Jul 20 2009 Chicago Bulls/Robotic Death Army Conspiracy
Let's not kid ourselves, robots are going to to take over the planet and only farm us for use as bio-fuel and cage fighters. And, apparently there has been arobotic conspiracy involving the Chicago Bulls logo for some time. And to think, I used to want to be like Mike.
When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest...
Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us? Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it's too late!
Finally, somebody talking some sense! It's times like these when I know, despite all you naysayers, that I'm not alone. Although, sometimes, I wish I was. Seriously bro, a man needs some private time. Now toss me that National Geographic on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover.
The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy [rationalreality]
Thanks to b00m, who suspects the Celtics logo was created by the Illuminati to help control sports fans.
Jul 2 2009 You Have Got To Be Kidding Me: Sears Tower Unveils Glass Balconies on 103rd Floor
The Sears Tower opened "The Ledge" to the public today. The Ledge is a 4-foot glass balcony that's suspended 1,353 feet above the ground on the 103rd floor. It provides a panoramic view of Chicago, provided the walls aren't covered in accidents. Fun fact: urine spilled from the 103rd floor can break concrete on the sidewalk below.* And not just if you drank a jackhammer, but it helps.
*No not really, stop emailing me.
Hit the jump for a couple more of the NO I AM NOT AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
Mar 27 2009 Warp Whistle: Mario In The Real World
We've already seen several different versions of what it would be like if Mario existed in the real world. And, well, I hope you liked them because here comes another. This one is entitled 'Warp Whistle' and documents the plump little plumber's visit to Chicago. It's only three minutes long, so even if you hate it, you only wasted three minutes. Which, be honest, you would have blown just acting like you were working anyways. And speaking of acting like you're working -- can one of you tell The Superficial Writer or Iwatchstuff to jiggle my mouse -- I was supposed to come in today but decided to get drunk and lay on the bathroom floor instead.
Warp Whistle [chunnel]
Thanks to Lindsay, who looks a lot better in a raccoon suit than Mario. Furplay, YOW YOW!
