.5 inch Harddrive as the gong
HP ScanJet 3C was used for all vocals. Please note I had to record the HP scanner 4 seperate times for each voice. I tried to buy 4 HP scanners but for some reason sellers on E-Bay expect you to pay $80-$100, I got mine for $30.

Ha -- and you probably thought your computer was musically inclined. Think again, sucker -- your shit just got Beethoven'ed out of the water! I'm talked like BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM -- BUM-BUM-BUM-BOOOSHED, son!*

*That was Beethoven's 5th for you uncultured bitches.

Youtube

Thanks to meeotch, Jake the Ripper, Tyson and killerabbit, whose computers can't even play video games. Sad shit, guys.

Apr 8 2009 Best Mouse Ever: The LED Message Mouse

The $21 LED message mouse has an LED laden fan in it that spins around and displays whatever barely decipherable message you want, while at the same time keeping your hand sweat-free during a particularly intense "gaming" (read: fapping) session. Granted, you won't be able to actually see your message while the device is in use, but that's a small price to pay for the awesome you know is just on the other side of your hand. Obviously, I'm talking about your hairy palm. Seriously bro, give it a rest.

Hit the jump for another shot and a video of the rodent in action.

Continue Reading " Best Mouse Ever: The LED Message Mouse "

Mar 31 2009 Puff Puff Pass: USB Smokeless Cigarettes

Need a nicotine fix but can't leave your cube? No problem! Puff on a Health E-Cigarette from Thanko! Identical to pretty much ever other electronic cigarette out there, the $30 device "uses a heating element to vaporize a nicotine solution to supposedly give you a purer smoking experience", which is just fancy marketing jargon for, "short-circuit and burn your office to the ground". Trust me folks, I hold a Master's in Marketing. And also, Lovemaking. You see this? You see this move I'm doing right now? Senior thesis, baby.

Thanko's USB-powered Health E-Cigarettes sound healthy [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who once got caught smoking a tampon in the boy's room because some upperclassmen told him it was a cigar.