Aug 19 2009 Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail
Not to be outdone by Dell's L337 shipping practices, HP decided to ramp up their efforts to show that THEY hate this planet even more. What's in the box? Hit the jump to find out. And no, it's not a tiger. But good guess.
Hit it. DO IT NOW!
Jan 14 2009 Morons Who Named Their Son Adolph Hitler Lose Their Kids To Youth And Family Services
Remember Heath and Deborah Campbell, the two failures at life that named their children Adolph Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie? Well, unsurprisingly, they've had their kids removed from the household by the New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services because they're freaking idiots and shouldn't have been allowed to breed in the first place.
No reason was given for why the children were removed, however, and Holland Township police chief David Van Gilson told the site they had not received any reports of abuse or negligence.
Um, naming your son Adolph Hitler IS abuse.
"They're just names, you know," Heath Campbell told the Easton Express-Times in December. "Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that."
However, Heath reportedly denies the Holocaust and their home is decorated with swastikas.
Real smooth there, Heath, real smooth. Now if you'll excuse me, I've just been informed your nuts won a date with my tire iron. And guess what -- you're paying.
Report: Child named Adolf Hitler removed from home in New Jersey [nydailynews]
Thanks to Shaggy, who, despite my convincing, wouldn't name his son Thundercats.
Nov 12 2008 Mayor of Turkish City 'Batman' Is Suing Christopher Nolan And Warner Brothers
Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp.
"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."Kalkan claims he has evidence, which will show the city of Batman was founded before the 1939 debut of Bob Kane's DC Comics superhero by the same name.
Wow. Just wow. It all makes sense now. I mean, Batman, Turkey is like the crime-fighting capital I've never heard of. Why has this been a non-issue for the past 70 years? Simple -- stupid mayors. Somebody send that city a big bag full of cash, pronto.
Christopher Nolan being sued by Batman [msnbc]
Thanks to Morrocco Mole, Marc, and Adam, governors of The Riddler, Penguin, and Mr. Freeze, respectively.
Sep 22 2008 I Just Pray To God She's Joking
Mark my words: I'm never, ever, driving again.
The Dumbest Woman On The Highway [break]
Thanks to Calypso, who's seen a tow-truck before.
Aug 15 2008 Some Maroons Still Believe The Earth Is Flat
Idiots in the Flat Earth Society are still convinced the world is flat and lead-based paint is part of a well-balanced diet.
People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."
Don't breed!
"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter.""The North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth," explains McIntyre. "Circumnavigation is a case of traveling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth."
Flat Earthers also believe the moon landing and photos of earth from space were faked, which is only true in the case of the moon landing. But what I don't get is: if Antarctica surrounds the entire circumference of the earth, what's on the other side of that? Is it all ice? Is it candy land? Is it the dark side of the earth? Does my doppelgänger live there? Do you think he blogs too? If I meet him will I really die? Can I dig a hole to the other side and find out? Will you help? Come on, I'll show you my tits.
Believers In Flat Earth Not About to Change Minds [foxnews]
Thanks to Sam, who's smart enough to know the world is a cone.
Aug 5 2008 Eh: Multi-Touch 3D Hologram Display Is Here
This is a video of Obscura Digital demonstrating their multi-touch software with Musion's Eyeliner 3D holographic projector. It's pretty neat. But you know what? I'm getting sick and tired of all these multi-touch demos where it seems the extent of what you can so is shuffle through photos and resize them. BORING. Show me somebody building a LEGO castle or something. Anything -- anything besides "look, you can toss Polaroids around in space!" I mean I can do that in real life, and it would still suck. I want to see some VR applications. I need an escape damnit, and the drugs aren't working.
Obscura Digital projects multi-touch "hologram", blows all sorts of minds [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who's anxiously awaiting holographic skin flicks.
Jul 21 2008 Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department
HP just flipped Mother Nature the bird and shipped sixteen 2-page software licenses inside a huge freaking box. Inside the box were another 16 smaller boxes, each containing a single two-page license (picture of the big box after the jump). Now I'm not saying this infraction warrants a bag of packing peanuts be crammed up the shipping department's collective ass, but I am strongly hinting at it. And, I dunno, maybe sealing the hole with some packing tape. Can't have those peanuts getting loose, bad for the environment.
Hit the jump for the big box.
Continue Reading " Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department "
Jul 8 2008 Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche
From our "Money Can't Buy Classiness" department here at Geekologie comes this gold covered Porsche. Some moron with more money than taste has added almost 40 lbs of gold to his 911 convertible. So now it's 40 pounds heavier, and 50% less cool. I swear, what is it with rich people's fascination with shiny things? It's ridiculous. You know what other demographic loves shiny objects? Babies. Coincidence? I think not.
Hit the jump for several close-ups of the gaudiness.
Continue Reading " Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche "
Jun 2 2008 Man Nearly Arrested For Transformers Shirt
Brad Jayakody, 30 (that's him in the picture), was almost arrested for attempting to board a flight from London to Dusseldorf, Germany while wearing that Transformers t-shirt.
Mr Jayakody said the first guard started joking with him about the Transformers character depicted on his French Connection T-shirt. "Then he explains that since Megatron is holding a gun, I'm not allowed to fly,' he said. A spokesman for Heathrow operator BAA said: 'If a T-shirt had a rude word or a bomb on it, for example, a passenger may be asked to remove it.'We are investigating what happened to see if it came under this category.
'If it's offensive, we don't want other passengers upset.'
Freaking wow. Now I hate flying as much as the next kid whose father pushed them off the roof with a bedsheet hang glider, but seriously, you know? Seriously. Wow. In all honesty though, companies shouldn't even be allowed to sell Transformer t-shirts. It's a freaking terrorist act and breeds robot sympathizers.
Man threatened with arrest at Heathrow for wearing Transformers T-shirt [dailymail]
Thanks to Neko, who finds robot sympathizers as despicable as I do
Jan 23 2008 Oakley Medusa Hat & Goggles Are Painful
There are people out there that want to look as stupid as possible. Thankfully for these freaks there is the Medusa hat and goggles from Oakley. The ridiculous hat goes for a paltry $500 and the bug-eyed goggles for $250 -- a steal. I can't imagine who in their right (or wrong) mind would ever, ever, ever buy these monstrosities, but I'm sure they're out there. I'm also sure they're idiots and should be sterilized. That being said, I think they'd be great for a little mythical role-playing in the bedroom. I could get my wife to put these on, then I'd pretend to cut her head off with my man-sword. You know, just like Perseus did.
Thanks to Melissa, goddess of beauty, and Sebastian, god of sexual prowess, for the tips
