Apr 21 2009 I Want To Eat You: Cupcake Hamburgers

Somebody went and made a batch of cupcakes that look like hamburgers. I think their maker did a great job, don't you? Because you'll be meeting yours if you disagree. Yeah, that was a threat. No, not a treat, a threat. I'll kill you, yo. I mean it.

These are vanilla cupcakes with a chocolate cuppie in between, green coconut for the lettuce and frosting for the mustard and ketchup. Yum!

Mmmm, cupcake sliders. Everyone here does know what a slider is right? It's a mini-burger. Yeah, they're called sliders because they're small enough to slide down your gullet without much chewing. Not unlike myself. Which....did you just hear that? It sounded like ten thousand women and a handful of gay men fainting simultaneously.

Hamburger Cupcakes [plime]

Thanks to Juste, who once ate 37 White Castle sliders and then projectile vomited for four minutes straight. Gross.

Mar 24 2009 Cool, I Want Some: Darth Vader Money

This is the way money looked a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Or, I dunno, as imagined by DeviantArt user Diablo2003. As you can see, Vader opted for a helmet-on shot, which I think we can all agree, was the smart decision. Nobody wants to see your crusty-ass rutabaga head on their space bucks!

Star Bucks: Darth Vader Money [uberreview]

Mar 2 2009 Paypal Makes Mistake, Accuses Man Of Pumping $81,400,836,908 Worth Of Gas

Juan Zamora is a man. A man with a '94 Camaro which undoubtedly has some Rad to the power of Sick flames painted on the sides. Anyway, he bought $26 worth of petrol at the station and paid with his Paypal debit card. Only problem was, Paypal reported he pumped $81,400,836,908 worth of petrol! Now that's a lot of hot air gas!

He only learned of the astounding figure when he received an email later that afternoon informing him that his debit card, which started out with $90 on it, was maxed out.

"Somebody from a foreign country who spoke in broken English argued with me for 10 to 15 minutes," Zamora said. " 'Did you get the gas?' he asked. Like I had to prove that I didn't pump $81,400,836,908 in gas!"

He would have needed more than 3 billion fill-ups of the amount he actually pumped into his tank in order to reach that outrageous sum. When Zamora returned to the Conoco gas station, he said, the attendant would not believe him until he showed her the printout of the PayPal receipt.

Finally Juan was able to set the record straight. And if you even think about trying to pull any of that nonsense on me, Paypal, and you are going to get it. And by 'it' I mean some provocative photos of yours truly and a firebomb. ZOMG, look at the hair on -- *HORF* uh-oh.... *WHOOOSH!* Justice: a dish best served flaming.

PayPal Charges $81,400,836,908 For $26 Tank Of Gas [consumerist]

Thanks to twellve, who once saw a guy drive off with the gas pump still in his car's filler hole. She tried notifying him while he was leaving, but he just thought she was waving at him. His car exploded moments later.

Nov 21 2008 Wrong, Just Wrong: World's Worst Cookbook

This is the world's worst cookbook. It's called Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes. I just puked in my mouth a little.

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

The 61-page cookbook costs $25 and looks like a joke. So I put one in my shopping cart and proceeded to the checkout waiting for some sort of April Fool's notification. Nope, I just ordered a jizz cookbook.

Product Page (which, if you go to you can actually use the little picture on the left to look through some of the book. Which I totally didn't do.

Thanks to Julian, who invited me over for dinner. NOM NOM NOM!

Feb 14 2008 Marooned On A Desert Island And Need To Ramp Up Your Tunes? Build A Coconut Amp

This coconut amp was built by Steve Lodefink. Not much else to say except it's awesome and will certainly add a tropical island vibe to your next jam session. I was once trapped on Monkey Island (best game ever) for months and was forced to exist almost entirely on coconuts. They were my life blood. I ate them, I drank them, I talked to them. I threw them at things, I played games with them, hell, I even made love to the damn things a big SOS sign with them.

nutty as a coconut (amp) [technabob]

Aug 29 2007 Complaint Coconuts Not Edible

MIT Media Lab researcher Tad Hirsh has developed, um, these things. Coconuts with cell phones inside that call the San Jose Airport complaint line when they detect low flying aircraft noise. The following is a real message one of them leaves, believe it or not.

Uh… Hey. Um, yeah. So… Um, this is…. Yeah, no, like, I’m… Shut up, no, I’m talking. Okay, so, yeah. So, all these planes, man… It’s crazy. It’s like a roooaarrrrr. Dude, I need a pizza… Could you send me a pepperoni pizza? Dude, that would be great. Wait wait wait wait wait, put some mushrooms on that. Yeah, mushrooms. Sweet.

Now with messages like that, this project is going to accomplish nothing. Better to call it off and tell bums in the area there are trees that grow cell phones, then film the hilarity that ensues. Then pay two of them a dollar each to punch the hell out of each other.

Check out the official site to listen to the other painful messages.

Official Site [via ohgizmo]