Aug 26 2009 I Love Science: Scientist Plan to 'Reverse-Engineer' Dinosaurs From Modern Chickens

In the best news I've heard in a while, a scientist at McGill University in Montreal (I love you, Canada) is attempting to reverse engineer a dinosaur from a chicken "by altering chicken genes known to have evolved since the Cretaceous."

Needless to say, there are many problems with the very concept of making a dinosaur out of a chicken. For one, dinosaurs, as a group, are defined by only a few characteristics: a hole in their hip socket, some limb bone flanges, and other minor anatomical features. Changing chicken DNA won't produce those traits, because chickens already have them. A chicken, like all birds, is already a dinosaur. Getting rid of its feathers or giving it teeth won't make it more of a dinosaur than it already is.

What in the -- chickens ARE dinosaurs? To the colonel's farm, STAT -- I'm gonna roll myself in corn and die happy!

Scientist Vows To Reverse-Engineer Dinosaur From Chicken [popsci]

Thanks to James, Alexander the Viking, Mr. Robbot, Adam, Dustin, Erik, Myriapode, Tigerh8r, Pepe la PEWPEW, Dominik and Caroline, who will never look at a drumstick the same.

Mar 5 2009 It'll Get You Drunk!: The McNuggitini *HORF*

The McNuggitini is a cocktail inspired by the deliciousness that is a McDonald's (all clay) milkshake and Chicken McNuggets (which do constitute an emergency).

Ingredients:

2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don't tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee).

My goodness that sounds....puke in my mouth-y. I do like vodka though. But I only take it ultra-neat. I'm talking straight to the vein, folks -- mainlining! ALL ABOARD THE PASS-OUT EXPRESS, NEXT STOP: BATHROOM FLOOR. CHOO CHOO!

Hit the link if you want to see a pictorial of the McNuggitini experience featuring Alie and Georgia.

In Which Georgia Gives You The McNuggetini [thisrecording]

Thanks to Tank and Bronson, who, not to be outdone, invented the Fillet O' Fishtini.

Mar 4 2009 Woman Calls 911 Over McNugget Emergency

NOTE: Video consists of the calls to 911.

Not once. Not twice. But three times did Latreasa Goodman call 911 about the lack of McNuggets at her local McDonald's and the manager's unwillingness to give her a refund.

When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." Goodman noted, "I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. That logic, however, did not keep cops from citing Goodman for misusing the 911 system. Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

I'm with you, Latreasa -- McNuggets ARE an emergency. I've nearly killed cashiers for less. Like that time they told me the McFlurry machine was broken -- I was over the counter and had dude's hand in a deep fryer before you could say Value Meal.

A McNuggets "Emergency" [thesmokinggun]

Thanks to Jason and Tank, who have both called 911 because they didn't get the toys they wanted their Happy Meals.

Oct 22 2008 New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista

These are the two new Mac ads (other one after the jump) that take a direct stab at Microsoft's recent commercial endeavors and Vista. Now I hate to call this a mud slinging campaign, but that certainly seems to be what it is. Which, I think we can all agree, harkens back to the age old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A: It was a cock! Trust me, I'm an evolutionary bioscientologist.

Hit the jump for the other one.

Continue Reading " New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista "

May 22 2008 Music Video: A Tour of Mac Operating System

This is a music video made for "Again and Again" by the Birds and the Bees. It's basically a tour of a Mac's operating system. Some of the programs included in the video are:

• Capture • iTunes • Microsoft Word • Photo Booth • iChat • Stickies • Photoshop CS3 • iPhoto • Fast User Switching • Mac OSX Zoom Tip • Finder • Spotlight • Quicktime Player • Stacks • Quick Look • Desktop • Screensaver • Dashboard • Dashcode • Illustrator • Final Cut Pro • Exposé • Time Machine • iMovie • Spaces • Windows Media Player for Mac • Flip4Mac • Flash CS3 • VLC Media Player • Shake • Mplayer • DVD Studio Pro • Real Player • iDVD • Color • Screenflow • Cinematize • Safari • iTunes Store

Pretty neat. But what would be even neater is if I could figure out what exactly that chick wants me to do to her again and again? Is it the pterodactyl? Because if it is, she's in luck -- I never get tired of that. But if it's something lame like rubbing her feet, she can forget about that shit. The Geekologie Writer doesn't do feet. Foot fetish people give me the creeps. Now armpits and the back of the knees -- those are respectable fetishes.

Music Video Is Complete Mac OS X Leopard Tour [gizmodo]

Thanks to alex, who uses few words in news tips and is a real X Leopard in bed.

Apr 23 2008 Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real

Remember the "human-like" versions of Mario and Homer from a while ago? Well pixeloo is at it again, this time with a smoking hot Jessica Rabbit. There, I said it. She's not real and she's hot. Can you see what I'm doing now? I'm doing that thing that the cartoon wolf does where his eyeballs pop out and his tongue rolls onto the floor because he's staring at a hot chick. That's what I look like right now. The cats are getting scared. Anyway, there's Jessica Rabbit with "realistic lighting and textures." Say, have you ever watched the scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit on laserdisc frame-by-frame to see Jessica's, ahem, rabbit? Yeah, me neither.*

*Unless doing it when you're 12 counts, which it totally doesn't.

Another side-by-side comparison shot of Jessica, and a link to the urban legend page that references the scene I'm talking about (with pictures!), after the jump.

Continue Reading " Jessica Rabbit Is Hot Despite Not Being Real "

Feb 11 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Chicken Holder Is Iffy

The Col-Pop is the brainchild of BBQ Chicken USA (a Korean BBQ franchise). They have over 3,500 stores worldwide, but they're just making their way to the states (they have a handful of stores in NY, NJ, and NC), so you may have to wait a bit until you get to experience the awesomeness that is the Col-Pop. Basically it's a cup insert that perches your chicken nuggets safely and conveniently above your beverage. As you can see from the schematic there, it's pretty simple. Almost as simple as the version I created, which is liquefied chicken soda. Not only is it convenient, you don't have to worry about anybody trying to steal your nuggets. You know, because they're liquid and taste like shit.

The Future Of Food Is Portable, A Little Weird [ohgizmo]