Oct 22 2009 BSoD Belt Buckle: A Problem Has Been Detected And Your Pants Have Been Shut Down To Prevent Damage To Your Privates

This is a blue screen of death belt buckle. It costs $17 and is currently on back order until November because everybody wants one for Halloween so they can dress up as people with novelty belt buckles. Pfft, like that'll win the costume contest.

The Blue Screen of Death (also known as a stop error, BSoD, bluescreen, or Blue Screen of Doom) is a colloquialism used for the error screen displayed by some operating systems, most notably Microsoft Windows, after encountering a critical system error which can cause the system to shut down to prevent damage.

Let's just hope the wearer of this sexy geek belt has a bit more luck!

How can you tell if a geek belt is sexy or not? Because looking at this one I wouldn't have known. But now that I do I'm gonna wear like four around my head like karate headbands. Sweep the leg, GW!

Product Site

Thanks to naas, who doesn't need a belt because boxers have elastic bands.

Sep 30 2009 Video Game Deletes Files Off Your Computer

Lose/Lose is a video game created by Zach Gage that plays like a traditional space shooter, but with a twist!

Lose/Lose is a video-game with real life consequences. Each alien in the game is created based on a random file on the players computer. If the player kills the alien, the file it is based on is deleted. If the players ship is destroyed, the application itself is deleted.

Although touching aliens will cause the player to lose the game, and killing aliens awards points, the aliens will never actually fire at the player. This calls into question the player's mission, which is never explicitly stated, only hinted at through classic game mechanics. Is the player supposed to be an aggressor? Or merely an observer, traversing through a dangerous land?

Why do we assume that because we are given a weapon an awarded for using it, that doing so is right?

I didn't actually bother reading all that because oh I dunno, I WAS TOO BUSY WHIPPING SOME ALIEN ASS! Unfortunately, the bug-eyed bastards got me in the end. Now, what happened to Photoshop?

Zach's Porfolio (game is available for download there)

Thanks to Luciano, who managed to kill all the aliens AND save the princess AND see Samus Aran naked because the man is a damn hero.

Sep 10 2009 Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me

This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn't. I have no idea whether it's fake or not (I don't think it is), but that's not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn't be allowed to operate computers (or motor vehicles, unless they're driving me to the mall with my friends). And I'm not just saying that because my stepfather walked in to use the computer during one of my more risque webcam shows, but he did. And started dancing. Yeah, it was awkward. But only in the beginning.

Hit the jump for the rest of the conversation.

Continue Reading " Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me "

Sep 1 2009 It's No Wrist Rest: The Computer Key Seat

Don't smile at me like that! I can tell these $125 computer key seats have been around for a while because of the '© 2004' text in the image. What can I say, I'm observant. Hey -- I saw that! Anyway, this was the first time I'd seen these chairs so they're new to me. If they're not new to you, congratulations, you've been around the block (internet whore).

This unique stool is a great low-tech item for any computer geek. Insert this eye-catching seat in the dorm, game room or even an internet café . The contoured shape holds your backspace just like your finger rests in a key. Measures 22 inches square and 15 inches high and has 'sit' printed on the top. We also offer to customize these stools with your own message or logo.

Yes, but I want mine to be a delete key. Get it? Because I want to delete my fat ass! I heard you want an insert. HIYO!

Product Site

Thanks to Kristin, who wants an escape.

Aug 30 2009 You've Got Mail!: Oldschool Computer Mailbox

Who the hell still rocks those oldschool CRT monitors? You do? Oh, sorry. Truthfully, I still rock a 21-incher myself. HIYO! Anyway, this is a $230 computer mailbox fabricated out of wood and a traditional mailbox so that some punkass teenagers can come bat the shit out of it. I don't recommend them. But I do recommend you paying me $100 to make you a modern flatscreen monitor mailbox. Sure it'll just be an unpainted piece of particleboard with a whole cut in the middle, but what did you expect? Watch your bills just blow away! But not into my yard, I'll call the cops.

Computer Mailbox: You see, grandma? This is how e-mail works [dvice]

Aug 20 2009 Not Worth It: Shop Keeper Fights Laptop Away From Thief WHILE AVOIDING PEWs

This is a video of a shop keeper in Mexico fighting his laptop away from two would be thieves while being shot at. Now I'm not saying this guy has cojones de oro, but I am saying he must have some seriously illegal shit on that laptop.

Store Clerk Dodges Bullet to Keep His Laptop From Getting Stolen [gizmodo]

Aug 11 2009 Questionable: The Personal Rockin' Computer

The PRC chair allegedly stands for Personal Rockin' Computer. But how on earth you would ever use a computer in that thing is beyond me. I mean, I couldn't even comfortably fry my nuts with a laptop in it. Plus, it costs a staggering $4,200. Can you say, "tractor tire"? Because I can. No, I'm fairly confident this thing is a glorified sex swing for the rich. Seriously, just look at that provocative tart in the picture. She definitely only knows one kind of hard drive and RAM if you ask me. Gosh what a hussy (let me get those digits, girl).

The PRC is your Personal Rockin' Chair [dvice]

Aug 5 2009 This Page Is Stupid And Cannot Be Displayed

This could be older than dino bones (but NOWHERE NEAR as sexy) for all I know, I just thought it was humorous because I pretty much see this message all the time and it makes me want to put my fist through the computer screen. Which I don't hesitate to do. Seriously, I'm already on like my fourth laptop. Of the day.

This page is stupid and cannot be displayed [org.nz]

Thanks to Nik, who once punched through his monitor and broke one of the internet's tubes.

Jun 19 2009 It Was Only A Matter Of Time: 128GB Flashes

That's right, the folks over at Kingston are about to drop a 128GB flashbomb on the world. Available next month, the 128GB DataTraveler 200 will cost a staggering $547. SO DON'T WASH IN IN YOUR JEANS. Still, 128GB -- do you realize how much porn that is? *ahem* Me neither.

Kingston's Flash Drives Hit 128GB [uberreview]

Jun 18 2009 Eye Of The Tiger, Baby: Rocky III USB Drives

Looking to add a little homoerotic flair to your computer? How about the characters from Rocky III performing sit ups in a USB port? Available in Apollo Creed, Rocky and Clubber Lang (who's making the best face) varieties, the $30 port-humpin' fools are sure to get a rise out of coworkers. Or should I say, a sit up. Rise? Okey-dokey.

Rocky III USB drives sadly missing Burgess Meredith version [engadget]

Thanks to STOMPY, Julian, MoD and thedevine1, who all received the Presidential Fitness Award in middle school.

Jun 16 2009 I'm On To You: SNES Really A PC In Disguise

It may look like a Super Nintendo, but really IT'S A TRAP! PC. I particularly like the CD slot.

...here is a cool case mod by quangDX and DuPPs. Using the Super Nintendo and the Acer Aspire One A150, they have created a SNES PC Case Mod. The controller ports have been converted to USB adapters (via a faux controller cable), the cartridge is a CD drive and the cables are plugged in through the back.

Now as good as it does look, I must admit to being anti-stuffing one console into another one's body. It leads to identity crisis -- and identity crisis leads to hookin' on the street corner for pirated software. And if you're reading this: please come home my little MacBook Dreamcast!

Hit the jump for several more shots of the trickery.

Continue Reading " I'm On To You: SNES Really A PC In Disguise "

Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans

The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.

The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.

Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?

Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]

Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.

May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk

Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.

Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?

Well, wonder no more.

A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.

According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.

The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".

143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!

Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.

Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk "

May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz

This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.

This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]

Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.

May 8 2009 Computer Repairman Breaks Into Office, Steals Hard Drive, Charges To Fix It

Kevin Andrew Lutes (28, of 2121 Cypress Road, Bethlehem, PA) is probably the best computer repairman ever. EVER.

Lutes, who had fixed computers for Action Realty in the past, was called the day after the break-in to repair the broken computer's hard drive. He told the owner he could retrieve her lost data and files.

Meanwhile, the owner of the company called the computer manufacturer, who told her it was impossible to retrieve the data without the hard drive. Police then discovered Lutes' car, with a computer repair sticker on the door, was seen parked in front of the office on the night of the break-in.

On Friday, Lutes brought the computer back with all the lost data and tried to charge the company $50 an hour for 40 hours of work.

Wow, $2,000 to return the computer you stole, that's just good business if you ask me. Get the Better Business Bureau on the phone, I think somebody in Bethlehem deserves a medal. It's baby Jesus!

Computer repairman charged with theft [morningcall]

Thanks to John and Reanda, a married couple who Geekologie together. Nice, guys, I like your style.

Apr 13 2009 Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0

Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I've been looking for a way to spice up the ol' love life, and my hand doesn't go numb anymore. So I've been thinking about ordering a hooker. I guess what I'm getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into the bedroom safe? And, if so, what do you guys recommend?

UPDATE: Hello, 911? YEAH -- THERE IS A HOOKER ON FIRE IN MY APARTMENT! My name? My name is *click*

Candle Fail [failblog]
via
In a Fight Between Candle and Laptop, Candle Usually Wins [gizmodo]

Apr 9 2009 Eva? No, A WALL-E Computer Case Mod

We've already seen Gamecube WALL-E, LEGO WALL-E, paper WALL-E, and wooden WALL-E, so it was only a matter of time before somebody went and case-modded the handsome little devil.

This project took 18 days from this Russian guy to accomplish. It all has began after he has watched that cartoon. An idea sparked thru his head "I want to build such thing to hold my computer stuff in it". A solid-metal Wall-E computer case, each detail carefully cut from the metal sheets processed and put in place.

Nice. I posted a couple more pictures of the finished product after the jump, but if you hit the link you'll be magically transported (thank you, internet!) to the build page with like a hundred billion-zillion incredibly slow-loading pictures of all the milling and metalwork that went into the thing. And speaking of things going into things....WALL-E was a trash compactor. I AM THE TIE-IN KING!

Hit the jump for a bunch more of the cuteness.

Continue Reading " Eva? No, A WALL-E Computer Case Mod "

Apr 9 2009 Bumptop: Your Own Personal 3D Desktop

Bumptop (which has been in the works for awhile) is a program that makes your desktop appear 3D and much more customizable and manipulable so you can resize icons according to importance and post stuff on the walls and all around have a jolly ol' time not being productive. It's a free download (for light, $29 for full), so go grab it and then show it off to your office-mates. Yell things like "BOO-YA!" and "FINGERBANGARANG!" while showcasing its features to let them know how superior your desktop is to theirs. But, if they're anything like me, they may tell you your desktop sucks and that their desktop is 4-D. At this point, you'll go back and forth 1-upping each other with ridiculous claims of 5-D and 20-D desktops, until one of you says theirs is actually Infinity-D . Then they other (you want this to be you) will insist they have an Infinity+1-D desktop, and that person will win.

Hit the jump for a video explaining all the fun to be had.

Continue Reading " Bumptop: Your Own Personal 3D Desktop "

Mar 9 2009 Typing By Taste: A White Chocolate Keyboard

It's a keyboard. It's white chocolate. Aaaand that's all I've got. I don't think it's full-sized. It might be though. But I doubt it. Also, if you ladies out there like white chocolate, that's what I'm made of. But if you don't like white chocolate, then I'm milk chocolate. Unless you don't like chocolate at all, in which case I'm caramel -- sticky sweet and drizzled all over your sundae. I don't even know what that means but I am so craving a banana split right now. Do you like strawberry topping, baby? Awh yeah. How about that pineapple stuff? See, I hate that shit. I don't think this is gonna work out after all.

Teclado de chocolate blanco [noquedanblogs]

Thanks to Romeo, who is allegedly made out of Magic Shell if any of you ladies are interested.

Mar 7 2009 Sleek Computer Case Designed By BMW

This is a prototype computer case designed by BMW and Thermaltake. It's called 'Level 10' and would get the shit stomped out of it by my 'Level 80' Paladin.

What a brilliant idea -- let's stop hiding PC components inside boxes, shine them up in stainless steel and black air-directing shrouds, and leave those innards out in the open for all to see. The concept is similar to those lofts with all the exposed piping and ventilation ductwork. It's positively postmodern.

Uh, am I the only once that noticed it doesn't look anything like a car? WTFBMW? Seriously, call me back when it has anti-lock brakes and a leather interior. Oh, and heated seats.

Level 10: the inside-out PC from an alternate dimension [dvice]

Thanks to DZ and Gingerbird, who once joyrode a BMW straight into a lake.