Sep 4 2009 Gyro Kid's Bowl Makes Spilling More Difficult
Let's face it: kids were born to make your life a living hell and wreak havoc on your house and mental health whenever possible (note: this is all speculation, I don't actually have any kids. ANYMORE -- they're all growed up!). So why not minimize the damage the little imps can do to your kitchen with a $10 Gyro Toddler Food Bowl? "No matter which way the handles of this bowl are turned, the food in the middle stays upright." Awesome. Wait -- is that caramel corn? TODDLERS DON'T EAT CARAMEL CORN!! What are you, trying to kill the little bastard? Cause you know they fetch a pretty penny on the black market. I mean, I'VE HEARD. Firsthand (meet me behind the Dollar General).
Aug 17 2009 What Took So Long?: A LEGO Clock Radio
I've been thinking for years how badly the world needs a $30 LEGO clock radio, so why it took so long to finally make one is beyond me. Also, quantum physics, I don't those either.
The LEGO Clock Radio is ten times the size of an original LEGO brick with knobs that work as volume and tuner controls. With an AM/FM radio and snooze feature, you'll start the day off right every morning!
* AM-FM Clock Radio with battery back-up
* 10 times the size of an actual LEGO block
* LCD display with color matched backlight
* 120V AC power adapter
* Requires 4 AA batteries
Wow, not even a CD player. But it does have small parts!
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Listen, if my child decides to rip off those buttons and eat them, that's his prerogative. Isn't that right, GW Jr.? Awww, you look so cute holding that knife.
Thanks to naas, who wakes up the old fashioned way: to gunfire.
Jul 29 2009 Why?: Jellyfish Toys Go In Your Water Bottle
Bandai is selling these $6 jellyfish toys that you put in your water bottle to keep you company when you're doing whatever sad, lonely thing you do that's led you to buy a $6 piece of plastic to keep you company. But hey, I'm not judging (I just ordered thirty). They come in jellyfish, squid and octopus varieties and present a choking hazard to all people under 150. GOTTA CHOKE ON 'EM ALL!
Several more shots after the jump.
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Feb 5 2009 Idiot Tries To Strangle Girlfriend With Wiimote
In the latest of video game-themed attacks, a guy tried to strangle his girlfriend with the cord of a Wiimote. And I'll tell you -- he even LOOKS like the kind of guy that'd try to strangle someone with a video game controller. What a quarter-pound of fail.
An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.
The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after.
First of all, you don't ever try to strangle a woman, that's pathetic. And secondly, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never, ever, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, come between a woman and her Girl Scout Cookies. You're lucky to be alive, Alvarez, now kill yourself.
Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller [statesman]
Thanks to Jordan, who once tried to choke his roommate with a PS3 controller. The plan was doomed from the start.
Jul 15 2008 Evan, 5, Gets Transformers Cake For Birthday
Evan, a 5-year old from Whoknows, Orcares, got a Transformers cake for his birthday. As you can see, it's fairly well made and features a lead-based Transformers logo on top. But don't eat the figurines, Evan, or your fifth birthday may transform into your last. HAHA AHAH! Seriously though, Evan, I had a real-life Transformer at my 5th birthday. He started off as my dad, but after a bottle of Evan Williams transformed into a guy that made out with the magician's assistant and sat on my cake.
Hit the jump for a close-up of the logo.
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