Oct 1 2009 Huge Cache Of Dinosaurs Eggs Found In India

In promising dinosaur-cloning news, hundreds of football-sized Sauropod eggs have been uncovered in India. Secretary, book me a flight! Oh, wait, they're all infertile. Secretary, cancel that flight and order me a pizza!

"The important finding is that these eggs have been found in different layers that means the dinosaurs came to the place over and over year after year," he said.

"The second important thing is that we have got volcanic ash deposits on the eggs which suggests that volcanic activity could have caused their extinction.

"The other thing we have found is that all these eggs are unhatched and infertile. So what made the eggs infertile? We need to carry out further studies to learn more from the findings."

Dr Ramkumar and his team have called on the central and state governments to protect what they are calling a "Jurassic treasure trove".

Hell yes, Jurassic treasure trove. That's better than pirate gold in my book. And my book is awesome and has COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS OF ME BONING DINOSAURS (tasteful ones). Just saying, go ahead and send the Caldecott to my parent's house.

Dinosaur eggs are found in India [bbcnews]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Awesome Saucer, who have a time machine and may or may not be responsible for some of those eggs (read: the eggs are infertile so I suspect they are).

May 3 2009 Dinosaur 'Blood' Extracted From Fossils

And I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna be Jurassic Parking it before you can say, "Geekologie Writer, are you sure you want to go into the raptor pen?" To which I will reply, "oh I'm sure. I'm sure".

A dinosaur bone buried for 80 million years has yielded a mix of proteins and microstructures resembling cells.

[Scientists] report recovering not just collagen - which conveys little evolutionary information because it is the same in almost all animals - but also haemoglobin, elastin and laminin, as well as cell-like structures resembling blood and bone cells. The proteins should reveal more about dinosaur evolution because they vary much more between species.

Haemoglobin baby! This particular fossil came from a hadrosaurid (duck-billed dinosaur), so I guess I'm boning them first. But hopefully they'll be able to score some blood from one of those flying bastards. 65 million years in the making, The Geekologie Writer joins the mile-high club.

First dino 'blood' extracted from ancient bone [newscientist]

Thanks to b00geyman, who better not be hiding under my bed tonight. And to Zmann966 and trishna87, who are celebrating an anniversary today. Happy anniversary guys!

Apr 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Doctor Claims He Can Clone Humans

Just look at all those cute little babies. Really makes you consider wearing a condom next time, doesn't it? Yeah it does. Anyway, Dr. Panayiotis Zavos, a controversial fertility doctor, claims he's gonna be cloning humans within two years.

[The] doctor has claimed he cloned 14 human embryos and transferred 11 of them into women's wombs. Dr Panayiotis Zavos carried out the work at a secret laboratory thought to be in the Middle East.

"Dr Zavos saw vigorous growth in 30 cell embryos before he transferred them into the womb and that is why he is optimistic that a human clone baby will be born within two years," he said.

"This has reached an advanced stage and is potentially a viable form of infertility treatment."

The article goes on to discuss the ethics of a woman who wants her 10-year old daughter, who died in a car crash, cloned. Which, wow, sounds like the worst idea I've heard all morning. Seriously -- and I had an offer to go play in traffic. No, when it comes to cloning, there's one very simple rule: dinosaurs only.

Could Cloning Bring Dead Girl Back To Life? [skynews]

Thanks to jigga, Thumperchica and Christina, who all want GW clones but I told them no. I've seen Multiplicity! Okay, I haven't -- but I did see the commercial where the dumb one tries to stick pizza in his wallet.

Mar 10 2009 Obama Reverses Stem Cell Research Policy

Obama, in a pow-pow-power move, signed an executive order (I need a pad of those) yesterday that has " cleared the way for a significant increase in federal dollars for embryonic stem cell research". Now I don't even know what that means, but I do want to clone my dog. And also, grow a tail.

"Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident," Obama declared.

Obama signed the executive order on the divisive stem cell issue and a memo addressing what he called scientific integrity before an East Room audience packed with scientists. He laced his remarks with several jabs at the way science was handled by former President George W. Bush.

"Promoting science isn't just about providing resources, it is also about protecting free and open inquiry," Obama said. "It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it's inconvenient especially when it's inconvenient. It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology."

Well rooty tooty, fresh and fruity! Maybe scientists will finally be able to unlock the secret of my seductive pheromones. Here -- lick my armpit. You taste that? It's called gin, and I sweat it. You ever made love to a man that smells like a pine tree? It's coniferous.

Obama reverses Bush-era stem cell policy [msnbc]

Thanks to Ryan, who is a huge proponent of both twig and branch cell research.

Jan 29 2009 Yay?: First Commercially Cloned Dog In US

Ed and Nina Otto are two rich crybabies that just couldn't deal with the cancer death of their dog Sir Lancelot Encore in January, 2008. So what did the couple do? Be happy with their eight other dogs? Adopt another one from the pound? Hell no, that would be too logical. Instead, the Otto's paid $155,000 to have Sir Crapalot cloned by South Korean company BioArts International.

"He's back with me," said Nina, "in terms of the essence of him, as much as you could probably expect to ever get back someone who died."

This is Sir Lancelot, as he was, when he was nice and healthy," said Nina Otto, "probably around the time that we actually took his DNA and froze it."

"I know that to a lot of people spending that much money is ridiculous. I've heard some of my friends say 'On a dog?', but it wasn't just a dog. It was Lancelot."

No, he was just a dog. And, despite his name, he probably couldn't even wield a sword. And who's to say this one isn't going to get cancer too? Smart thinking. And on a side note, I have news for you folks: your dog isn't special to anyone but you -- everybody else thinks your dog is plain. Some of your friends probably even think it's sub-plain despite what they tell you to your face. No, the only truly special dog in this world is mine. Ooh, and that one that can walk on its back legs.

Pair Pay £100k To Clone Dead Pet [sky]

Thanks to Clint, whose efforts to clone his favorite turtle have failed.

Dec 16 2008 Scientists Find World's Oldest Spider Web (Until Another, Much Older One Is Found)

Scientists have found what they believe to be the world's oldest and least circular spider web, encased in a piece of amber. It's allegedly 140 million years-old.

"It's not a striking, perfect web," Braddy said. "(But) this seems to confirm that spiders were building orb webs back in the early Cretaceous" -- the geological term for the period of time between 145.5 and 65.5 million years ago when dinosaurs and small mammals shared the earth.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If it's, "let's clone whatever that spider bit and have sex with it", then you are. High five for being on the same page.

Oldest Spider Web Found, Scientist Says [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who doesn't get bitten by spiders because he bites them. That's pretty freaking sick, Pat.

Nov 6 2008 Scientists Still Hope To Clone Extinct Species

Scientists, spurred on by the passing of Michael Crichton, have kicked their efforts of cloning extinct species into high gear. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say, sex with dinosaurs: it's about freaking time.

Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that have been dead and frozen for 16 years -- a feat that could lead researchers to one day resurrect long-extinct species, such as the mammoth.

Researchers had thought that frozen cells were unusable because ice crystals would have damaged the DNA. That belief would rule out the possibility of resurrecting extinct animals from their frozen remains. But the latest research -- published in the journal, Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences -- shows that scientists may have overcome the obstacle.

Yes please! Now tell me somebody's got some frozen dinosaur remains around here somewhere. If not, we're going to need to go back in time and get some. Damn, sometimes my profound logic amazes even me.

Scientists hope to clone extinct species [cnn]

Thanks to Jonathan, who fears for a dinosaur apocalypse. Which, incidentally, is my dreamworld.

Dec 17 2007 It's About Freaking Time: Glowing Cats

For years now I've been asking myself "When the hell is someone going to get on the ball and clone some damn cats that glow when exposed to UV light?" Well some South Korean scientists at Gyeongsang National University must have read my mind, because they have! The cats are the result of a manipulated fluorescent protein gene that was implanted into the mother cat. Yep, glowing f'ing cats. You know I'm thinking they could use this to get a certain other cat to glow. *wink, wink* You catch my drift? You picking up what I'm putting out? Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you? I'm talking vaginas, people -- glowing vaginas. I know, I know, I'm a genius. Now is there a number I call to collect my Nobel Prize or do I have to buy specially marked boxes of cereal?

UPDATE: Video added after the jump.

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