Oct 27 2009 Clever, Very Clever: Three Worf Moon T-Shirt

Well there's the original three wolf moon t-shirt, a three keyboard cat moon t-shirt, and a three Teen Wolf moon t-shirt, so why not a three Worf moon t-shirt? I have no idea if these are actually for sale, but send me $25 and a blank t-shirt and I'll see if I can't iron one on for you. Sadly, I won't be able to.

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Thanks to Blastphemer and Riker, who don't have to wear shirts because they're so hairy. Gross.

Sep 24 2009 I'd Rock That, INTO BATTLE: Ecko Unlimited Master Chief Hoodies

Looking to expand their line of geek-wear, Ecko Unlimited is releasing this $88 Master Chief hoodie just in time for cooler weather. Good thing too, I'm tired of setting myself on fire!

Brand new, limited edition Halo 3 hoodie from Ecko makes a great gift for your favorite gamer. Color-blocked hoodie is zip-front with nylon welt pockets and nylon overlay over fleece. Velcro(R) close hood with self-welt pockets, rib knit sleeve cuffs and hem.

I, for one, would wear the hell outta that thing. And I'm not just saying that cause it'll compliment my cardboard Halo arsenal so nicely, but that's part of it. *pew pew* *bang bang* *rat-a-tat-tat!* What do you mean I can't get on the bus like this?! Mr. Driver -- PREPARE TO BE BAGGED!

Product Site
via
halo odst hoodie protects against cold, not orbital drops [technabob]

Sep 22 2009 Conceptual Oldschool Video Game Shirts

This is a picture of two conceptual video game shirts that Geekologie tipster Jessica sent me. Aaaaand that's all the information we have. Anybody seen these before? Are they being manufactured? Do YOU want to manufacture them? Because if you do I swear I won't tell the original designer or the Pac-Man and Tetris copyright owners. I just want that Pac-Man polo. You know, so I can rock it open all the way down to my belly button. Cause chicks dig outties, am I right? No? How about scars? Okay, what if I had a hairlip? Because I know people. With scissors.

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Thanks to Jessica, who has taken a vow of toplessness until she procures these garments. THEY WILL NEVER EXIST!

May 26 2009 Highly Questionable: Retro Star Trek Drawls

It's not dreaming about Spock staring at you in your skivvies with a quizzical smirk that bothers me, it's the fact that somebody might actually pay $75 for 34-year old USED underwear. What is this, Japan? Kidding -- you know I love you Japan!

Product Page

Thanks darkfall13, and to answer your question: frightening.

Apr 29 2009 Spellbound Apprentice Casts Off Wizard Hat And Robe, Gets Tazed By The Po-diddly

NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PENIS.

This is a video from Coachella of a wizard who refuses to put his hat and robe back on (you're doing it wrong!) and instead waves his minuscule penis around like Harry Potter trying to cast a spell of sadness on anyone foolish enough to look.

"It doesn't have to stop," the Naked Wizard says.

"I'll tell you what," the cop says. "You can have a great time -- but you can have an even better time if you put your clothes on...Can I get them for you?"

The officer grabs the gown and tosses to the Naked Wizard, but he casts it away again. Then the cops put on their rubber gloves, and things get ugly.

You really can't help but feel sorry for the guy. But, on the upside, this video should make you feel good about your own magic stick. So make sure to watch the video with your significant other while pointing at the dude's nubbin and telling them to be thankful. I swear, a naked wizard on drugs with the world's smallest penis getting tasered by the diddly -- is today my birthday or what?

Naked Wizard Taser Brawl At Coachella [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to A-lice in Wonderland and chainsawarms, who both noted the magician's wand was probably too small to cast any real dangerous spells.

Apr 7 2009 But He Was Just Here: More Urban Camo

Urban camouflage is an ever growing fashion trend as more and more crazy people seem to be out to get you for no particular reason besides being batshit insane. Also, stalking. That's a problem too. Quick, look outside -- I am in your bushes! Can you see me? Sucker -- stalkers can use camo too! Now, look at the second bush to the right. Other way -- your right. You see me waving a stick? Made you look -- that's my penis! Honestly, what do you think?

Hit the jump for five more worthwhile ways to hide in plain sight.

Continue Reading " But He Was Just Here: More Urban Camo "

Apr 6 2009 Cool: PEW PEW Laser Fashion PEW PEW

Hussein Chalayan is a fashion *PEW PEW!* designer I've never heard of, but that's *PEW PEW!* okay because there are probably only a handful of names I would *PEW PEW!* recognize anyway. Unlike The Superficial Writer who, *PEW PEW!*, can rattle off their names and collections faster than you a normal man can *PEW PEW!* fire up a chainsaw. In this particular showcase, now to be known as The PEW PEW! Collection, Husssein had engineer Moritz Waldemeyer add servo-driven *PEW PEW!* lasers to the dresses. Nice, guys. As you can see, the *PEW PEW!* dresses are sure to be a big *PEW PEW!* hit at raves. Unfortunately, you may never *PEW PEW!* see one because I'm suing the pants (!) off Chalayan. You see, I burnt my *PEW PEW!* retinas out trying to score an upskirt shot.

Hit the *PEW PEW!* jump for a bunch *PEW PEW!* more.

Continue Reading " Cool: PEW PEW Laser Fashion PEW PEW "

Apr 3 2009 I Want: Jackets Made From Blow-Up Dolls

You heard right, 31-year old Utrecht-based designer Sander Reijgers modifies track jackets with parts from blow-up dolls to make them mad sexy. It's about time!

I customize existing tracksuit tops with parts of the blow-up dolls: the head, the breasts, the vagina, the anus. These dolls are so ugly and vulgar that turning them into something beautiful has become a challenge for me. The doll is a means to convey something else.

ZOMG, I want one! Except I want mine to have like a hundred vaginas and two nipples on the head like little antennae. Wait till the people on the bus seem me! "ZIP ZAP, I AM FROM MARS."

Hit the jump to see several better ones, I only chose this picture for the front page because of that junkie's ass.

Continue Reading " I Want: Jackets Made From Blow-Up Dolls "

Jan 17 2009 You're So Oldschool!: A NES Controller Jacket

This NES Controller Varsity Jacket is available for $200* from 80'sTees and has a giant freaking NES controller on the back, hence the name. It's only being made in a limited edition of 1,000 and allegedly they're already running out of several sizes, so if you want one, you better act quickly. Same goes for if you want some of this. No, I'm serious -- my girlfriend should be back any minute.

*Tough guy not included.

Hit the jump for a closeup of the embroidered controller above the breast.

Continue Reading " You're So Oldschool!: A NES Controller Jacket "

Dec 26 2008 He's Going All The Way!: Star Wars Jerseys

I'm not saying wearing a $110 Star Wars themed sports jersey is going to hinder my chances of rounding third base and heading home with a female, but it might. And let's face it, I need all the help I can get. But just in case -- ladies? Who wants to do it while I wear a Jedi jersey? Any takers? No? Okay, fine, any givers? Hey, I'm down to experiment -- after all, I am *lighting Bunsen burner for mood lighting* a sexual scientist.

Aaaaand there went my eyebrows.

Hit the jump to see basketball, football and hockey jerseys.

Continue Reading " He's Going All The Way!: Star Wars Jerseys "

Dec 12 2008 No More Going Bare Chest: Geeky T-Shirts

This is a gallery of geeky t-shirt designs from some guy named Glenn Jones. Hit the jump for a bunch more of my favorites and a link to his store which has even more. They're all $20 a pop and the perfect thing to keep you from showing your tits this holiday season. Unless you're a chick and into that. In which case I call a motorboat.

Hit it for the rest.

Continue Reading " No More Going Bare Chest: Geeky T-Shirts "

Nov 28 2008 Fool Me Once, Shame On You, Fool Me Twice, Damnit, You Got Me Again: Real X-Ray Specs Here? Geekologie Writer Hopeful

Allegedly David Steele, a pervert, is selling 30 and 58mm lens filters capable of seeing through many kinds of fabric. I've got the feeling they only work with sheer wet t-shirts and fishnets, but whatever: boobs yo, boobs. Each lens costs $200 and purchase includes a free trial subscription to Perv Quarterly, a beard, and a pair of those glasses that tint in sunlight.

40 years later, real X-Ray specs finally hit the market [dvice]

Nov 24 2008 Now That's What I Call Hot: LEGO Fashion

Designer Jean Charles de Castelbajac, now to be known as Jean Charles Van Damme Dem Legos Are Hot, displayed some LEGO inspired outfits at a recent fashion show. If you can't tell, they're making me amorous. Gimme kissey! Haha, now that'll be a nickel. And also, why the hell am I not a fashion designer? I've got some killer ideas. Namely, a LEGO castle on some waif's head. ZOMG, I'm gonna take the fashion industry by storm! AND the lapels. See what I did there? No? Hey, I'm just flying by the seat of my LEGO pants. Jesus, I could do this all day.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of what the show had looked like if they had used actual minifigs.

Continue Reading " Now That's What I Call Hot: LEGO Fashion "

Nov 4 2008 Own Your Own Apollo Spacesuit (Replica)

You remember when you were a kid and wanted to be an astronaut? Well I still do. And I'm building my own rocketship (screw you NASA -- rules and regulate this!). Originally I was gonna blast the eff off in a pair of gym shorts and novelty t-shirt, but now I'm thinking I might need something a little more....official looking. Enter the replica Apollo 11 spacesuit. Made based on a real Apollo A7L suit, it looks and feels like the real deal -- and all for only $9,500! Which, incidentally, is more than my entire rocketship cost to build. Speaking of which, I'm now accepting applications for one lucky lady (or dude that's really convincing) to join me on my groundbreaking journey to blowing up on the launch pad and dying. Pre-liftoff lunch will be included, no purchase necessary, just send a picture and five bucks to help cover the cold-cuts.

Buy a real Apollo spacesuit and finally live out those childhood dreams [dvice]

e. -- I'll blast off with you any day. And, God willing, we won't explode.

Oct 31 2008 Track That Ass With Some GPS Lingerie

The "Find Me If You Can" lingerie line from Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio comes with a GPS-uplink unit inside so you can catch your woman jumping some other guy's bones if she's really stupid and don't know there's a brick-sized piece of electronic equipment conspicuously sewn into her undergarment. The different styles sell between $800 and $1,100 and definitely aren't worth it. If you really want to keep track of your woman, and on the cheap, I've got three words for you: rope, and tree. Kidding! She's gonna need a water bowl too.

Designer Lingerie Has Embedded GPS-Uplink For Lady Location [gizmodo]

Thanks to Mpoo Zea, who once went geocaching and found a leprechaun's gold. Gimme the gold. I want the gold.

Oct 21 2008 Sweet!: Custom Intramural Zombie Hunter T's

Hunt zombies? Want to get started? Well what better way than with a custom Intramural Zombie Hunter t-shirt from Seibei. Each $24 shirt comes with a custom (your choice) name and number on the back and option of none, some, more, or lots of hand-applied gore. The shirt makes a perfect Halloween costume, but is definitely acceptable for everyday wear. Then, when you're caught braining some poor bastard in the road for jaywalking, you can just play it off to the woman that saw you. "Read the freaking shirt, it says right here Intramural Zombie Hunter, I think I know a zombie when I see one. Ha, so it is a vintage Led Zeppelin concert tee. Zombie shirt must be in the wa....HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT?! *THWACK* *THWACK TWACK* *poke*

NOTE: Oh, almost forgot: still in New Orleans, having trouble leaving (read: don't want to). Going to see the Rebirth Brass Band tonight at the Maple Leaf. Come down if you're in the area.

Product Site

Oct 8 2008 Star Wars Hoodies Are Out Of This Universe!

Ecko has a new line of hoodies out with a Star Wars theme. As you can see, the Stormtrooper and Boba Fett models are the awesome. Minus the $100 price tag. But still, I'll take one if it, you know, fell of the back of a truck. I'm winking at you right now. Make that happen. Fine, I'll actually pay. I'm gonna get the Stormtrooper one, and I'm gonna rock that shit all zipped down with the mask and all. I'll let you know how laid I get.

UPDATE: I got hit by a taxi. My Force was malfunctioning, and also, I think he ran a red.

Thanks to Britany, Vince, and P05TMAN, who all look just as good naked as in wicked Star Wars hoodies. Trust me, I've seen pictures.

Oct 3 2008 Ironing Man T-Shirt Turns Hero Into Mr. Mom

This Ironing Man t-shirt ($19) turns a beloved superhero into a beloved, well, ironer, ironing his own pants. Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter how super you may be, wrinkled pants are still totally unacceptable.

Ironing Man T-Shirt, Even Superheroes Love the Feel of Freshly Pressed Pants [uberreview]

Sep 15 2008 Tina Fey Makes Princess Leia Endorsement

Tina Fey, who appeared on Saturday Night Live this weekend to play Sarah Palin, also made a political endorsement at the end of the show. Who did she choose? Princess 'I'd hit that shit like a ton of Death Star' Leia. The shirt is actually one from this collection that we posted last month, and will set you back around $18. Okay, now that's two times I've promoted these damn shirts -- I think it's about time I get a piece of that sandwich, if you know what I mean. No seriously, give me a bite -- I'm starving and my mom didn't pack me anything. :(

Hit the jump for a closeup.

Thanks to Kristen, who, like yours truly, is still voting for this guy.

Continue Reading " Tina Fey Makes Princess Leia Endorsement "

Sep 15 2008 The Snuggie: ZOMG, A Blanket With Sleeves!

The Snuggie (as seen on TV) is a $15 blanket with sleeves that requires an $8 shipping and handling charge. Per the ditty at the beginning of the commercial:

You want to keep warm when you're feeling chilled
But you don't want to raise your heating bill
Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide
and when you need to reach for something -- your hands are trapped inside
Now -- there's the Snuggie!

As catchy as that was, I've got some bad news for you, Snuggie -- you're a freaking robe. And speaking of which --- I put my Snuggie and wizard hat....

Hit the jump for a two minute commercial.

Continue Reading " The Snuggie: ZOMG, A Blanket With Sleeves! "