Oct 26 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Razor Blade Soap
Razor blade soap is exactly what it sounds like, unless you thought it was razor blade shaped soap, in which case it's not. No, razor blade soap has an actual razor blade inside. A nice rusty one. But don't worry -- you'll bleed out well before the lockjaw sets in. Available for $7/bar, it makes the perfect gift for that special someone in the slammer. Alternatively, Polish roulette!
Razor Blade Soap Puts Your Nipples At Risk [nerdapproved]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who once made soap with a revolver inside and shot himself in the butt. Use a wash cloth, bro.
Oct 25 2009 I'd Wash My Mouth Out With It: Bacon Soap
This bacon soap isn't just bacon shaped, it's made with bacon fat. But how do you keep yourself from eating it in the shower? I don't think you can!
Soap can be made from just about any kind of fat. Even though fat from bacon, called lard, isn't the finest of fats to use for making soap, it somehow seemed to be the most exciting. Why? Because bacon is amazing. It has an almost mystical power to it and is a food that can be craved to almost no end. I figured what better way use the extra grease I had from cooking bacon then to turn it into soap!
If you want make some, there's an Instructable posted with all the details you need to Tyler Durden it up yourself. Unfortunately, I could never do it -- I like to drink all the fat out of pan after cooking. It scalds so good!
How to Make Bacon Soap [instructables]
Thanks to naas, who once made fried chicken soap and ate a thigh and two drumsticks sitting on the can one morning.
Jun 29 2009 Billy Mays Has Left The Infomercial Set
Billy Mays, a man best known for kicking Vince "Shamwow" Shlomi's ass in a no-holds-barred cagefighting match, died over the weekend following a freak head injury heart blockage. He was 50.
Police said Mays told his wife he didn't feel well when he went to bed Saturday night. Earlier in the day, he said he was hit on the head when his airliner had a rough landing at Tampa Bay's airport.
But the airline said no passengers reported any serious injuries, and Mays himself cheerfully recounted the landing for a local TV station.
Wow, that's pretty scary. Life is short folks, fight stains while you still can.
R.I.P. Billy.
Autopsy planned for TV pitchman Billy Mays [yahoo]
Thanks to everyone who sent this in. Stay clean guys, stay OxiClean.
May 22 2009 Paper Towels: ShamWow's Latest Competitor
This is a short infomercial for Paper Towels. I only watched like five seconds of it before I started daydreaming about who would win in a fight, this guy or Vince 'ShamWow' Shalomi. Then I realized I would kill them both because I ride into battle on a dinosaur holding a smaller dinosaur! Then I went out for a gelati and rubbed sunblock on some hot chicks' chests because I'm at the beach and I DON'T ROLL WITH LIZARD TITS, SON!
Paper Towels [collegehumor]
Thanks to Harry, who once beat a man with his own roll of paper towels for cutting in line at the grocery checkout.
Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!
Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.
Hit the jump for the NES controller.
Continue Reading " Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail! "
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Oct 31 2008 You Have Got To Be Freaking Kidding Me: Luxury Screen Cleaning Fluid For TVs
The end is nigh: luxury screen cleaning fluids -- for the flatscreen television owner who has everything, except a freaking brain. They come in two varieties, EazyCare and OneClean, and cost $32 and $24, respectively. WTF!
AM's specially developed water-based screen cleaner formula contains no IPA or other alcohol. Our formula is effective, but also gentle. AM's screen cleaner fluid can be used on all types of screens or surfaces.
Really? Really? I know that shit's just water. Nice try guys, but I didn't just fall off the back of a truck. I did get hit by a chick on a moped though. Watch where you're going!
Luxury screen cleaning fluid - for the geek who has everything [techdigest]
Thanks to Sugar Honey, who is allegedly made of sugar and spice and everything nice. And honey. Definitely some honey.
Sep 30 2008 Watermill Provides Drinkable Water From Air!
The Watermill is a glorified dehumidifier that pulls water from the air and purifies it to drinking quality.
Inside air is up to 70 times more polluted than outside air. The WaterMill is installed unobtrusively on the outside of your home, using outside air, so it won't dry out the air you breathe in your home. And don't worry if your outdoor air is less than pristine - even if you live in a crowded city, the Watermill's filtration system ensures your drinking water will be clean and free of toxins and bacteria - more pure than tap water or even spring water.
The WaterMill provides you with:
* clean, fresh water for drinking and cooking
* up to 12 liters of water per day
* a sustainable, elegant appliance for your home
Sound too good to be true? No, not really. Like I said before, it's just a dehumidifier with an ultraviolet sterilizer attached. Fun fact: ultraviolet sterilization isn't an effective form of long-term birth control. Hello child support!
Thanks to Dan, who's holding out for a BeerMill.
Aug 29 2008 Cyber Clean Cleans Electronics, Tastes Great
Cyber Clean looks like, wait, is a slimeball and cleans your electronics. You just take the $8 Play-Doh, mash it into your keyboard, digital camera, phone, taint, etc. and then remove. Presto, clean and germ free! I just got a sample, I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: j 09ctju j0954iy[ 0]kt [p9i34poi 34po]i0-] ln p;7816e6 erw761ew 786er w34[io pjkofp[i[12r c x213t43v2gv45 n67un,87m.8 0/-[=]/9+281708+ oi;jmio;im,,m
Keyboard's clean!
Cyber Clean cleansing goop: 'I press it on, and the mess is gone!' [dvice]
Apr 17 2008 Ultrasonic Dish Washer Looks Funny, Cleans
The SWV-08AM Megasonic Cleaning Device is a poorly named kitchen appliance that's supposed to blast your plates clean with the amazing power of sonic, that lovable blue hedgehog that can roll up in a ball and do loopty-loops and collect rings. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but the thing can allegedly "eliminate all the disgusting dirt and agrochemicals on the surface of everything from fruit to frying pans with little or no detergent." Plus it has a "P-Sediment" filter, so you don't have to worry about any urine stains on your dishes. No word on price, but I'm guessing expensive. And that's not even factoring in the cost of your grandmother's china that it breaks. You can't just go around sonic-booming fine porcelain, that shit's delicate.
Let sound waves do the dishes [crave]
Thanks to Huevo, an integral component of delicious Huevos Rancheros, for the tip
Mar 6 2008 Conceptual Parisian Building Is Super Green
The Anti-Smog Innovation Center is a conceptual building that was designed to reside on the Canal de L'Ourcq in Paris. It "would sport 2,700 solar panels as well as a titanium dioxide coating that would react with UV rays to break down smog." In addition, "a 148-foot-tall Wind Tower would convert the canal's breezes into energy." Well neato. How about you go ahead and build it Paris? The place could use a little cleaning up. Because my girlfriend and I visited once and our first impression of the city, after getting out of the airport, was of a mother letting her 4-year-old daughter shit on the sidewalk. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. It was so romantic.
A solar powered, wind using, smog killing fantasy building in Paris [dvice]
Feb 13 2008 The Gun Washer Keeps Your Pieces Clean
The F636HT Heavy Duty Long Gun & Handgun System looks like a deep fryer for weaponry, but is actually a gun washing machine. The $7,100 unit can clean 10 handguns or 4 long guns at once.
The system includes: one (1) lube pan 35.5"X6" v-bottom construction with anti-splash dampers & cover. Two (2) heavy duty weapon racks with 5 removable compartments, tank cover, drip proof flange with built in rack shelf and carry handles, H.D. adjustable heater for parkerizing, variable power generator 3/4" S.S. front drain valve and rear fill port. 2 gal. CC235 clean concentrate, 6 gal. CC400L lubricant.
The company estimates you can clean about 1,000 guns with the system's initial 8 gallons of included lube. And that, my friends, is a lot of guns. And lube. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Indeed, the world's first slip-and-slide shooting range. Whee!
F636HT Heavy Duty Long Gun & Handgun System Cleans your Weapons without the Elbow Grease [uberreview]
Jan 3 2008 Japanese Robot Turns Snow To Bricks Of Ice
Yuki-taro is a Japanese robot that runs down the street taking in snow and turning it into bricks of ice that he stacks on a shelf behind him. He's loaded with two video cameras and a GPS tracking system to help insure he doesn't make ice blocks out of any homeless that may be sleeping in the snowbank he's working on. No word on what the Japanese use the ice blocks for, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say for a sweet ice-domino knock-down. Because that's the only thing that makes sense. Oh, and this was on Foxnews with the title 'Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice'. I mean, wtf? Where the hell is Fox's journalistic integrity? Who uses 'poops out' in the title of a serious news story about a robot? Next on Foxnews: Man snarfs world's largest burger, totally blows chunks and still manages to take record-breaking crapola.
Japanese Robot Eats Snow, Poops Out Bricks of Ice [foxnews]
A big thanks to Brytne, who gets two thumbs up, for the tip
Dec 11 2007 Vacuum + Broom = Vacuum Broom, Wow!
The Vacuum Broom from designer Wilson Song is the lovechild of a vacuum and broom that were locked in the same closet overnight. I heard a mop insisted on a threesome but they wouldn't have it. Anyways, the hollow broom bristles have suction ducts inside that allow for the vacuuming of small particulate, while the unit also acts as a traditional broom, sweeping larger debris into the dustpan. Interesting concept, but I question how well it would work. Although I don't really care. I don't clean floors, that's the maid's (read: wife's) job. Ha, ha, just kidding honey. No but seriously make sure the house is clean and dinner is on the table when I get home.
Two more close-ups after the jump.
Dec 10 2007 eRazer Erases Your 'Naughty Files' For Good
The Drive eRazer is a stand alone device (so you don't need a functioning computer to use it) capable of erasing all the files on a drive by writing a data pattern over the entire disk. It costs $100 and can clean a 250GB drive in just short of two hours. For an extra $50 you can get one that makes multiple passes on the disk and writes random characters over the whole thing. You know, I'd consider one if I my current girlfriend was any smarter and I was worried about her discovering any of the "private pictures" I have on the computer. Fortunately for me she doesn't know what the hell a computer is. Just yesterday she mistook my laptop for a waffle maker. Luckily I caught her before she poured any batter.
WiebeTech Drive eRazer [ohgizmo]
Dec 3 2007 Air Purifier Cleans With The Power Of Plants
The Bel-Air indoor air filtration systems sucks in dirty air and runs it through a plant's leaves, roots, and a "humid bath" before releasing it back into your room, purified.
This patented principal has two advantages: Bel-Air is to the American and Asiatic common filter appliances what Dyson is to regular vacuum cleaners. Here, the noxious particles are captured, and transformed inside the system. No more filters to change, and no more clogs.
I really like the concept, but question how effective the device is. I mean those are pretty small plants, and the tenement I live in is pretty freaking disgusting. That plant would be a goner in a matter of hours. I mean I can actually see the air in here. It's brown.
Nov 7 2007 Dog Washing Machine Will Scare Your Pet
I know dog washing machines have existed for awhile, but this one is apparently the cream of the crop, costing over $30,000. Why does it cost so much? Hell if I know, maybe it's the color scheme. An operator oversees the machine closely to ensure your pet is comfortable during their bath. You can tell from those two pictures on the left that the dog is really loving the experience. No way is he thinking "get me out of this piece of shit this instant". No sir, this is like being pampered at a spa to him. Although -- notice how there are no "after" pictures of the clean dog out of the machine? Turns out when the wash was over he killed everyone in the room. Good boy.
UPDATE: Video added after the jump. Watch the last 1/2 for a cat going absolutely ape-shit in the machine.
Continue Reading " Dog Washing Machine Will Scare Your Pet "
Nov 5 2007 USB Retro Vacuum Has No Attachments
The USB Desk Vacuum Cleaner is a USB powered vacuum cleaner that can (allegedly) suck up dust and crumbs from your desk. They run $34 from bimbambanana and come in that awesome brown and tan color combo. According to the product page, "With classic retro style, you can suck your way to success!" Now I happen to know all about sucking your way to success, because that's why I'm the famous actress I am today, and never was there any "classic retro style" involved. You can totally do it without that.
Product Page [thanks to Chloe, a woman who takes cleaning seriously, for the tip]
Nov 2 2007 Charcoal Toothpaste Looks Like Sludge
Charcle is a Korean charcoal based toothpaste. It is black, looks like sludge, and probably doesn't taste like licorice. A DesignNotes tester had the following to say about the product:
This morning I tried it for the first time, the experience ended up being less pleasant then I first thought it would be. I was fine seeing the black stuff on my brush, it wasn’t until it went into my mouth when my stomach started to turn. Near the end I barely could brush my tongue and when I spit it out to rinse I felt a bit queazy. In the end though my mouth did feel clean, but I’m not sure if the weirdness that I felt would be something I’d want to do again.
So there, it's surprisingly unpleasant. Never would have guessed that. Now from what I remember (which is very little) I think charcoal is what they use to pump my stomach when I've "had too much to drink". Whatever that means. Just because you're caught humping a parking meter doesn't mean you've "had too much to drink". No sir. It just means you have fine taste in quarter receptacles. And trust me, parking meters are some of the best -- right up there with arcade games and old cigarette vending machines.
Charcoal Toothpaste - Just About The Worst Thing I've Seen All Week [ohgizmo]
Oct 22 2007 Silver Peripherals For Germophobes
The Silver Seal Keyboard and Mouse are antibacterial peripherals. They're also dishwasher safe. They both have silver ions embedded into the plastic, to prevent the buildup of germs and viruses. When the keyboard gets too many Cheeto/Dorito crumbs in it, you just throw that bitch in the dishwasher. Simple as that. They ship next month, but no word on price yet. As an added bonus, if you're ever attacked by a werewolf while at your computer, you can grab one of these suckers and drive that mother through the bastard's heart. Antibacterial and antiwerewolfial. I can't believe they don't mention that in the sales pitch.
SILVER SEAL Antibacterial Dishwasher Safe Mouse & Keyboard [ohgizmo]
