Nov 19 2009 Just Make Your Own: Cantena Chain Clock
I like this clock. I can't exactly say why but I think it's because it costs $2,338 and is definitely something my son team of highly skilled artisans could recreate for a fraction of the cost, ultimately saving you, the sucker, a bundle.
one of our favorite wall clocks, the catena wall clock harkens back to traditional mechanical clocks. copper digits mounted onto a bicycle chain place emphasis on the cyclical nature of time. this clock is a striking clock, literally and figuratively.
IT'S A GEAR AND BICYCLE CHAIN. Sure it's awesome looking but you can't justify a $2,400 pricetag. Besides, what if some punk steals my chain for his BMX? Then I'm timeless! Which, God just look at my chiseled features, I really am.
Thanks to Danundertheice and darwyn4, who know what time it is. Am I right, Flavor Flav? Nice viking helmet.
May 26 2009 Artist Folds Paper To Create Pictures
German artist Simon Schubert folds pieces of paper into beautiful pictures of, uh, stairwells. Each piece takes about a week's worth of work and can sell for up to $6,000. *gathering neighborhood kids in a wagon* Arts and crafts time at the Geekologie Writer's house!
"Most of the people who see the work are surprised that the pictures are created by folding paper, they don't believe it when I tell them.
"Many of them think I've used paint or pencil to create the affect of light and shade. But when they realise the pictures are actually folded they are quite impressed."
Impressive, Simon, it's too bad I'm about to flood the market with child-folded ripoffs! Isn't that right, kids? Kids? *dink dink dittle dee dink dittle dee dink dee dink dee dink * DAMN YOU, ICE CREAM VAN!
Hit the fold for a bunch more.
May 15 2009 Woman Offers Man Baby As Taser Shield
A Missouri woman offered a man her 1-year old child for use as a taser shield when he was being confronted by cops. Now that's solid parenting.
Officers were at an apartment checking on an assault claim made by the woman when a man confronted them, making threats. One of the officers displayed a Taser as the man approached.
Police said the mother offered her child to the man, placing the toddler in the Taser's path. The man, 22, faces two counts of resisting arrest. The woman, 20, was charged with endangering the welfare of a child and interfering with an arrest. She was arrested Tuesday night and placed at the Marion County jail on a 24-hour hold.
Wow, just....wow. Thank God tasers weren't so prevalent when I was a kid or my parents would have probably put an ad in the newspaper. I can see it now:
FOR SALE: One child, male. Large head, cries a lot. Would make a great taser shield.
Mo. mom accused of using child to block Taser [yahoonews]
Thanks to Noah, who knows only teenagers should be used for blocking tasers. Also, lasers. PEW PEW!
Feb 6 2009 9-Year Old Writes Finger Painting iPhone App
Lim Ding Wen is a 9-year old Chinese boy. But not just any Chinese boy, Ding Wen wrote a finger painting iPhone app for his younger siblings.
Lim, who is now fluent in six programming languages, first started using a computer when he was two-years-old, discovered programming aged seven, and has since completed more than 20 programming projects.
His latest application, Doodle Kids, allows users to draw pictures using their fingers and then clear the screen by shaking the iPhone.
Pretty impressive, huh? Not to his father!
"Ding Wen is an above average boy with an interest in computers, especially Apple IIGS and Macs, likes to do programming, and that's it. Doodle Kids is an extremely simple program that can be done by anybody. Everybody can program - if Ding Wen can, so can you," he wrote.
Wow, dad, don't be too proud. "Who, Din Wen? Eh, he's nothing special. And just between you and me -- I think he's retarded. Mother's side of course."
Nine-year-old writes iPhone code [bbcnews]
Thanks to Lisa, who was programming VCRs at four.
Jan 9 2009 TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN: Stupid Kid Gets Wii For Christmas, Doesn't Deserve It
TURN YOUR SPEAKERS DOWN, SERIOUSLY. This is a video of some kid getting wiidiculous after he opens a Wii on Christmas. And let me tell you: based on his behavior, I would have taken that shit right back to the store. But in all seriousness kid, your parents don't love you. Don't believe me? Where was your Wii on Christmas 2006? 2007? Exactly.
NOTE: To everyone else that didn't get a Wii until this Christmas, I'm sure it was just a supply shortage issue.
Thanks to Edgar (aka the-iguana) and Sarah, who hope the box was filled with coal almost as much as I do.
Oct 10 2008 10-Year Old Tennessee Boy Enlisted To Drive Drunks Home, Flips Van At 90MPH
A 10-year old's driving services were requested by 43-year old Randy Lewis (that's actually him in the picture, he was really wearing that shirt) and Paula Elaine Evans because they were too drunk to drive themselves. Other passengers included another 10-year old and a 6-year old. However, the driver lost control of the van at 90MPH and flipped it, before it finally came to stop on its roof. Thankfully, the children were released from the hospital later with only minor injuries (the adults could have died for all I care).
When the authorities arrived on the scene, Lewis admitted to having consumed at least 15 beers as well as some alcohol while Miss Evans pounded down as many unidentified pills as she could before police arrested her.
Wow, making a 10-year old drive you home because you're wasted? That's just sad. I think we can all agree here that designated drivers should at least be 11½. You know, so they can reach the pedals.
Ten-Year-Old Drives Drunks Home, Rolls Van At 90 MPH [jalopnik]
Thanks to biggestpenisintheworld, who, based on the picture he sent, may actually be.
Mar 5 2008 9-Year Old Tears Up Guitar Hero III On Expert, Puts My Untalented Children To Shame
This is a video of 9-year old Ben tearing up Through the Fire and Flames for Guitar Hero III on expert. His little fingers move so fast. Just imagine how well he'd work on my child-labor powered assembly line. I bet he could really ramp up my production numbers. Don't get a big head though Ben, just because you can rock some Guitar Hero doesn't mean you're better than my kids. No sir. They're talented in other ways. Take my youngest son, Jimmy Jimereeno for instance. He sucks at video games but he can pick his nose. Yeah, and eat it. He's up there with the best of them. And not only that, he's not limited to his own nostrils. Just the other day I saw him jamming his chubby little finger up the dog's nose. Great kid, lots of talent.
Thanks to Tim, who can play Guitar Hero blindfolded and with one arm tied behind his back, for the tip
