Oct 12 2009 I Would 100% Eat Those: Mario Bon-Bons
These Mario bon-bons were all created by L337 skilled pastry artist (and Flickr user) Ana Fuji (like the apple!) and feature a fondant character atop a delectable chocolate ball. I think my favorite is either the fire-flower or Bomb-omb (another picture after the jump). Also, Ana did a series of Pokémon characters as well, which I think we can all agree brings new meaning to the term "Poké-bons", am I right? Or any meaning at all SEEING HOW IT DIDN'T EXIST BEFORE I JUST MADE IT UP! Word wizarding degree: I got mine from Hogwarts. Get jealousful!
Hit the jump for another shot of the Mario-bons and one of the Poké-bons.
Jul 9 2009 Death By Chocolate: A Modern Augustus Gloop
A man died in a New Jersey chocolate factory yesterday after he fell into a huge vat of melted chocolate.
Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.
The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred.
Wow, what a way to go. Also, I'm gonna hold off on the Hershey's for a while.
Man dies at chocolate factory [cnn]
Thanks to Alex, Jcon, Michelle, joe the human beatbox and Tad Bit Tipsy, who all want to fall into a vat of chocolate, then marshmallow, then graham cracker crumbs.
Jun 29 2009 Mmmm, Chocolatey: The S'Mores Keyboard
This is probably the most delicious keyboard I've ever seen because I haven't seen a bacon one yet. Unfortunately, like a harmless robot, it doesn't actually exist. BUT IF IT DID. Oh, the things I would do to you. Oh yeah, you like that? You like those Doritos crumbs? You like those Doritos crumbs between your marshmallows?
S'More Keyboard Would Not Survive 10 Minutes on My Desk [gizmodo]
Thanks to GreenBoss, who kicked FuchsiaBoss's ass and ate his keyboard.
May 6 2009 Wait, What?: A Chocolate Powered Race Car
That's right, a team at Warwick University have developed a race car that's made out of vegetables and runs on chocolate. Of course, gumdrops and licorice sticks would have been cooler, but hey, you work with what you've got.
The racer isn't legal to race in the F3-series as chocolate-based fuels aren't on the approved list of energy sources, but that's not the point. The WorldFirst team is trying to prove green-racing doesn't have to mean boring-racing. They've used recycled materials in combination with fibers and extracts of fruits, vegetables and plants to create composites, materials and lubricants along the same vein as carbon fiber, plastics, and oil. It's based on the standard Lola chassis and despite the eco-friendliness, the car will still hit 145 MPH and corner like the real deal.
Well snap crackle pop! Plus, if you crash in the wilderness you can eat your car to survive. Double whammy! Now, here's your fun word fact for the day: race car is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It's a palindrome, just like "Wo! Nemo, Toss a Lasso to Me Now!" You know that joker Mr. Wizard that used to be on TV? Yeah, well I'm like his illegitimate cousin, Mr. Word Wizard. Except I don't invite neighborhood kids over to my house all the time BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL.
WorldFirst ecoF3: A Chocolate-Powered Sustainable Race Car [jalopnik]
Thanks to Dr Freak, Thumperchica, Lisa, Stirling and James, who made a race car that was powered by dreams but crashed it when one of them had a nightmare.
Apr 21 2009 I Want To Eat You: Cupcake Hamburgers
Somebody went and made a batch of cupcakes that look like hamburgers. I think their maker did a great job, don't you? Because you'll be meeting yours if you disagree. Yeah, that was a threat. No, not a treat, a threat. I'll kill you, yo. I mean it.
These are vanilla cupcakes with a chocolate cuppie in between, green coconut for the lettuce and frosting for the mustard and ketchup. Yum!
Mmmm, cupcake sliders. Everyone here does know what a slider is right? It's a mini-burger. Yeah, they're called sliders because they're small enough to slide down your gullet without much chewing. Not unlike myself. Which....did you just hear that? It sounded like ten thousand women and a handful of gay men fainting simultaneously.
Hamburger Cupcakes [plime]
Thanks to Juste, who once ate 37 White Castle sliders and then projectile vomited for four minutes straight. Gross.
Apr 20 2009 HOLY NOMs!: Jesus Appears In Kit Kat Bar
On Good Friday (OLD, LATE, BLOW ME GW!) Jesus revealed himself in the form of a half-eaten Kit Kat bar. Because, well, the son of God hates Twix. As you can see in those deliciously crispy layers, the Lord's face looks eerily similar to that on the shroud of Turin (Sunday school, son, TA-DOW!). However, the divine bar is not without it's hell-burning naysayers.
Other witnesses were less impressed. "It looks more like Darth Vader," said one.
Really -- Darth Vader? Now why on earth would Darth Vader appear in a damn Kit Kat bar? The man only likes dark chocolate. Get it, because of The Dark Side? I don't either. No, you're the Nutter Butter!
Sweet Jesus, his face is in a choc [thesun]
Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne and ash, who both agree they should replace communion wafers with Kit Kats.
Apr 13 2009 Biblical: And The Lord Said, "Go Forth And Build Me With Modular Plastic Blocks"
Parishioners at a Protestant church in Vasteras, Sweden, kicked off Easter yesterday with the unveiling of a 6-foot tall, 30,000 piece LEGO Jesus. *eyeballing own 6", 18-piece LEGO Jesus* Nice, guys, way to 1-up me.
It took the 40 volunteers about 18 months to put all the tiny plastic blocks together, and their creation shows a standing Jesus facing forward with his arms outstretched.
Church spokesman Per Wilder said the statue at the Onsta Gryta church in the central Swedish city of Vasteras is a copy of Danish sculptor Bertel Thorvaldsen's "Christus" statue on display in Copenhagen.
LEGO Jesuses, now THAT'S what Easter is all about. Am I right? Well, besides dying eggs and projectile vomiting the chocolate bunny from your Easter basket. *HOOOORF* I think I see his ear!
Parishioners create Christ statue from Legos [dispatch]
Thanks to Jeremy and Meema, who had a Peep-eating contest and both lost.
Apr 6 2009 I Like The Sound Of That: Huffable Chocolate
Normally I'm an airplane glue kind of guy, but hey, chocolate could be good. Good mixed with airplane glue! That's what I'm talkin' about -- double fist style! Anyway, Le Whif breathable chocolates are supposed to give you the same sensations as eating chocolate, but probably nowhere near as good. An analogy: Breathable chocolate:chocolate::porn:sex. With both breathable chocolate and porn you get no ass! ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING!
Over the centuries we've been eating smaller and smaller quantities at shorter and shorter intervals," says (David) Edwards who, coincidentally (yeah, right) has a new novel out at the same time. It seemed to us that eating was tending toward breathing, so, with a mix of culinary art and aerosol science, we've helped move eating habits to their logical conclusion. We call it whiffing.
No, we call it huffing, Dave. Whiffing is when you try to punch somebody and miss. If you're interested, Le Whif huffgun shells are available in chocolate, mint chocolate, chocolate raspberry and chocolate mango and sell for about $4 a pop. No word on how much huff you get out of a single canister, but if I had to guess, I'd say one...two...three... *CRUNCH* three.
Hit the jump for a video of some bicycle-seat whiffing in action.
Continue Reading " I Like The Sound Of That: Huffable Chocolate "
Mar 9 2009 Typing By Taste: A White Chocolate Keyboard
It's a keyboard. It's white chocolate. Aaaand that's all I've got. I don't think it's full-sized. It might be though. But I doubt it. Also, if you ladies out there like white chocolate, that's what I'm made of. But if you don't like white chocolate, then I'm milk chocolate. Unless you don't like chocolate at all, in which case I'm caramel -- sticky sweet and drizzled all over your sundae. I don't even know what that means but I am so craving a banana split right now. Do you like strawberry topping, baby? Awh yeah. How about that pineapple stuff? See, I hate that shit. I don't think this is gonna work out after all.
Teclado de chocolate blanco [noquedanblogs]
Thanks to Romeo, who is allegedly made out of Magic Shell if any of you ladies are interested.
Feb 2 2009 Good Times: G4's Olivia Munn Jumping Into Chocolate Pie With French Maid Outfit On
Have you always wanted to see Olivia Munn jump into a chocolate pie while dressed like a French maid? Me neither, that's why this video did nothing for me. Especially not at 2:30 and 5:00-5:30.
'AOTS' Hosts, Olivia Munn And Kevin Pereira Dive Into Gigantic Pie! [g4tv]
Thanks to jigga and Barry, who broke into the studio and ate some.
Jan 24 2009 Commercial: Hey Kids, Wicked Eyebrows!
This is a Cadbury chocolate commercial featuring two kids with crazy freaking eyebrows. Allegedly the eyebrowery is all real. Is there a gene for that? And, if so, can you clone my childhood dog, I miss her. I'll tell you one thing though, I want to have talented kids like that. The little tykes will make me a small fortune in the freak show. Or I'll sell them to gypsies.
Thanks to Ranney, who once sold an eyebrow on eBay with free shipping and almost made enough to cover postage.
Jun 13 2008 New Roller Coaster Features 97 Degree Drop
The New Fahrenheit roller coaster at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania features a 97 degree drop at the beginning. That's 7 degrees past vertical (see picture: right side, where the track curves back in). At the bottom of the drop riders experience 4 G's and then puke and/or passout. The two minute ride is being billed as the steepest and most severe in the United States and the coaster just opened on May 24th. I'm not riding it. And not because I don't love roller coasters (I do), but because of this quote from Popular Mechanics:
(Talking about the testing of the ride) First, engineers load the trains full of heavy water dummies, to figure out how the cars will behave when they're at capacity. The rules say you need 100 hours of this testing, but engineers at the park said they would run over 1,000 rides before people got on the coaster.
Stop the presses. If the ride is 2 minutes long and you run 1,000 rides, that's, uh, only 33 hours and 20 minutes of testing. You weren't the same engineers that designed the ride are you? You don't say. Say, if you wouldn't mind unstrapping me, I'd like to get the f*** off this thing before I make a little chocolate of my own.
Another picture and the video after the jump.
Continue Reading " New Roller Coaster Features 97 Degree Drop "
May 21 2008 Gourmet Chocolates Shaped Like, Uh, Yeah
I tried to avoid posting these because the product is sophomoric and I'm a real class act with serious journalistic integrity, but I got the tip so many times that I figured I pretty much had to. So here it is, the Incredible Edible Anus. You heard correct -- butthole shaped chocolates. You can order a box of 12 (unknown price) or a single 35mm x 25mm x 25mm 'Big Boy' for about $6. And for a limited time you can get one made out of pure silver for about $470! "People come and people go. Our solid silver anus is immune from the daily wear and tear that similar products experience." I assume they're talking about actual buttholes there. Grossed out yet? I have been for fifteen minutes already. Take it away, testimonials!
'They're fab - I want to get my hands on some more!' Graham Norton - TV Presenter
'Say 'Thank You' with a box of delightful chocolate starfish.'
Bizarre Magazine'The very existence of these Milk Chocolate B*mholes probably heralds the destruction of the Earth by fire. And about time, too.'
G Scene Magazine'Thanks for the Incredible Silver Anus, it was a wedding gift. '
Buyer: courtney.bell'The best anus I've ever paid for. First Class Service and well packaged. Cheers '
Buyer: 123thomaspope'FUNNY GAG. TASTES GOOD TOO CONSIDERING IM EATING SOMEONES ASS!!! THANKS!! '
Buyer: srhmusicSelf-confessed anal-choco-holic, excellent fix! speedy delivery, supa service*** '
Buyer: mariamerton10x
I wonder who made the mold. And whether or not they've tried one.
Product Site (check out the URL)
Thanks Allyson, Shawn, and Greg, this is just what I wanted to wake up to
Apr 8 2008 Disturbing: Baby Chocolates Are Scary, Edible
Ryan, who sent this tip, wrote to let me know that Geekologie hadn't featured anything creepy in a while, and this was his suggestion. It's a baby (complete with a hose bigger than mine) made entirely of chocolate. I think the hair is a little suspect, but what do I know? I'm only Willy Wonka's apprentice. And no, I don't shower with the Oompa-Loompas, so I've never seen them naked. Quit asking.
UPDATE: FAKE! FIRST! FUCK they're not chocolate they're made of silicon or something. Scary baby cake added after the jump to make up for it (Thanks M).
Several more after the jump.
Continue Reading " Disturbing: Baby Chocolates Are Scary, Edible "
Feb 14 2008 Happy Valentine's Day, I Love You All
Happy Valentine's Day! I want you all to know that if you don't have a special someone in your life then I would be more than happy to substitute until said person is found. Partly because I'm such a nice guy and love you all, and partly because my girlfriend sucks and I can't stand her anymore. You see this LED display she made me? Cute right? Too bad she really meant it. I think it's the clap, but I'm going to the free clinic this afternoon just to be sure. It feels like someone took a blowtorch to my ding dong. Anyway, happy Valentine's Day everyone, stay clean.
Valentine's day projects [make]
Feb 13 2008 Chocolate Scrabble Looks Yummy, Delicious
Chocolate Scrabble is a chocolate bar with the alphabet on it. It's 3.5 ounces of delicious dark chocolate. Unfortunately one set of the alphabet does not constitute the tiles necessary to play a round of the awesomest word game ever. So you'll have to buy a bunch of bars. Like 12 (the number of E's in a regular set). Then you'd have to eat 11 Z's, X's, and Q's along with a bunch other letters. Still, I love the idea. It looks a lot more delicious than the Scrabble tiles I made, which are razor blades. Deadliest game of Scrabble you'll ever play.
Chocolate Scrabble [core77]
Feb 12 2008 Atari 2600 Cake Really Takes Me Back
Ah, the Atari 2600. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye as I flashback to a simpler time -- when games were basic, graphics were no-frills, and seeing a naked woman would have probably killed me. There's not too much information about this cake, except it depicts an Atari 2600 joystick, is completely edible, and was made by a pastry chef named Lisa. That and I want to eat it. I call the red button! And the stick as long as it's not a turd.
atari 2600 joystick cake for tasty retro gaming [technabob]
Jan 23 2008 Wii Mii Chocolates In Time For Valentine's
Wii Mii Chocolates are, get this -- little Wii Mii shaped chocolates! You get the option of milk, dark, or white chocolate, and can choose any combination of the three, along with the preferred sexes of the two figures. They run $15 and come in a little Wii shaped box. Perfect for that Wii loving lover of yours for Valentine's day. I actually thought about ordering some, but I've decided on going a different route. Instead of buying chocolates I'm going to write a heartfelt poem for my girlfriend on Valentine's. The following is my rough draft.
My girlfriend,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I couldn't come up with anything, so I guess I don't.
I've been sleeping with your best friend anyways.
I guess this is my way of saying "we're over."
Happy Valentine's.I hope you cry a lot,
The Geekologie Writer
Pretty romantic, I know.
Chocolate Mii for you and Wii [popgadget]
Sep 7 2007 Computer Themed Cupcakes A Party Hit!
Cakes By 2 Moms made these delicious looking cupcakes, each featuring an Apple or computer themed icon. They look tasty as hell, but aren't apple flavored (which would have scored more points). That's okay though, because apple cupcakes would probably taste like ass anyways, especially with chocolate frosting. You know, I've been trying to develop my own line of cakes for awhile now, but every time I try they turn out less like computer inspired deliciousness, and more like my fat girlfriend eating all the batter before the oven preheats.
Apple Themed Cupcakes A Party Hit! [gizmodo]
