Nov 5 2009 Inner City Bike Sports No Chain, Comfort

Because bike chains (and gold chains) are such a hot commodity in the inner city, the Inner City Bike doesn't have one. Or a comfortable seat. Or much practicality. I have to have it!
Bicycling to work may be the way to go for some, but parking could still be an issue. That's why Jruiter Studio has come up with the "Inner City Bike". It boasts an ultra compact design and has no chain to boot
There's a shot of a guy riding it after the jump, which I'll be the first to admit doesn't look as uncomfortable as I thought it would. But I won't be the first to admit where I hid the jewels. Not even if you tortur -- TOP DRAWER, UNDER ALL THE SOCKS. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I HAVE CHILDREN I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT!
Hit it for a guy sitting on the thing.
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Oct 18 2009 Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens

This is a firescreen that makes it appear as though London is burning in your fireplace. There's one of Rome too, after the jump. BURN!!
It's been a long time since fire ravaged London and Rome in 1666 and 64 AD respectively--which must be why we can feel okay about making cool firescreens based on these tragic incidents today.
Very clever. Of course, I want a custom one with a bunch of mangled robot corpses in the back and me riding a dino in the foreground. Just like how it happens in the future. Don't believe me? Then where did this passage come from:
And on the seventh day, while God was resting, man foolishly invented robots. Man, being the idiot moron that he is, said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it", and they did. Then God woke up and saw the metallic shitstorm down below and sent the Geekologie Writer to whip their robotic monkey asses atop his wicked dino-mount. Plus laserbeams.
This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Amen Pew pew.
Hit the jump for Rome burning.
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Jul 23 2009 Solar Powered Gadget Charging Wi-Fi Flowers

Toyota, in a ploy to sell more Priuses (Priusi?), is installing these solar-powered, gadget charging Wi-Fi stations in a select few U.S. cities (Boston, New York, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles). Unfortunately, I don't live in any of those cities so I'm going to continue stealing my neighbor's electricity. Isn't that right, Mr. Lendoff? I said your yard looks great!
Toyota Unleashes Giant Solar-Powered Flowers On Unsuspecting Cities [ecorazzi]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who charges his gadgets the old fashioned way -- with unicorn tears.
Nov 12 2008 Mayor of Turkish City 'Batman' Is Suing Christopher Nolan And Warner Brothers

Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp.
"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."Kalkan claims he has evidence, which will show the city of Batman was founded before the 1939 debut of Bob Kane's DC Comics superhero by the same name.
Wow. Just wow. It all makes sense now. I mean, Batman, Turkey is like the crime-fighting capital I've never heard of. Why has this been a non-issue for the past 70 years? Simple -- stupid mayors. Somebody send that city a big bag full of cash, pronto.
Christopher Nolan being sued by Batman [msnbc]
Thanks to Morrocco Mole, Marc, and Adam, governors of The Riddler, Penguin, and Mr. Freeze, respectively.
Aug 14 2008 That's Freaking Huge!: Scale Model Shanghai

This is a scale model of what Shanghai will look like in 2020 if they complete all the buildings slated to be up by that time. The model takes up over 1,000 square feet and resides on the third floor of the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum. Pretty impressive Shanghai, but I completed a much larger scale model years ago. It was 1:2 scale replica of one of my nuts. Sadly, it was too big to display in the backyard. And that, students, is where the moon came from. This concludes your astronomy lesson for the day, tomorrow: how I invented black holes.
Hit the jump for several more worthwhile shots of the model.
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May 19 2008 South Korea To Build Robot-Themed Parks By 2013, Destruction Of Human Race Ensues

I question how a robot-themed amusement park is going to complement the future Seoul Eco-Commune of 2026, but whatever, they didn't ask for my opinion. Besides, if the robot parks are a success, Korea won't need an Eco-Commune in 2026 because everyone will be dead. Robotic destruction prophecies aside, the South Korean government plans to build two robot-themed parks near Seoul by 2013. The $1.6 billion venture is all part of a program to position the country as the world's robotic mecca. Other initiatives include placing a robot in every household by 2020 and a recently drafted Robot Ethics Code, which lays down the law as to what constitutes robotic abuse, etc. Yes, I'm being serious.
The government of South Korea is drawing up a code of ethics to prevent human abuse of robots--and vice versa.
The new charter is part of an effort to establish ground rules for human interaction with robots in the future."Imagine if some people treat androids as if the machines were their wives," Hye-Young Park of the ministry's robot team told the AFP news agency.
Hye-Young, I have no idea what in the hell you're trying to get at. Are you saying that treating robots that way would be a good thing or a bad thing? I mean it's not like I want to have sex with them, I just want somebody who can cook my eggs over-easy for once.
A picture of a chick and a robot having a slap fight after the jump.
Mar 12 2008 Freedom Ship: For When The World Floods

When the world floods only a few people will survive. I will be one of them, because I'm blasting off in a rocket ship instead of jumping onto a glorified cruise ship. But whatever. The Freedom Ship, which is a floating city, has existed as a concept for some time. But now the company (Freedom Ship International) is moving forward with construction and expects the monster to be completed in three years. Which means it may go into service before the apocalypse. It will have the following amenities:
18,000 living units, with prices in the range of $180,000 to $2.5 million, including a small number of premium suites currently priced up to $44 million.
* 3,000 commercial units in a similar price range
* 2,400 time-share units
* 10,000 hotel units
* A World Class Casino
* More than 100 acres of outdoor Park, Recreation, Exercise and Community space
Wow, BO-RING. Oh you want to hear what my rocket ship will have do you? Well I'm glad you asked. The Geekologie Writer's Intergalactic Freedom Rocketship Of Safety will contain the following amenities:
*Me
*You
*A hot tub
*Some champagne
*Bathing suits optional
*Come over whenever
*Wink*
Do you see what I did there? I pretended to have a rocketship to lure beautiful women over to my house for some fun in the hot tub. *ding-dong* Oh, that's the doorbell -- looks like I've got my first taker -- back in sec. Damnit, that was a dude. Yeah, and he was sans swim trunks. Didn't I say no dudes? Shit, I must have forgotten.
UPDATE: NO DUDES!
One more conceptual pic from above after the jump off.
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Jan 17 2008 Sewer Doormats Add Slum To Your Porch

Feet First doormats are made to look like some of the world's most famous manhole covers. They're 24" round, made out of 100% recycled truck tires, and cost an unknown amount of money. I actually want one, because I'm setting a booby trap for Ninja Turtles. Once I catch one (probably Michelangelo, he's an idiot) I'll torture the bastard until he tells me where Master Splinter is hiding. Once I've located Splinter I'll make him teach me some wicked ninja moves. Then I'll kick my roommate's ass for always stealing my Fudge Rounds.
UPDATE: It appears someone had already thought of the idea, and this company is just knocking them off and expanding the line. Ah, capitalism.
thanks to Sebastian, who could kick my roommate's ass for me if he was here, for the tip
Jan 9 2008 RPM-1200 Is Cool, Made Of, Get This -- Junk!

Japanese artist Enoki Chu made this fine looking piece of art entirely out of polished metal junk, including drill bits, machine parts, and others. The whole piece looks like a futuristic cityscape and has a diameter of 15 feet and stands 11 feet tall. So it's a pretty good size. It's titled RPM-1200, but I'm renaming it Do Not Sit Here. Because it would hurt if you did. Like real bad. Serious pain. In your rear. Sit on a foam donut for two weeks and sleep face down bad. Like nightmares of a skyscraper up your ass bad.
Two more pictures after the jump, including a closer-up one.
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