Nov 20 2009 Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.
Oct 30 2009 $899 For The World's Cleanest Keyboard
Germaphobe? Worried about the bovine flu (it's coming, you watch)? Tired of operating a keyboard when you're 99.98% sure The Superficial Writer was touching with himself while using it? Enter the $899 Vioguard self-sanitizing keyboard.
The Vioguard keyboard is aimed at medical market uses and consumers in Canada. It uses two 25-watt UV lights to kill 99.99% of viruses and bacteria in about 90 seconds. Ultraviolet light is known to be affective against harmful microorganisms such as H1N1 flu, MRSA and molds.
Alternatively, only operate the keyboard while wearing surgical gloves, which is what I do. You should see everybody in the office tense up when I'm slapping them on! I think it's the winking that really gets to them.
The Cleanest Keyboard From Vioguard [techfresh]
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need a keyboard because he rocks dual mice.
Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain
Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!
Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.
Aug 14 2009 Solar Shower Provides Hot Water In 2 Hours
The $200 Solar Power Shower can heat up to 8 liters of water to 140° Fahrenheit in as little as two hours, provided it's outside in the sun and not in your basement.
It's a lot more sophisticated than a simple camping solar shower, because this one mixes that 140° water with cool water from the garden hose, giving you plenty of toasty warm water at just the right temperature.
Impressive, but I don't really have a need for a solar powered shower. I do, however, have a need for that chick in the picture. Seriously, I'm getting hungry. HIYO!
Jun 1 2009 Prison: Don't Drop The Soap Knuckles
This is soap shaped like brass knuckles. It's equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear.
Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo]
Thanks to pstone, who made me his bitch.
May 21 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap
Tetris soap is tetrad shaped soap pieces that make a perfect addition to the seashell soaps in your guest bathroom that I'm never sure if I'm supposed to use but do anyway. They're made by Digital Soaps, the same folks that brought us the video game controller soaps. 8 ounces of tetrads will set you back $10, but they also have little Space Invader bars that will run you $10.50 for 24 pieces. Hit the jump to see more of both. Then, go with the tetrads. Trust me: L pieces were practically made for the gooch.
Hit it for a bunch more cleanliness.
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