Aug 12 2009 "We Don't Date N00bs, We PWN Them!"
This is a video about the problems associated with dating a World of Warcraft n00b when you come from a L337 family. Namely, that your parents won't approve of the relationship. Sadly, watching this video reminded me of the time when I started dating one of those RealDolls a supermodel. I miss you, Silicon Sally hot supermodel with a real name, we just came from two different worlds.
Thanks to jessica, Robert and jack, who PWN both n00bs and non00bs with equal dexterity.
Aug 7 2009 WTF Was That?!?: A Highly Questionable Piece Of Exercise Equipment For Women
I've gotten this tip like a thousand times and have been trying to avoid posting it because, damnit, I'm just too classy for this kind of thing (yes, this is a monocle). I mean, it goes against all the theological and geometrical principles I hold dear. Then I realized I was lying to myself and this is the shit I live for. Enjoy!
Thanks to everyone who sent this in. I'd try to find all your emails but I'd hate to leave anybody out, so, yeah. Send more tips!
Jun 20 2009 Classiest Nintendo Mod Yet: The PIMPendo
The PIMPendo is a Nintendo on pimp juice. I suspect it guzzled an entire goblet full. Then puked. Then drank more. Out of a hooker's mouth. That's nasty.
This completely refurbished NES system has been pimpified, including added LEDs which make the innards of the system glow red when it's powered on, a new zebra skin finish, gems galore, Plexiglas, a peacock feather and the most important addition, purple frill.
Listen trick, you better have my cartridges! What the -- DON'T MAKE ME GET THE POWER GLOVE.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
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Jun 19 2009 Over The Line!: Road Sign Hacked In DC
Apparently somebody hacked a couple DC traffic signs to say dirty words. In case you were wondering, there's a UC missing in the first line and an ALL in the third. Some people, no class.
If you think your commute can be offensive, you should have been driving northbound on the Virginia side of the Key Bridge Thursday morning.
It appeared that someone hacked into an electronic sign near the Rosslyn exit for the Key Bridge and posted an inappropriate message.Another sign at Chain Bridge Road and the GW Parkway had a similar message but was turned off earlier.
Oh hell yeah GW Parkway. I OWN YOUR ROADZ! You hear that, George Washington -- it's mine now. Put that in your cherry pipe and smoke it!
Hackers steer commuters toward offensive sign [wtop]
Thanks to Zekcus, who hacked a Circus of Values vending machine in Bioshock to stop making that scary laugh.
Jun 14 2009 Golden: ZOMG, WTF Are Those Things?!
Impressive, but mine drag on the pavement.
Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz [wonkette]
Thanks to Spoonman, who may or may not want to give this vehicle a physical.
May 15 2009 What A Princess: Bride's LED Wedding Dress
Some bride, in a bid to be the classiest bride of all classy times, had a dress made with 300 LEDs sewn into the bottom poofy part. And let me tell you, the applause when she turns it on during her first dance is deafening. And how about that song from Armageddon? I'm not sure if you've seen the movie BUT THEY ALL DIE IN THE END. I'm just sayin', you can't put a price on looking like a Christmas tree at your own wedding.
May 6 2009 My God That's Classy: The Redneck Tanktop
This picture, taken at what I assume was a NASCAR race, shows a redneck flaunting the latest in must-have summerwear, a, um, pair of underwear cut out to wear as a tank top. Unfortunately, there's no shot of what it looks like from the front, so we'll just have to use our imaginations. I'm imagining stained.
Ladies And Gentlemen - The Red Neck Tank Top [themovieblog]
Thanks to Dimi, who once wore a tube sock as a headband.
Apr 20 2009 Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir
I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, that glass has a tumor!", and you're right, it kind of does. The Glass Tank is a conceptual wine receptacle that keeps your glass topped off at a constant level. That way you get drunk with while you're, you know, I've been drinking. Now I know -- 4.20's supposed to be about smoking, but, and it might just be the booze talking -- but I love booze. Also, this is a stupid idea. I already have a wine glass with built in receptacle -- it's called the box. Or, if I feel like being Mr. Fancy Pants, the bottle. Class: you can't spell Geekologie Writer without it.
Hit the jump for one more shot of how it works (air replaces wine in reservoir as you drink).
Continue Reading " Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir "
Feb 12 2009 Donkey Kong T-Shirt Turns Man Into Ape
Ever wanted to pretend you were an ape? Well you don't need a novelty t-shirt. You just crouch down real low and drag your knuckles on the ground and grunt a whole bunch. That's what I do, and I, my friends, was a gorilla for Halloween one year. The defense rests. Anyway, for a spine-tingling $28 you can get this (probably unlicensed) Donkey Kong t-shirt. And speaking of Donkey Kong, the snow levels in Donkey Kong Country -- ugh! I threw my controller at the TV not once, not twice, but twenty-thrice. SCREW YOU, STUPID SPINNING LAUNCH BARRELS! And, while I'm at it, suck it Zelda II! Wait, was that....blasphemous? Oh my God, what have I done?
Thanks to Russell, who needs no excuse to hurl barrels at unsuspecting plumbers.
Dec 17 2008 Just Plain Classy: Crown Royal Bag Quilts
My brother Frank knows classy shit when he sees it, and this is living proof. Personally, I can't remember the last time I had 100 Crown Royal bags, but that's because I drink too much. Did that make any sense? It shouldn't have, I've been drinking. For $350 ebay seller misteria0 will quilt you up some warmth in the form of stitched-together Crown Royal bags (for those of you that don't know, each bottle of Crown Royal comes its own little embroidered velvety bag). Quilts come in both 100+ bag and 150+ bag options, and are sure to keep you toasty on a cold winter's night. Alternatively, drink heavily and set yourself on fire. Ha, or turn the heat up you cheap f***er!
Hit the jump for a blurry closeup of the quality stitching.
Continue Reading " Just Plain Classy: Crown Royal Bag Quilts "
Dec 12 2008 NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall
NYU will be offering degrees in the design and development of video games starting fall 2009. Load up on Mountain Dew, kids, it's time to get your learn on.
The NYU Game Center, launching in fall 2009, will make NYU the first New York City college to offer such a degree, and one of the few in the country.
"It will do a lot to attract new students to New York and raise the city's profile as a center for gaming," said Center for an Urban Future deputy director Tara Colton, who recently called out New York City for lagging behind its competition in tapping into the videogame market.Drawing from a private $1 million contribution, and a $200,000 Rockefeller grant, the center will initially be modest in scale. NYU plans to offer ten to twelve students the chance to choose from 70 courses in game design and development next year, with a two-year masters program set to launch in 2010.
Cool. I mean, I'd probably still fail out, but at least the subject material would be cooler than the stuff I learned. Which was nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. I made bongs and shit. And also, radiator wine. You know, by setting bottles of apple juice on the radiator in front of the window for a semester. You ever done that before? My f***, it gets you some drunk.
NYU Launching Videogame Degree Next Fall [shacknews]
Thanks to Alexandria, The Reigning Queen of Nerdopia, who just earned herself an honorary doctorate in awesome from the University of Geekologie.
Oct 21 2008 Bacon Tuxedo Looks, Smells Just Like Bacon
I know what you're thinking, "What IS that dapper ass-sockpuppet wearing in the picture?" And that, dear reader, is Uncle Oinker's Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. The suits comes in four different sizes (from this little piggy to wild hog), cost $100, and have been chemically treated to smell like bacon sizzling in the pan. And give you cancer. Which, I think we all can agree, is a small price to smell delicious.
Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo [newsblaze]
Thanks to Julian, who once owned a chicken suit but couldn't keep the women away from his meat.
Sep 17 2008 Just Plain Wrong: A Ferrari Station Wagon
In this installment of money doesn't buy class comes a Ferrari station wagon. It was custom built by Ferrari for the Sultanate of Brunei and is making me sick to my stomach. The only thing worse than paying Ferrari to build a station wagon is to make one yourself. I just don't get it. And in other news, the new Facebook sucks monster hangy-downy dinosaur balls and I wish I did too.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
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Sep 12 2008 UK University Offering Course In Jedi
Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland is offering a course in Jedi this semester.
According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.
It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism. The course will provide students with the fundamental building blocks they'll need to succeed in careers like never having sex.
Sign me up!
Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course [abc]
Thanks to Miriam, who actually trained the very first Jedi.
Sep 9 2008 Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini
We've seen all kinds of exotic cars here on Geekologie. We've seen a golden Porche, Burberry barfwagon, a wooden supercar, chrome Lamborghini, DIY Lamborghini, a knit Ferrari, and even a Maserati covered in broken glass. And now, for your viewing pleasure, a Sharpie Lamborghini. It's been around for about a year so you may have seen it already. And if so, I applaud your internetellect. You can buy me a drink at Boozefest 2008 (more details to come). Anyway, this is a Lamborghini covered in Sharpie drawings. The car was penned by Prestige Lamborghini of Miami and took two weeks to create and cover with a clear coat. So what do you think? Like it? Love it? Want to drive it off a cliff? I kind of like it, and, as a guy who's no stranger to waking up with a giant Sharpied penis on his face, I need new friends.
Hit the jump for several more pictures and the link to a high-res gallery.
Continue Reading " Drawing On Wheels: The Sharpie Lamborghini "
Aug 7 2008 Sure, Why Not?: The How To Tie A Tie Tie
The HowTie from Fred is a tie that features pictorial instructions on how to tie the damn thing. Personally, I think they look like hieroglyphics, but I've never tied a tie before. And for the rest of you out there that can't, or don't want to learn, I've got two words for you: get a blogging job. We don't wear ties. Or pants. Hell, sometimes we don't even sport underwear. Isn't that right? Back me up here, Superficial and Iwatchstuff Writers. Whoa, too close! I meant verbally.
Thanks to Britany, who once heckled me on the bus after work for not wearing drawls.
Aug 6 2008 Pure Class (And Alcohol): The Beer Belt
The Beer Belt costs $18 from Urban Outfitters and holds six cans or bottles. But I assume if you're buying this you'll be carrying bottles. And not just because they're classier (although they are), but to carry six cans, you just put your belt through a loop in one of those plastic 6-pack carriers that strangles birds. But whichever way you go, there's one thing for certain: you'll be looking damn good. And, depending on how fast you drink, chugging warm beers. Just saying, scientists invented ice for a reason.
Jul 10 2008 Tie Napkins: Who Wears A Shirt To Dinner?
I typically eat alfresco, which for some might mean outdoors, but for me means butt-ass naked. I don't care if it's a 7-course dinner or a box of Oreos, I need to be comfortable. Well, for those formal tie-only affairs come these Dress For Dinner Napkins. As you can see, they're napkins with ties printed on them. They come in four tie patterns and a box of twenty will set you back $5.95. Not bad considering the money you'll save on dry cleaning bills. The only problem is, I'm having trouble finding a place to tuck them in. Hold on, I've got it. I'll just make a little incision here below the Adam's apple and...I'm bleeding. Wow, a lot. Like a lot a lot. Great, now my napkin tie is rui....
Dress For Dinner Napkins [ohgizmo]
Dec 26 2007 Robotic Foosball Table Built For A Class
A team went and built a robotic foosball table for those times when nobody wants to play with you. It was done for a college course and takes up a lot of space. "The premise is simple: servos coupled with a micro-controller operate the arms of the table, while a camera above the action monitors the game, including the location of the ball and the opponents moves, then processes that information using a custom AI." Not bad work, but they should have used belts instead of gears to cut down on the thing's footprint. Still a good start though considering it was done for a class. God knows the only thing I did for college courses was get high as shit and wander into the wrong classroom.
A video of the table in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Robotic Foosball Table Built For A Class "
